Zevo Calamari & Friends

Happy Year of the Black Water Dragon!

2012-01-23T07:21:00.002-05:00

Come celebrate the Chinese New Year of the Dragon with us.

Confucius say "It is good fortune to dance with cat"

Casino Calamari
(Our new DC location)

Monday January 23, 2012

1:00 pm- 3:00 am

Open bar includes Ginseng Nip-tini's, Mai Tais, Corona and Jose Cuervo Red.

Cat nip fortune cookies! Plenty of good take out Chinese Food!

The Lion Dance will be performed by The Kung Poose Dancing Troupe, mostly made up of Pooses for Peace members.

Gung Hay Fat Choy!
Please wear red for good fortune.
Bring your own chop sticks.

Congress.. don't make us bite you... again!

2012-01-18T19:44:00.001-05:00

Click here to sign the petition and learn more!

Its the Zevo Calamari New Years Eve Gala!

2011-12-31T19:09:00.003-05:00

Yes... YOU....You Are Invited!

The New Years Eve Extravaganza
at the
Casino Calamari
(our new DC location)
Saturday 12/31/11

7:00 pm - ?

Music by Jimmy Buffet and the Coral Reefer Band
with back up vocals by
Zevo hussein Calamari and the Pooses for Peace

Niptini Fountain
All you can eat buffet... tuna, ham, cheese, chicken and turkey
birdie toys
mouse souffle

Parrothead attire requested

Wishing you the happiest of New Years

Free Parking at our new DC location!
And
No worries about any mayors in ill fitting black suits calling the police this year!

Surprise Bite & Run Attack on Capitol Hill Today

2011-12-22T18:19:00.003-05:00

WASHINGTON—Congressional leaders reached an agreement Thursday to temporarily extend a payroll-tax cut by two months and begin negotiations on a yearlong extension, aides said. Congress has been deadlocked all week after ~~greedy bastard~~ House Republicans insisted on a one-year extension.

Aides said House Speaker John Boehner (R, Ohio) agreed to hold a new vote Friday on extending the tax cut to end an impasse that threatened to leave workers with a tax increase next year. Sources report the decision came immediately after a horde of cats wearing tiaras and Occupy Wall Street bedazzled shirts attacked many members of Congress in a surprise Bite & Run Attack.

Screams of agony, sneezing and gagging filled the room along with an unknown odor thought to be biological warfare. All injured congressmen were taken to the hospital where it is reported a cat in scrubs and a tiara administered Flintstone vitamins instead of pain medication. Many congressman are reporting that their watches, iPhones and wallets are now missing. A Biohazard unit has been sent into the congressional chambers to eliminate the odor.

Authorities believe this is the work of the infamous domestic tearist group known as the Pooses for Peace. The celebrity cats have been laying low since they moved their headquarters from Salem MA to the DC area. Their legions of the Bite & Run Patrols and Poot & Run have been known to attack dimwitted greedy congressmen in the past. It was reported that the special op forces known as the Poop & Run were also involved in this attack. No proof or evidence was found at the crime scene. All security cameras were taped off with duck tape and toy mice sprinkled with cat nip. A few bottles of tequila and one Manolo shoe were also found at the scene.

Pooses for Peace Spokes-poose Zevo hussein Calamari issued a statement which seemed to be filmed on a pirate ship. "What out for the 99% you bumbling idiots! And what is with John Boehner's hair and fake tan? Ack ack the taste of greed and bad cologne! Pass me that tequila Captain Jack. Does this iPhone make me look fat.... like Dah!... where is my other shoe?"

Merry Zappadan

2011-12-03T23:58:00.000-05:00

Tis the season of
Zappadan December 4th through December 21

We pooses are all way to young to remember Frank Zappa. However, Zappadan is a very important holiday according to our pet human.

Frank Zappa was born in the very same hospital as our pet human ...and passed away on her birthday in 1993. (She took it personal...and needless to say she was very excited to hear that others dedicated a season to him that starts on her birthday)

The festival of Zappadan runs from the date of Frank's death, 12/4, through the date of his birth, 12/21. We did not make this up!

We would like to invite everyone to celebrate Zappadan at the Casino Calamari for the entire season.

Bring your own dental floss, and we will provide entertainment, munchies and of course tequila.

Oh... and a happy birthday to our pet human. (We think she would like this quote too!)

“I never set out to be weird. It was always other people who called me weird.”
Frank Zappa

Happy Birthday Nubi wan Kenobi!

2011-12-03T00:01:00.000-05:00

It is Nubi wan Kenobi's birthday. ....Famed Jedi Knight,
member of the Pooses for Peace
and bodyguard to Meezer Ex-presidential candidate Cheysuli.

A birthday party will be held on the Forest Moon of Endor tonight.
Music by the Cantina Band

Star Wars attire is required.
Bring your own light saber.

Space shuttle leaves from Dulles Airport at noon.

Countdown to Zappadan

2011-11-30T18:10:00.002-05:00

Zappadan

If you are wondering what Zappadan is click here to read about the very first Zappadan of 2008

Celebrate Cyber Monday on Planet Calamari!

2011-11-27T22:53:00.004-05:00

On Planet Calamari there are no long lines, snarky sales clerks snapping their gum while texting, and absolutely no threat of being pepper sprayed! Shop in your pjs while sipping a glass of wine. Your cats will be happy you stayed home with them!

Free shipping on Cyber Monday. Use code CYBERMONDAY11 when checking out.
Click here to visit the Planet Calamari Etsy Shoppe

Happy Thanksgiving !

2011-11-23T00:01:00.000-05:00

Pooses for Peace Yacht Spotted in DC

2011-11-06T19:26:00.004-05:00

Associated Press
Washington DC

Unconfirmed sources have reported seeing a yacht commandeered by the infamous Pooses for Peace docked in the DC waters near Alexandria Virginia over the weekend. Rumors are flying that the feline celebrities have moved their headquarters from Salem MA to the DC to monitor upcoming elections and to keep close tabs on ~~the dim-witted~~ congress now in session.

DC Authorities and Homeland Security have been alerted. No one has spotted the cats since they left Salem over a month ago. It has been reported that Mayor Kim Driscoll and her ill fitting black suit threw a party at City Hall when hearing the cats had vacated Salem for good. The mayor's iPhone and watch have been missing since the event. However Salem police believe the goods were stolen by the carnies who worked the ~~tacky~~ Halloween carnival.

Spokes-poose Zevo hussein Calamari issued a statement from what appeared to be a cabin down below in a yacht: "Kim who? What iPhone? Does this watch make me look fat? Pass me the wine please. Oh and could someone get Bo Obama on this iphone for me? "

Happy Blog Blast for Peace Day!

2011-11-04T00:05:00.000-04:00

Tarot Readings by Madam Zevo Calamari

2011-10-29T14:34:00.003-04:00

Grand Opening of Madam Zevo Calamari's Psychic Center of DC

Tarot Readings
Palm and Paw Readings
Magic Spells and Potions

Party with the Mistress of Magic & the Pooses for Peace
to celebrate their new headquarters!

Halloween Night
7:00 pm - ?

The Casino Calamari of DC
(we moved out of salem for good!)

Costumes mandatory
Margarita Fountain
All you can eat tuna, chicken and ham buffett
cat nip brownies

Music Guest
Jimmy Buffet and the Coral Poose Reefer Band

Adios Salem Fiesta

2011-09-22T07:37:00.004-04:00

You are invited to the party of the decade!

Say Good Bye to Salem
with the Pooses for Peace

Adios Salem Fiesta
Casino Calamari
wee Salem
Friday 9/23- Friday 9/30

Special Guests
Jimmy Buffett and the Coral Reefer Band

Margarita Fountain
All you can eat chicken, tuna and ham buffet
Nip brownies

Dress code:
Parrothead attire
Bring your own coconut bra & grass skirt
no black suits allowed!

We are going to party like its 1999!

Arrrgh It's Talk Like A Pirate Day!

2011-09-19T07:00:00.000-04:00

It is a Holy Day for all Pastafarians ( devotees of the Flying Spaghetti Monster) today. May you be blessed by his Noodly Appendage. Ramen!

All pooses are invited to our private party at Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Special guest...... Captain Jack Sparrow! Be ready to swoon.

Please wear your patch and pirate attire.

Arrrrrrrrrr Arrrrrrrrrr shiver me timbers.. there will be plenty rum for all.. arrrrrrrrr

Sing along with us!
YO HO (A PIRATE'S LIFE FOR ME)
Lyrics by Xavier Atencio and music by George Bruns

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We pillage, we plunder, we rifle, and loot,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot,
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We extort, we pilfer, we filch, and sack,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
Maraud and embezzle, and even high-jack,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We kindle and char, inflame and ignite,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
We burn up the city, we're really a fright,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

We're rascals, scoundrels, villans, and knaves,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
We're devils and black sheep, really bad eggs,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We kindle and char, inflame and ignite,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
We burn up the city, we're really a fright,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

We're rascals, scoundrels, villans, and knaves,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
We're devils and black sheep, really bad eggs,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We're beggars and blighters, ne'er-do-well cads,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
Aye, but we're loved by our mommies and dads,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

Security Beefed Up In Salem Protecting the Friendship

2011-09-18T19:31:00.005-04:00

Associated Press
Salem MA

On the eve of Talk Like A Pirate Day , Salem's Mayor Kim Driscoll has requested the city of Boston for extra police coverage for the tall ship known as The Friendship. (Salem police were too busy guarding manholes on Bridge Street this weekend to protect the ship.)

Driscoll along with her ill fitting black suit and city officials are worried that the domestic terrorist cats known as the Pooses for Peace may commandeer the ship (again) along with their BFF, Captain Jack Sparrow. The shipped disappeared last year and the pirate cats were blamed, although no proof was found.

The cats are Pastafarians, devotees of the Flying Spaghetti Monster . Talk Like A Pirate Day is a Pastafarian Holy day and all those who worship the Noodley deity must wear pirate regalia, eat pasta and drink rum or red wine.

In past years the cats and Captain Jack Sparrow walked in the Haunted Happenings Parade causing an uproar and much needed excitement during the boring parade. Driscoll has declared that this year she will not be upstaged (again) by the cats. The word on the street is that the cats will be boycotting this year's parade and are moving to the DC area in order to be closer to the shady politics and lack of action by those pretending to be a part of the weanie congress (both sides!).

Zevo hussein Calamari, mayor of Wee Salem issued a statement " Um... like... Kim who, Where is DC? ? What ship? Does this pirate hat make me look fat? Pass the rum... arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh"

Pooses for Peace Moving Headquarters to.... DC area?

2011-09-12T18:25:00.001-04:00

BREAKING NEWS!

Unconfirmed sources report that the celebrity feline group known as the Pooses for Peace will be moving their headquarters close to the DC area at the end of this month.

Known as a domestic liberal terrorist group the cats have been laying low for the past year since one of their leaders Miss Boo went into hiding from Homeland Security. Authorities believe she is living on a private island with her lover Captain Jack Sparrow. Their only activities lately seem to be commandeering the tall ship in Salem known as the Friendship and tormenting Mayor Kim Driscoll and her ill fitting black suit whenever possible.

With the 2012 election approaching and the useless members of Congress (greedy bastards and morons on both sides) the cats feel it is necessary to step up Bite & Run activities and play an active role in getting things done.

Moving boxes, vans and limos have been seen frequenting the Casino Calamari this past week located in wee Salem. The cats claimed this territory a self proclaimed country which seceded from the city of Salem and Commonwealth of MA over a dispute during the last mayorial election when Zevo hussein Calamari won over Mayor Kim Driscoll. However the city did not recognize the votes by the animal citizens of Salem and Driscoll declared herself a victorious winner. (Even though the only other candidate was a homeless man who recieved 20% of the votes!)

The citizens of Salem are distraught that the celebrity cats are not only leaving, but will be closing many of their businesses in the area such as the Casino Calamari, Cinema Calamari, The Holy Spaghetti Factory, The church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, A Costume shop, Ice rink , Tarot & Paw reading place and a few other questionable operations such as the rumored Brothel Calamari.

In the past years celebrities and hordes of cats poured into Salem the first week of October for the Haunted Happenings parade to march along side the celebrity cats. This boosted business for every cafe, bar and restaurant in the area and Salem's economy. Celebrities such as Nicole Kidman, George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Oprah, Cher and countless others marched in the parade with the cats and their BFF Captain Jack Sparrow. Later paparazzi and celebrities were seen at local hotspots, shops and having their palms read.

This year there will be no celebrities or Pooses for Peace fans to contribute to the newly raised hotel and restaurant taxes along with the hiked parking rates thus adding more stress to the City of Salem's debt.

The cats were also blamed for the appearance of the Flying Spaghetti Monster in the past few parades and the mayor's craving for pasta since... click here if you don't remember!

Mayor Kim Driscoll and her black suit released a statement this morning: "These cats and their cohorts are a menace to society. The city of Salem will survive without the millions of dollars they bring in each year. I have hired a consultant to research the impact of this situation and taxes will only need to be raised a little bit (50%) more to compensate for this loss. We will be putting an Uber Walmart with a Fiesta Show Carnival in the so called wee Salem territory which will attract the type of citizens we really want living here in this maritime tourist destination. And as I have said in the past, I can only hope that it starts to rain around 8:30 pm on Halloween night. These damn witches are a pain in the ....Ouch....... oh MY gawd what is that smell? OOOOOOOOOO my ankles, my new black suit.. aaaaaah...."

Pooses for Peace Stowaways on Friendship Bound to NY?

2011-08-07T19:51:00.012-04:00

Associate Press
Salem MA

BREAKING NEWS...DOMESTIC TERRORIST CATS BELIEVED TO BE STOWAWAYS ON THE TALL SHIP FRIENDSHIP BOUND FOR NYC

The domestic terrorist group known as the Pooses for Peace are believed to be stowaways on the tall ship known as the Friendship this evening. It's destination is NYC where the famed cat burglars may be planning one more heist at the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

Mayor Kimberly Driscoll attended the ceremony in her predictable ill fitting black suit. Being caught off guard she was not wearing ankle (or shall we say cankle) or knee guards and is said to be nursing an ankle bite by a mysterious cat wearing a tiara that ran onto the ship. Other cats wearing tiaras, pirate hats and a dog wearing a Che Guevara beret were also spotted running up the ramp unto the shp.

The mayor is in stable condition. Her suit however is covered in grey fur and has several tears. No witnesses were available to identify the so called cat. The mayor has lost credibility with many of the locals of Salem except for the ones who unfortunately drank the dreaded Driscoll- laced coffee served at the Chamber of Commerce meetings.

Unconfirmed sources report that the celebrity cats have been laying low for several months planning for this opportunity. The cats are said to be moving their Bite & Run headquarters out of Salem MA soon to an undisclosed area in the Baltimore/DC area. It is said the cats are tired of the shenanigans happening in Congress and on Capitol Hill and plan to have a presence in when congress returns from their vacation. And they are totally bored with the petty small politics of Salem.

Captain Jack Sparrow, friend and accomplis to the celebrity cats was seen walking through Salem yesterday at the Maritime festival. Authorities believe he is also aboard the Friendship this evening. Homeland security and the FBI have been alerted.

Zevo hussein Calamari, spokespoose for the renegade operation issued a press statement from what appeared to be a bunk in a ship: " It was like totally so cool that everyone was waving white hankies today. Kimmie who? I have a foul taste of politiican in my mouth. Please pass that rum, Jack. Thanks hon."

In Memory of Boudreaux the Magi

2011-06-28T20:58:00.002-04:00

We are heartbroken to bring you this sad news of our dear friend and comrade, Boudreax the Magi who passed away a few weeks ago while Planet Calamari was in retrograde. We were unable to post on this blog.

A memorial service and wake was held at the Casino Calamari in honor of this Magi and brave member of the Pooses for Peace. He was the Magi who predicted the birth of the komodo dragons to a virgin dragon on St Stephen's Day.

Boudreaux had special psychic abilities, spoke 4 languages ( one of them being the very difficult Giant Pink Snail language) and was also a great dancer. He was employed as a full time greeter at his pet human's acupuncture office. Loved by all, He is survived by his pet human, Padre Don who is also psychic, speaks several languages and also dances. Padre Don will be holding a formal Jazz wake and ceremony in the fall.

Meanwhile Boudreaux is now up to be cannonized as a saint. He has already performed several miracles that the Pope and Vatican refuse to recognize. However we believe that any Pope that wears red Prada shoes is a fake.

Pope Nubius the Jedi of Our Lady of Perpetual Squids will be performing the cannonization this fall. Holy cards, relics and candles will be available to devotees.

St Boudreaux is the patron of compassion, humor and self employed acupuncturists. May he rest in peace. We love you dear boy and may your spirit be with us always. Love to your sweet human, Don.
xoxoxo
love
The Pooses for Peace

Happy Towel Day!

2011-05-25T00:01:00.000-04:00

from Wikipedia
towelday

"Towel Day is celebrated every May 25 as a tribute by fans of the late author Douglas Adams. The commemoration was first held in 2001, two weeks after his death on May 11, 2001. On this day, fans carry a towel with them during the day to demonstrate their participation and mourning of the author. The towel is a reference to Adams's popular science fiction comedy series The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy."

In honor of Douglas Adams we will be wearing our towels all day and reciting passages from his books.

A Vogon Poetry reading will begin in a sound proof room at 8:00 pm.

Tonight Cinema Calamari will be showing the movie The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. All pooses are invited.

We will be serving Pangalactic Gargleblasters and mice crepes. Please bring your own towel.
So long Douglas and thanks for all the fish!
xoxoxo

Feliz Cinco de Mayo

2011-05-05T00:00:00.000-04:00

musica!
tacos!

tequila!!!!!!!!

Fiesta de esta noche con los Gatos de la Paz!
(party tonight with the pooses for peace!)

Suarez Family Arrives at the Casino Calamari

2011-05-04T20:09:00.002-04:00

Associated Press
wee Salem MA

The Suarez family arrived at the Casino Calamari today to begin preparations for the Cinco de Mayo Fiesta. The family had so much fun at last year's event they decided to cook for it again.

Ignacio Suarez aka Poppy, father of Betty and Hilda will be cooking for the fiesta. (Ham enchiladas were requested by Cheysuli and her Meezer friends). Other Mexican entrees such as tuna-dillas, flan con nip de gato and pollo tacos will be served at the party.

A margarita fountain has been donated by Jimmy Buffett for the event. Salma Hayek will be loaning costumes from the movie Frida to celebrity cats Zevo Calamari, Smudge and Miss Lucy Fur and several of their close friends.

Che Nikki, Luna Miso Poosie, Monkay Hussein and Nubi wan Kenobi will be singing back up vocals with Jimmy Buffett.

Ugly Betty ponchos will also be available for cats and dogs to wear to the fiesta.

Salem Mayor Kimberly Driscoll has called in for extra police units for back up on Thursday's event. The cats and the mayor have a long history of not seeing eye to eye on holiday festivities. The mayor has been invited to the fiesta on the condition that she dress in traditional Mexican attire, with red lipstick, a uni-brow and she must ditch the black suit. No response has been given by the mayor's office as of today on her plans. Parking is free for all Pooses for Peace members in the underground parking facility at the Casino. ( The mayor will have to find her own parking!)

Pooses for Peace Snubbed by Royal Couple?

2011-04-28T23:32:00.002-04:00

Rumors are flying that the celebrity cats known as the Pooses for Peace were not invited to the Royal Wedding. The cats have been a thorn in Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth's side for encouraging her royal corgis to run off to San Diego with them.

Unconfirmed sources believe that the cats and their entourage are already in London and will make a surprise entrance during the ceremony.

We will keep you up to date with the latest news, fashions and more during the Royal Wedding live broadcast.......

Paris Prepares for Zevomas

2011-04-12T09:21:00.003-04:00

Associated Press
Paris France

Celebrities and hordes of cats, dogs, skunks and other creatures have been streaming into Paris this week for the extravaganza of the year, Zevo hussein Calamari's 18th birthday.

Celebrations have already begun as the celebrity cats known as the Pooses for Peace rented the entire Ritz Carlton Hotel of Paris for their entourage and friends. Mizz Lucy Fur, Miss Smudge, Nubi wan Kenobi, Luna miso Poosie and Monkay Hussein have been in Paris since the weekend planning the festivities. Other famous felines such as Cheysuli, the Meezers, Miss Daisy along with the infamous Che Nikki the schnauzer (and oh so many more that we just don't have the time or chi to mention or do the html needed) have been spotted sipping wine at cafes along the streets of Paris. Unconfirmed sources have reported seeing the Zevos BFF, Miss Boo snogging with Captain Jack Sparrow at the Ritz. Miss Boo is still wanted by Homeland Security and has been staying in Switzerland for the past year.

The birthday celebration will be held at the Moulin Rouge on Thursday evening. Rumors are flying about that Nicole Kidman and Ewan McGregor will be performing a few musical numbers from the movie that evening.

A pre-birthday party will be held at the Louvre on Wednesday evening by invitation only for all members, legions and friends of the Pooses for Peace. Live coverage of this event will take place with Oprah hosting.

All attendees are asked to wear tiaras and top hats.

BREAKING NEW..... BITE & RUN ON CAPITAL HILL....

2011-04-08T07:35:00.003-04:00

AP
Associated Pres
Washington DC

THIS JUST IN........ HORDES OF CATS... DOGS... SKUNKS .... A LONE WOLF INVOLVED IN A BITE & RUN ATTACK ON CAPITOL HILL...

Unconfirmed sources say the attack began as Speaker John Boehner, R-Ohio and the GOP threatened to shut down the government while holding the hostage the Arts, Women's Rights, Healthcare, National Parks and Zoos during the latest meeting on Capitol Hill.

It is reported that cats wearing berets and bedazzled Planned Poosehood t-shirts, dogs in berets donning Pooses for PBS tees and a lone wolf wearing a Yellowstone baseball hat sprang from the rafters, windows, and heating ducts. Sources believe the skunks were naked. As the attack ensued, screams, sneezes and gags were heard all over Washington DC in the early morning waking the Obama children, the homeless of DC and hung over pundits.

Not one republican ankle, knee or private area was spared. A few spineless democrats were also nipped and scratched. All victims have been transported to an undisclosed hospital and are said to be in stable condition. However an unidentified nurse at the hospital claims to have seen a cat wearing a tiara and designer scrubs switch the injured senators' pain meds with Flintstone vitamins. The nurse was given the day off with no pay.

A biohazard team has been brought in to the Capitol building to remove the stench. An order to burn all shoes and stogy suits from the Mens Warehouse has been given since most were covered in an eco friendly gift that keeps on giving. Senators have reported their iPads, iPhones, blackberrys, wallets and rolex watches are missing.

A press conference will be held today at noon. There are no suspects as there is no evidence available. All security cameras at the Capitol building were mysteriously turned off.

Authorities believe this is the work of the infamous liberal feline domestic group, the Pooses for Peace. Known for their legions of Bite & Run brigades as well as the Poop & Run Patrol and lest anyone forget the Poot & Run covert forces.

The cats have been inactive in the past few months, confusing authorities and their fans. Some believe they have been planning a surprise attack for this week to start off the holiday season of Zevomas. It was perfect timing that the GOP decided to hold the government hostage.
Leader of the pack, Zevo hussein Calamari's birthday is next Thursday and is usually celebrated in Paris, France. Her cohorts and entourage are said to be planning a party at the Moulin Rouge.

Miss Calamari released a statement early this morning from what appeared to a dressing room at a Paris boutique. "Ackkkkk the taste of greed and stupidity. Tell me who is the terrorist? That pack of greedy bastards who are holding the government hostage over womens' rights, arts and national parks should be sent to Gitmo with no pay! Pass that Pastis please... accckkk.... Does this tiara make me look fat? More pastis now........Oh yes- i will take this pair of shoes and that rack of Versace. You can use this credit card... Socre blu"

Happy Saint Patty's Day

2011-03-16T18:59:00.004-04:00

Come join the Pooses for Peace
at Hamburger O' Marys (located inside Casino O'Calamari's)
in Wee Salem for a St Patty's Day party.

Thursday 3/17/11
5:00 pm-?

Wear Green
Bring your own tiaras and shamrocks

Tickets are still available for this event.
Call 1-800-NIP-ZEVO

Free parking for all Wee Salem Residents and guest of the Casino

May the Tuna dish rise up to meet you,
Zevo O' Calamari and the Pooses O'Peace

Bite & Run Attack in Wisconsin in Progress...

2011-03-10T20:51:00.002-05:00

BREAKING NEWS..... Bite & Run Attack In Progress .... Scott Walker & GOP Senators Bit...... Terrorist Liberal Cats Blamed....... Pooses for Peace seen in Wisconsin with Michael Moore..... details to follow................

Happy Year of the Wabbit

2011-02-03T00:03:00.000-05:00

Come celebrate the Chinese New Year of the Wabbit with us.

Confucius say "It is good fortune to dance with cat"

Casino Calamari

Thursday 2/3/11

3:00 pm- 3:00 am

Open bar includes Ginseng Nip-tini's, Mai Tais, Corona and Jose Cuervo Red.

Cat nip fortune cookies! Plenty of good take out Chinese Food!

The Lion Dance will be performed by The Kung Poose Dancing Troupe, mostly made up of Pooses for Peace members.

Special Guest
Bugs Bunny

Please wear red for good fortune! Bring your own chop sticks.
We will be playing Bugs Bunny Cartoons all day at Cinema Calamari

Gung Hay Fat Choy

Surprise Birthday Party for Keith O!!!!!!!

2011-01-27T00:00:00.000-05:00

It's Keith Theodore (yes Theodore) Olbermann's birthday today! And we are throwing him a surprise party tonight at the Casino Calamari.

You are invited to celebrate with Keith O and the Pooses for Peace tonight. It will be the launch party for the Pooses for Peace Broadcasting network too. Featuring new TV shows for intelligent pooses and people, staring presidential candidate Cheysuli, diva Miss Lucy Fur, Those crazy Meezer boys, Zevo hussein Calamari, Monkay Hussein and many more. (and yes we are way to lazy to html everyone's links in tonight- so sorry.)

And Happy Birthday to Smudge and Miss Boo's Pet human too!!!!!!!!

Party begins at 7:00 pm
shhhh.. it's a surprise!
bring your own tiara
all you can eat buffet and tequila jello shots
Nip-tinis and nip brownies

Pirate Cats Launch TV Network Debuting Keith Olbermann...

2011-01-23T17:49:00.004-05:00

Associated Press

Unconfirmed sources report the the domestic terrorist feline group known as the Pooses for Peace have just launched a pirate TV and radio broadcasting system called PFP, the Pooses for Peace Broadcast Network.

Authorities are uncertain where the origin of the signal could be. Some believe it is coming from Mexico. Others believe Cuba. One official believes it may be coming from the recently defected country known as wee Salem, once a part of the Commonwealth of MA and the city of Salem MA.

Rumors that Keith Olbermann is now preparing to launch his own TV show on the PFP network is circulating. Keith O is said to be friends with the celebrity cats and may be dating the infamous Zevo hussein Calamari.

At this time Keith O and the Pooses for Peace have not returned calls or made any comments. Residents of Salem MA have reported seeing Olbermann and Captain Jack Sparrow walking down Derby Street early today.

More wiki-leaks about the mysterious cat formerly known as Toi and then later leaked as Miss Mao, is really known as Smudge and is not French, despite her smoking habit and pencil skirt. Nor is she Chinese despite her Mao posters. Smudge is a native American shaman cat with healing abilities and magic powers. We can only hope that when Miss Boo returns from her hiding from the authorities, the two will be BFFs.

Keith Olbermann Spotted at Casino Calamari in wee Salem

2011-01-22T18:59:00.004-05:00

Associated Press
Salem MA

Unconfirmed sources report that Keith Olbermann has been spotted entering the Casino Calamari of wee Salem MA this morning. Rumors have surfaced that Keith O has sought the comfort of his friends the Pooses for Peace, and perhaps lover...Zevo hussein Calamari after quitting ~~being fired by the greedy right wing neocon bastards of Comcast~~ from MSNBC yesterday.

There is speculation that Olbermann may run as VP with presidential candidate Cheysuli in 2012. The Pooses for Peace, a liberal faction sometimes known as domestic terrorists have already supported this ticket. Nubi wan Kenobi has once again offered his services to Miss Cheysuli as a bodyguard. Rumors that the legions of Bite Patrol are on red alert tonight. Security at Comcast and NBC has been tightened.

A birthday party for Keith O is now in the works at the Casino Calamari. The celebrity cats will be announcing details later in the week. Paparazzi has been flocking to Salem all day. Mayor Kimberley Driscoll has sent out for more police units and asked for assistance from the Boston police. Driscoll is concerned the celebrity cats will take the attention away from her, and her ill fitting black suit this week.

Zevo hussein Calamari has released a statement this evening. " Which party? Or should i say Witch party? We are in Salem!".... Keith darling, pass the Strega please.

Charo Returns to Casino Calamari

2011-01-15T10:41:00.003-05:00

She's back!

Charo will be performing (again) tonight at the Casino Calamari to celebrate her 60th birthday. It will be an evening of tacky entertainment for all thanks to Nubi wan Kenobi who signed a contract with Charo a few years ago! click here if you don't remember

Cuchi Cuchi!
Wear something outrageous
Tapas buffett
Sangria fountain
Plenty of Spanish nip

Wiki Leaks Reveal Toi's Real Name... Miz Mao

2011-01-11T19:18:00.003-05:00

Is Toi, the so called French poose who now resides at Miss Boo's home while she is away a Chinese spy? Wiki-leaks has revealed that her real name is Miz Mao aka Smudgey Mao.

No comment has been made from the domestic terrorist group known as the Pooses for Peace as of this latest leak.

Unconfirmed sources report that the cats are busy preparing for (another) blizzard blow out party at their famed Casino Calamari this week. Salem authorities are on alert. The snow emergency ban is on- The celebrity cats have parked their solar powered limos in the Salem Ferry Lot along with their lear jet and Jimmy Buffett's bus. Chinese food has been seen being delivered to the Casino.............

PLEASE STOP THE MADNESS!

2011-01-09T17:55:00.004-05:00

Sending healing thoughts to all those who were brutally shot down on Saturday in AZ. We will be lighting candles tonight for all those who were victims and their families.

This madness needs to stop. We feel that the so called Christians such as Sarah Palin, Glen Beck, Rush, and Bill O need to step back. Stop the fear mongering. Stop the lies. Take back your words of hate. You are all to blame for this shameless act. It is time to start mending this country and stop trying to incite acts of bigotry and hate. Time to play nice. Grow up.

Our dear friend Keith O has eloquently put into words how we feel.

Be nice!
the Pooses for Peace

Rest In Peace, Dearest Princess Guacamole

2011-01-04T23:25:00.008-05:00

It is with a heavy heart that we share this very sad news.

Princess Guacamole aka Mary Alice, one of our dearest human friends, supporter and honorary member of the Pooses for Peace has passed away over the rainbow.

We would like to celebrate her life and honor her as the rock star that she really was. It is sad that her extraordinary sense of humor and unique view of life was not appreciated by the masses, muggles and snooty ones of the planet.

Princess Guacamole was a connoisseur of cheesecake, chocolate and of course guacamole. She was a true pastafarian, a devotee of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and a follower of the Dalai Lama. She was an acupuncturist, herbalist, mother, hippie.... and above all she was an enlightened comedian.

She commented regularly on our blog and even gave us tips on who should be featured in a Bite & Run. She was the brilliant mind who introduced the concept of the ever popular Pooses for Peace Poop & Run Brigade. And thanks to her we are now BFF with Captain Jack Sparrow!

Please join us this weekend celebrating the life and laughter of Princess Guacamole.
This is the Wake of all Wakes!

Casino Calamari
Saturday noon- Monday noon

Special guests:
Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
Stevie Nicks
Captain Jack Sparrow
Jon Stewart & Stephen Cobert
Al Gore

Food will be flown in from around the globe!
All you can eat buffet of Cheesecake, Chocolate, Guacamole
Authentic Mexican Comida for all
Indian Curry Buffet
The Holy Spaghetti Factory's Fettucini Alfredo Buffet

and a 12 foot long organic raw veggie and fruit salad bar

Margarita Fountain
Wine, Strega and Carrot Juice
Coconut smoothies

Thank you dear Princess Guacamole for all your love, laughter and snarky comments. May you be at peace and out of pain dearest friend. We are sure you are now sipping rum and nibbling cheesecake with an Angel resembling Captain Jack Sparrow somewhere on a fluffy cloud.

We will miss you.
Love
The Pooses for Peace and all of us at Planet Calamari

New Years Eve Celebration at the Casino Calamari

2010-12-30T23:57:00.004-05:00

Yes... YOU....You Are Invited!

New Years Eve Extravaganza
at the
Casino Calamari
Friday 12/31/10

7:00 pm - ?

Music by our stranded guest Jimmy Buffet and the Coral Reefer Band
with back up vocals by
the Pooses for Peace

Niptini Fountain
All you can eat buffet... tuna, ham, cheese, chicken and turkey
birdie toys
mouse souffle

Parrothead attire requested

Wishing you the happiest of New Years
(cos 2010 sucked)

Deja Vu... Jimmy Buffett Stranded Again at wee Salem's Casino Calamari

2010-12-26T14:09:00.001-05:00

Unconfirmed sources report that Jimmy Buffett is snowed in.. again ... at the Casino Calamari located in Wee Salem, MA. (Wee Salem has defected from Salem and the Commonwealth of MA to avoid hideous taxation.)

Due to the snow storm that hit New England last night Buffett's tour bus was forced to park in the Salem Ferry Lot as there is a snow emergency parking ban in effect in Salem. ( It seems that every time Mr Buffett visits the Casino Calamari he gets stranded there.) Odd coincidence....

Mayor Kimberley Driscoll is not happy that the Salem Police have been called in.. again .. due to the loud singing and noise coming from the Casino on Christmas night. A birthday party honoring Mr Buffett was given by his close friends, the domestic terrorist feline group known as The Pooses for Peace.

The celebrity cats have been nothing but a thorn in Driscoll's side since she became the mayor of Salem. (Unconfirmed sources say the Mayor is miffed she was not invited to the party again due to her poor fashion sense and her refusal to wear a coconut bra with the mandatory parrot head grass skirt instead of her ill fitting signature black suit.)

Cats wearing coconut bras, grass skirts and leis invited the police to join the party. Several of the cats had parrots perched on their tiaras. Mayor Kimberly Driscoll denies all reports of Salem Police drinking margaritas and sporting grass skirts with coconut bras. (The mayor is concerned that the Salem Police have already had enough bad press due to the You-Tube incidents that happened near Halloween a few years ago.)

At this time the music and noise continues at the Casino Calamari. Un-manned police cars are still parked outside the Casino. The neighbors who filed the complaint have since been seen wearing orchid leis over their parkas, while drinking margaritas and dancing in the snow.

Sing along with Jimmy and the Pooses for Peace favorite winter song... Boat Drinks

Merry Christmas and Happy Buffettmas!

2010-12-25T00:00:00.001-05:00

Happy Birthday Jimmy Buffett!
Today is a Pastafarian Holy Day.

Tonight at the Casino Calamari

Jimmy Buffett and the Coral Reefer Pooses

All you can drink margaritas and shots of tequila!
Poose buffet of ham, tuna and cat nip brownies
Bring your own parrothead attire

plan to be snowed in!

Happy Festivus for the Rest of Us!

2010-12-23T00:52:00.000-05:00

We invite everyone to our Festivus Celebration at the Casino Calamari tonight. We will be putting up our pole at 5:00 pm followed by the reciting of the List of Grievances and then the Strengths of Feat.

The cast of Seinfeld will be there to party with us! We will be serving a Festivus holiday meal of tuna, ham and turkey with Nip-tinis and margaritas for all,

Wishing everyone a Festivus Miracle!

the pooses for peace

2010-12-13T18:06:00.008-05:00

BREAKING NEWS...... BITE & RUN ATTACK ON SENATE FLOOR... POSSIBLE DOMESTIC TERRORIST... SWAT TEAMS AND BIOHAZARD UNITS ON THE SCENE.......

WASHINGTON --

Chaos and disruption occurred today during the Senate's vote to move forward on a a two-year extension of the Bush tax cuts for the ~~we can only live with 5 houses, 2 yachts, 3 lear jets and 10 designer cars greedy bastard rich~~ wealthiest Americans ~~who are so rich they can afford a team of lawyers to make sure they don't pay any taxes.~~

During the vote, jumping from out of the rafters of the Senate chamber, crawling out from underneath chairs and tables, appeared hordes of cats, dogs, skunks and a few wolves all wearing Che Guevara berets that immediately on command by a cat wearing a tiara, launched into a Bite & Run Attack as well as a Poop & Run Attack followed by the ever popular Poot & Run Attack.

The only ones spared from the attack were the eight senators stood against the deal: Republican John Ensign (R-Nev.); Democrats Jeff Bingaman (N.M.), Sherrod Brown (Ohio), Russ Feingold Gillibrand (N.Y.), Pat Leahy (Vt.) and Mark Udall (Colo.); and Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.), who spoke for hours against the bill on Friday. Unconfirmed sources saw a cat wearing a tiara laying in Bernie Sanders lap and purring during the entire escapade.

All senators who were bit are in stable condition in an undisclosed hospital. Some are suffering from bites to the knee, ankle and private parts and severe scratches while others are having allergic reactions to the fur and dander. Unconfirmed sources report that many of the Senators who were to receive pain medication or allergy meds were handed Flintstones Vitamins instead by what appeared to be cats wearing scrubs. However a nurse at the hospital has confirmed that there were no cats allowed in the hospital and the medication had probably taken effect. She was seen later wearing a new diamond watch with matching earrings.

Many of the senators have reported missing their iPhones, iPods, watches, keys to their Escalades, Mercedes and lear jets. Others are missing earrings, bracelets and credit cards.

A biohazard team has been brought in to fumigate the room.

Authorities were unable to capture any of the animals at the scene nor were any of the security cameras working inside the Senate chambers today. It is believed this is the work of the domestic terrorist group known as the Pooses for Peace. This group is led by celebrity cats who are known for their liberal stance and their distaste for greed and anyone who wears fur. The cats have been supportive to President Obama up until this recent incident. No suspects have been named yet. A press conference will be held shortly.

No comment from the White House has been made.

Zevo hussein Calamari, founder of the Pooses for Peace released a statement today "What Senate? What taxes? I don't ever pay taxes. Does this watch make me look fat?" Ack ... pass me that flask of tequila.. the taste of greed is disgusting.....

Merry Zappadan!

2010-12-04T00:00:00.000-05:00

Tis the season of
Zappadan December 4th through December 21

“I never set out to be weird. It was always other people who called me weird.”
Frank Zappa

Happy Birthday Nubi wan Kenobi!

2010-12-02T00:00:00.000-05:00

Stolen Picasso Paintings ..or were they gifts?

2010-11-29T17:50:00.003-05:00

Pierre Le Guerrec, who supposedly kept 271 previously unknown works by Pablo Picasso in his basement-garage for decades, is now under scrutiny from the artist's heirs. These unknown works by Pablo Picasso, perhaps the premier painter of the 20th century, have come to light after being stored 40 years in the Riviera garage of an electrician who worked at the artist’s villas in the early 1970s.

Le Guerrec has claimed he is innocent and never knew the paintings existed in his basement. He said that he has not been down the basement for years, but last week he heard music coming from the cellar and climbed down to investigate. "Der in de basement were many chats dancing and wearing de bery pretty tiaras. Socre blu! Pastis bottles everywhere too. I zink dat maybe I drank too much wine but NO den I see dat zee chats have many paintings hidden der. I am innoCent. Wei! oh la la"

The canvases date from 1900 to 1932, the artist’s earliest and most fertile period. They include portraits of Picasso’s first cat, Gato, a watercolor from Picasso’s famed “blue cat” period, nine inherently important Cubist collages worth tens of millions, as well as lithographs, drawings, and various studies.

The curator of the National Picasso Museum in Paris, Anne Baldassari, today described the find as “unprecedented.” Neighbors of Le Guerrec claim to have seen a horde of cats wearing berets and tiaras in and out of the home on several occasions in the past. They did not find it unusual. "Zee French cats de dress with style..no? Wei!"

Authorities are now investigating if the infamous cat burglars known as the Pooses for Peace were involved. Miss Boo, who has been awol for a few months now is the lead suspect.

Zevo hussein Calamari issued a statement from what appeared to be a cave "What paintings? Do you have any more of that pastis? Does this beret make me look fat? Oh la la! If you want to invest in some unique art please visit the Planet Calamari Etsy Shop Get 10% off if you use the code TH8NKYOU. Offer ends on December 4th.... another round of wine and cheese please!"

Cyber Monday & Birthday Week 10% Off Sale at Planet Calamari

2010-11-29T00:49:00.000-05:00

It's my pet human's birthday week...
To celebrate we are having a 10% off sale
at the
Planet Calamari Etsy Shop

One of a kind art to wear for that boho cruchy chic look made with love and magic in our Salem MA studio.

Free shipping on most items too.
Sale ends on December 4th

Enter the code TH8NKYOU when checking out to receive your discount.
thank you!
zevo hussein calamari

Black Friday Shopping Spree

2010-11-26T00:00:00.003-05:00

As CEO of Planet Calamari i invite you and your friends (and if you know any celebrities) to visit the Planet Calamari Art Galleria and shop. Offering handcrafted one of a kind art to wear for those who dare to dance to the beat of a bohemian drummer. Recycled Prayer earrings made from vintage rosary beads and sacred baubles. Magical bracelets embellished with antique buttons from Strega Nonna's button tin. Happy Qi fiber art wrist cuffs. Organic t-shirts and more.

Warning! These pieces are not for those who choose to wear clothing or think like Just Say No Nancy Reagan or Wolf Murderer Sarah Palin.
Our unique baubles and arm candy and tees are worn by free thinkers who sometimes dress like Cyndi Lauper, Stevie Nicks, Bette Midler, and Sheryl Crowe.

We would be honored if Iris Apfel would wear some of our wide Happy Qi Cuffs too.

You can shop in your pajamas, your undies, your ratty sweats, wine stained party dress or even naked. We don't care because we can't see you. Nobody will see you. .. except your cat... or d-o-g.

So please don't go to the mall or worse ~~evil and oh so tacky~~ Wal-Mart. Everyone else will be there... buying the same stuff that everyone else is buying. Crowds of cranky people who ate way too much yesterday. No parking. Gum smacking snarky clerks too busy texting their friends to help you. No annoying Brenda Lee singing Rocking Around the Christmas Tree in the background. You can choose your own music to rock out too. Have a glass of wine or an expresso while you shop.

We invite you to shop on a different planet. And with your help i can buy a new tiara.

Actually you need to click here!

thank you
xoxoxoxo
zevo hussein calamari
CEO of Planet Calamari

The First Thanksgiving

2010-11-25T10:27:00.002-05:00

On the first Thanksgiving, the stow-away cats aboard the Mayflower held a feast with the Indian cats who befriended them when they entered this new land. Together they smoked the peace pipe, drank rum and danced to the beat of the native drums.

Unlike their human counterparts, the English pooses remained friends with their new Indian friends and respected their customs and their land.

Today pooses in America celebrate this day with a feast, rum and an occasional toke on the catnip peace-pipe while watching the Macy's Day parade in hopes of seeing the Cat in the Hat balloon.

We wish you and your family a very Happy Thanksgiving!

We apologize for not being able to visit all the wonderful cat blogs and leave comments.
If you are on facebook please let us know so we can comment there!

Zevo hussein Calamari invites you to show until you drop at the Planet Calamari Art Galleria so that she can purchase a new pair of Jimmy Choo Shoes and matching Versace gown.

BREAKING NEWS.... JUSTIN BIEBER BIT.......

2010-11-22T09:14:00.004-05:00

CNN
LA CA

THIS JUST IN.....

Justin Bieber is the latest victim of a Bite & Run attack at the 2010 American Music Awards. Unconfirmed sources are also reporting that Miley Cyrus was also bit and is now missing her earrings. Screams were heard through out LA last night. Reports of celebrities and stick insects wearing fur were also victims of the attacks. All are in stable condition at an undisclosed hospitial. Many are claiming missing iphones, ipods, jewelry and credit cards.

A biohazard team has been brought into the area to help disperse the horrid stench that seemed to have appeared during the attacks.

No suspects are in custody at this time. However those standing by claim to have seen a horde of cats and a few dogs wearing berets running through the crowd right before the commotion began. Authorities believe this attack was perpetrated by the feline domestic terrorist group known as the Pooses for Peace. The celebrity cats are known for their covert Bite and Run tactics mainly targeting annoying celebrities and politicians. This has been the first Bite & Run attack since the disappearance of Miss Boo, one of the co-founders of the group. Many believe that this attack was a training operation for the newest members of the Pooses for Peace.

Zevo hussein Calamari issued a statement from what seemed to be filmed in a cave "Justin Who? What is a Miley Cyrus? Is it a drink? Does this beret make me look fat? Pass me that flask of tequila, i have a horrible taste in my mouth."

This Breaking News has been brought to you by www.planetcalamari.com

Bon Jour Mademoiselle Toi

2010-11-14T16:52:00.004-05:00

Pooses for Peace Breaking News

Hillcrest San Diego, CA

We would like to introduce the newest member of the Pooses for Peace, Mademoiselle Toi, (pronounced twah). This French beauty is now living with Miss Boo's pet human who is still pining for the day when Boo returns home. (We have been assured that Boo's tiaras and clothing will not be given to Toi nor will it even be borrowed.)

Boo's pet human was overheard saying "Toi is French. No need for tiaras. She wears a pencil skirt and a beret and smokes Gauloise. I'd like her to quit, but she's French..... I do hope Boo forgives me when she returns home and must share space now another cat."

Toi has already had an influence on Miss Lucy Fur and Luna Miso Poosie who have been seen wearing a berets and smoking Gauloises at Mo's over the weekend. Vogue magazine is rumored to have the celebrity cats known as the Pooses for Peace wearing berets on the January cover.

A Soiree will be held this coming weekend at the Casino Calamari.
Please bring your own berets.
(Smoking is prohibited at the Casino.)
French cheese, mice and wine will be served.

Zevo Calamari Promoted to CEO of Planet Calamari Art Galleria

2010-11-07T09:54:00.004-05:00

Associated Press
Wee Salem MA

Unconfirmed rumors are circulating that Zevo hussein Calamari, celebrity jewel thief, and famed entrepreneur has taken over the position of CEO at thePlanet Calamari Art Galleria. Sources are not sure if it was a hostile take over or if her pet human, known as Beta-chic, the owner and artist of the business just handed it over peacefully to Zevo.

Miss Calamari owns several successful businesses with her cohorts, The Pooses for Peace. Among them are The Casino Calamari, Cinema Calamari, The Holy Spaghetti Factory, A Costume shop and a few other questionable operations.

Zevo Calamari issued a statement this morning "As the new CEO of Planet Calamari Art Galleria, i intend to make this business a success. The more money my pet human makes, the more shoes i can buy. By my running this business she will have more time to create one of a kind jewelry and art. Does this bracelet make me look fat? Oh Keith dear, could you pass me that flask please."

Beta-chic was over heard saying "Do we have anymore band aids in the house?"

Keith Olbermann Spotted At Salem's Casino Calamari

2010-11-05T20:50:00.004-04:00

Associated Press
Salem MA
BREAKING NEWS

Unconfirmed sources report that Keith Olbermann is hiding out at the Casino Calamari in Wee Salem drowning his sorrows camped out near the famed margarita fountain. Rumors are flying that his stick insect girlfriend dumped him now that he does not have a job and that he has sought the comfort of his old flame Zevo Calamari, of the Pooses for Peace.

No comment or statement has been made by Miss Calamari or the Pooses for Peace as of yet. Paparazzi are flooding the city of Salem and the new territory of Wee Salem (which declared its independence from the city of Salem early this year) in hopes of catching a picture of Keith O and the famed celebrity domestic feline terrorist.

Nubi wan Kenobi, Jedi cat and bouncer for the Casino Calamari was heard saying "Could somebody call Mexico for more tequila STAT. Does this Jedi robe make me look fat?"

Happy BlogBlast for Peace Day

2010-11-04T13:12:00.000-04:00

Dia de Los Muertos

2010-11-01T19:16:00.003-04:00

Salem MA

The Ghost of Frida Kahlo made her traditional appearance today in Salem. As expected, the late artist appeared at the Casino Calamari on first day of Dia de Los Muertos.

Nubi wan Kenobi the Jedi poose helps to channel the messages from Frida to the Pooses for Peace. "Bring more tequila please... and a few more bottles of paint. Throw in some new brushes por favor!"

All are invited to the Dia De Los Muertos Fiesta
at the Casino Calamari tonight and tomorrow night.
Bring your own sombreros an unibrows.
A margarita fountain will be flowing the entire evening with
an all you can eat Tuna Taco and Ham enchilada buffet!

Happy Halloween To All

2010-10-31T08:50:00.002-04:00

Wishing you a happy Halloween and Blessed Samhain!

You are invited to the Pooses for Peace Halloween Ball
Casino Calamari
8:00 pm- ?
All you can eat spookilee-delicious buffet
Spooktini Fountin
Nip Brownies

Special Guests
The Rocky Horror Show Cast
Dr Bombay from Bewitched

The Poose Vampire Ball Tonight!

2010-10-30T09:56:00.004-04:00

Salem MA

Hordes of cats, dogs and celebrities have been seen wandering through Salem, MA in anticipation of the annual Poose Vampire Ball held at the haunted Hawthorne Hotel tonight. (not to be confused with The Annual Pooses for Peace Halloween Ball which is held on Halloween Night at the Casino Calamari) All those who attending tonight's gala must wear a vampire costume. Many cats have had their teeth sharpened for the event.

This event is invitation only. Invitees are picked by the celebrity cats known as the Gatti della Strega (the Witch Cats). A few years ago the mayor of Salem was said to have fainted while at the ball, at the sight of Captain Jack Sparrow and claims her earrings were stolen by the cats. The cats and the mayor have been feuding since that event.

Rumors that the cast of Dark Shadows, the cast from Twilight will attend, as well as Anne Rice, Stephen King, the cast of the old BEWITCHED TV series and the new movie. Brad Pitt with-out scary Angelina & the wretched kids.

Rumors are flying that George Clooney will attend in hopes to find the missing Miss Boo and apologize. Clooney dumped Miss Boo for a stick insect underwear model. Boo fled the country and is now MIA. Unconfirmed sources believe Miss Boo is in Salem and has been wearing a disguise and is now dating Captain Jack Sparrow.

Once again, this year the mayor of Salem Kim Driscoll was not invited to the ball. When asked why the mayor was snubbed, Spokes-poose Zevo Hussein Calamari replied "She can go hang out at that tacky carnival in her black suit with those carnies that she forced on the city of Salem. Tomorrow evening she can watch the$20,000 light show over the wrecking yard."

The mayor of Salem has brought in extra security for this event and has issued a warning to all residents to keep all valuable jewelry in a safe deposit box for the weekend. "Those cats are a menace to society. My carnival provides family friendly entertainment and the Fiesta Show people are just the salt of the earth. ~~Not to mention they contribute to my campaign fund~~ It really does take that much away from the other local businesses and food vendors who work so hard all year round. We all need more fried dough in our diet."

Samantha's Costume shop in Salem and the new Calamari Costume Shop of Wee Salem has reported that the top selling costume for female cats is the Miss Boo ensemble along with the Cheysuli Presidential costume. For younger male cats, the "Nubi wan Kenobi Jedi "costume has been flying off the racks. Other costumes such as Bite & Run jackets, Poop & Run jackets and Poot & Run jackets seem to be very popular this year with many of the cat tourists.

More security will be brought into Salem tomorrow night where 100,000 cats, dogs and skunks are expected to roam the city. The Pooses for Peace will hold their annual Halloween Ball tomorrow evening at the famed Casino Calamari located in Wee Salem.

Strega Zevo Calamari Reads the Cards

2010-10-28T20:17:00.002-04:00

Wee Salem Haunted Happenings Event

Strega cat Zevo Calamari will be doing tarot readings all week at the Casino Calamari.

Nubi wan Kenobi will be giving Ghost Tours all week through out Salem.

Luna Miso Poosie and Che Nikki will be telling Ghost stories at the House of Seven Gables.

Miss Lucy Fur and ~~Miss Boo~~ um a few unknown cats will be performing the Pirates of Pennzance on the tallship the Friendship on Friday and Saturday evening.

Monkay the thumbed poose with be performing Houdini's tricks at the Casino Calamari at the Pooses for Peace Halloween Ball.

Saturday evening:
The Vampire Poose Ball
Hawthorne Hotel Salem MA
8pm-?
Wear and sharpen your own fangs
Formal vamp attire please

Sunday Halloween:
The Pooses for Peace Halloween Ball
By invite only
Casino Calamari
Special guests :
Dr Bombay
The Rocky Horror Show folks

New Costume Shop Opens in Wee Salem

2010-10-22T19:26:00.005-04:00

Wee Salem MA

Another new business has sprung up in the Wee Salem District owned and run by the celebrity cats known as the Pooses for Peace. The cats known for their entrepreneurial talents had the grand opening of The Calamari Costume Shop, right in time for the Halloween season this evening. A party will be held at the Casino Calamari tonight to jump start the Halloween week. Scores of celebrities and hordes of cats have been seen strolling through Salem into Wee Salem all day.

Mayor Zevo hussein Calamari along with friends Miss Lucy Fur, Nubi wan Kenobi, Che Nikki, Monkay and Luna Miso Poosie and an unknown cat in costume celebrated their new enterprise by drinking shots of Strega while cutting the ribbon. Rumors are circulating that the unknown cat is the missing Miss Boo.

Unlike normal costume shops, this unique store offers costumes for cats, dogs, skunks and even humans. This year's best seller is the Miss Boo costume which comes with a Miss Boo Mask, an emerald tiara, Jimmy Choo shoes and Versace strapless gown. Another popular Miss Boo costume include a Miss Boo mask, a pirate hat, wench dress, and bottle of rum. Unconfirmed sources believe many cats will dress as Miss Boo this Halloween so that the real Miss Boo can go undetected in Salem. Boo is currently wanted by the FBI, CIA and Homeland Security. Authorities have not been able to pinpoint her where abouts but believe she marched in the Haunted Happenings Parade with her cohorts and her new lover, Captain Jack Sparrow.

"Costumes of celebrity cats such as Cheysuli, The Meezer Boys, Jedi Nubi wan kenobi have been very popular as well." said Luna Miso Poosie, who has been promoted to sales manager of the shop. "Our least popular is the Mayor Kim Driscoll costume which includes an ill fitting black suit, black wig, black clunky shoes, a clipboard and a chainsaw."

No tax will be charged on goods sold since the store resides in the Wee Salem, (which has been declared the 51 state by the cats after seceding from the city of Salem and the Commonwealth of MA.) The cats also own Casino Calamari, Cinema Calamari, The Holy Spaghetti Factory and a sushi bar. All are located in the Wee Salem borders.

X-Files Agnets Mulder & Scully Spotted in Salem MA

2010-10-11T19:03:00.002-04:00

Associated Press
Salem MA

Less than a week ago the small city of Salem MA experienced what is believed to be a UFO close encounter over the Haunted Happenings Parade. Several witnesses believe it was the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Salem has a few devotees of this so called pasta God. They are known as pastafarians. The infamous Pooses for Peace are believed to be part of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and were in the parade when the FSM appeared.

Mayor Driscoll blames the celebrity cats for inviting the FSM to the event and upsetting the warm fuzzy family atmosphere of the parade. CIA, FBI and NASA agents are still investigating the event. Agents have been seen dining at In A Pig's Eye and the Lobster Shanty all week. Others have been spotted having tarot readings at the Oracle Chamber and Laurie Cabot's shop. Mayor Driscoll has been seen every night at Cafe Verona ordering pasta dishes. We can only hope she has an extra black suit in a larger size if this continues.

The US government has issued a statement. "There is no such thing as UFOs or a Flying Spaghetti Monster. We are certain it was a weather balloon passing over the parade.

Fox Mulder and partner Dana Scully refused to comment on the possibility that Salem has been over run by aliens. Fox was over heard saying "I want to believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Where can we get a good plate of pasta in this town?"

No word if the wanted feline Miss Boo was in the parade along with the celebrity cats and Jack Sparrow. A familiar looking cat wearing a blonde wig, sunglasses and an emerald tiara was seen cuddling with Capt Jack Sparrow. When spokes-poose Zevo Calamari was asked if Boo was in Salem for the holiday her response was "Boo who? Does this pirate hat make me look fat. Check out these phone numbers in this iphone i found......... pass me a shot of Strega darlin'...."

BREAKING NEWS FROM SALEM MA.....ALERT......

2010-10-07T19:59:00.002-04:00

BREAKING NEWS LIVE FROM SALEM MA ....... This just in.... Commotion and chaos in progress at the Haunted Happenings Parade. Reports of a UFO hovering over the parade dripping spaghetti sauce. Authorities are now at the scene.

Unconfirmed sources believe it is the Flying Spaghetti Monster and was invited by its devotees, the Pooses for Peace who appeared in tonight's parade mysteriously along with several celebrities and Captain Jack Sparrow.

A Press Conference will be held as soon as order has been restored and the crowds dispersed. Mayor Kim Driscoll has reportedly been touched by the Noodley being and her suit is in stable condition with sauce stains.

Stay tune for updates live from Salem. This portion of your local news has been brought to you by Ragu Sauce.

City of Salem Issues Warning For Haunted Happenings Parade

2010-10-05T20:11:00.003-04:00

Salem MA

The City of Salem just put out a red alert warning for Thursday night's Haunted Happenings Parade. Authorities are concerned that the city has been unusually quite this week. The so called domestic terrorist group (named by authorities) known as the Pooses for Peace are nowhere to be seen in Salem. In fact since the Friendship disappeared - then mysteriously reappeared with a note and a bottle of rum- nobody has since seen the cats. Unconfirmed sources believe the cats are on a tropical island with Captain Jack Sparrow along with the missing Miss Boo, who is wanted by the FBI, CIA, Homeland Security and Interpol.

In the past years celebrities and hordes of cats poured into Salem the week of the parade to march with the celebrity cats known as The Pooses for Peace. This boosted business for every cafe, bar and restaurant in the area and Salem's economy. Celebrities such as Nicole Kidman, George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Oprah, Cher and countless others marched in the parade with the cats and their BFF Captain Jack Sparrow. Later paparazzi and celebrities were seen at local hotspots, shops and having their palms read.

However, every year the cats have been accused of causing a disturbance. mayhem and unpredictable chaos. Reports of missing watches, earrings and iPods increased during each parade. The cats have been a thorn in Mayor Kim Driscoll's side ever since she tried to upstage the cats at the parade. (However she has yet to succeed.)
If you don't remember here are the links!
parade 2007 click here for memories of 2007 parade!
parade 2008 click here if you forgot about 2008's parade!
parade 2009 click here if you forget 2009

Authorities are worried the cats and their legions of Bite & Run, Poot & Run, Whap & Run and Poop & Run Patrols may make a surprise appearance at the parade on Thursday and cause a rukus. Unconfirmed sources believe that Mayor Driscoll is afraid that the deity known as the Flying Spaghetti Monster will appear at the parade again thus causing her ill fitting black suit to once again be covered in red sauce.

Mayor Driscoll issued a statement: "These cats are a menace to society. They will not rain on my parade. Oh...and I am BFF with Captain Jack Sparrow- he will be with ME this Friday night as I lead the wretched children of Salem around town for free candy. I am craving pasta can someone deliver a plate of spaghetti to City Hall for lunch?"

A video of spokespoose Zevo hussein Calamari was broadcast today with her statement. "Kim who? Jack darlin' could you pour us more rum dear? Does this pirate hat make me look fat?"

Boston Police and Top Secret Air Force officials have been called in case they are needed. Still- nobody seems to know if the cats and their cohorts will even show up.

Celebrity Cats Spotted On Tortuga Island

2010-09-27T09:52:00.003-04:00

Associated Press
Costa Rica

Unconfirmed sources have reported seeing the celebrity cats known as the Pooses for Peace and Captain Jack Sparrow on Tortuga Island over the weekend. It is believed that the missing feline Miss Boo was seen dancing on the beach with Sparrow wearing a coconut bra, a sequined bikini bottom and an emerald tiara.

The cats and Sparrow are suspects in the latest commandeering of Salem's tall ship The Friendship. However in a mysterious turn of events over the weekend, the Friendship is now back at Derby Wharf unharmed. Authorities have no explaination on how the ship appeared with no passengers aboard.

As Halloween approaches, Salem's mayor Kim Driscoll is holding her breath waiting to hear if the cats will march in the Haunted Happenings Parade. Extra security and police have been requested for this years event.

In the past few years the cats have been accused of disturbing the peace at the event. Last year it is rumored that the Flying Spaghetti Monster appeared at the parade and touched Dricoll with his Noodley Appendage, thus causing her to crave pasta. (Later in the year she also sponsered a Spaghetti Dinner.) The celebrity cats are devotees of the flying deity. (Driscoll is not.)

THE FRIENDSHIP MISSING!!!!!!!

2010-09-19T06:00:00.000-04:00

Associated Press
Salem MA

BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Salem's tall ship known as The Friendship vanished sometime last night. Baffled authorities found a small boat docked on the beach of Derby Wharf with a note which read "Yo ho yo ho a pirates life for me!" An empty bottle of rum was also found in the boat.

Homeland security, The FBI and CIA have been brought in to investigate the whereabouts of the missing ship. The Salem Police are still on manhole duty on Bridge Street and Highland Ave.

Meanwhile the celebrity cats known as the Pooses for Peace were nowhere to be found in Salem or Wee Salem today. Unconfirmed sources believe the cats have once again commandeered the Friendship with pirate Captain Jack Sparrow. It is believed Sparrow is having an affair with celebrity cat Miss Boo who has been missing for several weeks. Rumors are flying that Boo and Capt Jack have been staying on a tropical island hiding from authorities and paparazzi.

Security Beefed Up In SalemProtecting The Friendship

2010-09-18T17:15:00.004-04:00

Associated Press
Salem MA

On the eve of Talk Like A Pirate Day , Salem's Mayor Kim Driscoll has requested the city of Boston for extra police coverage for the tall ship known as The Friendship. (Salem police were too busy guarding manholes on Highland Ave this weekend to protect the ship.)

Driscoll and city officials are worried that the domestic terrorist cats known as the Pooses for Peace may commandeer the ship (again) along with their BFF, Captain Jack Sparrow. The shipped disappeared last year and the pirate cats were blamed, although no proof was found.

The cats are Pastafarians, devotees of the Flying Spaghetti Monster . Talk Like A Pirate Day is a Pastafarian Holy day and all those who worship the Noodley deity must wear pirate regalia, eat pasta and drink rum or red wine.

Last year the cats and Captain Jack Sparrow walked in the Haunted Happenings Parade causing an uproar and much needed excitement during the boring parade. Driscoll has declared that this year she will not be upstaged (again) by the cats. No word if they have decided to be in this year's parade.

Zevo hussein Calamari, mayor of Wee Salem issued a statement " Um... like... Kim who? What ship? Does this pirate hat make me look fat? Pass the rum... arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh"

A Message from Miss Lucy Fur

2010-09-13T11:00:00.000-04:00

Hello All,

Tomorrow night we're planning our second Purr Vigil at Urban Mo's in Hillcrest. You are all invited. I am hoping Miss Boo tweets her location soon so the Queen's Corgis and I can fly out to meet her.

The old 'hood just isn't the same without her. Besides, she never returned my tiara and I think she took my new fall leopard skin Choos with the platform heels with her and I need them!

Boo....call home NOW!!

Kiss Kiss,

Miss Lucy Fur

Consulting the Oracle in Search of Miss Boo

2010-09-12T17:26:00.005-04:00

It has been almost two weeks since anyone has seen Miss Boo. I have decided to do a tarot reading on her safety and whereabouts.

The cards seem promising. The Lovers card turned up which may portend a good union, perhaps a secret lover? Which would explain why she is hiding from the paparazzi. (but why us?) The Chariot card - means movement and travel. My guess is she is hiding somewhere in Europe or a tropical island with her secret lover. And the last card is the Sun which means the tropical island is most likely and that Boo and her lover are basking in the light of their new found love.

Or perhaps she is hiding with that stolen Van Gogh sunflower picture......So there is hope.

Please continue to pray and purr that Miss Boo returns home safely. Boo if you are reading this - take a moment and call, email, or tweet that you are OK. We love and miss you.

zevo and the pooses for peace

Sunday Update

2010-09-05T09:04:00.002-04:00

Thank you all for your kind words, prayers, purrs and love. So far no word about Miss Boo. Her pet human has posted her pic all over Hillcrest San Diego, called neighbors and roamed the area calling her name. She may be trapped in someone's garage or perhaps someone found her and took her. We are all hoping for a miracle.

Will continue to keep you posted. It is easier via facebook.
http://www.facebook.com/#!/PoosesForPeace?ref=ts

I am sorry my pet human cannot respond to every comment. We are still working on an antique mac which does not do well when opening up cool blogs.

love
zevo & the pooses for peace

Miss Boo Please Come Home NOW

2010-09-02T20:20:00.002-04:00

My BFF, Miss Boo has been missing since Tuesday according to her pet human. We are having a nonstop purr-a-thon and lighting candles in hopes our prayers will be answered soon that Boo will return home safe and healthy ASAP.

Boo... if you are reading this get your cute furry butt home now so we can plan our next party. We love you. Hurry home.. there is fresh nip, tequila and a new tiara waiting.

We will keep you posted. Thank you for all your purrs and prayers.

zevo and the pooses for peace

What Painting?

2010-08-22T16:41:00.002-04:00

Van Gogh 'Poppy Flowers' painting valued at $50 million stolen in Egypt still missing

Happy Birthday Boo!

2010-08-19T09:35:00.002-04:00

Today is Miss Boo. my BFF's birthday! Please celebrate with us tonight at the Moulin Rouge. We have rented the entire Ritz Carlton in Paris for all of our friends and members of the Pooses for Peace. Miss Boo, Miss Lucy Fur and i will be staying in Paris for the rest of the week and perhaps a bit longer depending on how we feel. Life at home has been a bore here in Salem with the new d-o-g and now that there is a c-o-y-o-t-e in Miss Lucy Fur and Boo's backyard we need a vacation!

Please bring your own tiaras and top hats.
ciao ciao
zevo

Ding Dong the Gay Marriage Ban is Dead!

2010-08-04T18:53:00.004-04:00

SAN FRANCISCO — A federal judge overturned California's gay-marriage ban Wednesday in a landmark case that could eventually force the U.S. Supreme Court to confront the question of whether same-sex couples have a constitutional right to wed.

Chief U.S. District Judge Vaughn Walker made his ruling in a lawsuit filed by two gay couples who claimed the voter-approved ban violated their civil rights.

Gay couples and gay pooses waving rainbow and American flags outside the courthouse cheered, hugged and kissed as word of the ruling spread. Cats and dogs wearing tiaras and rainbow glitter t shirts danced in the streets.

"This is a victory for the American people and their pooses. It's a victory for our justice system," said former U.S. Solicitor General Theodore Olson, who delivered the closing argument at trial for opponents of the ban.

Zevo hussein Calamari, spokespoose for the Pooses for Peace issued a statement from Wee Salem's Casino Calamari" Then this is a day of independence for all the gay folk and their descendants. Infamy! Let the joyous news be spread. ...the Wicked bigoted law now is dead! A party to celebrate will be hosted by the Pooses for Peace this weekend at Mo's in Hillcrest San Diego! Bring your own tiara.... do these ruby slippers make me look fat? Pass the tequila please."

Sushi Bar Opens in Wee Salem

2010-07-18T15:09:00.002-04:00

Associated Press
Salem MA

The celebrity cats known as the Pooses for Peace opened another restaurant at the famed Casino Calamari in Wee Salem over the weekend. Their latest enterprise is a revolving state of the art sushi bar called Ika Sush. Jedi Nubi wan Kenobi is the head Itamae (sushi chef). Celebrities and hordes of cats have been flocking to Salem over the weekend just to be seen dining at Ika Sushi.

At the ribbon cutting ceremony Mayor Zevo, Miss Boo, and Miss Lucy Fur wore black Versace couture, Jimmy Choo shoes and tiaras to match their eyes. Luna miso Poosie donned a pair of Monolos especially made for her 8 toed paws. Other members of the Pooses for Peace present at the ceremony. A few were inebriated but all were well dressed.

Casino Calamari is located in the 51st state of the USA, known as Wee Salem. Once a part of Salem, MA, the cats decided that being taxed to the hilt in the Commonwealth along combined with the city of Salem's latest tax hike on dining and entertainment to fund the mayor's whims was no longer acceptable. So they seceded and formed their own state. The mayor of Wee Salem is Zevo hussein Calamari, a thorn in the side of Salem's mayor Kimberley Driscoll. The city of Salem has not issued a comment about the latest restaurant opening. Unconfirmed sources have reported that the mayor has hired another consultant to review the impact of the cats' businesses on traffic.

Mayor Calamari issued a statement" Arigato! Welcome to Ika Sushi. Eat, drink and be merry... all tax free. Parking is free in our underground garage. Pass me another sake please."

Paul the Psychic Octopus invited to Wee Salem!

2010-07-11T17:50:00.007-04:00

Associated Press
Salem MA

Paul the psychic octopus who predicted the winner of every game in the World Cup has been invited to stay at the Casino Calamari in Wee Salem MA. The mystic mollusk confirmed his flawless accuracy after Spain lifted the trophy, beating Holland 1-0.

The celebrity cats known as the Pooses for Peace asked their new friend the clairvoyant cephalopod to come to Wee Salem MA and perform psychic readings at their famed casino. Salem is known for its witches, psychics and anything that has to do with the occult. (Wee Salem is now its own state and has seceded from the state of MA and city of Salem, MA.)

The celebrity cats and their entourage were invited to watch the final match between Spain and the Netherlands by Shakira. Several other cats, dogs, skunks and various animals were spotted sitting in the stadium watching the game. Many were inebriated. Several of the leather bracelets worn by Shakira are now reported to be missing.

Unconfirmed sources report that Mayor Kimberley Driscoll is quite miffed the cats secured the psychic octopus before her. None of the income made by the casino can be taxed since Wee Salem has declared its independence.

Zevo hussein Calamari issued a statement from the Soccer City Stadium in Johannesburg , South Africa: " Viva Espana! We are pleased that Paul the octopus has agreed to join the Pooses for Peace and live with us at our casino. We are hoping to engage him in his psychic abilities to raise more money for ~~us to spend~~ ...um good causes. Do these leather bracelets make me look fat? Pass me some of that sangria por favore."

Our Newest Member of the Poop & Run Brigade!

2010-07-10T12:12:00.003-04:00

The Pooses for Peace are happy to announce our latest inductee of the infamous Poop & Run Brigade, Miss Quan Yin Wu who will go by her chosen covert name, Poopalina when on duty.

Miss Poopalina through rigorous training at Poop Boot Camp, proved her ability to poop nonstop all week, and performed explosive displays several nights. Unfortunately her pet humans took her to the V-E-T for flagyl after trying every holistic remedy possible to stop it. (Incense is still burning through out the house and yard in hopes of masking the stench!)

The Poop & Run Brigade is famous for its sneak attacks on politicians, annoying celebrities and greedy corporate wall street thugs, (not to mention a few attacks on the Supreme Court and the White House during the W era. A biohazard team must be brought in after an attack. The Bush administration declared the Pooses for Peace a domestic terrorist group with Weapons of Mass Destruction. The Obama administration has cleared the group of all charges and issued a statement. " Cats poop. Dogs poop. Bo poops all the time- does that him a terrorist? Don't ask about the poop. We will not tell you about the poop."

Miss Wu will be under the command of senior Poop & Run generals. She is now living with celebrity cats Zevo hussein Calamari, Nubi wan Kenobi and the 8 toed wonder Luna miso Poosie.

All are invited to the Casino Calamari to celebrate
8:00 pm
All you can eat buffet
Margarita fountain
Cat nip brownies
Bean & Cabbage Dog Treats!

Music by the B52s

Happy Birthday Frida Kahlo

2010-07-06T09:00:00.000-04:00

I hope the leaving is joyful; and I hope never to return.
Frida Kahlo

The movie Frida will be featured tonight at the Cinema Calamari.

Frida attire is requested, unibrow and red lipstick for females.
Males... sombreros and Diego attire will do!
Featuring an all you can eat Mexican buffett with a margarita bar!
Ole'

Peace Love Pooses

2010-07-05T16:19:00.003-04:00

Associated Press
Salem MA

The celebrity cats known as the Pooses for Peace and their friend Captain Jack Sparrow joined Salem's favorite local band Britannica on Derby Wharf last night for the 4th of July festivities. Zevo hussien Calamari, Miss Boo, Miss Lucy Fur, Che Nikki, Nubi wan Kenobi, Luna miso Poosie and numerous other cats danced and sang back up vocals on stage while Britannica played.

Mayor Kimberley Driscoll beefed up security in anticipation that the cats and their pirate friend, Sparrow would commandeer the tall ship known as the Friendship. Unconfirmed sources also claim that Driscoll wore ankle and knee guards under her signature ill fitting black suit for fear of another Bite & Run.

The celebrity cats and the mayor have had several run ins in the past and have been blamed for stealing the Friendship along with another tall ship in the past. Zevo hussein Calamari is still very miffed that she lost the mayoral election to Driscoll because the City of Salem refused to count the thousands of votes cast by cats, dogs, squirrels and people in the election.

Earlier in the day the cats and Capt Jack Sparrow were seen dancing on their own float at the Salem Willows parade. They followed the float mocking the Dominion Coal Plant and Mayor Driscoll.

The cats, Britannica and Sparrow were said to stumble out of The Witches Brew late last night and then partied the night away at the famed Casino Calamari.

Various claims of earrings, watches and diamonds have been reported missing from those attending the parade and concert according to the Salem Police log. No suspects have been named.

Miss Zevo hussein Calamari issued a statement. "What earrings? Does this pirate hat make me look fat? Please pass me another margarita! arrrrrrgh"

Captain Jack Sparrow Seen in Salem?

2010-06-30T20:51:00.006-04:00

Associated Press
Salem MA

Unconfirmed sources report that Captain Jack Sparrow has been seen staggering around Salem today with several inebriated cats. Rumors are flying that his friends, the celebrity cats known as the Pooses for Peace have flown back from France along with him to attend the Fourth of July festivities on Derby Wharf this weekend.

The cats have been vacationing at the Ritz Carlton in Paris to get away from the stresses of their daily lives. Zevo hussein Calamari has recently been subjected to live with a ... d-o-g. Miss Boo, who was engaged to George Clooney last year is still depressed that he dumped her for a stick insect underwear model. Miss Lucy Fur is now off her medication and is quite unpredictable when provoked.

Salem Mayor, Kimberley Driscoll has called for extra security to be placed on Derby Wharf and around the tall ship the Friendship. Last May the ship "disappeared" and did not return to Salem until November. The National Park Service claimed that the ship had been in Boothbay Harbor, Maine, for repairs. Unconfirmed sources revealed that the ship was actually hijacked earlier last year by the cats and Captain Jack Sparrow. To save face the City of Salem agreed to play along with the ship needs repair story. The cats and the Mayor of Salem have had tumultuous relationship the past several years. Recently the cats declared their independence from the City of Salem by calling their property Wee Salem.

Locals are hoping the celebrity cats and Capt Jack Sparrow will have a float in the Horribles Parade on Sunday at the Salem Willows. This parade makes a mockery of local politics and news.. and especially is fond of mocking the mayor and her signature black suit.

Rumors are circulating that the celebrity cats and Sparrow will be performing back up vocals for one their favorite local Salem bands, Britannica on Sunday at 5pm on Derby Wharf. You can become a fan at Britannica

Fireworks and a party will follow at Wee Salem's Casino Calamari.

Meanwhile in Salem .....

2010-06-28T10:00:00.000-04:00

It is time to train my dog, Quan Yin how to to sit, stay and do stuff i want to do, so i am studying the Monks of New Skete book- How To Be Your Dog's Best Friend. Zevo is going to be sooooo put out about this!

Celebrity Cats Seen in Paris

2010-06-27T06:57:00.002-04:00

Associated Press
Paris, France

The celebrity cats known as the Pooses for Peace and their entourage were seen arriving in Paris last night on their private solar powered jet.

Unconfirmed sources report that spokes-poose Zevo hussein Calamari decided to go to Europe for the summer to get away from her pet humans and their new rescue d-o-g. Close friends of Zevo believe that she is quite miffed that they did not consult her about the adoption.

Zevo is even more put out that roomie Nubi wan Kenobi is now BFF with the d-o-g. Nubi wan was not invited on this summer vacation. Luna miso Poosie also chose to stay in Salem instead of going to Paris with the girls and released a statement: "They mock my feet in Paris. I rather be with the freaks and witches of Salem....and i really do not trust that large beast roaming in my home. Someone needs to monitor this situation."

Miss Boo, BFF to Zevo and Miss Lucy Fur is still recovering from her break up with George Clooney who dumped her for a stick insect underwear model. Miss Lucy Fur is hoping to reunite with her true love, Her Majesty's corgie while in Europe. Miss Boo was heard saying "This summer vacation is our time to heal, play, shop and um like ~~score some cool stuff at the Louvre.~~ um...take in fine art.

The cats and their friends are staying at the Ritz Carlton in Paris. No word of how long their stay will be in their favorite city. Security at the Louvre has been beefed up since their arrival.

Happy Birthday Che

2010-06-14T01:00:00.000-04:00

You are invited to:
A Grande Fiesta at the Casino Calamari
in honor of Che Guevara's birthday!
Monday June 14
7:00 pm- ?

Mojitos, Cigars and Music by The Buena Vista Social Club
Special guests Benicio del Toro and ~~Fidel Castro~~
Wear your own beret and combat fatigues
Please bring your own asthma inhaler

"If you tremble indignation at every injustice then you are a comrade of mine."

- Ernesto Che Guevara

Nubi's BFF

2010-06-08T19:29:00.001-04:00

She's here... and she is MY dog. Her name is Quan Yin and we are totally BFFs. She lets me nap near her. I use her dog bed. I love her crate- even though she has never been in it.... and she has black fur like me.
Luna is still hissing obscenities at her and Zevo just ignores her. So Quan Yin is mine.. all mine. I am so happy the pet humans finally got me a dog to play with.

I am a very happy poose!
Nubi wan Kenobi

Who Said D-O-G?

2010-06-01T20:56:00.004-04:00

So sorry we have not been around- the pet human has been busy and having lots of iBook problems. The rumor around here is that we are finally getting a D-O-G... shhhhhhhh we can't let Zevo know or she will flip! Luna is not sure what a D-O-G is yet.

I personally love d-o-gs. I believe i was a black lab in a past life or perhaps a d-o-g in a cat's body this lifetime. I want a d-o-g. After all- my real name is Anibus, the d-o-g god of the dead. (pet humans now refer to me as Nubi, Nubi wan Kenobi, Mr Nubi, Senor Poosehead, NUBI GET DOWN FROM THERE NOW and other various names depending on what i am doing. Some i shall not repeat.)

So as we prepare the house for the arrival of my d-o-g, Kuan Yin a rescue from TN i shall read all i can about d-o-gs in my favorite magazines, BARK and Whole D-O-G Journal.

Time to go pour Zevo another margarita....
xooxox
nubi wan kenobi

Happy Towel Day!

2010-05-25T09:17:00.002-04:00

Wee Salem Secedes from City of Salem

2010-05-08T18:12:00.005-04:00

Associated Press
Salem MA

A new state on the North Shore of MA?

Authorities of the city of Salem and the Common Wealth of Massachusetts have been hit with disturbing news. A small portion of Salem, MA has seceded from the city and state and declared itself the 51st state of the United States of America. (However sources claim this is depending on the next election in which the rebel state may then secede altogether and form its own country!)

Wee Salem, the name of this new state is located very close to the historical House of the Seven Gables. Authorities are not quite sure how many homes in the neighborhood have seceded.
The new mayor, Zevo hussein Calamari and her advisors, all members of the infamous Pooses for Peace declared their independence on Cinco de Mayo.

Mayor Zevo Calamari issued a statement: "We the citizens of Wee Salem are tired of the greed, back room politics and stupidity of Mayor Kimberley Driscoll and her troupe of minons. We have decided to secede. No more taxes on food, entertainment and cupcakes! We will not cut down a forest for an Uber Wal-Mart-Lowes in Wee Salem. We promise not to hire over priced consultants and fake traffic studies. No more tacky carnivals! Come to Wee Salem and stay at the Casino Calamari. Enjoy a tax free meal at the Holy Spaghetti Factory! Witches, pirates and pastafarians are welcome! Free parking.. and um .. like there is plenty of parking too! ....and um... i promise never ever to wear an ill fitting black suit."

There has been no response yet from Mayor Driscoll or the Common Wealth of MA. Governor Patrick Deval claims to have never heard of the Pooses for Peace.

Feliz Cinco De Mayo!

2010-05-05T04:00:00.000-04:00

musica!
tacos!

tequila!!!!!!!!

Fiesta de esta noche con los Gatos de la Paz!
(party tonight with the pooses for peace!)

Suarez Family Arrives at the Casino Calamari

2010-05-04T20:35:00.002-04:00

Associated Press
Salem MA

The Suarez family arrived at the Casino Calamari today to begin preparations for the Cinco de Mayo Fiesta. The family had so much fun at last year's event they decided to cook for it again.

Ignacio Suarez aka Poppy, father of Betty and Hilda will be cooking for the fiesta. (Ham enchiladas were requested by Cheysuli and her Meezer friends). Other Mexican entrees such as tuna-dillas, flan con nip de gato and pollo tacos will be served at the party.

A margarita fountain has been donated by Jimmy Buffett for the event. Salma Hayek will be loaning costumes from the movie Frida to celebrity cats Zevo Calamari, Boo, Miss Lucy Fur and several of their close friends. Ugly Betty ponchos will also be available for cats and dogs to wear to the fiesta.

Salem Mayor Kimberly Driscoll has called in for extra police units for back up on Wednesday's event. The cats and the mayor have a long history of not seeing eye to eye on holiday festivities. The mayor has been invited to the fiesta on the condition that she dress in traditional Mexican attire, with red lipstick, a unibrow and she must ditch the black suit. No response has been given by the mayor's office as of today on her plans.

Cinco de Mayo Fiesta

2010-05-03T21:07:00.001-04:00

Hola Gatos!

Estamos teniendo una gran fiesta Cinco de Mayo. Habrá mucho tequila y la comida para todos. Música Mariachi. Por favor, únase a nosotros!

For all you gringo cats here is the translation! We are having a big party Cinco de Mayo. There will be lots of tequila and food for all. Mariachi Music too. Please join us!

Casino Calamari
Wednesday 5/5/10
5:05pm -5:05am
special musical guest: Jimmy Buffett
Salma Hayek
Ugly Betty & her familia
and the ghost of Frida Kahlo!

Boys, bring your own sombreros. Uni-brows, red lipstick and traditional Mexican costumes are a must for all girls. Ugly Betty ponchos and blue braces are also acceptable to wear!

Ole!
The Pooses for Peace

Happy Earth Day!

2010-04-22T05:59:00.003-04:00

"The earth does not belong to man; man belongs to the earth...
We do not inherit the earth from our ancestors; we borrow it from our children." - Chief Seattle

Dear Humans.... wake up and start taking care of this planet!
xoxoxo
The Pooses for Peace

Deja Vu.... Supreme Court Attacked Again!

2010-04-20T20:21:00.002-04:00

CNN..... BREAKING NEWS.............. BITE & RUN ATTACK......... SUPREME COURT

The U.S. Supreme Court dealt animals a serious blow in upholding a court decision that invalidated the federal law banning the commercial sale of videos showing illegal and extreme acts of animal cruelty.

Only one justice, Samuel Alito dissented, noting that the majority has struck down "a valuable statute that was enacted not to suppress speech, but to prevent horrific acts of animal cruelty—in particular, the creation and commercial exploitation of crush videos, a form of depraved entertainment that has no social value."

Justice Alito explained that "the animals used in crush videos are living creatures that experience excruciating pain. Our society has long banned such cruelty, which is illegal throughout the country." Alito was out numbered and the Supreme Court once again showed that its members have no compassion, common sense or even the ability to judge.

After the vote, Alito was said to go home to his cat and pet rat. The rest of the judges had a secret party in the back chambers to celebrate and began singing We Have the Power.

In an unexpected turn of events, a horde of cats , dogs, skunks, polar bears and a lone wolf all wearing Che hats, appeared out of nowhere and proceeded to attack every judge in the room. A monkey filmed the entire bite attack.

Security officers in the building heard screams coming from the room but thought the judges had hired hookers again to celebrate. By the time security guards decided to check on the judges, the animals had already disappeared from the building.

All justices suffered severe bite injuries. and scratches. A few had allergy attacks. One fainted at the sight of the polar bears while another screamed "Where is Sarah Palin and her rifle?... There is a wolf in here!" All were taken to an undisclosed hospital and given pain medication and antihistamines and are in stable condition. However later it was discovered that their medication had been replaced by Flintstone Vitamins. There are reports of a cat wearing scrubs and a tiara running down the halls of the hospital. All who attended the party are missing their iphones and watches.

A biohazard unit was brought in to remove the peculiar odor and puddles on the floor. Most o f the robes were burned as no stain remover on the planet could possible save them.

The video of the judges being attacked is now being sold and there are rumors that it will be posted on youtube soon.

Authorities have not named any suspects however it is believed this is the work of the liberal terrorist group known as the Pooses for Peace and their loyal legions of Bite & Run patrols. This is not the first time that the Supreme Court has been attacked by animals. The last attack took place when US Supreme Court justices who ruled that there would not be any campaign finance limits so that big corporations can take over the planet. A press conference will be held later tonight when more information is gathered.

Miss Zevo hussein Calamari, spokes-poose for the Pooses for Peace released a statement "Well who wants to buy this lovely new film we made? What iphones? Does this robe make me look fat? Ack pass the tequila.. the after -taste of stupidity, hatred and greed is so hard to get out of my mouth...ack ack............."

Boston Tea Party Bite & Run Attack

2010-04-14T20:10:00.004-04:00

BREAKING NEWS

Boston MA..............Home of the Original Tea Party!

Former Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin ~~and wolf murderer~~ criticized the Obama administration and the liberal Snootie pants Congress today at a Tea Party rally on Boston Common, saying the government had been on a "spending spree" and warning of future tax increases.

During Palin's 21-minute you betcha ramblings about the facist, marxist take over by the communist liberals and their muslim leader President Obama, patriotic music played in the background. SUVs with yellow Support our Troops magnets surrounded the area. Flag pins were worn by all in a sea of those wearing red, white and blue.

As Palin was giving her final remarks, a horde of cats, dogs, skunks and possibly a wolf dressed in pirate regalia jumped on stage and into the crowd. Palin was heard screaming as far as the North End of Boston. "What the F*@K? Get off me you varmits. AHhhhhhhhh OUCH that hurts.. you betcha... TODD where the hell ar' ya?
AAAAAAAAAAAchoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo....Oh Lordy is that a wolf there yonder? Where the hell is my rifle?????? HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Boston Police rushed to the scene but were not able to capture any of the so called perpetrators. Palin and several of her Tea Party devotees were rushed to a nearby hospital for bites, cuts, scratches and alleries. All are in stable condition but a few cats wearing nurses uniforms were seen running off with the patients' pain medication. Several of those at the rally have made reports about missing watches, iPhones and credit cards. Sarah Palin's glasses are also reported missing.

Authorities believe this is the work of the infamous liberal domestic terrorist known as the Pooses for Peace. Their headquarters are north of Boston in Salem, MA.

It is not the first time the cats and Sarah Palin have violent encounters. The cats have been accused of attacking Palin a few times while she was on the campaign with John McCain. The Pooses for Peace are also involved in protecting the wolves and keeping Palin off the Discovery Channel. (The cats also have an on going feud with Mayor Kim Driscoll of Salem.)

As of this time the Boston PD has not named the celebrity cats as suspects. Interpol claims that the cats are still in Paris, France celebrating Zevo hussein Calamari's birthday today at a party in the Louvre Museum.

There is speculation the cats involved in today's event could have been those who did not attend the party - or perhaps even a fringe group hired by the Pooses for Peace. Several people attending the event also claim to have seen a wolf roaming through the Boston Commons, however police believe it was possibly just a lost husky.

In other Boston and local news the wolf known as Osa a resident of the Ipswich Wolf Hollow reserve has been reported missing since this morning.

Happy Birthday Zevo hussein Calamari!

2010-04-14T08:00:00.000-04:00

Happy 17th birthday to our dear Queen of Snark.
We love you!
Thank you for being you.

There was a cat.....

2010-04-13T12:06:00.000-04:00

Associated Press
Montemarte, France

French police were called in to subdue a large crowd of drunken cats claiming to be friends of Nicole Kidman, wearing tiaras and top hats this evening at the Moulin Rouge. Authorities said the cats continued to sing "Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend" over and over until patrons of the Moulin Rouge handed over their jewelry.

Many cats were arrested, but all escaped in the middle of the night. No one is sure how they pulled off such a stunt. Authorities are certain that there must be a few cats with thumbs involved. None of the jewelry has been recovered.

Donatella Versace Dresses Celebrity Cats

2010-04-12T10:02:00.000-04:00

Ciao bella gatti!

Potrai così guardare piuttosto indossando Versace couture.
You will look so pretty wearing Versace couture.

A te darò e tutti i tuoi amici vestiti per la festa di compleanno
I will give you and all your friends clothes for the birthday party.

Si prega di portare questi alcuni gatti dolce prosciutto e del vino
Please bring these sweet cats some ham and wine.

Baci per tutti !
Ciao ciao
Donatella

Les Chats ont Défilé Pour la Paix The Pooses for Peace Parade

2010-04-11T13:00:00.000-04:00

Countless cats wearing top hats, tiaras and berets paraded down the Avenue des Champs Elysee at dusk today. The eco-friendly parade was hosted by the Pooses for Peace to celebrate Zevomas. Carla Bruni led the parade along with the celebrity cats on solar powered Vespas.

The Pooses for Peace have led other parades on Vespas. In Salem MA it is tradition that the cats lead the Haunted Happenings Parade to kick off the Halloween Season. In Salem they are known as the Gatti della Strega sui Vespas,

Celebrities, Bono, Audrey Tautou, Nicole Kidman, Bette Midler were seen riding in hybrid cars in the parade. Johnny Depp made a grand appearance on a pirate themed float along with Pastafarians (devotees of the Flying Spaghetti Monster ) dressed in pirate attire.

Ex-presidential candidate Cheysuli along with Al Gore waved from a solor powered Smart. The Bite & Run Brigades, (to numerous to name) marched in the parade wearing their formal uniforms. Unconfirmed sources reported seeing 2 corgis on the Give Ireland Back to the Irish float. Paul McCartney was also spotted on the float.

Thousands of Parisians watched the parade screaming "Vive les chats!" and throwing biodegradable confetti. The parade ended with a fireworks display over the famed La Grande Roue (Ferris Wheel).

Carla Bruni sends Fire Truck to Save Cheysuli

2010-04-10T11:16:00.003-04:00

Associated Press
Paris France

BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!! Carla Bruni has just sent a legion of French fire trucks to rescue former US presidential candidate, professional napper Cheysuli from the top of the Arc de Triomphe in Paris. No one is quite sure how she got on top of the monument or why. There is some speculation she is proving that she can do anything and would be the best choice for the next Supreme Court justice appointment by the Obama administration.

Cheysuli and her entourage are in Paris to celebrate Zevomas. She regrets that she cannot be home with her pet human for her birthday- the same day as celebrity cat Zevo hussein Calamari.
Chey was overheard saying: "I must maintain my public image and celebrity status. There is another Supreme Court opening soon. One never knows if this could be it for me!"

Celebrities Arrive in Paris for Zevomas

2010-04-10T06:00:00.000-04:00

Hordes of cats, dogs, skunks and celebrities have been pouring into Paris over the past few days to celebrate Zevomas. Most of the guest are staying at the Ritz Carlton.

Paparazzi have been hoping for glimpses of Sandra Bullock who is rumored to be staying with the celebrity cats. Johnny Depp sans wife Vanessa Paradis has also been seen drinking wine at a local cafe near the Louvre. Mrs Depp refused to be a part of the celebration. She claims the cats bit her again while they were staying with the Depps in their French villa.

Other celebrities seen walking the streets of Paris today were Donatella Versace and Gwyenth Paltrow. Versace will be providing the cats with couture to wear at both the Moulin Rouge and Louvre parties.

Feline celebrities have been seen shopping and dining on cheese and tuna pate. Cheysuli and Gemini, The infamous Meezers and Daisy the Curly cat are just a few. (please forgive us for not html-ing tonight)

Today at a Zevomas Press conference Bono issued this statement: "I am honored to be invited to Zevo's birthday gala. I had so much fun at the Casino Calamari last year. (Though I still cannot find my favorite pair of sunglasses I wore that night.)

It will be a pleasure to be with all her friends, too numerous to name and to once again be with those who support the Pooses for Peace Foundation. I have chosen a very special gift for Zevo. The Edge and our band will be playing at the party. "

A Zevomas Tradition

2010-04-09T06:00:00.001-04:00

Ciao Bella!

It's Friday and here we are at the Ritz Carlton! We are still waiting for more of our guests to arrive all week The real fun happens next week. I am sure we will find plenty to occupy our time for the next seven days. So many tourist attractions, shows and ankles to bite.

Since this is the second day of Zevomas i thought i would share how Zevo and i became best friends. I am sure many of you have heard this story... but it is tradition to tell it every year while sipping on expensive Champagne.

Zevo and her sister the Baby Pig were born in Escondido CA, under the bed of their pet human's dear friend Edie who was very ill. Their mother and aunt both gave birth the same night about 10 days before Edie passed away. The pet human already had 3 German Shepherds and 2 birds but decided to adopt Zevo (more like Zevo decided to adopt her!) and the Baby Pig walked up and sat on her lap- so she took both home with her.

A year later they left Escondido and moved to Hillcrest which is where my pet human and i live. (Her pet human and mine are friends. They met in acupuncture school... anyway that is beside the point! Ha! No pun intended!)

Zevo and her sister Baby Pig were working at The Bread & Cie Bakery. They were driving the truck and delivering bread. They hired a big white dog to help push the pedals on the truck. The bread was never delivered. They were all fired the first week. They went on to try other retail jobs. The Pig worked at a Cheese Shop and was fired for eating the profits. Zevo worked at Starbucks in Hillcrest and was accused of stealing tips and was "let go". She tried cutting hair for awhile but it was not a smart career choice for someone with paws. I am not sure what ever happened to the white dog.

One night they went to Hamburger Mary's for a few margaritas. I was there drowning my sorrows over losing my sequined flip flops at the beach that day. It was a warm summer night. Its a gay bar, so cats wearing tiaras drink for free. As fate would have it the magic of the margaritas took effect and by midnight we were all dancing on table tops and the bar. Of course, we immediately bonded under the influence of the Agave God and became the best of friends.

We also discovered that we were very good at "finding" expensive jewelry and other fine items that we were able to sell on the black market um, give away to charity. Thus began our reputation as cat burglars. Such an ugly phrase. We prefer to think of ourselves as modern day Robin Hoods... with tiaras.

I won't bore you with how we became celebrities and friends with Miss Lucy Fur, Madonna, Donatella, Johnny Depp, (bit his nasty French wife), arrested at the Vatican, dated George Clooney, met with Fidel Castro.... ... well i really don't want to brag so i will stop there.

Zevo and Baby Pig were forced moved to New England. Baby Pig who was the original founder for Pigs for Peace (now known as The Pooses for Peace) passed away a few years ago. We miss her dearly and her birthday would also be on Wednesday too. Before her passing they opened Brothel Calamari , Casino Calamari and Cinema Calamari. All successful businesses!

Zevo's pet humans thought she would be lonely so they adopted Nubi wan Kenobi. For the record she was not lonely and is still miffed they did not ask her permission. She tolerates him. They have since tricked Zevo and Nubi and adopted a kitty with thumbs and seven toes whose name is constantly changing. This week her name is Luna miso Poosie.. but we can't promise that it will stay that way.

This week will be the best birthday celebration ever. All pooses are welcome to stay with us at the Ritz. We have the entire hotel to ourselves and a few celebrities. We have invited Nicole Kidman, Ewin McGregor, Audrey Tautou, Gwyneth Paltrow, Johnny Depp and Oprah. (Unfortunately George Clooney is not invited since he has dumped me for a stink insect.) But ce la vie! His loss.

A pre-party will be held at our favorite Paris spot, the Moulin Rouge on Tuesday night. Nicole Kidman and Ewin McGregor will perform a bit from the movie Moulin Rouge. (and i am sure they will ask us to sing along!)

For all you who are attending the Birthday Gala at the The Louvre on Wednesday evening, Donatella Versace will be providing outfits for all. Shoes will be provided by Jimmy Choo, Prada and Manolo. You must bring your own tiaras and top hats.

Room service is here. Champagne anyone?
ciao for now
Miss Boo

It's Zevomas!

2010-04-08T06:00:00.000-04:00

The season of Zevomas starts today Thursday April 8, 2010 and ends with Zevo Calamari's birthday on Wednesday, April 14, 2010. This is a very big birthday for Zevo. (She will be ~~seventeen~~ ... um 10 so we like to keep her age a secret from the paparazzi.)

Once again, Zevo has requested to return to Paris for her birthday. Paris in the springtime is such a lovely way to celebrate with close friends.

The Pooses for Peace have planned a very special week for her and her friends in Paris. Miss Boo has booked the entire Ritz Carlton in Paris. Nubi wan Kenobi is in the process of planning an eco-friendly ticker tape parade. Miss Lucy Fur and i are planning parties at the Louvre and the Moulin Rouge

Parties and activities will be announced during the week.

All pooses are invited to this once in a life time extravaganza. Travel provided by the Pooses for Peace luxury airlines. ... for free!

Bring your own tiaras and top hats. Plenty of organic ham, tuna and chicken for all. Not to mention champagne fountains, Tequila, Strega and Pastis!

Donatella Versace will provide attire for all those who attend. A Nip-tini fountain has been placed in the Ritz Carlton for the entire week.

See you in Paris
Happy Zevomas!

love and kiss kiss,
miss boo
and the The Pooses for Peace

Does the Discovery Channel Need a Bite & Run Reminder?

2010-03-30T10:51:00.004-04:00

It is hard to believe that the Discovery Channel, those folks who bring us Animal Planet would consider giving Sarah Palin her own reality show about Alaska. This woman is responsible for the hunting of wolves and making it a sport. Killing wolves via helicopter. Maybe Animal Planet should show that!

We are not fans of Sarah Palin. No shock there... but politics aside, this woman should not be allowed on the Discovery Channel. She belongs on the FOX news network making up stories about communists being facists, etc....! (wink wink you betcha!)

We know that wolves would eat us if we were roaming the streets of Alaska. But this is not the point. We would eat mice if we saw them roaming! Help us keep Sarah Palin off of the Discovery Channel.

Here is a petition to the Discovery Channel for all those who are shocked by this news.

From the Defenders of Wildlife:

" This is unbelievable.

Discovery Communications has just announced that they’ll be producing a “reality TV” series starring Sarah Palin.

Yes — the same Sarah Palin who escalated Alaska’s war on wolves and offered a $150 bounty for the severed front-forelegs of dead wolves. The same Sarah Palin who fought against increased protections for America’s struggling polar bear populations. And the same Palin who fought against the increased protections for the dwindling Cook Inlet beluga whales.

I’m troubled that Discovery Communications — known for their stunning wildlife-focused productions — would choose to embrace such a controversial and anti-wildlife person as Sarah Palin to represent Alaska and the wildlife that lives there.

That’s why I’ve joined Defenders of Wildlife’s fight to get Discovery Communications to drop Sarah Palin’s new show, and I am hoping you will too.

Please sign the petition online at CLICK here!

Thanks for helping…

Pooses for Peace Issue Warning to US Idiots

2010-03-25T20:17:00.005-04:00

Associated Press
Pooses for Peace Secret Headquarters

Unconfirmed sources believe that the infamous domestic ~~terrorist~~ liberal feline group known as the Pooses for Peace have put their legions of Bite & Run Brigades on RED ALERT.

Spokes-poose Zevo hussein Calamari along with Miss Boo, Miss Lucy Fur and their entourage, legions of Bite & Run Brigades held a press conference from their undisclosed Pooses for Peace Headquarters. The cats have issued a terse warning today to those who have been fueling the fire of anger and violence since the signing of the Health Reform bill this week.

"KNOCK it off you idiots! Where were all of you when an illegal war was started 8 years ago by a chimp that put this country in debt? We are talking about health care here. ... keeping people healthy. Not weapons of mass destruction. Not tapping your phone lines, emails, and torture camps. Not running the national debt up every day to pay for Iraq, bailing out corrupt bankers, big business, tax breaks for those who don't pay taxes cause they are so rich they can afford teams of accountants! Breaks for BIG OIL........

Do you tea party people even know the difference between Marxist and Facist? Do you understand that they are not the same thing? Like dah! Even cats know the difference. Can you really be a communist and a facist at the same time? (Would Che Guevara be caught dead hanging out with Hitler or Mussolini?)

This is 2010 people. Grow up. Treat others as you would want to be treated- with respect. You can agree to disagree. Sit down and discuss it. But lying, name calling, spitting, shooting out windows, death threats and violence will only lead to more. Please Act like civilized humans. Even we animals know better.

DON'T MAKE US COME TO WASHINGTON!!!!!!!
The Pooses for Peace
Bite & Run Brigades
Poop & Run Brigades
Poot & Run Brigades
Whap & Run Brigades
Scratch & Run Brigades

Party O'Pooses

2010-03-17T10:21:00.001-04:00

Come join us at Hamburger O' Marys (located inside Casino O'Calamari's)
in Salem for a St Patty's Day party.
5:00 pm-?
wear green

Tickets are still available for this event.

Call 1-800-Boo-Zevo. Have your credit card ready!

May the Tuna dish rise up to meet you,
Zevo O' Calamari and the Pooses O'Peace

Salem Welcomes the Flying Spaghetti Monster

2010-03-14T18:00:00.000-04:00

Associated Press

Salem MA

Salem residents woke up to a visit from the Flying Spaghetti Monster this morning. The infamous domestic terrorist group known as the Pooses for Peace unveiled the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster along with its restaurant The Holy Spaghetti Factory and its famed Volcanic Beer Bar. A pirate themed boutique along with free underground parking for patrons is also one of the luxuries of this latest establishment.

Jimmy Buffett and the Coral Reefers joined the celebrity cats in the Grand Opening of the Volcanic Beer Bar.

The cats are devout Pastafarians who believe in the deity the Flying Spaghetti Monster . Pastafarians dress as pirates on Holy Days and quote from the Gospel of the Holy Spaghetti Monster. Friday is a Holy Day.

Because the celebrity cats have the business listed as a nonprofit religious organization there will be no tax on the meals, drinks, nor will they be paying any taxes to the city of Salem.

The cats have been a thorn in the mayor of Salem's side ever since she was elected. .. and the last election results are still being questioned by

Zevo hussein Calamari who claims she won.

The cats have been blamed on several occasions for crimes such as stealing the tall ship known as the Friendship . It is rumored that the cats also own several other businesses in Salem such as the Casino Calamari, Cinema Calamari and a so called ~~Brothel Calamari~~

Not to be undone by her nemisis, Salem Mayor Kimberley Driscoll had a Spaghetti dinner in her honor at the Moose Lodge today. As advertised on facebook- anyone who showed up and mentioned they saw it on the social networking site could eat for free. Unconfirmed authorities are not sure how hundreds of homeless vagrants showed up for the feast.

Driscoll, fearing the cats would attempt another Bite and Run wore ankle and knee guards under her predictable black suit. Although she will not admit it- Kimberley Driscoll was touched by the Flying Spaghetti Monster at the Haunted Happenings Parade this past October. Click here if you don't remember that!

Extra security was called in as well, however no cats were seen at the Mayor's Spaghetti dinner. However the Mayor reports that her iphone and earrings are once again missing and blames the cats. "Those cats are a menace to Salem. I cannot tell you how many iPhones and earrings i have lost due to them. I will fight to charge tax on their meals and beverages. How dare they put an underground parking facility in without my permission. Now I will have to hire a consultant, lay off more teachers and firemen and raise taxes. Why is there red sauce on my suit and oh my gawd....what is that smell? Anyone have a can of Frebreeze? ack. .. ack...."

Spokes-poose Zevo Calamari issued a statment: " Salem residents.... May the Flying Spaghetti Monster touch you with his Noodly Goodness! RAmen!"

Cat Fight at the Oscars?

2010-03-08T16:19:00.004-05:00

Associated Press

Hollywood CA

Unconfirmed rumors are circulating through Tinsel Town today on why George Clooney looked so angry last night at the Oscars. Is George Clooney feuding with Alec Baldwin or did something else take place before the show began?

Clooney was thought to be engaged to celebrity feline Miss Boo, of the Pooses for Peace last year, however no one has confirmed if the couple had a tiff or separated. Last night Clooney showed up at the Oscars with Elilsabetta Canalis.

The Pooses for Peace Celebrity cats co-hosted the event along with Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin. Sources to terrified to be identified claim that when the cats realized Clooney was shunning Miss Boo by bringing a stink insect as a date, a cat fight ensued between Canalis and the Miss Lucy Fur, BFF to Miss Boo and Zevo Calamari. (Miss Lucy Fur is infamous for her temper. In the past restraining orders were filed against her by Dr Phil and a few republican pundits. She is said to be taking medication that is not effective when mixed with alcohol.)

Fortunately for Canalis, security (accustomed to celebrity fighting on the red carpet) broke up the fight and she had a spare gown in Clooney's limo. Her make up and hair was redone before the show. Her earrings are reported to be missing. Reports are being filed that celebrities who wore fur to the show were bit or scratched last night. No charges have been filed.

Last night Sandra Bullock lost her earrings. Other starlets are reporting lost bracelets, earrings and watches. Authorities are not concerned as most of the celebrities were drunk and dancing the night away. Anyone could have lost what they were wearing reported a security guard wearing what seemed to be a Jedi robe.

Pooses for Peace spokes-poose Zevo hussein Calamari was overheard this morning saying "Ooh my head..... ack ack the taste of stick insect is still in my mouth. um like.... What earrings? Pass that ginger ale please......... oh and watch where you step......... turn out the light too. Does this bracelet make me look fat?"