Planet Calamari Zazzle shop

2009-06-29

Happy Birthday Luna diPoosalita

Today is Luna diPoosalita's 2nd birthday. We will have a small gathering tonight with a tuna platter and a round of chase the laser light. A low key event after the weekend partying with Jimmy Buffett!

happy birthday little miss BIG foot!!!!!!!

2009-06-25

Pooses for Peace Sing With Jimmy Buffett

AP
TWEETER CENTER MA

This evening hordes of cats, dogs and a few skunks poured into the Tweeter Center dressed in Parrothead attire to welcome Jimmy Buffett back to New England. The cats crawled under fences and climbed trees avoiding those taking tickets at the entrance gates. The dogs got in by pretending to be guide dogs even though most were wearing hawaiian shirts. Skunks were not questioned.

Buffett is friends with the leaders of the Pooses for Peace and has performed at the Casino Calamari on several occasions. It was no surprise to most of the Parrotheads in the crowd that celebrity cats Zevo Calamari, Miss Boo and Miss Lucy Fur ran on stage with Jimmy to sing backup vocals to Margaritaville. (The national anthem for the Pooses for Peace) The trio wore matching tiaras with parrot feathers, coconut bras and grass skirts with catnip flowered leis.

Other members of the Pooses for Peace on stage included Nubi wan Kenobi in a floral jedi robe singing harmony, Bubba, Tao and Sarge played the steel drums. Monkay and Luna the thumbed duo played bongos, ex-presidential candidate Cheysuli along with all her Meezer friends and fan club (too numerous to name or try to use html!) danced along with the Coral Reefer Band.

As always the concert was a good time for all. Before the last song of the evening Mr Buffett said. " I want to thank my friends the Pooses for Peace for their hard work in helping to elect our new President and for their effort and bravery while conducting their Bite & Runs. Lets hear it for the Pooses for Peace out there!"

Unconfirmed sources believe that Buffett, his band and hundreds of cats, dogs and maybe skunks are at the Casino Calamari in Salem MA for an after party. Jimmy Buffett has requested that the cats and their friends return for this Saturday's concert at the Tweeter Center.

In other Salem News, the Farmers Market opened at the Old Town Hall Square on Thursday. An undisclosed source has reported that Mayor Kimberly Driscoll wore ankle and knee guards underneath her signature black drab suit to the opening ceremony as a precaution. Driscoll received an anonymous note earlier this week saying "Thursday...Be Green, Wear Green or Else. No incident of a Bite & Run has been reported. However a parrot was reported flying overhead screaming "Black Suit AHHHH Black Suit Aaaaa...." Mayor Driscoll thinking it was the parrot of Capt Jack Sparrow swooned, and fainted. She is in stable condition and no jewelry has been reported missing.

2009-06-19

Bono Invites Pooses for Peace on Pub Crawl


ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT!

This just in from the Emerald Isle........ Rock legend Bono has invited all members of the Pooses for Peace to join him in a pub crawl tomorrow night in Dublin. This Pub Crawl will be known as the Pubs for Peace Crawl.

Celebrity cats Zevo Calamari, Miss Boo, Miss Lucy Fur have been seen walking the streets of Dublin today wearing emerald tiaras and Bono sunglasses. (Unconfirmed sources report that Bono gave the cats their own sunglasses so that his would not disappear.) The cats and their entourage will be staying with Bono at his castle. Authorities are still keeping close tabs on the cats until the mystery of Lindsay Lohan's jewels is solved. As of now there is no proof the cats had any part in the theft.

Hordes of cats have been pouring into the city all day. Other celebrity cats who are members of the Pooses for Peace, too numerous to name are also taking part of the festivities. Rumors are flying through Merry Ole' that Her Majesty's missing corgis are also taking part in the crawl.

Next up on Entertainment Tonight - Lindsay Lohan declares war on the Pooses for Peace. Stay tuned........

2009-06-16

Jewels missing after Lindsay Lohan photo shoot


LONDON (Reuters) - Diamond jewels worth around 250,000 pounds ($410,000) have gone missing after a London photo shoot involving U.S. actress Lindsay Lohan, British police said Tuesday. "Officers from Westminster police are investigating an allegation of theft of jewelry from studios in Brewery Road, Islington," the police said in a statement.

British media said the jewels were made by Dior and loaned to Elle magazine for the shoot in north London on June 6.

"The theft was reported to a central London police station on 8 June 2009 after earrings and a necklace, believed to be diamond and estimated to be worth in the region of 250,000 pounds, were found to be missing approximately two days earlier. A security guard has reported a decrease in mice in the vicinity."

The police said there had been no arrests, and that they would be interviewing several people in connection with their inquiry. Unconfirmed sources believe that the missing jewels are the work of the infamous Pooses for Peace celebrity cats.

The leaders of the group, Miss Zevo Calamari, Miss Boo and Miss Lucy Fur along with their entourage, were all in London the past week shooting for Vougue magazine. They are friends of Donatella Versace and will be featured in the Fall issue wearing her latest couture. Paparazzi overheard Zevo complaining that her pet human has been neglecting the Adventures of Zevo Calamari & Boo blog because she needs a new computer. Authorities are not sure if this is the motive for the theft or if the two are connected.

The cats and Lindsay Lohan have had a turbulent past. Lohan has accused the cats of the perpetrators of BIte & Run attacks on several occasions while she was wearing fur. She claims the cats also stole her designer sunglasses and jewelry in the attack of 2008.

British authorities believe the Queen's missing corgis are also in London with the celebrity cats and hope to retrieve them soon for Her Majesty.

Zevo Calamari issued a statement "What jewelry? Lindseeee Who? Do you think this Versace strapless makes me look fat? Pass me that flask please, i have the taste of stink insect in my mouth......."

2009-06-03

In Loving Memory

Our dearest leader of the Poop and Run brigade, Lady aka Poopalina has crossed over the rainbow bridge today. She was a dear sweet poose and will be missed by all.

We send healing thoughts and much love to her pet humans, Pamela, Doug and Julian and her roomates Stoli, Tao and Sarge.

Dog is God spelled backwards. She is now a Divine Canine.

love
zevo and the pooses for peace

President Obama to Give Commencement Speech!


The Calamari Institute of Professional Biting is proud to announce that this year's commencement speech will be delivered by President Obama. The Pooses for Peace and their legions of brigades helped Obama win the presidency. He has remained a loyal friend to the cats. Many believe the cats are now advisors to the White House.

Graduation will take place this Saturday at the campus. A party will follow that evening at the Casino Calamari

For security purposes, the location of this fine university has always been kept a secret. The Secret Service will be present at this event, but are not worried that any wingnut protesters or paparazzi will be able to find the hidden school. Only the cats, dogs and skunks who attended the school or are part of the Pooses for Peace brigades will be allowed in.

The Institute also known as Bite U teaches how to bite ankles, knees and other fun human parts. Accelerated classes include the art of covert biting. Many of the graduates have gone on to bite celebrities and many politicians, such as Mike Huckabee, Mittens Romney, Ann Coulter, Dick Cheney, The Bush twins, Nicole Richie, P Diddy, Karl Rove, Paris Hilton, Dr Phil and countless others.

Unconfirmed sources claim that Bo the First Dog will be among the graduates and will be presented as an honored member of the Pooses for Peace Bite & Run Brigade.

The graduation party details will be announced later this week.

On another note... Miss Zevo Calamari has issued a statement"We regret that we have not been able to visit many other blogs and leave comments. Our pet human still owns a dinosaur mac. We hope that soon part of the government bail out money can be sent to acupuncturists who need new macs! Oh do you think this graduation gown makes me look fat? Pass me that flask please........"

2009-06-02

Weapons of Mass Destruction



Meet our newest member of the Pooses for Peace!

Luna Poosalita aka Thumbalina is now a graduate of The Calamari Institute of Biting. Miss Poosalita lives with Zevo Calamari and Nubi wan Kenobi at the Casa de Calamari.

Luna has completed all basic Bite & Run, Poop & Run requirements and is the first freshman of the Institute to complete the advanced courses taught by Monkay, the thumbed poose. Luna and Monkay (the only thumbed pooses in our brigades) will be assigned to all covert escape assignments in the future.

The Graduation ceremony for the Calamari Institute of Biting will take place this Saturday. A party will follow. All pooses are invited!

2009-05-29

Prince Harry Attempts to Outsmart Pooses for Peace

Prince Harry was seen hiding behind a magnolia tree in hopes of kidnapping the Queen's fugitive corgis.

The corgis were seen with the infamous Pooses for Peace celebrity cats on a shopping spree today in New York. The Queen has accused the cats of enticing her corgis to flee England to live in California. Miss Lucy Fur has been dating one of the corgis on and off for two years.

Under the guise of visiting Hanover Square today, the prince had hoped he could lore the corgis back to merry Ole' as a gift for his Queen grandmother.

Unconfirmed sources report that three cats wearing tiaras offered to take Harry to a pub and later the Prince was seen dancing on table tops along with the cats. The corgis were said to have fled back into hiding.

Her Majesty has not released a statement, however a shrill HARRY IS DOING WHAT AND WHERE ARE MY BLOODY DOGS ???? was heard coming from the palace.

2009-05-25

Happy Towel Day


from Wikipedia
towelday

"Towel Day is celebrated every May 25 as a tribute by fans of the late author Douglas Adams. The commemoration was first held in 2001, two weeks after his death on May 11, 2001. On this day, fans carry a towel with them during the day to demonstrate their participation and mourning of the author. The towel is a reference to Adams's popular science fiction comedy series The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy."

In honor of Douglas Adams we will be wearing our towels all day and reciting passages from his books.

Tonight Cinema Calamari will be showing the movie The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. All pooses are invited.
We will be serving Pangalactic Gargleblasters and mice crepes. Please bring your own towel.
So long and thanks for all the fish!
xoxoxo

2009-05-21

Professor Lucy Fur Dares You!

Attention!

My BFF Oprah has decided that we should have an advanced certificate program for the Bite & Run program and she will underwrite the first year's expenses.

Any takers? One of our first challenges will be "How to bite & run while carrying a margarita in your paw".

I think we have a winner here!

Kiss Kiss,

Miss Lucy Fur

2009-05-20

In loving memory of Georgia



Georgia, sister to Chey and Gemini crossed over the bridge last night. Please say a little prayer for her and her family.

Her spirit lives on. Good Bye dearest poose.

If you would like to send your condolences please visit their site www.chey.mysiamese.com

2009-05-19

Professor Monkay


Professor Monkay reminds students to bring their own locks to pick for the first class and don't forget to do the Extra Credit assignment of finding the floor-plan to your nearest animal experiment farm!


Good news for all those pooses who requested continuing education classes! We will be offering accelerated learning seminars for those who want to master the skill of Biting while running, Poop & Run Tactics and the ever popular Poot & Run class. We are hoping to bring in guest professionals such as Cheysuli, The Meezers Miles & Sammy, and Billy. (we are sorry we cannot do html on this gremlin filled ibook today )

2009-05-18

Join the Bite & Run Patrol

Graduates of the Calamari Institute for Professional Biting

Looking for a a new career? The Calamari Institute for Professional Biting is now accepting applications for the Summer semester. Learn how to bite ankles, knees and other fun human parts. Study the art of covert biting. Our graduates have gone on to bite celebrities and many politicians, such as Ann Coulter, Dick Cheney, Nicole Richie, P Diddy, Karl Rove, Paris Hilton and others we are not permitted to mention (or admit to)

Be a part of the prestigious Bite & Run Patrol which has been making headline news. This summer our list of professors include Covert Operations Biter, Lucy Fur, best known for her biting debut with Dick Cheney and Dr Phil.

Also teaching celebrity biting will be Zevo Calamari and Miss Boo. Both are famous for biting Paris Hilton, Vanessa Paradis (wife of Johnny Depp), and Toby Keith and the whiney country chick with the red hair.

Other professors include Martial arts instructor Tao and her sidekick Sarge. Nubi wan Kenobi will be teaching Jedi theory on how to use the force during a bite attack.

Our guest professor for this semester, Monkay the thumbed cat will be teaching the fine art of picking locks and opening doors for speedy get-aways.

Hurry... operators are standing by. Call now to sign up before classes are filled. In a few months you to will be a part of THE BITE & RUN PATROL!

1-800-CAT-BITE hablamos espanol

2009-05-11

In Memory of Douglas Adams

Douglas Noel Adams
11 March 1952 – 11 May 2001

In honor of Douglas Adams we will be reciting Volgon poetry and watching
The HitchHikers Guide to the Galaxy tonight at the Cinema Calamari.
Everyone is invited.
Bring your own towel.
Don't panic!


2009-05-08

Happy Wesak

Happy Wesak!

Today is a Buddhist holy day. We will be napping and meditating all day.

namaste!
the pooses for peace

2009-05-06

Sicko de Mayo

shhhh.... please turn out that light and stop making all that noise.......

ouch... my head...... ohhhhhhhhhhhhh could you get us some ginger ale?

great party............ did i look fat?
love
zevo

2009-05-05

2009-05-03

Suarez Family Arrives at Casino Calamari



Associated Press
Salem MA

The Suarez family arrived at the Casino Calamari today to begin preparations for the Cinco de Mayo Fiesta.

Ignacio Suarez aka Poppy, father of Betty and Hilda will be cooking for the fiesta. (Ham enchiladas were requested by Cheysuli and her Meezer friends). Other Mexican entrees such as tuna-dillas, flan con nip de gato and pollo tacos will be served at the party.

A margarita fountain has been donated by Jimmy Buffett for the event. Salma Hayek will be loaning costumes from the movie Frida to celebrity cats Zevo Calamari, Boo, Miss Lucy Fur and several of their close friends. Ugly Betty ponchos will also be available for cats to wear to the fiesta.

Salem Mayor Kimberly Driscoll has called in for extra police units for back up on Tuesday's event. The cats and the mayor have a long history of not seeing eye to eye on holiday festivities. The mayor has been invited to the fiesta on the condition that she dress in traditional Mexican attire and ditch the black suit. No response has been given by the mayor's office as of today on her plans.

2009-05-02

You are invited......


Hola Gatos!

Estamos teniendo una gran fiesta Cinco de Mayo. Habrá mucho tequila y la comida para todos. Música Mariachi. Por favor, únase a nosotros!

For all you gringo cats here is the translation! We are having a big party Cinco de Mayo. There will be lots of tequila and food for all. Mariachi Music too. Please join us!

Casino Calamari
Tuesday 5/5/09
5:00 pm -?
special musical guest: Jimmy Buffett
Salma Hayek
Ugly Betty & her familia
and the ghost of Frida Kahlo!

Boys, bring your own sombreros. Uni-brows, red lipstick and traditional Mexican costumes are a must for all girls. Ugly Betty ponchos and blue braces are also acceptable to wear!

Ole!
The Pooses for Peace

2009-05-01

Uno de Mayo

Hola..... i am just practicing drinking tequila for our big party on Tuesday... Cinco de Mayo! This party will be the best we have ever had. It will even be announced on Facebook.

And it is also ex-presidential candidate Cheysuli's wedding anniversary - so please bring a gift. OK.. gotta go back to practicing my shots.

OLE'
zevo