Hugo & Fidel....Viva Los Pooses!

AP
HAVANA, CUBA

Hugo Chavez and Fidel Castro are said to be in a top secret meeting with
Los Pooses de la Revolución.

The Pooses de la Revolucion are demanding free education, cigars and health-care for all pooses. Also discussed will be memorial for Che Guevara's cat to be built in the main square of Havana.

Rumor of a new night club, Hamburguesa Maria is being built in Havana. Unconfirmed sources said it will be run by celebrity Latino pooses.

The White House has no comment about the secret talks and issued a statement it will not negotiate with communist cats.

Poose-cam live from Cuba is brought to you by la tienda del calamari del planeta

soccer and sambuca

I am so hung over from this weekend. I finally got to talk sports with Keith Olbermann at his party. ... tho he hates soccer.... and i am a jedi soccer master. He didn't seem to care about that. What is with the baseball thing? Please... get a life. Soccer is way cooler.

I feel bad about his girlfriend's ankles. She should have worn boots and not slinky Manolos. I wonder if they will be able to get the blood off those straps?

asprin please....
love
nubi

Visit The Planet Calamari Shop

Special CNN Report

Breaking News on CNN
Live from the Situation Room with Wolf Blitzer

Tonight we will bring you information on the latest poose fad sweeping the nation...
Celebrity ankle biting.

Reports over the weekend poured in with news of Vanessa Paradis in San Diego and Keith Olbermann's girlfriend in Salem, MA both having their ankles bit at parties. Both have been admitted to the hospital for stitches and plastic surgery to their ankles.

In the past reports of Paris Hilton, Nichol Richie and others were also bit on the ankle. Authorities believe it may be poose gang related.

Unconfirmed sources claim that cats wearing tiaras have been biting the girlfriends of celebrity men for the past year. We will be interviewing some of these witnesses later on CNN, however their identity will remain anonymous and each will be given a free pair of boots for protection.

CNN brought to you by The Planet Calamari Shop

An Inconvenient Ankle

What a lovely party last night. Bonnie Raitt and her band were spectacular. That Al Gore can really dance. It would be so nice to have a president that could dance (and read!).

Johnny Depp brought his wife. She should have worn boots. Her ankle accidently got in my mouth. ...like that is my fault? She left in a French hissy fit. Socre blu'

The View girls are a blast to party with. Lucy Fur is going to be great on that show as a regular. Barbara Walters dances like Elaine on Seinfeld. That was sad to watch.

My pet human looked stunning in those Medici earrings. I will have to borrow them soon.

George and i had a lovely time but we decided it would be best if we were just friends being that we are both celebrities. It would be too hard to have a relationship with both our busy schedules. He gave me a wonderful pearl necklace.

I have not heard from Zevo yet about her party. Nubi called and said she is very hung over. I guess Keith Olbermann's girlfriend should have worn boots too.. same sort of accident with the ankles happened. What is with these women? Can't they keep their ankles away from an open mouth?


Someone please bring me a bloody mary and some asprin,
ciao ciao
boo
Visit The Planet Calamari Shop

Olbermann Birthday Countdown...

Send Keith a happy birthday email at countdown@msnbc.com
Send Boo's pet human a birthday email via zevo@planetcalamari.com

Entertainment Tonight will be at both parties hosted by celebrity pooses Zevo Calamari in at Casino Calamari and Miss Boo at Jeff's house in Hillcrest. This is the first time in poose history that these two could not attend the same party.

Visit The Planet Calamari Shop

the purr-fect gift

While shopping in Florence a few weeks back i picked up this painting and the jewelry that Maria de Medici is wearing in it. I thought it would make a lovely gift for my pet human's birthday. I think i will give it to her after the party tonight. Al Gore is here with those pesky secret service guys.

So much to do before tonight's party. I do hope George shows up early. I do so miss him....
Lucy Fur has invited all the girls from The View. Johnny Depp is flying in this afternoon. I do hope he left his wife and children at home. Bonnie Raitt is already here practicing with the band.

Should i wear Versace or Dolce Gabbana tonight?

ciao ciao
boo

Olbermann Birthday Wishes.....

LIVE FROM COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN
"Happy Birthday Princess Latkes! So sorry I can not attend your party tonight.
Zevo is throwing me a birthday bash at the Casino Calamari this evening and I have to stay on the east coast all week.
Oh.....tell Al to call me!
Good Night and Good Luck"

Coming up next...... Bill O'Reilly makes WORST PERSON OF THE YEAR.............

Brought to you by The Planet Calamari Shop

robin williams

Oh...i am so tired. I went to see Robin Williams last night in Boston with Emily and her friends. (Emily was in Aruba with Boo and i back in the summer.... she forgot about all the confusion concerning missing jewelry there! Humans have such short memories. My pet human loses her keys everyday in the house......)

Of course after the show we went backstage and then partied the rest of the night. Of course Robin only drinks sparkling water these days. I drank his share of champagne.... and invited him to Keith Olbermann's party this weekend. He already has plans..... too bad. He is so much fun to hang with.

Today i must go have my hair and nails done. I think i will get a massage too. I have to look stunning for Keith's party tomorrow night. If he brings that little girlfriend she better wear boots or ankle guards.

Someone please bring me some asprin and ginger ale....
ciao ciao
zevo

ps happy bubble wrap appreciation day!

Visit The Planet Calamari Shop

Countdown to George Clooney

Only a few more days until my pet human's party. Everything is almost under control. Lucy Fur is taking care of all the food and drink details. The entertainment is already lined up and the guests have all sent RSVPs. I do wish Zevo would cancel Keith O's party and come to this one.

Now i can spend some beauty time on moi ! I want to look and smell wonderful for George. Oh... i do hope he still loves me............

time to go get a mani & pedi,
ciao ciao
boo

you are invited....

So much to do... so little time. I wanted to have my pet human's party at Mo's...but now that i have invited Al Gore i think it is best we keep it a private event at Jeff's...don't want those wingnuts snapping pics at Mo's and then flashing them on FOX NEWS! I can only image the stupid rumors.

George is my date... and i was going to invite Brad.. but he won't attend without Angelina and those wretched kids... and who needs Angelina there with all those goegeous men? Best to cut out all competition.

Zevo has to stay in Salem since she is hosting the birthday party for Keith O.... Lucy Fur will be here of course to help. She talked Wolfgang into catering the event.

I need to find something extra snazzy to wear................ must call Donatella asap........
ciao ciao
boo

response to the state of the union speech

click here to see more

Visit The Planet Calamari Shop to see more peace loving art on wearables and unique gifts for the home & office

keith olbermann and snow

It is snowing and i have so much to do. Nubi is no help...he is outside making snow-cats with the squirrels.

Boo needs help planning her pet human's birthday party. Lucy Fur is on The View all week, I think Barbara Walters may ask her to be a regular.

I also have to help plan for Keith Olbermann's birthday party up in the casino this weekend. I am trying to talk Boo into combining both parties. Tho, i am not sure Keith is willing to have his at Mo's. I do hope he leaves his little girlfriend at home.

oops phone is ringing,
"Hello Keith!"
ciao ciao
zevo

Please shop at Planet Calamari ... i need a new pair of Manolos by the weekend.....

happy squirrel appreciation day

Today is Squirrel Appreciation day according to the Wierd Holidays calendar. I would like to thank all the squirels that visit me everyday on the balcony. I have become great friends with Squirrelita and Senor Squirrel. We like to do shots of tequila and drink Coronas at lunch. They are so much fun to hang with. ...way more fun than Zevo's glitteratti pack of friends.

Tme for a shot,
Ole'
nubi wan kenobi jedi poose

Visit The Planet Calamari Shop

Paris Hilton & Nicole Richie report missing sunglasses...

Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie were forced to go without sunglasses today. Unconfirmed sources say the two were out partying last night at a famous club in Boston and claim that their Christian Dior glasses have been missing since.

Boston Police commented that they are much too busy with real crime to pursue a search for the missing glasses.

Coincidentally in New York, Donald Trump's hairpiece is rumored to be missing. In Baltimore, Cal Ripken Jr. has reported a missing case of Natty Boh and his Oriole baseball hat.

Authorities do not believe any of these crimes are connected with one another.

Poose-cam live on the east coast brought to you by Visit The Planet Calamari Shop

interesting blogs

My pet human is trying to figure out how the technorati linking works...
Here are some of our favorite blogs!

astrodynamics.blogspot.com
fourpawsk9acupuncture.blogspot
MyAcuDoc.blogspot.com
dailybreadjournal.com
acu-punk.blogspot.com
crooksanliars.com
scribblesfromplanetcalamari.blogspot.com

may the force be with you
Nubi Wan Kenobi Jedi Poose

happy birthday christian dior!

In honor of Christian Dior's birthday i have borrowed a few pairs of these stunning vintage Dior glasses for my friends and i to wear all day.

ciao ciao
zevo

“Zest is the secret of all beauty. There is no beauty that is attractive without zest.” - Christian Dior

The Planet Calamari Shop for out of this world wearable art!

Visit the Acu-Punk Cafe for unique wearables for acupuncturists and cool stuff for the acupuncture office.

How to Make a Snow Cat

Zevo fired me for booking Charo at the Casino. It is not my fault the only words she can say are Cuchi Chuchi....

At least she let me keep my job as a bouncer.

So now i am bored and surfing the net. Look at the cool link i found on how to make a snow cat. www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Snow-Cat

Trump fires back

AP
New York

Donald Trump has threatened to sue Miss Lucy Fur unless she takes back her comments. "My hair is not made of the fur of dead mice. She will be hearing from my lawyers."

Unconfirmed sources claim that Rosie O' Donnell has sent Miss Lucy Fur a dozen roses and offered her lawyer's services if they are needed. Barbara Walters has invited Miss Lucy Fur to be a guest next week on The View.

Trump is said to be concerned about his art collection and has hired extra security guards with added security cameras at Trump Towers.

Poose-cam live from Trum Towers brought to you by The Planet Calamari Shop

Lucy Fur takes on The Donald

Trying to shake my jet lag from Italia, (Pietro was deeeevine, by the way) but it was worth it to come home to take on The Donald. I've found out that his comb over is really the fur of dead mice and he is nothing but a phony. I've heard he has an art collection in Trump Tower, but I've never seen it for real. Maybe a field trip, eh girls??

Meanwhile......I'm still dreaming of dear Pietro and trying to catch up on my cat naps.

Ciao and Kiss Kiss,
Lucy Fur

Visit The Planet Calamari Shop

Lucy Fur on Ellen today!

Today on the Ellen Show....

Special guest Miss Lucy Fur tells her side of the story in the on going battle with Donald Trump and all about the cute boys in Florence!

With musical guest Justin Timberlake!

The winner of "Who will host the Oscars with Ellen" will be announced today..... stay tuned......

Poose-cam live from LA brought to you by The Planet Calamari Shop

What Art?

Ciao,
It is good to be home. We all decided to best to quickly catch a red-eye last night home. Too many Italian police with guns roaming the streets. Rumor has it the statue of David and some paintings are missing.... plus some jewelry. hmmmmmmmmmm

Plus i was so tired of the hearing "I gatti più cari, ci interferiscono prego quei ratti per." ( Dearest cats, please catch those rats for us.) Really... like we don't have better things to do at the Uffuzi than chase mice.

Boo and Lucy Fur are back in San Diego. I have so much to do here. I let Nubi run the business and i can't get Charo to leave. Plus i am redecorating. Now... where should i put that statue?

ciao ciao
zevo
Visit The Planet Calamari Shop

Florence Attacked by Art Thieves

CNN
Italian officals have declared a state of emergency. All museums in Florence have been closed until futher notice and will reopen when the masterpieces stop disappearing. As of tonight, Michelangelo's replica of David, Botticelli's Birth of Venus, a few da Vinci paintings and jewelry from the Medici family are all missing.

Police are stunned how anyone could pull off such a daring impossible feat. Rewards are being offered for any information.

On a happier note, museum officials have noticed that more stray cats have been seen roaming the halls of the museum and are hoping it will solve the rat problem in the basement.

la Poose-camma è portata voi vicino The Planet Calamari Shop

Charo comes to Casino Calamari

Since Zevo has left me in charge of running the casino and the brothel i have decided to book Charo for this week's show. Today is her birthday so there will be a special Cuchi Cuchi performance at the Casino Calamari.

Tao and Sarge from Baltimore are here to help out. Sarge did bring a case of Natty Boh. I do hope they hired legal poose substitutes this time. That whiney Lou Dobbs is always complaining about illegal poose aliens working and taking American pooses' jobs. He should come see Charo and chill out.

Zevo should be home soon. It was hard to hear what she was saying on the phone... something about making room for a statue and new art for her office?

Oh... Charo's limo just pulled up!
cuchi cuchi
nubi wan kenobi

Poose-cam live from Salem brought to you by The Planet Calamari Shop

Botticelli painting missing from Uffizi

AP
Florence, Italy

Italian officials are now in a panic. The Birth of Venus by Sandro Botticelli is missing from The Uffizi. This is the second day in a row that a masterpiece has been stolen in Florence. Polizia are baffled on how anyone could get in and out of the Uffizi with a painting.

No suspects have been annouced. The men who were committed to the mental institution for seeing cats with tiaras were released early Sunday morning with a warning not to drink in excess again. Security cameras at The Uffuzi did pick up three cats roaming the halls. They were thought to be strays. No tiaras were found.

la Poose-camma è portata voi vicino The Planet Calamari Shop

Statue of David Missing

AP
Florence, Italy
Michelangelo's statue of David in front of Palazzo Vecchio was missing this morning. Italian authorities are baffled how anyone could have pulled off such a daring stunt.

Two inebriated locals claim to have seen three cats wearing tiaras in a truck near the scene of the crime around 4 am. Both men were placed in a mental hospital for evaluation.

A reward for 2 million dollars is offered to anyone who can retrieve the statue and bring it back.

la Poose-camma è portata voi vicino The Planet Calamari Shop

technorati spiders are attacking

Technorati Profile

releasing techno spiders for zevo
love
nubi wan kenobi jedi blogmaster

Ciao Florence !

Ciao Ciao,
We decided it would be nice to go to Florence for a mini holiday. George has been such a wonderful host, but he had to leave to film another movie. Poor Boo is heartbroken that he did not bring her along. I do hope he sends her flowers for valentines day. He did let us borrow his limo for the trip. We are staying at the Hotel Plaza Lucchesi, thanks to Lucy Fur's connections with all those famous chefs.

I think we may go visit The Uffizi. I could sure use some nice artwork up in my office. So many nice jewelry shops too..... and so many women wearing lots of gold. That should cheer Boo up.

Lucy Fur has been riding through the streets on a new vespa with some cute Italian guy, so i guess she is way too busy to look at art today. Then again, the guy does look so much like that David statue in the square...

Time for vino,
ciao ciao
zevo

La Poose-camma è portata voi vicino The Planet Calamari Shop

Where is Barney Bush?

AP
Washington DC
In a press conferance this morning Tony Snow denied that Barney Bush was checked into the Betty Ford Center, denied that he was guilty of stealing the mayor of Salem's palm pilot and earrings, denied that he dresses in drag, denied the existance of celebrity cats Zevo Calamari, Miss Boo, Lucy Fur et all....
He has also denied that an Airforce One helicopter flew over Salem's City Hall the other night. The USA denies any proof of UFOs however is investigating reports of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Mr. Snow did however confirm the existance of WMDs, terrorist pooses and the conspiracy lies about global warming made up by liberals.

Poose-cam live from DC brought to you by Visit The Planet Calamari Shop

Barney Bush checks in the Betty Ford Center

AP
Unconfirmed sources report that Barney Bush has checked into the Betty Ford Center late last night. Barney blames his latest rash of stealing on alcohol abuse. No comment has been made from the White House.

Tony Snow has denied that Barney is in a 12 step program at this morning's press conference. He has also said it is just a coincident that the Mayor of Salem's earrings and palm pilot were mysteriously returned last night.

Salem residents claim to have seen an Air Force One helicopter flying over City Hall last evening. Others reported to have seen a small UFO. One tiny group of Pastafarians claim it was the Great Flying Spaghetti Monster and they were blessed by his noodley appendage.

Poose-cam live from Salem Visit The Planet Calamari Shop

The War on Barney Bush

Today on the O'Reilly Factor
Liberal pooses accused Barney Bush of stealing the diamond earrings and palm pilot belonging to the mayor of Salem.
George Clooney and his merry band of celebrity pooses have now claimed to have proof that Barney Bush is the culprit of these deeds. Once again, this is just Hollywood liberals trying to put the blame on innocent conservative pooses so close to our dear fearless Decider.

First they start a war on Christmas, now these heathens dare to start a war on patriotic Barney Bush. I hear these wild liberals are in Italy, drinking and dancing when they should be here, in the USA shopping at Wal-mart, working at a fast food chain and attending church.

I am Bill O'Reilly... bringing you fair and balanced news and what I say is always right.

FOX NEWS is not brought to you byThe Planet Calamari Shop

Please Do Not Disturb

Stiamo distendendo dal Como del Lago su un pomeriggio pieno di sole.
Desiderio eravate qui,
amore,
i gatti di celebrity

Translation :We are relaxing by Lake Como on a sunny afternoon. Wish you were here, Love,
the celebrity cats
Questo messaggio è portato voi vicino il boutique di calamari del pianeta

La Befana visits George Clooney

AP
Lake Como, Italy
Unconfirmed sources claim that celebrity pooses Miss Boo, Zevo Calamari and Lucy Fur are staying with George Clooney at his Villa Oleandra. The pooses will be staying there until lawyers can clear Miss Boo of charges of stealing a palm pilot and diamond earrings belonging to the mayor of Salem. Miss Boo has denied the charges and claims to be wrongly accused.

There has been no comment from Mr Clooney today since it is a holiday in Italy known as Epiphany. On the eve of this holiday it is customary to leave shoes or socks out near a fireplace or in the kitchen so that La Befana can fill them with treats and trinkets. Staff at the Villa report seeing 3 pairs of Jimmy Choo shoes by the fireplace last night.

click here to read more on Wikipedia about La Befana

Poose-cam live from Lake Como brought to you by il boutique di calamari del pianeta

Safe in Italy

Ciao ciao girls,
I guess you heard thru the grape vine that i am staying at George's villa until his lawyers help me sort out this mess. Really...if i were to steal a palm pilot it would belong to someone who had better phone numbers stored in it. And those earrings were mine! I "found" them on Cinco de Mayo.... remember?

Why don't you two hop a plane and come visit? You know there is plenty of room, limoncella and parties. It would be so much fun.

Lucy Fur, if you could be a dear and bring some of my new Versace that Donatella gave me, and Zevo darling, please bring some extra Manolos. I want to look my best for George. Oh and could you pay my substitute for me?

grazie!
boo

And now for a word from our sponsor

Do you speak feline? Habla gato? Parle vous chat? Some people can speak fluent feline, vets, zoo keepers, cat psychics, magicians, a few children, modern day Dr Dolittles and of course all cat lovers. These designs are available on clothing for adults, children and dogs as well as cool gifts for the home and office.
click here to see more

Please stock up on several items so i can go visit Boo in Italy soon.
love,
zevo
p.s. Planet Calamari also has the same designs for dog lovers... but i would prefer you buy the cat ones.

Visit The Planet Calamari Shop

Breaking News

NEWS ALERT

FBI agents stormed the home of celebrity poose Miss Boo last evening in hopes of finding the stolen diamond earrings and palm pilot belonging to the Mayor of Salem. Agents were shocked when Miss Boo's pet human calmly said "What cat?" and then offered them a bowl of lentil soup. Unconfirmed sources claim that after that the agents stayed for acupuncture treatments and left the house feeling refreshed and calm, but without earrings, palm pilot or cat.

Rumors are that Miss Boo has fled to Italy to stay with George Clooney until the matter is resolved. Mr. Clooney has no comment.

The News is brought to you by The Planet Calamari Shop

So many numbers.. so little time

This palm pilot just appeared in my purse at the New Year's Eve party. I sooooo needed one to plan my busy schedule. Oh... and there are phone numbers already entered in it to help me....
hmmmmm ........Governor who? Senator K??????? City of Salem Police................ these all sound so familar. But there are no GOOD numbers in this. Guess i will have to add Oprah's, Johnny's and Renee's myself.

George Clooney already gave me his number. I do hope he invites me to Italy for Valentines Day.. Can you believe he kissed me?
ciao ciao
boo
Visit The Planet Calamari Shop

What earrings?

These old things? What i had these since... well like... forever....
love
boo

p.s George Clooney is such a great dancer..... and he kissed me at midnight. I am so in love.

NEWS FLASH

AP
SALEM, MA

The Mayor of Salem has asked for her diamond earrings to be returned as soon as possible. No questions will be asked and no charges will be filed. The earrings have been missing since the Halloween Poose Ball. Unconfirmed sources claim the mayor blames a few of the attendees to the ball.

The Mayor did not attend the New Year's Eve grand opening of Hamburger Mary's. She said she will boycott the restaurant owned by celebrity pooses until her earrings are returned.

The city of Salem is still recovering from the influx of celebrities and pooses over the weekend. However local business owners said they made more money this weekend than they did in October during the Halloween madness and welcome the new restaurant.

This news is brought to you by The Planet Calamari Shop

happy birthday nubi wan kenobi

What a great birthday i am having. Last night was so much fun... those Jedi can sure party! And Bonnie Raitt flirted with me the whole night.

The party lasted until very early this morning. Hopefuly the mayor will not find out. We invited the police in for donuts and dancing at 2 am and Boo and Lucy Fur changed the clocks to 9pm. No one seemed to notice.

Zevo is so hung over today.I guess i will be nice to her since she did let me come to the party last night... well ok, i did have to work but i still had fun.

My pet humans gave me a dog bed for a present. I am so happy they understand my needs. Time for a nap,

love
nubi wan kenobi jedi poose

Visit The Planet Calamari Shop

Jedi make surprise visit to Gala

Qui Gon Jin and Obi Wan Kenobi made a guest appearance last night at the Hamburger Mary's Grand Opening as the E Street Band sang happy birthday to Nubi Wan Kenobi. Miss Zevo Calamari thought it would be a nice gesture for her new roomate and newly employed bouncer.

Unconfirmed sources claim that the party is still going on. Although the mayor of Salem has insisted that she was promised by the owners it would end at 2 am.

The mayor did not attend and has demanded that her diamond earrings that were "lost" at the Halloween Poose Ball be returned at once. No questions will be asked and no charges will be made if they are returned immediately.

No other details of the gala are available at this time.

Poose-cam live from Salem brought to you by The Planet Calamari Shop