Nicole Kidman Seen Riding Vespa in Salem

Unconfirmed sources have seen Nicole Kidman riding a vespa this morning in Salem. Rumors are that she is riding in the parade with the Gatti della Strega sui Vespas (witch cats on vespas) along with a few other Bewitched cast members. Dr Bombay is getting an acupuncture treatment at the Acupuncture Center of Salem this evening.

No sign of Captain Jack Sparrow yet. Word on the street is he is staying at the Casino Calamari, owned by the cats and will be riding in the parade tomorrow night with them.

Paparazzi swarmed the streets of Salem this afternoon in search of George Clooney. Unconfirmed sources have seen him riding up and down Derby Street with two cats wearing tiaras. George outwitted the press with the help of these clever pooses and is now at a secret location,

007 Daniel Craig was seen again having dinner and drinks with Miss LucyFur at the local hang out, The Lobster Shanty, Oprah and BFF Lucy Fur were also spotted shopping at Pamplemouse earlier this afternoon. Each bought several cases of wine and cool kitchen accessories.

Meanwhile hordes of cats wearing pirate outfits or witch hats have been seen roaming the streets of Salem and running up tabs at the local pubs.

The mayor of Salem is concerned that there is not enough law enforcement for the parade tomorrow night. Boston police on horses will be brought in if needed.

Poose-cam live from Salem brought to you by
Visit Planet Calamari

Cats, Celebrities and Vespas Invade Salem Again!

AP
Salem, MA

Cats and celebrities from around the world have been flocking to Salem , MA during the past few days to participate in the annual Haunted Happenings parade this Thursday night. This is the official kick off to the Halloween Season.

Breaking from a Pooses for Peace tradition, the Strega Queen, Zevo Calamari, Miss Boo and Miss Lucy Fur and the Gatti della Strega sui Vespas, (witch cats on vespas) will not be leading the parade. Instead the celebrity cats have decided to ride their vespas along with Captain Jack Sparrow and his entourage of marching pirates and pastafarians. The cats are devotees of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and will be wearing their pirate attire for the event.

Other celebrity cats will be riding vespas along with the Pooses for Peace cats. The Bite & Run, Poop & Run and Whap & Run Brigades will also be riding or marching along this year. Ex-pesidential candidate Cheysuli and her entourage will be riding in a solar powered Smart convertible with her former bodyguard Nubi wan Kenobi. Luna diPoosalita and Monkay the thumbed cats will be riding together on an electric vespa. Other members of the Pooses for Peace too numerous to name will be driven in rickshaws in the parade. The Poop & Run Brigades will be marching at the end of the parade.

Extra security have been brought in to prevent a repeat of past few years of cat fights between Zevo Calamari and Mayor Driscoll and her black suit. At last year's parade, The commotion began when Mayor Kimberly Driscoll tried to upstage the Gatti della Strega sui Vespas by proclaiming she would lead the parade instead of the cats on vespas.

In last year's parade the mayor dressed in her one and only black suit had not bothered to even wear a costume for the kick off parade. Unconfirmed sources report that she was given a choice by Strega Queen Zevo Calamari, of either wearing a costume and riding with the cats on a vespa or walking behind them in her only suit. A cat fight broke out when the mayor refused.

No charges were filed as there were no witnesses. However the mayor's black suit had several tears in it after the parade. This year the mayor and the former Salem police chief will be leading the parade. The cats did not want to piss off show any disrespect to the police department.

Mayor Kimberly Driscoll has issued warnings to the locals of wearing any valuable jewelry to the parade. She still claims that her earrings were stolen by cats at last year's event. An anonymous aid to the mayor said that this year, the mayor will be wearing ankle and knee guards under her black suit at the parade.

Unconfirmed sources report that the cast of the Rocky Horror Show, Bewitched and Practical Magic will also be riding vespas along with the cats. Rumor has it Miss Boo's paramour George Clooney will be riding in the parade this year. Last year Captain Jack Sparrow rode with the cats on a Harley Hog. Al Gore will be riding in his green electric car along with Bo Obama. No word yet if Brad Pitt will ride along with the cats.

A private party for the cats and celebrities will be held after the parade in Salem's famed Casino Calamari.

House Trashing Party at Boo's!

This should teach my pet human to leave me to go watch buffalo roam................

Party is still on until next Thursday.......... more booze, tuna and ham is being delivered!

Pass me a jello shot
ciao ciao

Boo

Happy 60th to the Boss!

Tonight at
Casino Calamari

Birthday Bruce and the E Street Band!

Nip-tini's and all you can eat Thunder Road Buffet

Wear your dancing shoes!

Drunk Cats Cause Trouble in Disneyland

AP NEWS ALERT

This just in from Anaheim, CA...... The celebrity cats known as Pooses for Peace, led by Lucy the cat who is once again off her meds have taken over The Pirates of the Caribbean Ride and have taken the Johnny Depp statue hostage until their demands are met.

Hundreds of cats rode the Pirates of the Caribbean ride yesterday while doing shots of rum. A drinking game called Shot O' Rum was played all day by the cats. The rules of the game required the cats to do a shot of rum every me they rode the Pirate ride.

One demand of these domestic terrorist cats is that the words to the Pirate ride song be changed to the words "Yo ho Yo Ho a Pooses' Life for me" The other demand is that pirate cats must be added to the decor of the ride, since there is a dog in it. Unconfirmed sources believe that the cats plan to take It's A Small World hostage later today.

Swat teams and riot police have been called in... we will keep you posted.

Now back to more propaganda about socialist and communist plots to talk over white America.

Happy Talk Like A Pirate Day!

It is a Holy Day for all Pastafarians ( devotees of the Flying Spaghetti Monster) today. May you be blessed by his Noodly Appendage. Ramen!

All pooses are invited to our private party at Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Special guest...... Captain Jack Sparrow! Be ready to swoon.

Please wear your patch and pirate attire.

Arrrrrrrrrr Arrrrrrrrrr shiver me timbers.. there will be plenty rum for all.. arrrrrrrrr

Sing along with us!
YO HO (A PIRATE'S LIFE FOR ME)
Lyrics by Xavier Atencio and music by George Bruns

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We pillage, we plunder, we rifle, and loot,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot,
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We extort, we pilfer, we filch, and sack,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
Maraud and embezzle, and even high-jack,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We kindle and char, inflame and ignite,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
We burn up the city, we're really a fright,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

We're rascals, scoundrels, villans, and knaves,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
We're devils and black sheep, really bad eggs,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We kindle and char, inflame and ignite,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
We burn up the city, we're really a fright,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

We're rascals, scoundrels, villans, and knaves,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
We're devils and black sheep, really bad eggs,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We're beggars and blighters, ne'er-do-well cads,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
Aye, but we're loved by our mommies and dads,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

Feline Pirates Invade Anaheim CA

Associated Press
Anaheim CA

Droves of cats wearing pirate costumes have been seen flocking towards Disneyland today to celebrate Talk Like A Pirate Day. Their intention is to take over the famed Pirates of the Caribbean Ride on Saturday..Unconfirmed sources believe that Captain Jack Sparrow is with the cats.

Disney officials are concerned about the safety of the treasure chests filled with fake jewels in the ride, as well as jewelry worn by tourists attempting to get on the ride. Last year the cats took the ride hostage and demanded that Disney officials change the theme song's words to "Yo Ho Yo Ho a Poose's Life for me........"

Countdown to Talk Like A Pirate Day

Ay Matey! It is almost Talk Like A Pirate Day! arrr arrr arrr

To celebrate one of our favorite holidays we invite you to join us this Saturday at the Pirates of the Caribbean Ride in Disneyland...with Captain Jack Sparrow! Ay ....... eye candy..arr arrarrr

Rum and Cat nip from the Caribbean will be served! Pirate attire is mandatory. Be there mateys! Shiver me timbers!

For all those pooses coming from out of town, there is plenty of room for everyone to stay at Boo's house. We will be throwing a house-trashing party all weekend.

yo ho yo ho a pirates life for me!

P.S. For all those Pastafarians who worship the Flying Spaghetti Monster this is a Holy day of obligation. May you all be touched by his Noodley Appendage.

Preparing for Talk Like A Pirate Day

This Saturday is "talk like a pirate day"......i must prepare at least a few phrases for the day...... arrr arrrrr... We will all be going to Disneyland for this special holiday and ride the Pirates of the Carribean a few times. I do hope Captain Jack Sparrow will join us again this year.

Now back to my studies. Arrh arrh arrrh

yo ho yo ho a pirate's life for me!
shiver me timbers,
love
boo

What Paintings?

CNN

Described by Los Angeles police as one of the city's biggest home robberies in more than a decade, thieves made off with millions of dollars worth of Andy Warhol paintings depicting some of the greatest athletes of the 1970s. The one-of-a-kind paintings included Muhammad Ali, O.J. Simpson and Chris Evert. The thieves also drank every bottle of tequila in the home and raided the refrigerator taking all the tuna and ham.

It's one of the largest residential burglaries that has occurred in L.A.," said Los Angeles Police Department detective Don Hrycyk. "Maybe the biggest one in the last 15 years. We don't have a clue how these paintings disappeared. And the mouse and rat population in the neighborhood has been decreased significantly."

Joe Wilson Ambushed By Terrorist Cats

FOX NEWS
FAIR AND BALANCED

Representative Joe Wilson, the South Carolina Republican who yelled “You lie” to President Obama last night during a joint session of Congress, was ambushed late last night by a horde of cats wearing tiaras and a few dogs wearing Che berets. One cat was wearing a Jedi robe and swinging a light saber.

Joe Wilson was rushed to an undisclosed hospital but was refused treatment as his ID stated his name was Jose El Bigot with a Mexican address. Wilson suffered from bites, scratches and an allergy attack.

Aides to the congressman believe this is the work of the domestic terrorist liberal communist group known as The Pooses for Peace. The celebrity cats were last seen by the FBI hiding out in a casino in Monaco with ex-presidential candidate Cheysuli who seems to be wanted by almost everyone these days.

Stay tuned for more on these dangerous cats and their liberal commie facist antics................

CATS SPOTTED IN MONACO

Poose-cam Live from Monaco....stay tuned.................

FBI SEARCHES FOR WANTED CHEYSULI

Associated Press
Salem MA

FBI agents were called into Salem MA in hopes of finding ex-presidential candidate Cheysuli who is wanted by authorities for a myriad of charges. She has been last seen partying with the domestic terrorist group known as the Pooses for Peace.

The celebrity liberal felines own several businesses in Salem, MA such as Casino Calamari, Hamburger Mary's, Cinema Calamari and the rumored Brothel Calamari. Unfortunately the authorities have not been able to locate any of the so called establishments, nor have they seen any of the cats associated with them in the past week. Unconfirmed sources believe the cats are in Monico.

Zevo hussein Calamari issued a statement via video leaked to the internet "Chey who? What casino? Fetch me a martini, love. Do these dice make me look fat? ......."

Friends and Family Celebrate Ted Kennedy's Life

BOSTON — Hundreds of cats and some dogs, swarmed into Boston yesterday to show their respect for Senator Edward Kennedy. All were wearing the formal dress uniform of the infamous Bite and Run Brigade, commanded by the Pooses for Peace. Marching in a peaceful fashion the animals surrounded the John F Kennedy Presidential Library and saluted as Senator Kennedy's casket was brought in. The cats took shifts in keeping a vigil around the clock.

The Pooses for Peace founders, Zevo Calamari, Miss Boo and Miss Lucy Fur all sobbing and wearing simple black Versace dresses without their signature tiaras carried embroidered hankies and flowers to the library.

The cats have been long time friends with Sen. Kennedy. They referred to him as Papa Lion. He has been known to help bail them out of jail, the Gitmo prison, and he has defended them many times from accusations made by George Bush and Homeland Security. When Kennedy became ill the cats stayed at his home in Cape Cod whenever possible to be with him. He enjoyed the stories of their adventures. They loved his wisdom and sense of humor. They were also good friends with his dogs Splash and Sunny. Rumor has it that Miss Boo postponed her Italian wedding to George Clooney to come back to the USA for the funeral.

Friends, relatives and political comrades, including Vice President Biden, are celebrating Sen. Edward Kennedy in an all-star Irish wake tonight. The cats promise to be on their best behavior.

Due to the security issue the cats will not be permitted to go to Washington for the burial. George Bush is terrified the cats will bite him again and he claims to be allergic to cats.

The Pooses for Peace have opted to hold their own tribute to Papa Lion at the Casino Calamari tomorrow night in Salem, just north of Boston.

In other Boston news, the Mayor of Salem was bit in her office today. The Mayor attended a meeting at City hall to discuss taking a parking lot in downtown Salem and turning it into a winter carnival with kiddie rides. The Mayor immediately recognized the pet humans of Zevo Calamari and excused herself from the meeting. Unconfirmed sources said the mayor was terrified that the couple had brought their cats to the meeting. When the Mayor ran back into her office to hide she was surprised by a Bite and Run attack.

Authorities cannot identify the cats as they ran off before cameras could capture their image. Zevo Calamari and her friends were in Boston mourning at the time of the attack. One of the city clerks claims she saw a tiny black cat wearing a witch hat and extra large black mittens on all four paws. Another clerk saw a cat wearing a jedi robe and carrying a light saber.

Mayor Driscoll is in stable condition and took the rest of the day off. Her charcoal grey suit is in critical condition.

In a statement released by the Mayor she said "AAAAchooooo! I just know that those wretched Pooses for Peace are behind this latest attack. And I do not appreciate that crazy acupuncturist who mocked the idea of having a carnival in the winter. The nerve of her demonstrating the sounds that came off a merry go round. Dam...where is my blackberry?"

Rest in Peace Ted Kennedy

Thank you for all you have done. We will miss you dearly.
love
The Pooses for Peace

Topaz Engagement Ring?.........

National Enquirer



Unconfirmed sources have report that Miss Boo, celebrity cat of the Pooses for Peace has been given a ring by George Clooney. No word if the ring is an engagement ring or just a gift for her birthday. The two were spotted snogging at a quaint bistro in Tuscany last night.

In other celebrity news Zevo Calamari and Miss Lucy Fur were seen with Donatella Versace shooting for the cover of Vogue's Fall issue. Rumors that Miss Boo will be modeling a wedding dress are spreading all over Italy.

poose-cam live from italy..........

gatti fotocamera da vivere italia
(poose-cam live from italy).

My dearest Boo... Cara mia....Happy Birthday ... You know I adore you...Will you.........

sounds of crashing... "what the f*^&.... is the camera still on.. what did he say...... oh my god she is crying... quick anyone have a blackberry..............."

Happy Birthday Boo!

Ahhhh... leave it to our dear friend George Clooney to make sure that his sweetheart Miss Boo has a lovely birthday surprise! You are all invited to join us tonight at a small gathering at George's villa in Italy. Shhhhh it is a surprise. No need to bring anything. There will be lots of food, Strega, wine and limoncello

Will George propose to Boo? None of us know...

We lured Boo here with Donatella's help, by telling Boo she will be photographed for the cover of the fall issue of Vogue wearing the latest Versace couture. Of course it is true... but a it will be all of us will be featured on the cover of Vogue this fall.... Boo, Lucy Fur and me- the celebrity pooses of the Pooses for Peace.

The inside pages will also feature other famous Pooses for Peace members such as Cheysuli and all of her entourage, The Meezers, Miss Daisy, Mickey, Luna diPoosalita, Nubi wan Kenobi, Tao and Sarge, Monkay, Che Nikki.. and well way too many for us to mention or even html in.... (so sorry)

Please be on time. The party starts at 8pm.... See you there.
ciao ciao
zevo

John Mackey Victim of a Whole-Body Bite & Run Attack

BREAKING NEWS............ AUSTIN TEXAS............. WHOLE FOODS HEADQUATERS

Hordes of cats dressed in Whole Foods aprons and Che Guevara berets stormed into the Whole Foods Headquarters today during a Board of Directors meeting. John Mackey along with several other greedy bastards members of the whole board were bit, poked and scratched. The board was meeting to discuss Mackey's blunder in revealing his true neo-con right wing colors in his op-ed column in The Wall Street Journal.

His statement read:"Health care is a service that we all need, but just like food and shelter it is best provided through voluntary and mutually beneficial market exchanges. A careful reading of both the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution will not reveal any intrinsic right to health care, food or shelter. That's because there isn't any. This "right" has never existed in America."

Mackey was taken to the hospital for bites on his ankles, knees and private parts only to be turned away at the ER. Unconfirmed sources believe the cats stole his ID and his insurance card and replaced them with a drivers license from Mexico with the name Juan Macarana. Mackey is now at the public clinic waiting to be being treated for bites and allergies. He is hoping to be looked at by a nurse practitioner in a few hours.

Some of the cats threw organic apples and left organic "droppings". A biohazard team was called into the Whole Foods building to rid the room of the stench, droppings and dander. Authorities believe the attack was the work of the Pooses for Peace Bite & Run Brigade. The cats are known for their liberal, socialist ties to the Obama administration.

Zevo hussein Calamari issued a statement today from an undisclosed location. " You should have been bit long ago for making your employees wear these hideous aprons. Healthcare, food and shelter are basic human rights....not that you pay most of your employees enough to afford such things! Oh and you can
take your organic overpriced food and shove it up your whole &%$@! "

Celebrating Steve Martin's Birthday!

It's Steve Martin's Birthday!
at
Casino Calamari

Special Guest Steve Martin and his Bluegrass Band

A Wild & Crazy time for all!

Friday 8/14/09
7:00pm -?
all you can eat buffett and open bar
cat nip brownies

get small with us tonight!
the pooses for peace & friends

Obama Honors Pooses for Peace as Agents of Change at White House

NEWS FROM THE WHITE HOUSE.........

America's first black president took a breather from the health care fight to honor the first Hispanic to be confirmed to the Supreme Court and others who have helped create change.

"There are many honors and privileges bestowed on the occupants of this house," the president said. "But few mean as much to me as the chance to award America's highest civilian medal to the recipients that are here today."

The honorees, some American and some not, represent "what we consider to be that most American of beliefs," Obama said, "that our lives are what we make of them, that no barriers of race, gender or physical infirmity can restrain the human spirit, and that the truest test of a person's life is what we do for one another."

White House aides said the recipients had effected or embodied noteworthy changes in society.

Some of the honorees also touched Obama on a deeply personal level:

Actor Sidney Poitier, whose breaking of race barriers on film began preparing America years ago for Obama. Archbishop Desmond Tutu, the South African opponent of apartheid. American civil rights leader the Rev. Joseph E. Lowery, co-founder of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference.

Also, Sen. Edward Kennedy, D-Mass., who was too debilitated from brain cancer to accept the award in person. Obama was tender with Kara Kennedy, who accepted on her father's behalf and struggled to keep her composure. Kennedy passed the Camelot torch to Obama last year with his endorsement, and for decades the liberal icon championed the health care overhaul that Obama is trying to push through Congress. Now the decline of JFK's last brother foreshadows the end of an era.

The infamous Pooses for Peace were given a special award for their bravery and valance in helping to bring awareness and change through the absurd past 8 years of King Chimpie W the Bush. Every member of the Bite Patrol and other patrols were given medals and kissed on the head by Michele Obama. The cats arrived 5 minutes before the ceremony. Rumor has it they were hiding out in Hawaii with Captain Jack Sparrow after a colonial vessel had been stolen from Salem MA a few weeks ago. The celebrity cats were wearing tiaras and Versace grass skirts.

the weather is here.. i wish you were beautiful...

Aloha!

ahhh... why didn't we run off to Hawaii sooner? We have been so happy to be here with our host, Captain Jack Sparrow and his mistress, Princess Guacamole. Yes... it is true some of us were quite put out that he had fallen for Her... but hey se la vie... or WhatEvrrrrrrr. So what if she is a princess who has inherited the Guacamole Valley.

Face it none of us stood a chance with him. Besides Miss Boo is still secretly dating George Clooney and Zevo is still chasing Keith Olbermann. (give it up and move on Zevo) I am still getting over breaking up with that wanker Royal Corgie. Bloody hell. I should have stayed with the 007 actor. I should have kept taking those meds too. Luna diPoosalita is still smitten with that white thumbed cat Monkay. We all think Nubi is gay, but we will pretend he is a Jedi.

Anyway.... these drinks with the little paper umbrellas are to die for. And sitting by the pool at the Princeville Resort flirting with the cute waiter boys is a blast. I hear there is a darling little gift shop that we may um... hit later after dinner, drinks and and karaoke.

Time for another pina colada... oh cabana boy....

aloha
miss lucy fur lucy fur

Land Ho!

The National Enquirer
Kauai Hawaii

Captain Jack Sparrow Seen with Drunk Pirate Cats

Reliable but unconfirmed sources report seeing a colonial vessel commanded by Captain Jack Sparrow with a crew of drunk cats in pirate costumes entering the waters of Kauai. Authorities are not certain if this is the missing ship that mysteriously vanished from the Salem MA Maritime Festival last weekend.

The FBI and Homeland Security are in pursuit of the lost ship and the pirates that stole it. Salem Mayor Kimberly Driscoll believes it is the work of her nemesis, the infamous group of celebrity cats known as The Pooses for Peace and their Bite & Run Brigades.

Zevo Calamari text messaged a statement to the press earlier today..."Mayor who? Yo ho yo ho....What ship? Um do you think this wench costume makes me look fat? Arrr arr arrr please pass the rum Captain dear..... "

Captain Jack Sparrow Seen on Missing Ship

m
Associated Press
Somewhere on the High Seas.....

US Costguards have reported spotting the missing colonial vessel known as the Kalmar Nyckel out on the high seas in route to Hawaii. The ship mysteriously vanished from the Salem Maritime festival sometime Sunday night.

Unconfirmed sources said that the Captain of the Coast Guard ship claims to have seen Captain Jack Sparrow along with several cats in pirate gear drinking rum and dancing on the ship. The Captain has been put on medical leave and is being watched carefully. Other crew members who wish to remain anonymous also claim to have seen cats in pirate costumes. However one reported seeing a cat dressed as a Jedi, but wearing a patch over his eye. Authorities are still not sure if this ship is the Kalmar Nyckel as the name painted on the vessel was The Calamari Nickelodeon.

Salem's Mayor Kimberley Driscoll wearing her trademark black suit released a statement early this morning. "I have no doubt that those wretched cats, the Pooses for Peace have something to do with this latest travesty that has taken place in my beloved city of Salem. We will find this missing ship and punish those who stole it. .... oh by the way did you hear that no one will be running against me in the next election?"

Colonial Ship Disappears in Salem

Associated Press
Salem MA

The colonial ship known as the Kalmar Nyckel has vanished from its docking space at Pickering Wharf, Salem MA. The ship was in town for the Salem Maritime Festival. Authorities are baffled at how the ship could mysteriously vanish in the middle of the night.

An inebriated man arrested for disturbing the peace early Sunday morning claims to have seen cats dressed as pirates boarding the ship and singing " yo ho yo ho a pirate's life for me..." Salem Mayor Kimberly Driscoll was on vacation when the incident occured.

A press conference from Pickering Wharf is scheduled for noon.

Celebrity Cats Celebrate Grand re-Opening of Pamplemouse!

Associated Press
Salem MA

Hordes of cats wearing tiaras, top hats and one dressed as a Jedi with robe and light saber were seen running through the Salem Farmers Market tonight and through the Essex Street Mall. It is no secret that the celebrity cats known as the Pooses for Peace and their entourage have just returned from hiding from Homeland Security um ..a vacation in Switzerland.

Zevo Calamari, Miss Lucy Fur and Miss Boo all donning their trademark tiaras mingled with the Salem locals tasting cheese and wine. As always they were the life of the party with their celebrity gossip and tidbits on fashion.

Miss Lucy Fur ordered several cases of the Home Grown Red wine for her BFF Oprah. Miss Boo who is rumored to be dating George Clooney was seen buying plates, glasses and cool kitchen gadgets for his villa in Italy. Zevo Calamari, now a Salem resident and owner of Brothel Calamari Casino Calamari plans to hire the Pamplemouse staff to cater all events taking place in the future. (Rachel Ray was fired recently by the cats for undisclosed reasons.)

The infamous Pooses for Peace are known for their Bite & Run attacks on celebrities that wear fur and most of the GW Bush administration in the past 8 years. They have also had several run in with Salem's Mayor Kimberly Driscoll and her black suit. A few nights ago the cats were blamed for the disturbance at Tavern in the Square, aka TITS. No charges were filed as the security cameras were all mysteriously turned off during the incident.

No complaints were reported about the cats tonight. Authorities believe the cats are still at Pamplemouse drinking wine and eating what is left of the cheese. Mayor Driscoll has asked the Salem Police to monitor the Essex Street Mall and arrest any drunk cats seen disturbing the peace.

Cats Cause Disturbance at Salem's Tavern in the Square (TITS)

Associated Press
Salem MA

The latest Salem scandal reached a peak tonight when hordes of cats stormed into the Tavern on the Square, also known as TITS to the locals, The cats ordered rounds of tequila for all and had it put on the Mayor Kimberley Driscoll's tab. After several rounds the cats began dancing on the table tops and biting patrons on the ankles.

Other cats began changing the channels on all the TVs playing the Red Sox game in the Tavern to the Animal Planet channel which caused another fight to ensue between Sox fans and the cats. Most of the jocks are in stable condition at Salem Hospital.

Salem Police were called in to stop the disturbance, but none were available as they were all on street duty for Verizon and Comcast. Several patrons left sneezing and gagging. Others reported lost jewelry and blackberries.

Authorities believe that the cats are the infamous celebrity cats known as The Pooses for Peace. However the Pooses for Peace were last seen in Switzerland hiding out from Homeland Security with the Sisters of Perpetual Holy Cheese. It is rumored that the cats are really a covert agency approved by Obama and they are in Europe for an undisclosed reason. No comment has been made by the White House on the cats.

The cats causing the disturbance at the TITS were in disguise, wearing black suits and black wigs resembling Salem's Mayor Kimberley Driscoll. None were wearing the signature tiaras that the celebrity cats usually don.

Rumors on Facebook have been surfacing all weekend that TITS was given a free liquor license and a free pass from the Salem Health Dept courtesy of the mayor. TITS was also given permission to cut down trees and remove the grass on city property to make room for more outdoor dining. As one cat said "In this town, one paw washes the other. Those with money make their own rules here."

Mayor Driscoll issued a statement. "These cats are a menace to this community. They have caused nothing but trouble since I have been elected. And stop mocking my black suit. I only make $80,000 a year. Do you expect me to wear Versace?" The celebrity cats and the mayor have had an on going feud for the past few years. It began at one of the Haunted Happenings Parade and has escalated since.

Zevo Calamari issued a statement via blackberry "Please pass the cheese and more of that wine. What TITS? Mine are real and spectacular. Mayor Who?

The Sisters of Perpetual Holy Cheese

Associated Press
Somewhere in the Alps.....

CIA agents attempted to investigate reports of the renegade cats known as The Pooses for Peace wanted by Homeland Security. Authorities believe the cats are hiding at a convent run by The Sisters of Perpetual Holy Cheese.

This is not the first time the nuns have been suspected of hiding the cats. In 2007 the cats were wanted by Homeland Security after being accused of biting Dick Cheney. They fled to Switzerland until the matter was forgotten.

Unconfirmed sources claim to have heard the nuns singing "How do you solve a problem like Zevo" after the CIA agents left the convent. No cats were found.

Mysteriously the agents' vehicles were unable to start. Someone had stolen the batteries and unplugged the cables. One CIA agent has reported that his sunglasses are now missing.

The whereabouts of these cats remains unknown.

Deja Vu....

Associated Press
Salzburg, Austria

Last night's final performance at the Salzburg Music Festival ended with a standing ovation, a chase scene and the song Edelweiss floating through the mountain air.

Authorities are baffled by the appearance of a group of singing cats, who called themselves The Von Trapp Poose Singers. They were dressed in costumes made from what appeared to be fabric from hotel drapes. Three were also wearing tiaras.

The cats sang Edelweiss as their last song. The audience sang along with tears in their eyes. After the third standing ovation the cats were no where to be found. Unconfirmed sources believe these cats are the infamous Pooses for Peace who disappeared mysteriously from the San Diego jail this week. They are now wanted by US Homeland Security.

The cats were seen fleeing over the mountains to a nearby convent on the border of Switzerland.

CELEBRITY CATS DISAPPEAR FROM JAIL

CNN BREAKING NEWS.................CELEBRITY CATS POOSES FOR PEACE MISSING FROM SAN DIEGO JAIL..............
AMBER ALERT..................CALL THE FBI IF YOU HAVE ANY INFORMATION................. PRESS CONFERENCE SCHEDULED AT NOON........

Swat Team Surrounds MO's

Associated Press
San Diego CA

The San Diego PD SWAT Team was called in last night to MO's in Hillcrest CA to break up a party and cat fight. Authorities are not releasing any information on the situation at this time. A press conference is scheduled for later this evening.

Unconfirmed sources report that the celebrity cats known as the Pooses for Peace were doing shots of tequila and began taunting tourists wearing We Love Sarah Palin t-shirts. One of the tourists called the cats liberal terrorists and another called Miss Lucy Fur "a fat cat". Miss Lucy Fur has been on a special medication for anger management that loses its potency if alcohol is consumed. The cats went into Bite & Run mode and a fight ensued.

Other celebrity cats were also seen in the skirmish. A black cat wearing a rainbow cape with a light saber along with a small black cat with thumbs and a larger thumbed white cat pulled hair, bit ankles and knees. Presidential candidate Cheysuli was spotted dancing with her entourage the Meezers during the rumble. Baltimore cats Tao and Sarge along with their dog friend Stoli were throwing chips and salsa at the crowd. A schnauzer wearing a Che beret kept screaming Viva la Revolucion! The cats were in Hillcrest this weekend to celebrate Gay Pride. Their float won first place again in the Pride Parade this year.

Several tourists were rushed to the nearest Urgent Care for bites and allergy attacks. Reports of missing jewelry, blackberries and wallets are pouring into the San Diego PD today.

The celebrity cats are in custody at this time. No statement has been released by their lawyer.

Stay tuned for the press conference at 6:00 pm PST

Preparing for the San Diego Pride Parade!

There is so much to do before Saturday's Gay Pride Parade! The Pooses for Peace will have its famous Poose Pride float again in this years parade along with the marching Bite & Run Brigade Band with Cheerleaders. We will be right behind our friends the Dykes on Bikes, who lead the parade every year.

We will be at several parties held in Balboa Park during the day and MO's on Saturday night. All pooses are invited to be a part of the festivities. Please bring your won tiaras, rainbow gear and glitter.

I am so happy to be back in my old neighborhood of Hillcrest and staying with Miss Boo this trip. Nubi and Luna are staying with Miss Lucy Fur. She thought it would be a good distraction for that dog she lives with.

See you on University Avenue in Hillcrest Saturday!!!!!!!!
xoxoxo
zevo

Jedi Cat Saved by The Force

Nubi wan Kenobi, Jedi Poose was attacked and bit yesterday by an alien dog like creature visiting his home in hopes of being adopted. Nubi wan used the force to fly away before the dog could harm him in anyway. Luna diPoosalita was also attacked but flew away to find reinforcements. Zevo Calamari was hung over from the night before um,,, napping at the time and was safe from the alien.

A second attack ensued andNubi wan drew his light saber ..the Force was strong in him and no harm came to him or the alien dog.

With his Jedi powers he waved his paws to his pet humans and said "This is not the dog you are looking for. Move along. "

The pet humans immediately returned the alien dog and promised to think twice about adopting unknown aliens in the future.

A party to celebrate is taking place at the Casino Calamari where the Cantina Band is now playing. Cat nip brownies and margaritas are being served to all.

May the Force be with you.

Pooses for Peace Call for Emergency Session

Hear ye Hear ye we call to order this emergency session by order of Zevo hussein Calamari.

My fellow Pooses, fans, entourage and cohorts in crime um good deeds:

It has come to my attention by one of our covert operative spies that my pet humans will be bringing in a fugitive dog tomorrow to live in MY house. ...without my permission. So shocking.

My sources tell me that this dog was convicted of a crime and sentenced to death but was rescued in the nick of time by a very kind lady who knew her previous owner. We are not sure what crime this dog committed. I heard that she called some little yappy dog a biatch... (and face it those yappy little dogs love to provoke a fight) Or maybe she is a jewel thief like moi? We can only hope she has some skills we can use in our escapades. I am certain we will have to place her in the witness protection program and changer her name.

My roomies Nubi wan Kenobi and the new poose Luna diPoosalita (or whatever her name is this week) are pretending they do not know this information. Of course, Nubi thinks he is a dog so he may be happy to have someone to chase a ball with. Luna thinks she is a flying squirrel.

Right now we are on RED ALERT. We can only hope this dog knows that i am the Alpha Queen poose and all others must take orders from me. Oh...and she better not chew my Jimmy Choos!

Thank you all for your support. Oh.. do you think this collar makes me look fat? Pass me a margarita please.
ciao ciao
zevo
p.s. Our dear friend Monkay, the thumbed poose will be hosting a Red Alert party here at the Casino Calamari tomorrow night. Cuban cigars and brandy with music by the Buena Vista Social Club.......
Fidel was so sweet to provide these things for us.

happy Birthday Frida Kahlo!

I hope the leaving is joyful; and I hope never to return.
Frida Kahlo

The movie Frida will be featured tonight at the Cinema Calamari.

Frida attire is requested, unibrow and red lipstick for females.
Males... sombreros and Diego attire will do!
Featuring an all you can eat Mexican buffett with a margarita bar!
Ole'

Is it safe to come out yet?

This message has been sent by Princess Guacamole on behalf of all the Moose in Alaska.

The Pooses for Peace are recommending that all moose, wolves, bears and furry critters stay in hiding until Sarah Palin is officially out of office and her guns are seized by the FBI. Our covert forces will be attempting to lore her over to Russia. We thank you for your patience and help in this matter.

Pooses for Peace Blamed for Sarah Palin's Resignation

In a shocking turn of GOP events, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin announced today in a rambling speech believed to be wriiten by one of her kids who quit high school, that she was quitting her job at the end of the month -- unleashing a torrent of speculation about her plans, motivation and the insanity of such a seemingly confounding decision.

Some believe Palin plans to run for president in 2012. Other unconfirmed sources believe that Palin is being forced to step down by her nemisis, the Pooses for Peace. The cats along with David Letterman, John Kerry and the liberal press have been making Palin's life a living hell.

Palin has gained weight from the stress of the surprise Bite & Run attacks that have been happening on a weekly basis. GOP pundits believe the Obama administration has hired the cats as covert agents to drive Palin out of politics as a Fourth of July gift to the USA.

Wearing what seemed to be ankle and knee guards under her Wal-mart suit at her lakefront home in Wasilla, Alaska, Palin suggested that she would remain active in national politics. "We know we can effect positive change outside of government, I will keep my promise to make sure the antics of those wretched liberal cats are stopped for good." she said in making the announcement, flanked by her husband, Todd, and members of their family all sneezing. An odd odor permeated the air during the announcement.

The Pooses for Peace are currently in Salem MA preparing their float for the annual 4th of July Horribles Parade held at the Salem Willows. The parade is a mockery of local and national politics. It is customary for the Mayor of Salem and her black suit to be mocked each year. Mayor Driscoll has yet to attend the parade. Unconfirmed sources claim the mayor is worried the cats will try to force her out of office before the next election too.

Zevo Hussein Calamari issued a statement today "Happy Birthday America... So nice to celebrate this Fourth with an intelligent President in office who can speak in complete sentences. Sarah Who? Where's Wasilla? Does this black suit and wig make me look fat? Bo, pass me that flask please............"

Happy Birthday Luna diPoosalita

Today is Luna diPoosalita's 2nd birthday. We will have a small gathering tonight with a tuna platter and a round of chase the laser light. A low key event after the weekend partying with Jimmy Buffett!

happy birthday little miss BIG foot!!!!!!!

Pooses for Peace Sing With Jimmy Buffett

AP
TWEETER CENTER MA

This evening hordes of cats, dogs and a few skunks poured into the Tweeter Center dressed in Parrothead attire to welcome Jimmy Buffett back to New England. The cats crawled under fences and climbed trees avoiding those taking tickets at the entrance gates. The dogs got in by pretending to be guide dogs even though most were wearing hawaiian shirts. Skunks were not questioned.

Buffett is friends with the leaders of the Pooses for Peace and has performed at the Casino Calamari on several occasions. It was no surprise to most of the Parrotheads in the crowd that celebrity cats Zevo Calamari, Miss Boo and Miss Lucy Fur ran on stage with Jimmy to sing backup vocals to Margaritaville. (The national anthem for the Pooses for Peace) The trio wore matching tiaras with parrot feathers, coconut bras and grass skirts with catnip flowered leis.

Other members of the Pooses for Peace on stage included Nubi wan Kenobi in a floral jedi robe singing harmony, Bubba, Tao and Sarge played the steel drums. Monkay and Luna the thumbed duo played bongos, ex-presidential candidate Cheysuli along with all her Meezer friends and fan club (too numerous to name or try to use html!) danced along with the Coral Reefer Band.

As always the concert was a good time for all. Before the last song of the evening Mr Buffett said. " I want to thank my friends the Pooses for Peace for their hard work in helping to elect our new President and for their effort and bravery while conducting their Bite & Runs. Lets hear it for the Pooses for Peace out there!"

Unconfirmed sources believe that Buffett, his band and hundreds of cats, dogs and maybe skunks are at the Casino Calamari in Salem MA for an after party. Jimmy Buffett has requested that the cats and their friends return for this Saturday's concert at the Tweeter Center.

In other Salem News, the Farmers Market opened at the Old Town Hall Square on Thursday. An undisclosed source has reported that Mayor Kimberly Driscoll wore ankle and knee guards underneath her signature black drab suit to the opening ceremony as a precaution. Driscoll received an anonymous note earlier this week saying "Thursday...Be Green, Wear Green or Else. No incident of a Bite & Run has been reported. However a parrot was reported flying overhead screaming "Black Suit AHHHH Black Suit Aaaaa...." Mayor Driscoll thinking it was the parrot of Capt Jack Sparrow swooned, and fainted. She is in stable condition and no jewelry has been reported missing.

Bono Invites Pooses for Peace on Pub Crawl

ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT!

This just in from the Emerald Isle........ Rock legend Bono has invited all members of the Pooses for Peace to join him in a pub crawl tomorrow night in Dublin. This Pub Crawl will be known as the Pubs for Peace Crawl.

Celebrity cats Zevo Calamari, Miss Boo, Miss Lucy Fur have been seen walking the streets of Dublin today wearing emerald tiaras and Bono sunglasses. (Unconfirmed sources report that Bono gave the cats their own sunglasses so that his would not disappear.) The cats and their entourage will be staying with Bono at his castle. Authorities are still keeping close tabs on the cats until the mystery of Lindsay Lohan's jewels is solved. As of now there is no proof the cats had any part in the theft.

Hordes of cats have been pouring into the city all day. Other celebrity cats who are members of the Pooses for Peace, too numerous to name are also taking part of the festivities. Rumors are flying through Merry Ole' that Her Majesty's missing corgis are also taking part in the crawl.

Next up on Entertainment Tonight - Lindsay Lohan declares war on the Pooses for Peace. Stay tuned........

Jewels missing after Lindsay Lohan photo shoot

LONDON (Reuters) - Diamond jewels worth around 250,000 pounds ($410,000) have gone missing after a London photo shoot involving U.S. actress Lindsay Lohan, British police said Tuesday. "Officers from Westminster police are investigating an allegation of theft of jewelry from studios in Brewery Road, Islington," the police said in a statement.

British media said the jewels were made by Dior and loaned to Elle magazine for the shoot in north London on June 6.

"The theft was reported to a central London police station on 8 June 2009 after earrings and a necklace, believed to be diamond and estimated to be worth in the region of 250,000 pounds, were found to be missing approximately two days earlier. A security guard has reported a decrease in mice in the vicinity."

The police said there had been no arrests, and that they would be interviewing several people in connection with their inquiry. Unconfirmed sources believe that the missing jewels are the work of the infamous Pooses for Peace celebrity cats.

The leaders of the group, Miss Zevo Calamari, Miss Boo and Miss Lucy Fur along with their entourage, were all in London the past week shooting for Vougue magazine. They are friends of Donatella Versace and will be featured in the Fall issue wearing her latest couture. Paparazzi overheard Zevo complaining that her pet human has been neglecting the Adventures of Zevo Calamari & Boo blog because she needs a new computer. Authorities are not sure if this is the motive for the theft or if the two are connected.

The cats and Lindsay Lohan have had a turbulent past. Lohan has accused the cats of the perpetrators of BIte & Run attacks on several occasions while she was wearing fur. She claims the cats also stole her designer sunglasses and jewelry in the attack of 2008.

British authorities believe the Queen's missing corgis are also in London with the celebrity cats and hope to retrieve them soon for Her Majesty.

Zevo Calamari issued a statement "What jewelry? Lindseeee Who? Do you think this Versace strapless makes me look fat? Pass me that flask please, i have the taste of stink insect in my mouth......."

In Loving Memory

Our dearest leader of the Poop and Run brigade, Lady aka Poopalina has crossed over the rainbow bridge today. She was a dear sweet poose and will be missed by all.

We send healing thoughts and much love to her pet humans, Pamela, Doug and Julian and her roomates Stoli, Tao and Sarge.

Dog is God spelled backwards. She is now a Divine Canine.

love
zevo and the pooses for peace

President Obama to Give Commencement Speech!

The Calamari Institute of Professional Biting is proud to announce that this year's commencement speech will be delivered by President Obama. The Pooses for Peace and their legions of brigades helped Obama win the presidency. He has remained a loyal friend to the cats. Many believe the cats are now advisors to the White House.

Graduation will take place this Saturday at the campus. A party will follow that evening at the Casino Calamari

For security purposes, the location of this fine university has always been kept a secret. The Secret Service will be present at this event, but are not worried that any wingnut protesters or paparazzi will be able to find the hidden school. Only the cats, dogs and skunks who attended the school or are part of the Pooses for Peace brigades will be allowed in.

The Institute also known as Bite U teaches how to bite ankles, knees and other fun human parts. Accelerated classes include the art of covert biting. Many of the graduates have gone on to bite celebrities and many politicians, such as Mike Huckabee, Mittens Romney, Ann Coulter, Dick Cheney, The Bush twins, Nicole Richie, P Diddy, Karl Rove, Paris Hilton, Dr Phil and countless others.

Unconfirmed sources claim that Bo the First Dog will be among the graduates and will be presented as an honored member of the Pooses for Peace Bite & Run Brigade.

The graduation party details will be announced later this week.

On another note... Miss Zevo Calamari has issued a statement"We regret that we have not been able to visit many other blogs and leave comments. Our pet human still owns a dinosaur mac. We hope that soon part of the government bail out money can be sent to acupuncturists who need new macs! Oh do you think this graduation gown makes me look fat? Pass me that flask please........"

Weapons of Mass Destruction

Meet our newest member of the Pooses for Peace!

Luna Poosalita aka Thumbalina is now a graduate of The Calamari Institute of Biting. Miss Poosalita lives with Zevo Calamari and Nubi wan Kenobi at the Casa de Calamari.

Luna has completed all basic Bite & Run, Poop & Run requirements and is the first freshman of the Institute to complete the advanced courses taught by Monkay, the thumbed poose. Luna and Monkay (the only thumbed pooses in our brigades) will be assigned to all covert escape assignments in the future.

The Graduation ceremony for the Calamari Institute of Biting will take place this Saturday. A party will follow. All pooses are invited!

Prince Harry Attempts to Outsmart Pooses for Peace

Prince Harry was seen hiding behind a magnolia tree in hopes of kidnapping the Queen's fugitive corgis.

The corgis were seen with the infamous Pooses for Peace celebrity cats on a shopping spree today in New York. The Queen has accused the cats of enticing her corgis to flee England to live in California. Miss Lucy Fur has been dating one of the corgis on and off for two years.

Under the guise of visiting Hanover Square today, the prince had hoped he could lore the corgis back to merry Ole' as a gift for his Queen grandmother.

Unconfirmed sources report that three cats wearing tiaras offered to take Harry to a pub and later the Prince was seen dancing on table tops along with the cats. The corgis were said to have fled back into hiding.

Her Majesty has not released a statement, however a shrill HARRY IS DOING WHAT AND WHERE ARE MY BLOODY DOGS ???? was heard coming from the palace.

Happy Towel Day

from Wikipedia
towelday

"Towel Day is celebrated every May 25 as a tribute by fans of the late author Douglas Adams. The commemoration was first held in 2001, two weeks after his death on May 11, 2001. On this day, fans carry a towel with them during the day to demonstrate their participation and mourning of the author. The towel is a reference to Adams's popular science fiction comedy series The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy."

In honor of Douglas Adams we will be wearing our towels all day and reciting passages from his books.

Tonight Cinema Calamari will be showing the movie The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. All pooses are invited.
We will be serving Pangalactic Gargleblasters and mice crepes. Please bring your own towel.
So long and thanks for all the fish!
xoxoxo

Professor Lucy Fur Dares You!

Attention!

My BFF Oprah has decided that we should have an advanced certificate program for the Bite & Run program and she will underwrite the first year's expenses.

Any takers? One of our first challenges will be "How to bite & run while carrying a margarita in your paw".

I think we have a winner here!

Kiss Kiss,

Miss Lucy Fur

In loving memory of Georgia

Georgia, sister to Chey and Gemini crossed over the bridge last night. Please say a little prayer for her and her family.

Her spirit lives on. Good Bye dearest poose.

If you would like to send your condolences please visit their site www.chey.mysiamese.com

Professor Monkay

Professor Monkay reminds students to bring their own locks to pick for the first class and don't forget to do the Extra Credit assignment of finding the floor-plan to your nearest animal experiment farm!

Good news for all those pooses who requested continuing education classes! We will be offering accelerated learning seminars for those who want to master the skill of Biting while running, Poop & Run Tactics and the ever popular Poot & Run class. We are hoping to bring in guest professionals such as Cheysuli, The Meezers Miles & Sammy, and Billy. (we are sorry we cannot do html on this gremlin filled ibook today )