Hordes of cats from all over the country are pouring into New Orleans today in hopes of catching a glimpse of the Pooses for Peace Float and their marching Bite & Run bands in the Bacchus Parade on Fat Tuesday.
Extra security has been brought in from around the state. The celebrity cats have a cult following and have been blamed for several Bite & Run attacks on republican officials and celebrity stick insects in the past. Authorities have warned tourists not to wear expensive jewelry or bring valuables to the events.
The Pooses for Peace will hold a Mardi Gras Party on Tuesday 2/16/10 along with Harry Connick Jr and other musicians. Details of the party will be announced shortly.
Miss Zevo Calamari spokes-poose for the cats issued a statement today. " We are so excited about riding in this years parade. Do you think these beads make me look fat? Oh and i encourage everyone to wear their very best jewelry.. after all you want to look good for the party. Could you pass me a hit off that flask ... thanks.
Gung Hay Fat Choy
SALEM — The former St. Mary's Italian Church is for sale.
The executive director of the Salem Mission, now known as Lifebridge, made the surprise announcement yesterday, saying the nonprofit organization has hired commercial real estate appraisers to set a price on the 1925 church building. The property will go on the market "as soon as we determine a value," Cote said.
Unconfirmed sources report that the infamous group of cats known as the Pooses for Peace have already made an offer and are in negotiations to buy the church. The members of the so called liberal domestic terrorist organization are devout Pastafarians, (followers of the Flying Spaghetti Monster ). The celebrity cats plan to refurbish the building into the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Rumors are also flying that the cats intend to also add a restaurant adjacent to the building and call it The Holy Spaghetti Factory. The facility will include underground parking for its patrons, a beer volcano and a pirate theme boutique.
This is not the first appearance of the Flying Spaghetti Monster in Salem. Unconfirmed sources say that the FSM appeared at the Haunted Happenings parade last October causing chaos in the small city. click here if you forgot!
Mayor Kimberley Driscoll is opposed to her nemesis's plan. She released the following statement: "We will need to hire a consultant and hold meetings to discuss the impact of this. That could take years and several thousands of dollars. Then we will have to lay off more teachers and firemen. Those cats are a menace to society. The city of Salem has had enough of this Flying Pasta nonsense ........ could you have my secretary make a reservation at Bella Verona for tonight? I lost my iPhone again."
Spokes-poose, Zevo Hussein Calamari issued a statement this morning as well: "For all those concerned about where the homeless shelter will be placed, we have decided to use City Hall since nobody ever seems to be there anyway. May the Flying Spaghetti Monster touch the city of Salem with his Noodly goodness. RAmen! ... does this iPhone make me look fat? ..........."