Festivus Eve Rantings

I am preparing my list of grievances for tomorrows Feast of Festivus. Do you like my Holiday Hut? It's not bad for a recycled Cafepress box. I think it should be filled with more cat nip and several more birdie toys. I suppose i will have to add these things to my list.





As you can see our tree is only decorated with a tiny strand of lights and a Flying Spaghetti Monster tree topper. I helped make that. However during the entire time the pet human was crocheting his Noodly appendages she kept screaming "Nubi stop eating the yarn! STOP IT NOW!". This shall be one of my grievances on the list.

The pet humans will not put any presents under the tree since we like to eat the ribbon then puke it up at 3;00 am. (That will be another one of my grievances... the lack of ribbon to eat!) Oh and they won't put tinsel or anything else we could eat or whap on the tree. So unfair.

While i am making out the list i would like to add the following grievances:

I do not like that the female pet human leaves for several hours each day. She should stay home and nap with me.

The male pet human should feed me more and allow me to go outside without supervision.

I do not think it is fair that Zevo has seniority over me. Just because she has been with them for 15 years and i have only been with them for 2 is just not right.

I think they should buy me some real birds to chase around the house this Christmas instead of the fake birdie toys.

I should be paid $5 every time they scream "Nubi get down off of that_________!"(fill in the blank) Then i could retire and buy a much better holiday hut somewhere warm with real birds.

I do NOT appreciate the female pet human's singing ...especially when she sings the "Smelly Cat" song while cleaning the cat box. Nor do i appreciate her calling me a "poose-head" when i am causing trouble.

I have many more complaints...but it is my nap time.

Wishing everyone a Happy Festivus for the rest of us.

love,

nubi wan kenobi, Jedi poose

p.s. Join us tomorrow for our annual Festivus party at the Casino Calamari.