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2007-10-03

Cats and Celebrities Invade Salem, MA

AP
Salem, MA

Cats and celebrities from around the world have been flocking to Salem , MA during the past few days to participate in the annual Haunted Happenings parade. It is the official kick off to the Halloween Season.

Keeping with tradition, the Strega Queen, Zevo Calamari will be leading the parade with the Gatti della Strega sui Vespas, ( witch cats on vespas) A party after the parade will be held in Salem's famed Casino Calamari.

Unconfirmed sources report that the cast of the Rocky Horror Show, Bewitched and Practical Magic will also be riding vespas along with the cats.

Mayor Kimberly Driscoll has issued warnings to the locals of wearing any valuable jewelry to the parade. She still claims that her earrings were stolen by pooses at last years event.

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2007-09-30

Mini-break



We need a few days off...... maybe we will be back later this week.


Have a wonderful first few days of October.
xoxooxox

2007-09-27

Insults fly at Casa Calamari


Zevo just called me a poose-head. Yes..... a poose-head. The ultimate poose insult. She picked up this foul word from the pet humans. That's right... my pet human said to me "Nubi- Don't be a poose-head." or "You are such a poose-head today." I can't believe she would use that language in front of me.

Zevo does not have a sense of humor. Every time i pounce on her she hisses and tries to whack me. When i steal her spot on the pillow she screams at me. And just because i drank the last Corona does not make me a poose-head.

xoxoxo
nubi wan kenobi
and i am NOT a poose-head


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2007-09-26


Ciao Zevo..... it's me....Boo.... can you believe i am still slightly hung over from the weekend? And the plane ride back to San Diego was just brutal. Give me a call. I will be home napping all day.

I heard thru the grapevine that George has a new girlfriend and they were in a motorcycle accident TOGETHER. Can you believe he cheated on me?

I think i will have a mimosa and a mouse omelet for breakfast just to sooth my poor poose nerves. The nerve of that guy. Oh well i will worry about this tomorrow....la de da
call me......
ciao ciao....love ya .....
boo




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2007-09-25

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh


Ohhhhhhhhh........my poor head. I am so tired. Bruce and his band finally left! We have been dancing all night. My paws hurt.

I think today i will sleep it off and hide from the paparazzi hanging out in the front yard. Boo and Lucy Fur are back in San Diego. Bubba left this morning- i guess because we ran out of beer. And i have no idea where Nubi is ...last i saw he was passed out under a table.

Could someone get me some aspirin and ginger ale?
xoxoxo
zevo

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2007-09-23

Surprise Guest at Casino Calamari


Guests at the Casino Calamari had a surprise during Phoebe Buffay and the Smelly Cats performance last night when The Boss stepped out on stage and joined in singing the famous Smelly Cat song.

Springsteen stayed and played a full set starting at midnight to celebrate his birthday.

Unconfirmed sources claim the party is still going on. Neighbors have complained of the sound of drunk cats singing "Pooses like us.... baby we were born to run.... Salem Police were called in response to the noise complaints, but were last seen dancing with the drunken cats.

Poose-cam live from Casino Calamari brought to you by The Planet Calamari Shop

2007-09-20

The Celebration Continues.....

Phoebe was scheduled to play last weekend.... however since we were all in jail she was kind to postpone her gig until this weekend. Come celebrate the first day of autumn with us at the Casino Calamari.

Catnip-tinis and an all you can eat tuna & turkey buffet!
xoxooxox

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2007-09-19

Happy Talk Like A Pirate Day!

Ay Matey! It is Talk Like A Pirate Day! arrr arrr arrr

To celebrate our recent escape from the dungeons of the DC Jail we are having a special guest tonight at the Casino Calamari........ Captain Jack Sparrow! Ay ....... eye candy..arr arrarrr

Rum and Cat nip from the Caribbean will be served! Pirate attire is mandatory. Be there mateys! Shiver me timbers!

yo ho yo ho a pirates life for me!

P.S. For all those pastafarians who worship the Flying Spaghetti Monster this is a Holy day of obligation. May you all be touched by his noodley appendage. Services will be held at the Chapel Calamari before the party begins. Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

2007-09-17

Cats Sprung from Jail

In a press conference held on Capitol Hill, Senator Ted Kennedy defended the Pooses for Peace leaders who were arrested at the Anti-War March on Saturday.

"Once again this administration has over stepped its powers by arresting innocent cats. The cats are innocent until proven guilty. As of yet, no incriminating evidence has been found linking these cats to mysterious Bite & Run attacks on Alberto Gonzales and Karl Rove."

Thinking that the microphone was off, Mr Kennedy added under his breath, that both Gonzo and Rove deserved to be bit.

Unconfirmed sources claim that Kennedy made their million dollar bail and all were free to go.

New to this blog? Confused about the Bite & Runs? Read all about them
Bite and Runs of 8/07 archives

Poose-cam live from Capitol Hill brought to you by The Planet Calamari Shop

2007-09-16

Cats Arrested at Anti-War March

At least 300 anti-war demonstrators have been arrested on the steps of the Capitol when they jumped barriers around the base of the building.

Several thousand anti-war demonstrators marched through downtown Washington, clashing and biting police at the foot of the Capitol steps.

Among the crowd were war veterans and relatives of servicemen killed in Iraq. Unconfirmed sources claim to have seen thousands of cats, dogs and a variety of animals wearing pink armbands with the Pooses for Peace logo.


Anti-war protesters march demanding an end to the war in Iraq, the return of US troops and the impeachment of US President George W. Bush in Washington, DC The anti-war protest began with Iraq war veterans, military families and other activists gathering in a park outside of the White House.

Among those arrested were the founders of The Pooses for Peace, Zevo Calamari, Miss Boo and Miss Lucy Fur, all wearing tiaras. Homeland Security named these cats as suspects in the Bite & Run attacks that have been recently occurring in Washington DC.

At least 50 other cats were arrested. Unconfirmed sources claim to have seen a cat wearing a brown robe and carrying a light saber. Another was wearing a leather jacket and carrying a can of Natty Boh beer. No word if presidential hopeful Cheysuli was at the march or arrested.

Visit Cafe Pax for peaceful art on clothing and other fun gifts. Visit The Planet Calamari Shop

2007-09-14

Pooses For Peace March


There has been a slight change in plans for this weekend. We have decided that the
Pooses for Peace will march in the peace rally tomorrow in Washington DC. I think we will be escorting the Code Pink Ladies. They have asked us for Bite Patrol support in case they are harassed.

You are all invited to march peacefully with us. After the rally we are having a huge party at the Casino Calamari. The party will continue on Sunday. Hope to see you all there! ( or maybe we will all share a cell in jail together!)

All we are saying ......is give peace a chance!

The Pooses for Peace

Visit Planet Calamari's Pax Cafe for peaceful art on clothing and other fun gifts.

2007-09-13

Shhhhhhhhh

Shhhhhhh...... I am hiding from my pet human. She is upset that i chewed on her new wicker chair. I am not sure what the big deal is...it tastes good and i thought she bought it for me.

I am gong to hide until my substitute poose shows up. He won't mind getting yelled at... after all i am paying him in tuna treats for the weekend.

I have been invited to the Casino Calamari by Zevo. Her parties are much better than the ones we have in my neighborhood. She serves imported beer, champagne and there will even be dancing! I do hope Miss Boo, Miss Lucy Fur and Nubi will be there.

Later Dude,
Bubba

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2007-09-11

It's Here!


Oh lookeeee what Bubba sent me! A sparkly pink mermaid from Florida. ....and it is filled with catnip...meowie wowie! I love it. It matches the big mermaids my pet human has hanging in her mermaid bathroom from Bubba's pet human, my Auntie Carmen Flamingo.

I think i will invite Bubba up to our Casino Calamari this weekend. We are having some wonderful guests performing. I think he will have a blast here. He is such a great dancer. That poose was really kicking up at Boo's birthday party at the Moulin Rouge last month.

.........hmmmmm what should i wear?

ciao for now,
zevo

p.s. Please have your pet human sign the petition on the previous post so we can help our friends the whales. Thanks!

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2007-09-10

Calling all Pooses!


Tell the U.S. Navy to Stop Killing Whales!

Ear-splitting military sonar is needlessly killing whales and other marine mammals throughout the world's oceans. Yet the Navy has refused to put effective safeguards in place during testing and training. These simple precautions -- such as avoiding sensitive habitats where whales are known to migrate and raise their young -- would help prevent the infliction of pain and death on these magnificent animals without compromising military readiness.

Please have your pet human sign this petition to help save our dear sea friends before there are no more left on the planet.(Hasn't the military caused enough damage on this planet???) www.nrdconline.org

2007-09-09

It's a Boy!

Well... it is official. I have to give up my favorite hiding place to a human.....a baby human... and it is a boy with really big feet. I hope he does not interfere with my sleep too.

Sarge is out getting us a few six packs of Natty Boh... we are having a party tonight! Everyone is invited.

This may be the last time we can have one for about 18 years!
xxoxoxo
tao

Welcome to the planet Julian Pietro!

Poose-cam live from Baltimore brought to you by The Planet Calamari Shop

2007-09-07

Wishing, Hoping and Napping

It is laundry day and my pet humans expect me to fold these clothes and put them away. I have better things to do, like nap on top of them.

Rumor has it that Bubba has sent me a gift. I do hope the mail comes early today. I wonder what it is? Earrings? A bracelet? The latest Versace purse? Bouquet of cat nip? Box of tuna treats?

I hate waiting...... so i guess i will just have to nap. Someone please close the blinds, that sun is getting in my eyes.

xoxoxo
zevo
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2007-09-04

Lucy Fur on Oprah Today!


Today on Oprah!

Join Oprah and her guest Miss Lucy Fur as they dish about the latest rumor of Miss Fur dating
Leona Helmsley's dog who just inherited 12 million dollars.

Learn who Zevo Calamari has her eye on ...is it Bubba? Is Boo still dating George Clooney? Is Nubi Wan Kenobi really a Jedi? And who really calls the shots on The Bite Patrol?
You don't want to miss this show!

Later Miss Fur will also give fabulous fashion tips for those pooses on a budget.

Oprah's musical guests today are The Dixie Chicks.

Oprah is brought to you by The Planet Calamari Shop

2007-08-30

We have a candle lit for all those dear pooses who have crossed over these few past weeks.

It has been a busy week and my teeth are tired. Time to meditate and be one with The Force.

Hard to see the dark side is...Bit next, who will be?

A Jedi flows with The Force....

Off we will be, for this holiday.

May the Force be with you,
nubi wan kenobi, jedi poose




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2007-08-28

Newsflash! Michael Vic Bit


For those who do not know why this man was bit please read the article by CNN below. This is a warning to all who kill innocent animals for sport. The Bite Patrol is watching you....prepare to be bit!
xoxoxo
The Bite Patrol

CNN:
Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick faces criminal charges and a possible prison sentence for allegedly participating in an enterprise that trained pit bulls for death matches in which spectators bet on the outcome, federal prosecutors announced Tuesday.

Vick, 27, and three associates were indicted by a federal grand jury in Richmond, Virginia, on a conspiracy count alleging they bought and sponsored dogs in an animal fighting venture and traveled across state lines to participate in illegal activity, including gambling.

According to the indictment, dogs that didn’t show enough fighting spirit, or that lost matches, were put to death by a variety of methods, including shooting, drowning, hanging and electrocution. Prosecutors allege that on one occasion earlier this year, Vick participated in killing eight dogs.

2007-08-27

NEWS FLASH


CNN NEWS FLASH

Attorney General Alberto Gonzales handed in his resignation this weekend. Unconfirmed sources report that Gonzales was the latest victim in a Bite and Run attack. These attacks have been happening over the past year to politicians, mostly Republicans, as well as celebrities.

Authorities believe these Bite and Runs are the work of a group of cats running from the crime scenes wearing black leather and tiaras. One source claims to have seen one of the cats wearing a robe and a carrying a light saber. He was committed to the psych ward at John Hopkins later.

No suspects have been named.

This portion of CNN was brought to you by The Planet Calamari Shop

2007-08-25

PARTY AT BUBBA'S!

woooooo hoooooooooo
My pet human is away and i just completed the Zevo Calamari on-line study course on "How to give a fabulous party."

Come on by! We have a keg of cheap beer and lots Jimmy Buffett CDs......

See you tonight!
Bubba

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2007-08-23

Bubba returns from Paris

I just returned from my first party in Paris. Last week i learned that i was related to the famous Zevo Calamari....or maybe it is my pet human is related to her pet human? Something about they share a brain? Honestly i do not understand what those humans are talking about half the time.

It was so nice to be invited to a real party. Usually in my neighborhood all the cats drink National Bohemian or Miller Light on a Saturday night, then we fight.

I had the best time at Boo's party. Those pooses sure can party! Great food, lots of dancing and Miss Boo sure is pretty, but she is still crazy about George Clooney. Miss Lucy Fur is stunning but i know that i am not her type, and she kind of scares me!

Oh and look at the cool statue i found at the Moulin Rouge! It is perfect for my breakfast crunchies. If only i had some champagne to go with them.

Later dude,
Bubba

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2007-08-21

BREAKING NEWS

BBC
Montemarte, Paris

Reports have surfaced that the famous painting by Toulouse Lautrec at the Moulin Rouge, along with several statues and artifacts are missing. French police are baffled how the crime was orchestrated and that the perpetrators apparently made their getaway unnoticed.

In other news Nicole Kidman claims to have lost a pair of diamond earrings this past weekend at a private party also held at the Moulin Rouge.

This is Bridget Jones live from Paris for the BBC.

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2007-08-20

Thank You

There is still a bit more champagne left.... mmmmmmm delish!

I want to thank all of you came to the party. It was such a grand time. All of you looked stunning in your top hats and tiaras. The can-can birthday dance was the best!

Thank you so much.
Oh... and i want to thank George Clooney for the necklace, Nicole for the sapphire earrings that match my eyes, and a special thanks to Zevo and Lucy Fur who planned this party.

Merci!
boo

2007-08-16

Invitation to all!

Hi Everyone,

You are all invited to Boo's Birthday Bash this weekend. Make sure you hire legal substitute pooses to cover for you at home. Your pet humans will never know!

There will be many of our celebrity friends to help celebrate with us, such as George Clooney, Nicole Kidman, Ewan Macgregor, Audrey Tautou and Bono just to name a few!

Please dress appropriately! Top hats and canes for boys, tiaras, long gloves and diamonds for girls. If you are participating in the birthday can-can dance please bring your dancing shoes!

ciao for now
zevo

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2007-08-15

Safe in Switzerland


We are staying one more day here in the Alps. It has been a lovely reprieve from the madness back in the USA. Our Bite and Run covert agents are busy gathering evidence to prove that it was not us, but Barney Bush who bit Karl Rove. A few minor details to attend to and soon we will be off the hook! Meanwhile we are celebrating!

Tomorrow we will leave for France. Boo's birthday is soon and i am planning a lovely party for her at the Moulin Rouge. She wanted to be in Montmarte for her special day. As a surprise i have invited George Clooney and a few other close friends.

Time for more cheese and champagne.
ciao
zevo

2007-08-13

BITE AND RUN VICTORY!

AP
WASHINGTON DC
Karl Rove, Bush's brain, will resign at the end of of this month. Rove claims he wants to spend more time with his family.

Unconfirmed sources say that the real reason Rove is quitting is that he is fearful of more Bite and Run attacks. Mr Turd Blossom will be taking a vacation with his "family" at an undisclosed remote island.

Bite and Run suspects Zevo Calamari, Boo and Lucy Fur have been seen in Switzerland. No charges have been filed as there is no proof linking the cats to the bites.


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2007-08-11

Hiding from Homeland Security

Zevo, Boo and Lucy Fur are still hiding out from Karl Rove and his thugs, in that wonderful neutral country with great cheese. I have decided to stay home undercover and plan the next bite and run.

Homeland security would never think to look in the baby's room for me.
Now who should we bite next? I am waiting for my orders from headquarters. Copy that. Roger roger...

Poose-Out
Tao

2007-08-08

The weather is here....
We have decided to take a get out of town quick vacation until things calm down with Mr Rove and his goons. So i am writing from an undisclosed location...where the chocolate and cheese is divine!


Meanwhile here is a very urgent matter for all of us !


Even Now, Amazon Defends Animal Fighting!
In the wake of the high-profile indictment of Michael Vick, the nation has been awakened to the cruelty of animal fighting. Members of Congress, corporate leaders, and people like you are speaking out. And Louisiana and New Mexico enacted laws this year to outlaw cockfighting -- the last two states to join the fold.

Online retailer Amazon is now in the lonely position of promoting animal fighting activities. It's the only online retailer of subscriptions to animal fighting magazines in the United States, and these magazines advertise the sale of fighting animals and cockfighting weapons -- sales made illegal by federal law! The Feathered Warrior even advertised fighting dogs from a dogfighter whose operation makes the enterprise described in the Michael Vick indictment look like a bunch of amateurs.

This nonsense from Amazon must stop --
CLICK HERE
and tell them so right now.
Amazon claims that its commercial sale of these publications is protected by the First Amendment. But the First Amendment does not protect companies advertising illegal contraband, and that's exactly what the magazines sold by Amazon are doing.


Dogs and chickens suffer grievous injuries or death in fights produced for depraved fun and shameful profit. Please ask Amazon right now to stop selling animal fighting magazines. And don't forget to tell your friends and family how they can help, too.


Thank you for all you do for animals
.

2007-08-07

Zevo Calamari on The Daily Show

Zevo Calamari, spokes-poose for Pooses For Peace will be Jon Stewart's guest tonight on the Daily Show. Miss Calamari, along with Miss Lucy Fur and Miss Boo, is one of the suspects in the Karl Rove Bite and Run incident last week. So far no charges have been formally filed as, there is no substantial proof.

Join Jon tonight for a very entertaining show!

2007-08-03

Bite and Run

CNN
THIS BREAKING NEWS JUST IN

Karl Rove was involved in a Bite & Run late last night. Rove was seen having dinner with White House friends celebrating his immunity to appear before Congress.

Unconfirmed sources claim to have seen 3 cats wearing black leather jumpsuits, masks and tiaras running from the direction of Rove's car immediately after he began screaming, "What the @*&K! OOOUUUCH!"

Mr. Rove was taken immediately to the hospital. He is in stable condition and suffers from minor cuts, scratches and several bites.

Homeland security has raised the terrorist poose level up to orange. So far no organization has taken responsibility for the bite and run.

This news has been brought to you by The Planet Calamari Shop

2007-07-30

Poose Yoga Center to Open In Hillcrest!



Come join Yoga Instructor Miss Boo for her grand opening of the Poosananda Yoga Studio
in Hillcrest, CA on August 1st, 2007.
Free classes all week.
Please bring your own mat.
We will be serving organic catnip tea with catnip salads.

Shanti Shanti

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2007-07-28

Another Poose Victory!

I would like to thank everyone who has signed up for the Fall semester at the Institute of Professional Biting. Due to the overwhelming enrollment we have hired a few more professors to teach. Professor Anastasia who specializes in biting, especially the "didn't see that coming bite" and the educational bite for humans in training will be teaching a weekend seminar for graduates. Congrats to all.
Now for a more serious matter to all pooses from the Humane Society:


We Did It! Nike Drops Vick


I know you heard from me earlier today or yesterday, but I wanted you to be one of the first to know: Nike announced today that it has suspended Michael Vick's contract without pay and will stop selling all Vick-related products at its stores.

This is a big victory, one that simply would not have happened without your action and those of more than 165,000 others.

As you know, the allegations against Michael Vick are so serious and disturbing that The Humane Society of the United called on his corporate backers to end their commercial relationships with the star player. I’m so pleased that Nike has signaled it has a zero tolerance policy for athletes who may be involved with staged animal fights and other forms of malicious animal cruelty.

Nike's statement reads as follows:

“Nike has suspended Michael Vick’s contract without pay, and will not sell any more Michael Vick product at Nike owned retail at this time. As we’ve said before, Nike is concerned by the serious and highly disturbing allegations made against Michael Vick and we consider any cruelty to animals inhumane and abhorrent. However, we do believe that Michael Vick should be afforded the same due process as any citizen in the United States, therefore, we have not terminated our relationship.”

Also today, Reebok agreed to stop selling Michael Vick-branded products. The company does not have a contract with Vick but has an official relationship with the NFL to sell its merchandise.

Thank you again for all you do for animals.

Sincerely,

Wayne Pacelle
President & CEO
The Humane Society of the United States

2007-07-26

Join The Bite Patrol!

Graduates of the Calamari Institute for Professional Biting

Looking for a a new career? The Calamari Institute for Professional Biting is now accepting applications for the Fall semester. Learn how to bite ankles, knees and other fun humans party. Study the art of covert biting. Our graduates have gone on to bite celebrities and many politicians, such as Ann Coulter, Dick Cheney, Nicole Richie, P Diddy, and others we are not permitted to mention(or admit to)

Be a part of the prestigious Bite Patrol which has been making headline news. This fall our list of professors include Covert Operations Biter, Lucy Fur, best known for her biting debut with Dick Cheney.

Also teaching celebrity biting will be Zevo Calamari and Miss Boo. Both are famous for biting Paris Hilton, Vanessa Paradis (wife of Johnny Depp), and Toby Keith and the whiney country chick with the red hair.

Other professors include Martial arts instructor Tao and her sidekick Sarge. Nubi wan Kenobi will be teaching Jedi theory on how to use the force during a bite attack.

Hurry... operators are standing by. Call now to sign up before classes are filled. In a few months you to will be a part of THE BITE PATROL
1-800-CAT-BITE se hablo espanol

2007-07-25

NEWS FLASH

We interrupt this blog for some disturbing news.

Now, as cats we are quite aware that wolves would like to make a tasty meal out of us.

However..... that is not a good reason to have them hunted down for sport by humans. These are stunning creatures, even if their eating habits need some adjustments....
So we urge all of you, to please have your pet humans sign the petition to save the wolves. We only have until August 6, 2007 and need 200,000 signatures.

Come on..... who knows.... cats might be next on George Bush's list ........we are all sharing this planet together! Thanks



Tell the Bush Administration to Protect Gray Wolves

The gray wolf's extraordinary comeback from extinction in Greater Yellowstone is one of America's greatest environmental success stories. But the Bush Administration is now pushing a proposal that would authorize the killing of some 700 wolves -- more than half of the current population in the northern Rockies. Speak out now for wolf protection and help shield the wolves of Wyoming and Idaho from the coming crossfire.

We must stop the Bush Administration's plan to declare open season on the wolves of Greater Yellowstone and central Idaho. Once approved, Wyoming and Idaho intend to begin exterminating up to half their gray wolves -- by aerial gunning and other cruel methods -- as early as this fall.

To submit your Official Citizen Comment, opposing this disastrous plan, before August 6. Please CLICK HEREwww.nrdconline.org


ps... if this does not get stopped there is going to be some heavy duty ankle biting in washington dc

2007-07-24

Lucy Fur Annoys Larry King

CNN
Last night on Larry King, Miss Lucy Fur talked candidly about her misfortunate past as a homeless cat in San Diego. She shed tears while talking about the mistakes she made before she entered rehab and the lessons she learned. (Such as don't hang out with human stick insects named Paris Hilton or Lindsey Lohan!)

Mr King became quite annoyed when she repeatedly changed the subject about the mysterious disappearance of the Mona Lisa and other works of art in the Louvre, while she was in Paris with friends Zevo Calamari and Boo. Miss Fur laughed at the idea that they were jewel thieves.

Miss Fur is anxious to begin working on her talk show which premiers this fall. "I hope everyone will be watching and I hope you all will tune in to my new talk show in the fall. I'm having experts in fashion, jewelry, cuisine, and ankle biting on to share their glamour tips.

Karl Rove has been invited to the pilot episode but hasn't confirmed. His people told my people that he will only come in full body armor."

Karl Rove's office has issued a statement that he will not attend the pilot episode, nor will he be in the presence of a bunch of liberal cats who bit his ankle last year.


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2007-07-23

Lucy Fur Live on Larry King

CNN
LARRY KING LIVE

Larry's special guest tonight will be Miss Lucy Fur, celebrity cat best known for her escapades with Zevo Calamari and Miss Boo. She is a co-owner of Hamburger Marys located in Salem , MA, newest hot spot to the stars and her best friend Oprah is helping her to launch a talk show in the fall.

Miss Fur will talk about her shaded past, being homeless in San Diego, last years rehab, biting Dick Cheney and her controversial friends Zevo and Boo. Don't miss this exciting show!

Larry King Live is brought to you by The Planet Calamari Shop

2007-07-20

Pooses in Provence

We have decided to take a few days off in Provence. Rolling around in lavender fields, chasing French mice and sipping Pastis is the perfect way to end our trip. We are thinking about buying a vineyard here. Le Jolie Chat Wineries??????

Next week Lucy Fur is meeting with Oprah's people. She will be hosting her own talk show in the fall. Boo is needed at the Golden Door Spa to teach yoga. Nubi and i must return home to Salem and take care of business. Tourist season is almost here.

Meanwhile....... have a wonderful weekend!
My Patis is here.......

au revoir
zevo

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2007-07-18

Thank You!

We would like to thank all of you who helped find the orphan tuxedo cats from San Diego a home. There are so many pooses and humans to thank...i feel like i am giving my Oscar acceptance speech. So to save time and so the band will not play.... THANK YOU ALL!

A special thanks to Grr Midnight and Cocoa and their pet humans for going the extra mile to for these cats. We award you the special Catnip of Goodwill Bouquet Award.
Thank you so much!

p.s. We are still in Paris. Come see Lucy Fur perform at the Moulin Rouge tonight!

2007-07-16

Still In Paris

Allo! Bonjour!

I would so like to say merci to all le wonderful chats who came to ze Bastille Day Partee. Oh la la.... so many pretty dresses! Oh... i so love zee outfit Miss Daisy did wear. And ze shoes on Madame Lucyfur..... soo soo sexy. Madame Boo - she is so chic ...no?

Le Chat Cheysuli is so pretty and so smart. Mdm. Gemini..she is a good dancer...no?
Socre' blu! Zee boy chats Monsieur Chen and Ollie....soo how do you say...??????? handsome? Msr. Lux........ oh la LA! Oh.... i do think ze Oscar ze puppy chat and Msr. Nubi are ze best kissers.

Merci to le chats that nominated my petite ami, Zevo Calamari so many times. I am so sorry zat i take her away from ze computer and she cannot post on ze blog.

Tonight we have pastis and formage...please come!

Merci ....Au Revoir,
audrey tautou

2007-07-13

You are invited to our

Saturday 14 July 2007

Eiffel Tower
Paris France

6:00pm-?

Bonjour
Veuillez venir à notre partie au Tour Eiffel ! (Please come to our party at the Eiffel Tower!)
There will be music, dancing, pastis, wine and food! Please wear something chic.

au revoir
les chats pour la paix

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2007-07-12

These San Diego Cats Need a Home!














Attention to all those who live in or near San Diego!
We are looking for a good home for these two nice cats. A member of Zevo's fan club has written with this request:

"I would like to know if you know any sites for adoptions for scared kitties or
anyone that would be interested in helping me out.. I have had these two tuxedos I rescued months ago. They are litter trained, spayed, shots, Advantage, de-wormed. I adopted out two already and am left with the two females. I have been socializing them, but they still need more.

I visit them twice a day in a pool house on another property and they're running out of time.They need to be in a home with people. I found these kitties in the garden. I am looking for an inside only home with no dogs or little children. I don't know what to do at this point I have been trying for months on Craigslist and got nothing but flakes.I would keep
them but I have two dogs that hate cats.
Please Help!!!!!!!

suzi

Only those who are serious should use this email address
alan@mrconstruction.com

If you know of anyone who can help please pass this on.
Thanks
zevo

p.s. Don't forget we are all meeting in Paris for Bastille Day!

2007-07-11

Poose Acupuncture Boards

I just took my poose acupuncture boards. Whew! Talk about exhausting. Written, then practicals then more written, then begging and the final exam- acting poosie during a treatment.

My pet human was in desperate need of an acupuncture treatment so i volunteered. Notice how well i stimulated the needles. Who needs an e-stim machine when i am around? She kept screaming, so i know that i was moving chi. I did a small amount of blood-letting by biting her Lung 10... she was complaining about a sore throat. I am certain it had nothing to do with the screaming.

As you can see, i only use Seirin needles. Call me an acu-snob.

Soon i will be setting up my own acupuncture practice. Any ideas for a clinic name?

May the Chi be with you,

Dr. Nubi Wan Kenobi, L.Ac.

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2007-07-10

We are back from the Live Earth Concert tour. Boo and Lucy Fur are back in San Diego. Nubi is home with me. (Too bad Spinal Tap would not take him with them on their summer tour.)

I am exhausted. So sorry i have not had time to post on everyone else's blogs or take a picture of me in a pink wig or nominate anyone for anything. Being me takes so much work. You have no idea how hard it is to run a brothel, a casino and Hamburger Marys and look good all the time.

( Oh by the way i am a GIRL not a drag queen. Just because my name ends in O does not make me a male. I am named after Miss Zevo from the movie TOYS.)

I really do need to fire my pet human as my secretary. She keeps saying she is soooooo busy working. Doesn't she see that my blog should be the most important job she has?

Someone please bring me a glass of champagne and a tuna platter.....
ciao ciao
zevo calamari

2007-07-09

Madonna thrills Live Earth

Pop queen Madonna with back up vocalists Zevo Calamari and Mizz Boo, got 70,000 people on their feet demanding action on climate change in a stunning finale to the London leg of Live Earth last night.

The singer was one of the highlights of yesterday's event, which also featured the The Police with Lucy Fur, and even spoof band Spinal Tap with guest poose Nubi Wan Kenobi.


Dozens of school children in school uniform along with
hundreds of cats wearing pink wigs sang along to 'Hey You', while footage showed images including polluting factories.

But the biggest moment came when the 48-year-old star called on the crowd to get to their feet.

Thousands cheered as she told the audience: "If you want to save the planet I want you to start jumping up and down. Come on you "poose-heads"

"If you want to save the planet let me see you jump."

Al Gore proclaimed the concerts a success and thanked all the artists and pooses whop helped made it possible.


Poose-cam live from London brought to you by The Planet Calamari Shop

2007-07-06

Happy Birthday Frida

Madonna is giving a small party at her London home tonight to celebrate Frida Kahlo's birthday. We are all so excited to be able to view one of the original Kahlo paintings she owns. I would really love to have one of those hanging in my office........

Boo and i will be wearing borrowed Frida costumes from our friend Salma. Uni-brows are required.

Don't miss our performance tomorrow at the Live Earth Concerts!

adios
zevo

Visit The Planet Calamari Shop

2007-07-05

Preparing for the Live Earth Concerts


Al Gore has invited the Pooses for Peace contingent to perform at the Live Earth Concerts this Saturday. Boo and i will be in London singing back-up vocals for our good friend Madonna. Nubi wan Kenobi willl tag along us as our roadie. Maybe Spinal Tap will let him on the stage with them.

Lucy Fur has been invited to sing in New York with her dear friend Sting and The Police. Sarge and Tao will be joining The Dave Matthews band.

There are so many members of Pooses for Peace that i cannot remember where everyone will be on Saturday. It will be a fun day.... and i do hope we can actually help save this planet before it is too late.

For more info on the LIVE EARTH CONCERTS visit liveearth.msm.com

2007-07-04


Happy Fourth of July!

The Pooses for Peace

If you are scared by the sound of fireworks have your pet humans add Rescue Remedy to your water. It helps! To learn more visit www.fourpawsacupuncture.com


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2007-07-03

Tres de Julio

I am celebrating! I have made my July quota for being bad in just two days. Usually it takes the whole month to meet that required 1000 points for tormenting your pet humans.

I successfully knocked over the entire collection of cds near the window.... forcing them to move the cds to another wall. 500 points
Now my favorite window is free for bird watching. 200 points

I also tormented a wasp which stung me and as my pet human was kissing my paw i bit her on the lip. It looks really nice with the brace she is wearing on her arm from falling down the stairs. I had nothing to do with that one. (ha ha!) 200 points

I then chased Zevo's tail all night causing lots of noise and keeping the pet humans up.
100 points
The added bonus was Zevo puking at 3am. She gets 50 points for that.


So time to celebrate! Happy tres de julio!
ole
nubi wan kenobi

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