Planet Calamari Zazzle shop


New Years Eve Celebration
at the Casino Calamari

Yes... YOU....You Are Invited!

New Years Eve Extravaganza
at the
Casino Calamari

Friday 12/31/10

7:00 pm - ?

Music by our stranded guest Jimmy Buffet and the Coral Reefer Band
back up vocals by
the Pooses for Peace

Niptini Fountain
All you can eat buffet... tuna, ham, cheese, chicken and turkey
birdie toys
mouse souffle

Parrothead attire requested

Wishing you the happiest of New Years
(cos 2010 sucked)


Deja Vu... Jimmy Buffett Stranded Again at wee Salem's Casino Calamari

Unconfirmed sources report that Jimmy Buffett is snowed in.. again ... at the Casino Calamari located in Wee Salem, MA. (Wee Salem has defected from Salem and the Commonwealth of MA to avoid hideous taxation.)

Due to the snow storm that hit New England last night Buffett's tour bus was forced to park in the Salem Ferry Lot as there is a snow emergency parking ban in effect in Salem. ( It seems that every time Mr Buffett visits the Casino Calamari he gets stranded there.) Odd coincidence....

Mayor Kimberley Driscoll is not happy that the Salem Police have been called in.. again .. due to the loud singing and noise coming from the Casino on Christmas night. A birthday party honoring Mr Buffett was given by his close friends, the domestic terrorist feline group known as The Pooses for Peace.

The celebrity cats have been nothing but a thorn in Driscoll's side since she became the mayor of Salem. (Unconfirmed sources say the Mayor is miffed she was not invited to the party again due to her poor fashion sense and her refusal to wear a coconut bra with the mandatory parrot head grass skirt instead of her ill fitting signature black suit.)

Cats wearing coconut bras, grass skirts and leis invited the police to join the party. Several of the cats had parrots perched on their tiaras. Mayor Kimberly Driscoll denies all reports of Salem Police drinking margaritas and sporting grass skirts with coconut bras. (The mayor is concerned that the Salem Police have already had enough bad press due to the You-Tube incidents that happened near Halloween a few years ago.)

At this time the music and noise continues at the Casino Calamari. Un-manned police cars are still parked outside the Casino. The neighbors who filed the complaint have since been seen wearing orchid leis over their parkas, while drinking margaritas and dancing in the snow.

Sing along with Jimmy and the Pooses for Peace favorite winter song... Boat Drinks


Merry Christmas and Happy Buffettmas!

Happy Birthday Jimmy Buffett!
Today is a Pastafarian Holy Day.

Tonight at the Casino Calamari

Jimmy Buffett and the Coral Reefer Pooses

All you can drink margaritas and shots of tequila!
Poose buffet of ham, tuna and cat nip brownies
Bring your own parrothead attire

plan to be snowed in!


Happy Festivus for the Rest of Us!

We invite everyone to our Festivus Celebration at the Casino Calamari tonight. We will be putting up our pole at 5:00 pm followed by the reciting of the List of Grievances and then the Strengths of Feat.

The cast of Seinfeld will be there to party with us! We will be serving a Festivus holiday meal of tuna, ham and turkey with Nip-tinis and margaritas for all,

Wishing everyone a Festivus Miracle!

the pooses for peace




Chaos and disruption occurred today during the Senate's vote to move forward on a a two-year extension of the Bush tax cuts for the we can only live with 5 houses, 2 yachts, 3 lear jets and 10 designer cars greedy bastard rich wealthiest Americans who are so rich they can afford a team of lawyers to make sure they don't pay any taxes.

During the vote, jumping from out of the rafters of the Senate chamber, crawling out from underneath chairs and tables, appeared hordes of cats, dogs, skunks and a few wolves all wearing Che Guevara berets that immediately on command by a cat wearing a tiara, launched into a Bite & Run Attack as well as a Poop & Run Attack followed by the ever popular Poot & Run Attack.

The only ones spared from the attack were the eight senators stood against the deal: Republican John Ensign (R-Nev.); Democrats Jeff Bingaman (N.M.), Sherrod Brown (Ohio), Russ Feingold Gillibrand (N.Y.), Pat Leahy (Vt.) and Mark Udall (Colo.); and Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.), who spoke for hours against the bill on Friday. Unconfirmed sources saw a cat wearing a tiara laying in Bernie Sanders lap and purring during the entire escapade.

All senators who were bit are in stable condition in an undisclosed hospital. Some are suffering from bites to the knee, ankle and private parts and severe scratches while others are having allergic reactions to the fur and dander. Unconfirmed sources report that many of the Senators who were to receive pain medication or allergy meds were handed Flintstones Vitamins instead by what appeared to be cats wearing scrubs. However a nurse at the hospital has confirmed that there were no cats allowed in the hospital and the medication had probably taken effect. She was seen later wearing a new diamond watch with matching earrings.

Many of the senators have reported missing their iPhones, iPods, watches, keys to their Escalades, Mercedes and lear jets. Others are missing earrings, bracelets and credit cards.

A biohazard team has been brought in to fumigate the room.

Authorities were unable to capture any of the animals at the scene nor were any of the security cameras working inside the Senate chambers today. It is believed this is the work of the domestic terrorist group known as the Pooses for Peace. This group is led by celebrity cats who are known for their liberal stance and their distaste for greed and anyone who wears fur. The cats have been supportive to President Obama up until this recent incident. No suspects have been named yet. A press conference will be held shortly.

No comment from the White House has been made.

Zevo hussein Calamari, founder of the Pooses for Peace released a statement today "What Senate? What taxes? I don't ever pay taxes. Does this watch make me look fat?" Ack ... pass me that flask of tequila.. the taste of greed is disgusting.....


Merry Zappadan!

Tis the season of
Zappadan December 4th through December 21

We pooses are all way to young to remember Frank Zappa. However, Zappadan is a very important holiday according to our pet human.

Frank Zappa was born in the very same hospital as our pet human ...and passed away on her birthday in 1993. (She took it personal...and needless to say she was very excited to hear that others dedicated a season to him that starts on her birthday)

The festival of Zappadan runs from the date of Frank's death, 12/4, through the date of his birth, 12/21. We did not make this up!

We would like to invite everyone to celebrate Zappadan at the Casino Calamari for the entire season.

Bring your own dental floss, and we will provide entertainment, munchies and of course tequila.

Oh... and a happy birthday to our pet human. (We think she would like this quote too!)

“I never set out to be weird. It was always other people who called me weird.”
Frank Zappa


Happy Birthday Nubi wan Kenobi!

It is Nubi wan Kenobi's birthday. ....Famed Jedi Knight,
member of the Pooses for Peace
and bodyguard to Meezer Ex-presidential candidate Cheysuli.

A birthday party will be held on the Forest Moon of Endor tonight.
Music by the Cantina Band

Star Wars attire is required.
Bring your own light saber.

Space shuttle leaves from the Salem Ferry lot at noon.

May the Force be with you!