Planet Calamari Zazzle shop


Today on Oprah

Don't miss Lucy Fur today on Oprah. Here her tell the poose's side of the nasty cat fight between Paris Hilton, Britany Spears, Linsey Lohan and the celebrity poose brat pack. Oprah's other guests include Danny DeVito and George Clooney.

Oprah is brought to you by Planet Calamari


Nicole Richie Banned from Casino Calamari

Nov 29 (IANS) Actress Nicole Richie has been named the world's worst dressed celebrity by People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA).

According to, the animal rights group said: "This pelt-wearing party girl is all animal skin and bones group. She is an incredible shrinking woman with the heart to match."

Richie was followed by Ashley Olsen and PETA added: "Wearing fur does add 20 pounds, but if Ashley wants to fill out her frame, we suggest using a fork instead."
click here to read more

Fashionista and activist Zevo Calamari has banned Nicole Richie and her fur wearing friends from all future Poose Parties at Casino Calamari. Miss Calamari said "If these dim-witted stick insects want to wear fur, i know several pooses who would be happy to sit on their heads or shoulders for an evening. There is no need to wear a dead poose in the name of fashion."

Visit Planet Calamari a poose friendly planet.


What earrings?

That is the last time i party with Paris and her dim-witted friends. And i am so glad that we all rejected the invite to Pamela Anderson's wedding back when we were in Paris this summer..... what a waste of time that would have been.

I am going to Salem this weekend. Zevo is hosting a surprise birthday gala for her pet human. It should be entertaining and at least we won't be blamed for any missing earrings...

ciao for now,
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Paris Hilton Missing Earrings

Where are my earrings?
....oh wow.... look ...... that is such a totally rad picture of me......

Paris Hilton does not shop at Planet Calamari.....more reasons for everyone else to!


Cat Fight in Hollywood

Hollywood, CA
Brittany Spears and Paris Hilton have been seen hitting the night clubs of LA and Vegas with an entourage of pooses wearing tiaras and leather.

Rumors that a celebrity poose named Boo, bit Spears because she showed up wearing the same leopard skin dress that she had on last night. Spears bit Boo back and a cat fight broke out.
Other sources claim to have seen a Miss Lucy Fur dancing on table tops during the incident.
Several guests at the club have reported to be missing jewelry after all the confusion.

Spears is reported to have had 7 stitches in her ankle and is in stable condition. No word on the whereabouts of the celebrity poose pack this morning.

Poose-cam live from Hollywood is brought to you by Planet Calamari Today is a great day to shop from work.....visit planet calamari. ... your boss will never know!


Feast of the Baby Pig

Baby Pig Calamari 4/14/93 - 11/26/05

Today is the feast day of Saint Baby Pig, now recognized as the patron poose of cheese. Since her passing, several cheese miracles have been performed and apparitions of St Piggy have been seen all over the world.

This well traveled poos was the founder of Pigs for Peace -- for if everyone had a pig...there would be world peace. After her passing, Pigs for Peace became known as Pooses for Peace. She had a Masters Degree in cheesology and a Ph.D. from Harvard. Also a devout zen buddhist who was a true master at the art of mediation while napping.

In honor of this wonderful european poose please kiss your cat today and put out plate of cheese.

I am proud to have had such a wonderful sister. There will be a "all you can eat cheese & turkey buffett" in honor of Baby Pig today here at Casino Calamari. All pooses are invited.




Holiday boredom

It's not what you think.... i am bored and Nubi asked me out to dinner.... i have nothing better to do since Boo is back in Vietnam shopping for more jewelry, hanging out with Brad & Angelina, and Lucy Fur is staying with Oprah this week...
so besides shopping what else i am supposed to do?

He is kind of cute in an annoying way.

p.s....don't forget to shop at Planet Calamari i have a winter wardrobe to maintain.


Holiday shopping with Zevo Calamari

Today is one of my most favorite days... it is the official start of the shopping season! I am way too cool to be seen standing in lines at the mall. ... that is why i shop on line. Of course i wear Versace pajamas while shopping. (Boo wears Dolce Gabbana and of course Lucy Fur wears Victoria's Secret while spending their pet humans money on line. Nubi still wears flannel pjs and it is just so uncool.)

Please help boost the economy and my purse by shopping at the Planet Calamari Store. Most of the proceeds go to me... tho my pet human does not know that. You can also visit other shops at Cafe Press by clicking on the cute square on the left hand side of the blog with the moving pictures.
Have a wonderful shopping spree!


The First Thanksgiving....

On the first Thanksgiving, stow-away pooses aboard the Mayflower held a feast with the Indian pooses who befriended them when they entered this new land. Together they smoked the peace pipe, drank rum and danced to the beat of the native drums. Unlike their human counterparts, the English pooses remained friends with their new Indian friends and respected their customs and their land.

Today pooses in America celebrate this day with a feast, rum and an occasional toke on the peace-pipe while watching the Macy's Day parade in hopes of seeing the Cat in the Hat balloon.

This season pooses encourage their pet owners to stay home and shop in their pjs at Planet gifts for those who dare to be unique!


what phone?

zeevs!!! you wouldn't BELIEVE whose phone numbers we now have!!! call me!


hmmmm...... let's see........ "hello george.......what is barney wearing today?"

Poose-cam by Planet Calamari which is now monitored by Homeland Security

NEWS FLASH: Barbara Bush robbed........

One of US President George W Bush's twin daughters has had her purse and mobile phone stolen in a restaurant in Argentina.

The American TV network, ABC, said the thief struck right under the noses of Secret Service agents guarding Barbara Bush while she was on holidays with her sister Jenna in the South American country. Unconfirmed sources claim to have seen a cat wearing a tiara running away from Secret Service agents.
click here to read more

Poose-cam live from South America brought to you by Planet Calamari

And now a word from your elected pooses......

On behalf of all pooses we urge you to help homeless, hungry pooses everywhere by supporting your local animal shelters. This holiday season make a orphan poose happy by adopting it or donating food.

This message has been approved by the newly elected senators and congress-pooses of Pooses for Peace.

Click here to see some nice shelter pooses at


happy birthday bjork!

On behalf of all Pooses... we would like to wish a happy birthday to one of our favorite fashion icons.... BJORK.

Bjork will be performing at the Thanksgiving day Poose Gala to benefit needy homeless pooses. Tickets can be purchased at the Brothel Calamari. For more details please call 1-800-BOO-ZEVO

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Shhh!.... i am hiding from Zevo. I borrowed some money from her. She has plenty now that she sold that painting... i can't believe she can be so stingy with it.
I have to start my holiday shopping and stock up on Coronas for Thanksgiving dinner.

remember... i am not here
nubi wan kenobi

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Tonight on ET...Oprah's Revenge....

Tonight on ET!
Don't miss the exclusive footage of Tom Cruise being bit by a cat in a bridesmaid's dress during his wedding vows!

Hear Oprah's latest comments on how she was shunned by Tom and Katie ....and how she planned her revenge with the help of her friend, Lucy Fur.

Also on tonight's edition....Madonna adopts another poose-baby from Africa...stay tuned.....

ET brought to you by Planet Calamari


Celebrating the sale of the Goya painting...

I am waiting to hear from Zevo..... Soon we will be celebrating a wonderful business transaction. Those silly FBI agents can be soooo naive. The Goya painting is now in the hands of another famous cat burglar who lives on a remote island. And we now have all the money we need to open the Hamburger Mary's in Salem and buy enough Manolos for the rest of the winter season!

Lucy Fur is in Italy at TomKat's wedding. Oprah is pretty upset she was not invited. Lucy promised to bite Tom for her during the nuptials. That should make a great picture for the cover of PEOPLE.

Happy Saturday... aren't you glad Mercury is no longer retrograde?
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Famed Cat Burglar Missing

11-17-06 (undisclosed location)
what painting?
ps. extradition is not an option!

Poose-cam live from an unknown island is brought to you by Planet Calamari


Goya Painting Suspected to be in Salem, MA

Salem, MA
The FBI said they have a few leads on the stolen Goya painting. The main suspect is said to live in Salem, MA and may have it hanging in her office. Rumors are that it is the famed cat burglar Zevo Calamari and her pack of wild friends. No names have been released. A press conference will be held tomorrow at noon in front of the Bewitched statue.

Poose-cam live from Salem brought to you by Planet Calamari


and now a word from our sponsor....

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My pet human is black-mailing me... if i don't let her post this she may call the FBI about a certain new painting hanging in my office......
So shop with your favorite poose at Planet Calamari....the official sponsor of this blog!

shop until you drop,

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Goya 228-year Old Painting Stolen

What painting?.....never saw it....with all this remodeling up in the brothel how can i keep track of a silly little painting?

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Senator Lucy Fur was on Countdown last night promoting her new book, "Biting the Enemy: The Truth behind Rummy's Demise"
Asked about the law suit she is facing, Lucy replied she is not worried about it at all and is more concerned about what she will wear to Tom and Katie's wedding this weekend in Italy.
Later on the show Lucy flirted and invited Keith to the grand opening of Hamburger Mary's in Salem, MA on New Year's eve (without his girlfriend)
His reply was Good Night and Good Luck.

Olbermann also declared Rumsfeld the Worst Person in the World as well as K-Fed the most pathetic person on the planet.

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Democrats award Lucy Fur Purple Heart

Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi have awarded Miss Lucy Fur the Purple Heart medal for her courageous act of bravery challenging Donald Rumsfeld to step down. Unconfirmed sources claim that Rumsfeld had to have 10 stitches in an undisclosed area of his body and is taking pain medication. Karl Rove and Darth Cheney have been in protective custody since the incident.

Meanwhile Senator Boo is in Vietnam negotiating the release of Poose POWs, (and searching for cool jewelry)

Poose-cam live from Washington DC brought to you by Planet Calamari


Nancy Pelosi loses earrings at Victory Gala

OK.......Very Funny..... Where are my earrings, Speaker Zevo Calamari? By the way Ted is missing his watch too. Tell Senator Lucy Fur we appreciate her help in eliminating Rummy.

Poose-cam live from Washington D.C. brought to you by Planet Calamari


The day after the Victory Party

Oh........ my head. The room is still spinning. What a hangover. I was out partying all night with Ted Kennedy and Nancy Pelosi.
Somone bring me some asprin and coffee
and a trash can......



Pooses for Peace Party win control!

It's official. The Pooses for Peace party have won control over both the House and the Senate in sweeping victory over the Republicans. Speaker of the House Zevo Calamari has promised better wages for poose substitutes, healthcare and a home for all homeless pooses. Senator Lucy Fur took responsiblity for biting Donald Rumsfeld on the ankles and other undisclosed areas of his body until he conceded to step down. Senator Boo from CA is working on a law that would give illegal poose aliens amnesty after 5 years of working. Senator Tao along with CongressPooses Nubi Wan Kenobi and Paris have promised to mend the bad reputation of this country with the rest of the world.
All agree that the chimp look alike in the White House should be replaced with a real chimp.

Poose-cam live from Washington D.C. brought to you byPlanet Calamari


Zevo Calamari on the Daily Show

If you missed last night's Daily Show make sure you watch the rerun.
Zevo Calamari, spokes-poose for Pooses for Peace pleaded with American Pooses to get out there and vote. She encouraged all pooses to make their pet humans vote for a pawsitive change. She called in the Bite Patrol Squad to guard over the polling places to ensure that this time there would be no cheating or voting irregularities. Poose lawyers are standing by.

Poose-cam live from NY brought to you by Planet Calamari


calling all pooses to vote!

Tomorrow is Election Day. On behalf of the Planet, all Pooses and Humans we beseech all pooses to get out there and vote. If you see humans cheating at the polls, make sure the cheaters are bit. Call in the Bite Patrol Squad.

Urge your Pet Humans to vote for a pawsitive change in this country. Vote for the leaders who care about the planet, nature and a peaceful co-existance with ALL.
Looking forward to a Victory celebration soon!
Zevo Calamari
Pooses for Peace


lunch at the ritz

Our room here at the Ritz in Laguna is spectacular. We are planning a nice quiet weekend of R&R to recover from all the Halloween festivities in the past week. Lots of massages, maybe a mani and a pedi, long walks on the beach and of course some shopping. There are so many nicely dressed ladies here wearing stunning jewelry.................

As our friend Jimmy Buffet would say "The weather is here... I wish you were beautiful."

ciao until monday!
zevo, boo & lucy

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2006-11-02 me.
My Poose sitter Rachel is on to me. I really like her. She's a great cook and doesn't seem to mind that i drink champagne in bed.
See if you can hire a really good sub for me so we can take off for Laguna. Lucy said that there is really good jewelry in Vietnam..... maybe we should go see my pet human while she is there.
I know she misses me.
Call me....

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dr dolittle and zevo calamari

I cannot believe some of the things my pet human makes me do. She really needs to get a life.

I think Miss Lucy is right... we all need some R&R after all the parties this past month. Since we are no longer welcome at the Rancho la Puerta in Mexico, or Johnny Depp's get away in France i think we should stay at the Ritz Carlton in Laguna for a few days.

Then i must get back to remodel the brothel & casino for the holidays. The Hamburger Mary's of Salem needs to be open before New Years Eve.
So rest up girls... we have work to do!


feliz dia de los muertos

Every year on the Feast of the Day of the Dead Frida Kahlo and her Gato de Diablo return to dance and celebrate with the living. In honor of all pooses have departed please light a candle tonight and put out a dish of their favorite food.