BITE & RUN PATROL STRIKES OLSEN TWINS

Associated Press
New York, New York

Today hordes of cats dressed in black leather, some wearing tiaras, and one in a Jedi robe with light saber descended upon the Olsen twins while they were walking down Fifth Avenue wearing fur, drinking Red Bulls and smoking. The shrills of skinny girls shrieking filled Manhattan. Although there was not much to bite, the stick insects twins were rushed to a nearby hospital and are said to be in stable condition. One was seen munching on tic tacs for dinner.

Spokes poose of The Bite & Run Brigade, Zevo Calamari has sent out a warning to all celebrities who wear fur that they may be next.

In another related story about the Olsen Twins:

PETA has created a new campaign, singling out "Trollsen Twins" Hairy-Kate and Trashley as Animal Kingdom Enemies Number One for wearing pelts and including 'em in their collections Elizabeth and James and the Row.

"No one would argue that Mary-Kate and Ashley could use some meat on their bones, but the last thing they need is hair on their backs," PETA's Assistant Director of Youth Campaigns Dan Shannon said in a statement released today.