Planet Calamari Zazzle shop


Happy New Year's Eve!

Hillcrest, CA

The rainbow section of San Diego known as Hillcrest has been flooded with hordes of well dressed cats and celebrities today, coming in from all over the country. Tonight the celebrity cats known as the Pooses for Peace will be holding their New Years Eve gala at Mo's, (formerly known as Hamburger Mary's).

Miss Lucy Fur and Miss Boo who still live in Hillcrest coordinated the last minute party details. Extra tequila has been brought up from Mexico for the party. Unconfirmed sources report that George Clooney may be escorting Miss Boo to the party. Donatella Versace flew in this morning with couture for the cats to wear this evening.

Miss Lucy Fur, BFF with Oprah has brought in Racheal Ray to cook for the evening. Many are concerned that Miss Lucy Fur is once again off her medication. The last time the cats had a party at MO's the San Diego swat team was called in for a cat fight started by Lucy Fur. Dr Phil filed a restraining order against Miss Fur last year.

Members of the Bite & Run, Poot and Run and Poop and Run brigades have been invited. There are too many to name. (We apologize for not providing links to all the cats attending or invited since we are typing on an iBook that has been feuding with

Paparazzi are hoping ex presidential canditate Cheysuli will be attending the party this year. Her former bodyguard, Nubi wan Kenobi arrived with roomie Zevo Calamari this morning.

Spokes-poose Zevo Calamari issued a statement as she stepped out of her solar powered limo this morning : "We would like to thank every member of The Bite & Run, Poop & Run and all other Brigades who worked so hard this year for our cause. So many ankles... so little time. But we did it! It was hard. But thanks to your persistance, and lots of tequila we won the battle. We look forward to a positive 2009, and the end of King Chimpy and his evil friends on 1/20/09. Happy 2009....yes we can. Yes we did. Pass me that flask please..........."

The party at MO's begins tonight at 5:00 pm and ends at 2:00 am or when the swat team arrives There will be a house-trashing party at Miss Boo afterwards. The cats ask everyone to bring their own tiaras or top hats.


Party moved to San Diego............

Zevo .... call me!

I hear that another snow storm will be hitting your area tomorrow. Let's move the New Years Party from Casino Calamari to Mo's in San Diego...then afterwards we can have a house-trashing party at my place.

Miss Lucy Fur and i will take care of all the details. Bring your tiara! I guess you can bring Nubi too!!
See you later.
ciao ciao


Jimmy Buffett Stranded in Salem....Again!

Unconfirmed sources report that Jimmy Buffett is snowed in..again... at the Casino Calamari in Salem, MA. Due to the mandatory No Parking Don't Even Think About Parking Ever Snow ban, his tour bus was forced to park in the Salem Ferry Lot, which has not seen a snow plow in days. ( It seems that every time Mr Buffett visits the Casino Calamari he gets stranded there.) Odd coincidence....

Mayor Kim Driscoll is not happy that the Salem Police have been called in..again.. due to the loud singing and noise coming from the Casino on Christmas night. A birthday party honoring Mr Buffett was given by his close friends, The Pooses for Peace.

The celebrity cats have been nothing but a thorn in her side since she became the mayor of Salem. (Unconfirmed sources say the Mayor is miffed she was not invited to the party due to her poor fashion sense and her refusal to wear a coconut bra with the mandatory parrot head grass skirt instead of her black suit.)

Cats wearing coconut bras, grass skirts and leis invited the police to join the party. Several of the cats had parrots perched on their tiaras. Mayor Kimberly Driscoll denies all reports of Salem Police drinking margaritas and sporting grass skirts. (The mayor is concerned that the Salem Police have already had enough bad press due to the You-Tube incident that happened near Halloween.)

At this time the music and noise continues at the Casino Calamari. Un-manned police cars are still parked outside the Casino. The neighbors who filed the complaint have since been seen wearing orchid leis over their parkas, while drinking margaritas and dancing in the snow,


Happy Birthday....J........

Happy Birthday Jimmy Buffett!
Today is a Pastafarian Holy Day.

Tonight at the Casino Calamari

Jimmy Buffett and the Coral Reefer Pooses

All you can drink margaritas and shots of tequila!
Poose buffet of ham, tuna and cat nip brownies
Bring your own parrothead attire

Ho Ho Ho and a Bottle of Rhum
(lyrics by jimmy buffett & ross kunkel-
Music by jimmy buffett roger guth & peter mayer)
Santa's stressed out as the holiday season draws near
He's been doing the same job now going on two thousand years
He's got pains in his brain and chimney scars cover his buns
He hates to admit it, but christmas is more work than fun
He needs a vacation from bad decorations and snow
Mr. claus has escape plans, a secret that only he knows
Beaches and palm trees appear night and day in his dreams
A break from his wife, his half frozen life
The elves and that damn reindeer team

Ho ho ho and a bottle of rhum
Santa's run off to the caribbean
He thinks about boat drinks and fun in the sun
Ho ho ho and a bottle of rhum

Plastic creations and crass exploitations aren't good
He wants to go back to simple toys made out of wood
Just for the weekend he'd like to be peter pan
Get out his long johns and dance with a sword in the sand

Ho ho ho and a bottle of rhum
Santa's run off to the caribbean
Marimbas, calimbas, he's playing steel drums
Ho ho ho and a bottle of rhum

Merry Christmas too!
the pooses for peace


Happy Holidays to All!

It is fiesta time at Casa de Calamari!

Time to break out the margaritas and the Jimmy Buffett CDs! We are going green this year and sending our holiday wishes via email.

Wishing everyone a:

• Blessed Solstice

• Happy Hanukkah

• Festivus for the Rest of Us

• Merry Christmas

• Feliz Navidad

• Buon Natale

• Happy Birthday Jimmy Buffett

• Groovy Kwanzaa

• and a Yes We Can Have a Better New Year!

Ole' to All!
May the Flying Spaghetti Monster touch you with his Noodly Appendage. RAmen!
the pooses for peace

ps we will not be visiting much these next few days since the pet human is on the old ibook which does not like!


A Festivus for the Rest of Us!

Happy Festivus!

We invite everyone to the Festivus Celebration at the Casino Calamari tonight. We will be putting up our pole at 5:00 pm followed by the reciting of the List of Grievances and then the Strengths of Feat.

The cast of Seinfeld will be there to party with us!

Wishing everyone a Festivus Miracle!


Festivus Eve Rantings

I am preparing my list of grievances for tomorrows Feast of Festivus. Do you like my Holiday Hut? It's not bad for a recycled Cafepress box. I think it should be filled with more cat nip and several more birdie toys. I suppose i will have to add these things to my list.

As you can see our tree is only decorated with a tiny strand of lights and a Flying Spaghetti Monster tree topper. I helped make that. However during the entire time the pet human was crocheting his Noodly appendages she kept screaming "Nubi stop eating the yarn! STOP IT NOW!". This shall be one of my grievances on the list.

The pet humans will not put any presents under the tree since we like to eat the ribbon then puke it up at 3;00 am. (That will be another one of my grievances... the lack of ribbon to eat!) Oh and they won't put tinsel or anything else we could eat or whap on the tree. So unfair.

While i am making out the list i would like to add the following grievances:

I do not like that the female pet human leaves for several hours each day. She should stay home and nap with me.

The male pet human should feed me more and allow me to go outside without supervision.

I do not think it is fair that Zevo has seniority over me. Just because she has been with them for 15 years and i have only been with them for 2 is just not right.

I think they should buy me some real birds to chase around the house this Christmas instead of the fake birdie toys.

I should be paid $5 every time they scream "Nubi get down off of that_________!"(fill in the blank) Then i could retire and buy a much better holiday hut somewhere warm with real birds.

I do NOT appreciate the female pet human's singing ...especially when she sings the "Smelly Cat" song while cleaning the cat box. Nor do i appreciate her calling me a "poose-head" when i am causing trouble.

I have many more complaints...but it is my nap time.

Wishing everyone a Happy Festivus for the rest of us.


nubi wan kenobi, Jedi poose

p.s. Join us tomorrow for our annual Festivus party at the Casino Calamari.


Happy Winter Solstice

Happy Solstice! Happy Birthday Frank Zappa! (Today is the last day of Zappadan.)

We are honored that Derby the Sassy Cat has given us the Lemonade Award for our Cat-itude! Here are the rules that go with this award:

The Lemonade Award is given to sites which the giver show either great attitude and or gratitude.
The rules for these awards are:
1. Put the logo on your blog.
2. Add a link to the person who awarded you.
3. Nominate 10 other blogs.
4. Add links to those blogs on yours.
5. Leave a message for your nominees on their blogs

Since we do have "attitude" and since the pet human is in bed sneezing and on an old ibook which does not get along with we are going to change this rules.
We are awarding the Lemonade Award to every single member of the Pooses for Peace, every cat who has ever taken part in a Bite &Run, a Poot & Run, a Poop &Run, and a Whap & Run. We thank you for your excellent attitude and express gratitude for your bravery when duty calls. That is so many cats we just cannot list them all ....or have the pet human do html all day in between sneezes.

We wish you a Happy Solstice. We are snowed in with the pet humans today.
The Pooses for Peace


Bill O'Reilly Victim of a Pastafarian Attack


During Bill O'Reilly 's latest commentary on the War on Christmas a horde of cats dressed like pirates sprung from behind his desk and attacked him screaming Hail to the Flying Spaghetti Monster! Fox News immediately cut to a commercial.

Mr. O' Reilly is in stable condition at an undisclosed location. Unconfirmed sources report he suffered major bites and scratches on his head, nose, mouth, knees and ankles. He was given large doses of antihistamines since he is severely allergic to cats, (and a cat hater). His blackberry and watch were lost in the scuffle.

This past week Bill O'Reilly had blamed the members of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and those who celebrated Festivus, as the cause of the recession and the reason people are no longer saying Merry Christmas. In one segment of his War on Christmas he kept referring to the members of the church as those "spaghetti people".

Authorities believe it was the infamous "Pooses for Peace Bite & Run Brigade" responsible for the attack. Several members of the Pooses for Peace are devotees of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM), which are known as pastafarians.
According to the Pastafarian belief system, pirates are "absolute divine beings" and the original Pastafarians. Thus wearing full pirate regalia is mandatory during a Pastafarian event...or in this instance, an attack.

This morning Zevo Calamari was ambushed by the local FOX NEWS reporter who screamed.. "ZEVO CALAMARI.. you just bit Bill O'Reilly. What are you going to do now?" Miss Calamarii replied " I'm going to Disneyland! Shiver me timbers! ack bleeeeyuckkkoooo give me a hit of rum, yo ho yo ho it's a pirates life for me! Hail to the FLying Spaghetti Monster and May you be touched by his Noodly Appendage. RAmen"


How to recycle your shoes.......

Oh Lucy Fur and Boo.....Quick! .... Lookie....i found a use for that box of 2007 Jimmy Choo shoes we never wear anymore.........


Laura Bush Latest Victim of Bite & Run Ambush

Laura Bush Tells Obamas...No Room at The Inn.

The Bush administration has denied President-elect Barack Obama's request to move early into an official guest house across from the White House, claiming previously scheduled commitments

The Obamas wanted to move into Blair House before Jan. 5, so that daughters Malia and Sasha could start classes on time at their new school in Washington, trying to keep with the Bush administrations "No Child Left Behind" act.

"But there were previously scheduled events and guests that couldn't be displaced, such as Karl Rove's surprise birthday party, a Haliburton Gala and the Bush twins' holiday drinking festival." said an underpaid spokesperson, who agreed to be quoted only on condition of anonymity for fear that Laura Bush would retaliate.

Sally McDonough, a spokeswoman for first lady Laura Bush, said in a statement that Blair House will be "available to President-elect Obama and his family starting January 15, as is historically the case." Prior to that, McDonough said, "There is no room at the Inn. If Mr Obama should need to use it for a meeting that benefits the Bush family or its agenda, then he can use it. Perhaps there is a stable with some cows and sheep and a drummer boy, somewhere in DC they can stay." Thinking the microphone was off she added "Laura thinks those (deleted F-word) Hussein kids are a bunch of elitist liberals and terrorists should stay in Chicago as long as possible where they belong. How dare they come to our pristine white house."

During one of her walks with Barney and the other dog (the one nobody seems to know the name of) this afternoon, Mrs Bush was ambushed by a horde of cats wearing tiaras, black leather jackets and one wearing a Jedi robe swinging a light saber.

Secret Service arrived too late to prevent the bites and scratches on her knees and ankles. Mrs Bush was immediately given an antihistamine and rushed to an undisclosed hospital. She is in stable condition. Her earrings, watch and blackberry are missing at this time. Her polyester designer suit from Walmart was completely shredded.

Barney and the other dog seemed to be amused by the cats, as if they recognized them and did nothing to defend their owner. An unconfirmed source claims the dogs were clapping.

As of yet no suspects are in custody. Authorities are reluctant to blame the infamous celebrity cat Bite & Run group commanded by the Pooses for Peace, however it does fit their M.O. The cats were in Washington this weekend with BFF Oprah to help plan their inauguration gala.

When asked about the attack on Laura Bush today, Miss Lucy Fur of the Pooses for Peace said, "Ack ...cough.. gag... give me a hit of whatever is in that flask. I have a cheap perfume and polyester taste in my mouth....... gulp.... um... Laura Who? ..... Did Barney ask about me? Were the Queen's corgies there?,,,,,, Do you think this blackberry matches my tiara? "

The Pooses for Peace offered the Obama family a place to stay at their top secret Hotel Calamari for as long as they need it. No word yet from the Obama camp if they will accept the offer.


Bite & Run Sting Operation

CHICAGO -- Federal agents arrested Illinois Gov. Blagojevich and a senior aide Tuesday for what prosecutors described as a political-corruption crime spree, including allegations they tried to sell the Senate seat of President-elect Barack Obama and blame it on the celebrity cats known as The Pooses for Peace.

Miss Lucy Fur, one of the leaders of the organization is best friends with Oprah and the cats visit Chicago on a regular basis to stay with her.

Unveiling the federal criminal complaint at a news conference, U.S. Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald said Mr. Blagojevich had "taken the state to a new low. Fortunately we enlisted the Pooses for Peace and their covert Bite & Run patrol to assist in this arrest."

Special Op forces of the Bite & Run along with the FBI were able to arrest Blagojevich in a surprise attack. Blogojevich is said to have several bite and scratch marks on his knees and ankles. FBI agents were able to ambush the governor unexpectedly while he was sneezing from all the cat hair. The Governor lost his watch and blackberry in the ambush. His wife reports losing a pair of earrings and a matching bracelet.

The arrests came five years after federal authorities began investigating Mr. Blagojevich's alleged fund-raising and influence-peddling schemes. For the past two months, investigators have been listening on wiretaps to profanity-laced conversations about the governor's alleged plans to profit from his authority. "I want to make money," he said in one conversation, according to a 76-page federal affidavit. "I want to make as much money as those damn (*#!@ing deleted expletive) celebrity cats do! Somebody get some (deleted expletive) dirt on them. Then we will blackmail them and blame them for trying to sell this (once again deleted f word) Senate seat. Those cats are always selling stuff on Ebay"

Pooses for Peace spokes-poose Zevo Calamari issued a statement : First let me say we never sold anything like Bono's sunglasses on Ebay. We were proud to be a part of this sting operation. Patrick Fitzgerald is kind of cute in a penal code kind of but he is not my type. And what kind of name is Blagojevich? And um like...what is with the Elvis hair?
Happy Zappadan .... Pass the champagne please.


In Memory

9 October 1940 – 8 December 1980

We miss you John Lennon!
give peace a chance

today we will be purring for peace
the pooses for peace


More Jewelry Disappears.....

Robbers in drag get euro80M in Paris jewelry theft

PARIS (AP) — Police say robbers — some dressed in drag — some in what appeared to be a horde of cats wearing tiaras, made off with euro80 million ($100 million) in loot from a lightning-fast jewelry store robbery in central Paris.

A police official says the three or four thieves swiped rings, necklaces and luxury watches from display cases at the Harry Winston store near the Champs-Elysees.

The official said Friday at least one of the bandits was a dog in drag and at times spoke what seemed to be a foreign language with lots of barking and yelping. Unconfirmed sources claim the dog was US presidential contender, Mike Huckabee's ex bird-dog Dude who ran off earlier this past summer to join the Pooses for Peace. A security guard on duty reported hearing Frank Zappa music coming from an iPod that one of the cats was sporting.

A spokeswoman for the U.S.-based chain could not be reached for comment about Thursdays holdup.

Police said it was among France's biggest-ever jewelry thefts. Authorities have no suspects at this time.

Pooses for Peace member Miss Boo who happened to be in Paris with BFF Miss Lucy Fur and Zevo Calamari issued a statement today. " Hmmmm....what jewelry? Can i have a swig of that champagne? Do you think this watch makes me look fat?" Miss Lucy Fur had no comment but looked absolutely divine in her Versace couture.

Zevo Calamari added "Oh.... like um ,,,, happy Zappadan. Don't forget to floss! .... totally... um like...pass me the champagne please..."


Merry Zappadan

Tis the season of
Zappadan December 4th through December 21

We pooses are all way to young to remember Frank Zappa. However, Zappadan is a very important holiday according to our pet human.

Frank Zappa was born in the very same hospital as our pet human ...and passed away on her birthday in 1993. (She took it personal...and needless to say she was very excited to hear that others dedicated a season to him that starts on her birthday) The festival of Zappadan runs from the date of Frank's death, 12/4, through the date of his birth, 12/21.

We learned of this holiday from the blog "The third annual Festival of Zappadan is right around the corner, my friends, and here at The Aristocrats we eagerly await your artistic offerings."

So we invite everyone to celebrate Zappadan at the Casino Calamari for the entire season.

Bring your own dental floss, and we will provide entertainment, munchies and of course tequila.

Oh... and a happy birthday to our pet human. (We think she would like this quote too!)

“I never set out to be weird. It was always other people who called me weird.”
Frank Zappa


Happy Birthday Nubi wan Kenobi!

Today is my birthday. I am six.

Usually the Pooses for Peace give me a blow-out party at some extravagant location with lots of celebrities and tequila. We are laying low until this Winona Ryder missing jewelry thing is forgotten.

So this year i would like to stay home with my pet humans and have a nice quiet evening with perhaps some cat nip and lots of birdie toys. (I do hope they remember to buy me the ones with feathers.) The pet humans are finally back from their trip to Oz. (Well.. at least that is what i heard the female said. Not sure about the flying monkeys reference.)

Zevo promised me a new light saber if i promised not to rat on her about the stolen ring from Spain since she loves me so much.


What Ring?

MADRID - Police in Spain are investigating $125,000 in missing designer jewelry last seen on Winona Ryder at an event on Sunday.

Winona was loaned a Bulgari bracelet and ring, which she wore to a Marie Claire event in Spain last weekend, but the jewelry has gone missing.

A source told Access Hollywood that Winona left the jewels in her hotel room the morning following the event. But, when someone was dispatched to collect the bracelet and ring, they couldn’t be found.

The jewelry disappearance is the latest incident to make headlines from the actress’s European trip. Last week Miss Ryder reported being bit by a horde of cats wearing tiaras and one wearing a Jedi Robe. Unconfirmed sources claim these were the infamous Pooses for Peace who have had an on going feud with Miss Ryder for several years.

Authorities are ruling out the possibility that the cats are suspects of this particular robbery . They have a witness willing to testify that they stayed in Salem this past Thanksgiving Day weekend and had a house-trashing party and a seance. The pet sitter even left a note which may be used as evidence at a later date.