Planet Calamari Zazzle shop

2008-05-31

Cats and The City

Associated Press
New York

The party premier of Sex and the City took a shocking turn of events when celebrity cats Zevo Calamari, Miss Boo and Lucy Fur strutted in uninvited. The cats were dressed in couture all wearing Manolo shoes with matching purses. All donned tiaras.

To add to the insult of the situation, the cats not only were better dressed than the cast of Sex and the City, but they were also greeted by fans and the paparazzi.

Sarah Jessica Parker asked the cats to leave the party and take their couture elsewhere. Zevo Calamari was heard screaming " How dare you ... you fur wearing stick insect!".

Unconfirmed sources claim a fight then broke out. The cast of the movie are all in stable condition at an undisclosed hospital heavily medicated with antihistamines. Their reps report that all are missing shoes, purses and earrings.

The celebrity cats were seen drinking Cosmopolitans in a swanky Manhattan club later in the evening.

2008-05-29

Cat Fight over Clooney?

George Clooney has apparently split from his girlfriend. The 47-year-old actor is said to be “relieved” he is a bachelor again, and felt his one-year relationship with 29-year-old Sarah Larson had reached its natural end.

A source told in Poose Weekly magazine: “George is relieved to be single again. He thinks Sarah is sweet but was very jealous of his relationship with celebrity cat Miss Boo, one of the founders of the infamous Pooses for Peace".

According to a friend of the former Las Vegas cocktail waitress Sarah, George admitted sending Miss Boo a bottle of French Perfume from Cannes earlier this week. Sarah in a fit of jealousy gave him an ultimatum... "me or that darn cat".

George admitted his heart belonged to Miss Boo. Unconfirmed sources claim that later that day Sarah Larson was mysteriously bit on her ankles and knees and had an allergy attack. Her diamond tiara she wore to the Oscars is missing. Sarah Larson moved out of his home that night.

Miss Boo was seen dancing with gal pal Lucy Fur at Mo's in Hillcrest, CA on Tuesday night wearing a stunning diamond tiara. Lucy Fur recently split from an on an off again relationship with one of the Queen's corgies.

2008-05-27

Oh la la...

Oh my! Wasn't it so sweet of dear George Clooney to send me this expensive French perfume from Cannes? He is such a sweet man and so supportive. He totally understood that i had to spend the weekend at the Kennedy Compound. I am sure he will invite me to his Italian villa for the summer soon. oh la la!

I really do wish i could have been with him at the Cannes Film festival over the weekend. Then again, he was hanging out so much with Brad and Angelina... and that gets soooo old! How many kids does she need? Really!

So i am back in San Diego. Miss Lucy Fur and i will probably head over to Mo's later for a few drinks. Lucy Fur is single again... after that nasty breakup with the Queen's corgies. Maybe she will meet someone tonight!
Zevo is back in Salem resting up for our next Bite & Run.

So many ankles.. ... so little time!
oxoxoxo
Miss Boo

2008-05-26

2008-05-25

Happy Towel Day!


From Wikipedia
towelday

"Towel Day is celebrated every May 25 as a tribute by fans of the late author Douglas Adams. The commemoration was first held in 2001, two weeks after his death on May 11, 2001. On this day, fans carry a towel with them during the day to demonstrate their participation and mourning of the author. The towel is a reference to Adams's popular science fiction comedy series The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy."

In honor of Douglas Adams we will be wearing our towels all day and reciting passages from his books.

Tonight Cinema Calamari will be showing the movie The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. All pooses are invited.
We will be serving Pangalactic Gargleblasters and mice crepes. Please bring your own towel.

In honor of Bonnie Underfoot who left us this week we are sending hugs and purrs to all. Pass along a hug today.

So long and thanks for all the fish!
xoxoxo

2008-05-24

Hillary Bit!


Hillary Clinton was the latest victim of a Bite & Run Attack today. Unconfirmed sources claim that a black cat dressed in a Jedi robe carrying a light saber was seen fleeing the scene. Mrs Clinton is in stable condition at an undisclosed hospital.
Mrs. Clinton said "My husband did not wrap up the nomination in 1992 until he won the California primary somewhere in the middle of June, right? We all remember Bobby Kennedy was assassinated in June in California. I don't understand it."

Presidential Candidate Cheysuli said "Now, should I be assassinated, please do not let Hillary weasel out of it. I know she'll be behind it."

Why Hillary ? asked reporters to the leaders of the Bite and Run Brigade. "Why does assassination have to do with anything? ... dah!!!!!!!!!" said Spokes-poose Zevo Calamari of The Pooses for Peace who is staying at the Kennedy Compound in Cape Cod this weekend.


2008-05-23

CNN BREAKING NEWS

CNN BREAKING NEWS

Nancy Grace is the latest victim in a string of Bite & Run Attacks that have occurred in the past few days in major news studios. While rambling on in that whiney voice giving her legal opinion during today's show, hordes of cats dressed in black leather jackets descending upon her biting, scratching and spreading dander. CNN broke to a commercial as soon as she began screaming obscenities about the cats.

Miss Grace is in stable condition at an undisclosed hospital and heavily medicated with antihistamines. During the attack she seemed to have lost a pair of earrings, a Rolex watch and her Manolo shoes. Also during the Bite & Run Attack, another group of cats, dogs and skunks invaded CNN. This latest type of invasion is known as a Poop & Run Attack. CNN studios were closed for several hours and fumigated. Wolf Blitzer was seen walking barefoot to his limousine after his show. Authorities are baffled how the cats were able to pull off such an attack.

Zevo Calamari who is currently staying at the Kennedy Compound with her Pooses for Peace partners, Miss Boo and Miss Lucy Fur, was asked by reporters why Nancy Grace was attacked by her special forces. She responded "Who? What attack? What earrings? I am very busy and important and can't be bothered with annoying blonde whiney women who wear pantsuits........ Teddy, would you be a dear and please have one of your staff bring us over another martini?"

2008-05-21

Meanwhile on Cape Cod...........

Associated Press
BOSTON MA

Sen. Edward M. Kennedy gave a thumbs up to well-wishers and kisses to relatives as he walked out of the hospital Wednesday, a day after learning he has a cancerous brain tumor.

Kennedy's dogs, Sunny and Splash, met him at the hospital door. Kennedy was accompanied by The Leaders of the Pooses for Peace, Miss Zevo Calamari, Miss Boo and Miss Lucy Fur, all wearing candy striper outfits with matching pink nurse hats with rhinestones.

Hospital workers and well-wishers greeted Kennedy and the cats with applause. Before he and his wife, Vicki, got into a dark Chevrolet Suburban, he kissed his daughter, Kara, and his niece Caroline Kennedy, and embraced his son, Rep. Patrick Kennedy, D-R.I and thanked all the cats who have been sending healing purrs his way.

The Pooses for Peace will be staying at the Kennedy Compound for the rest of the week.

In other news several Bite & Run attacks were reported by Right wing talk hosts last night and today. A Poop & Run Attack took place at the FOX NEWS studio during Bill O'Reily's show. Unconfirmed sources claim that the entire studio had to be closed and fumigated. Bill O'Reilly had to throw his shoes away and walk to his car barefoot.

POOSE NEWS UPDATE! Thursday May 22, 2008 A Healing Purr In for Senator Kennedy has been declared by
presidential candidate Cheysuli

All pooses are welcome to take part. The Pooses for Peace will be having a private Purr In at the Kennedy Compound all week. Bite and Run Patrols are still on Red Alert.

2008-05-20

Breaking News

We just heard some very sad news about our dear friend, Senator Kennedy. He has been diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor. This is very disturbing.

We always thought of him as our Lion in the Senate... one of us only bigger and louder! He has come to the aid of those who needed him and defended many of our civil rights. One of the few Senators willing to stand up and do the right thing .. kind of in a left way.

(He has bailed The Pooses for Peace out of Gitmo, sprung us from jail and a few other close encounters we have had with Homeland Security, the FBI and the CIA.) For those of you who are new to this blog click here to read about a 2007 incident that our friend Teddy helped us with!

We wish him a very speedy recovery in hopes he can return to Congress soon to kick some butt

The immediate Pooses for Peace staff will be doing round the clock duty at the Boston hospital Senator Kennedy is staying. We will be there to give comfort and healing purrs and head-butts to him and his family. We will have a special Bite Patrol Unit on call to bite anyone who tries to defame him during this trying time. (Yes... all you so called reporters at Fox News better wear your ankle guards!)

We ask all other pooses to send healing purrs and thoughts to him and his family, and his dog Splash.

Get Well Senator Lion!
The Pooses for Peace

2008-05-19

Happy Wesak

Happy Wesak. Today is Buddha's Birthday. So we are going to do our best and try to behave today.

I think it will be a day we will nap for peace. Meditate on positive thoughts and leave the biting until later in the week!

(We are sorry we will not be around to visit everyone today. This post was written on Sunday so that we don't have to turn the computer on today!)

Have a wonderful Wesak!

Namaste


For more info on this day read this wiki article

2008-05-17

Thank You!

Founders of the Pooses for Peace and Bite & Run Brigade
Dedicated to helping spread peace on this planet...
and biting for our civil rights!



Happy Saturday. We would like to thank Maggie, Zoey and their pet human Ann at zoolatry for these wonderful graphics. Visit their blog to see more of us and other great pooses.

Have a great weekend. We will be resting up and meeting on Monday to plan our next Bite & Run attack. Who's next?

xoxoxox
The Pooses for Peace
So many ankles... so little time!

2008-05-16

Today on The Poose Food Network

Welcome to Cooking with the Pooses brought to you by The Poose Food Network.

Today's guest chef is Nubi Hussein wan Kenobi, a Jedi Poose.

Nubi is also the bodyguard for Presidential Candidate Cheysuli and tormentor of roomie with celebrity cat Zevo Hussein Calamari.

Today Nubi will share with us an old Jedi recipe served on the Forest Moon of Endor known as May the Force be in Your Stew.

Later in the show Miss Lucy Fur will share her special mojito recipe and Miss Boo will show you how to whip up a tasty bacon and tuna torte!

Tomorrow on Cooking with the Pooses, Baltimore celebrities Tao and Sarge along with Bubba from Florida, will be demonstrating the fine art of steaming crabs with Natty Boh. It's a show you don't want to miss, hon.

Bon Appetite!

2008-05-15

Countdown Kiss and Run?



On the Wednesday Edition of Countdown Keith Olbermann told President Bush to "Shut up".

After the show Keith Olbermann was swarmed by cats dressed in what appeared to be costumes from the movie Star Wars. Those in the studio feared that Olbermann was being attacked by the infamous Bite & Run Brigade. However in a shocking turn of events he was kissed gently and thanked by each cat.

One cat wearing dressed as Princess Leia in the slave bikini outfit sat on his lap and purred, until asked to leave. Unconfirmed sources believe that cat was Zevo Calamari, one of the founders of the Pooses for Peace. The only casualty of the event was Mr. Olbermann's suit which was covered in cat hair. Later Olbermann joined the cats at a Star Wars themed birthday party for George Lucas. He came dressed as Hans Solo.

Here is a small portion of Keith's commentary last night:

"Mr. President,” he was asked, “you haven’t been golfing in recent years. Is that related to Iraq?
“Yes,” began perhaps the most startling reply of this nightmarish blight on our lives as Americans — on our history.
“It really is. I don’t want some mom whose son may have recently died to see the Commander-in-Chief playing golf. I feel I owe it to the families to be as — to be in solidarity as best as I can with them. And I think playing golf during a war just sends the wrong signal.”
Golf, Sir?
Golf sends the wrong signal to the grieving families of our men and women butchered in Iraq?
Do you think these families, Mr. Bush - their lives blighted forever — care about you playing golf?
Do you think, Sir, they care about you?
You, Mr. Bush, let their sons and daughters be killed.
Sir, to show your solidarity with them - you gave up golf?
Sir, to show your solidarity with them - you didn’t give up your pursuit of this insurance-scam, profiteering, morally and financially bankrupting war.
Sir, to show your solidarity with them - you didn’t even give up talking about Iraq - a subject about which you have incessantly proved without pause or backwards glance, that you may literally be the least informed person in the world?
Sir, to show your solidarity with them, you didn’t give up… your
4,000 dead Americans and your response… was to stop playing golf!
Golf.
Not “gulf” - golf.

To read more what Keith said visitcrooksandliars.com

2008-05-14

Tonight at Cinema Calamari


Join us tonight at The Cinema Calamari
for our Star Wars Film Festival Party
to celebrate George Lucas's birthday.


It will be an out of this world party!

We will have an all you can eat buffet of tuna, ham, and stinky goodness.

Open Bar with Space Nip-tinis.

Music by the Cantina Band of Mos Eisley.

Special Guests: George Lucas and The Mighty Chewbacca

Please come dressed in costume!


May the force be with you....

2008-05-12

Bite Patrol a No Show at Wedding?

AP
Crawford Texas

Security was tightened for the wedding of George Bush's daughter Jenna this past Saturday. Unconfirmed sources claim that the family and Homeland Security were expecting a Bite & Run Attack during the wedding by the infamous Pooses for Peace. All members of the bridal party wore ankle guards as a precaution. The bride wore a special diamond clad ankle guard to match her Oscar de La Renta gown.

CIA, FBI, Swat patrols, Texas Rangers and Homeland security were on the highest elevated alert for the entire day on the look out for any suspicious cats. No Bite & Run Attacks were reported. No cats were seen at all in Crawford that day.

An anonymous guest claims that the wedding went as planned and the only interruption was a temper tantrum thrown by Jenna Bush when she discovered her earrings were no longer on her ears. Jenna's twin sister Barbara also lost a diamond bracelet at the reception. Another guest who wishes to remain anonymous reported that both were drinking heavily.

2008-05-11

happy mother's day!

Shhhhhhh...... we are letting her sleep in for Mother's Day!

We wish all the poose moms a very happy Mother's Day! Thank you for taking such good care of us!

xoxoxo
zevo & nubi

2008-05-09

Poose Congress Session Called


An emergency session of the Poose Congress (all members of the Pooses for Peace) has been called today. During this session we will determine when the next Bite & Run will be scheduled. (All Bite & Runs include the Poop & Run Brigade as well as the Whap & Run Brigade.)

Right now we are discussing the option of biting at um, attending Jenna Bush's wedding tomorrow or resting up for a more worthy cause.

Do we really want to go to Crawford, Texas on tomorrow? Laura Bush really should be bit for her nasty comments about Myanmar. Then again..... is the food really going to be worth it? I think they are serving pizza.

We will begin voting. Pooses... cast your votes now for the next Bite & Run.

2008-05-07

Siete de Mayo

Due to technical difficulties we are taking a few days off.......

Can someone shut off the lights and bring some aspirin?

oh my poor poose head

2008-05-05

Feliz Cinco De Mayo!

Hola Gatos!
Estamos teniendo una gran fiesta esta noche. Habrá mucho tequila y la comida para todos. Música Mariachi. Por favor, únase a nosotros!

For all you gringo cats here is the translation! We are having a big party tonight. There will be lots of tequila and food for all. Mariachi Music too. Please join us!

Boys, bring your own sombreros. Uni-brows, red lipstick and traditional Mexican costumes are a must for all girls.

Ole!
frida hussein calamari y nubi juan hussein kenobi









2008-05-02

Paws for a commercial break.......

We would like to thank all of you who have purred and prayed for Nubi these past few days. He is doing well and i am very happy to have him home again. (Zevo is still miffed he has returned!) We are going to take a few days off from blogging this weekend and hope to return Monday for Cinco de Mayo. (I hear that these pooses are planning quite the fiesta! Meanwhile here is some important info that i would like to share with everyone.)



Rescue Remedy is one of my most favorite products to use for calming and reducing stress. I use it in my acupuncture practice. Dogs, cats, kids and humans all respond positively to it. It is safe. It does not interfere with any medication.
The effect is very subtle, however it does work.

It can be added to your pet's water. Sometimes i will spray a dog cookie with Rescue Remedy before i begin an acupuncture session with a dog. If i am treating a cat i massage a bit into their ears and the top of their head. You can also add it to any drink for humans. I also use it on my plants.

Rescue Remedy is also wonderful for those days you have to take your pet to the vet, or if there is any trauma or situation that causes stress.

I add it to Zevo & Nubi's water. Lately i have also been using another Bach Flower essence "Holly" for Zevo's jealousy. (Please don't tell her!)

You can find Bach Flower remedies at most health food stores, Whole Foods, The Vitamin Shoppe or online.

From the Bach Flower website:

"The original Bach Rescue Remedy

  • Impatiens: For those who act and think quickly, and have no patience for what they see as the slowness of others. They often prefer to work alone. Teaches empathy and understanding of and patience with others. We've found it very fast-acting in alieviating an impatient attitude and lowering stress.
  • Star of Bethlehem: For trauma and shock, whether experienced recently or in the past. Teaches the ability to recover from traumas and to integrate them into the present life.
  • Cherry Plum: For those who fear losing control of their thoughts and actions and doing things they know are bad for them or which they consider wrong. Teaches trust in one's spontaneous wisdom and the courage to follow one's path.
  • Rock Rose: For situations in which one experiences panic or terror.
  • Clematis: For those who find their lives unhappy and withdraw into fantasy worlds. They are ungrounded and indifferent to the details of everyday life. Teaches one to establish a bridge between the physical world and the world of ideas; may foster great creativity. Is also used to bring clarity and alertness to the present moment.
These combinations of Bach Flower Essences that is especially beneficial when you find yourself in traumatic situations, such as, stress, emergencies, after getting bad news, before an exam or job interview and all other kind of situations where we suddenly lose balance mentally. The Essences quickly get us back in our normal balance so that we calmly can deal with any situation. "

Have a great weekend!
xoxoxo
zevo's pet human
jeanie marie

ps.....if you would like to watch a dog get acupuncture please visit my website at www.fourpawsacupuncture.com

Visit Boo's pet human's acupuncture website at www.missionvalleyacu.com
or Zevo's male pet human's acupuncture page at www.MyAcuDoc.com