City of Salem Calls X-Files Agents For Expert Opinion

Associated Press
Salem MA

Less than a week ago the small city of Salem MA experienced what is believed to be a UFO close encounter over the Haunted Happenings Parade. Several witnesses believe it was the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Salem has a few devotees of this so called pasta God. They are known as pastafarians. The infamous Pooses for Peace are believed to be part of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and were in the parade when the FSM appeared.

Mayor Driscoll blames the celebrity cats for inviting the FSM to the event and upsetting the warm fuzzy family atmosphere of the parade. CIA, FBI and NASA agents are still investigating the event. Agents have been seen dining at In A Pig's Eye and the Lobster Shanty all week. Others have been spotted having tarot readings at the Oracle Chamber and Laurie Cabot's shop. Mayor Driscoll has been seen every night at Cafe Verona ordering pasta dishes. We can only hope she has an extra black suit in a larger size if this continues.

The US government has issued a statement. "There is no such thing as UFOs or a Flying Spaghetti Monster. We are certain it was a weather balloon passing over the parade.

Fox Mulder and partner Dana Scully refused to comment on the possibility that Salem has been over run by aliens. Fox was over heard saying "I want to believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Where can we get a good plate of pasta in this town?"

The so called culprits, the Pooses for Peace have not been seen since Thursday night's parade. Several celebrities and other famous cats were also in the parade. All seem to have vanished over the weekend.

Unconfirmed sources believe the cats are searching for a place in Salem to open a Spaghetti Bar. Mayor Driscoll has announced that all food or liquor permits for any establishment run by the cats will be denied.