Planet Calamari Zazzle shop

2010-11-29

Stolen Picasso Paintings ..or were they gifts?




Pierre Le Guerrec, who supposedly kept 271 previously unknown works by Pablo Picasso in his basement-garage for decades, is now under scrutiny from the artist's heirs. These unknown works by Pablo Picasso, perhaps the premier painter of the 20th century, have come to light after being stored 40 years in the Riviera garage of an electrician who worked at the artist’s villas in the early 1970s.



Le Guerrec has claimed he is innocent and never knew the paintings existed in his basement. He said that he has not been down the basement for years, but last week he heard music coming from the cellar and climbed down to investigate. "Der in de basement were many chats dancing and wearing de bery pretty tiaras. Socre blu! Pastis bottles everywhere too. I zink dat maybe I drank too much wine but NO den I see dat zee chats have many paintings hidden der. I am innoCent. Wei! oh la la"


The canvases date from 1900 to 1932, the artist’s earliest and most fertile period. They include portraits of Picasso’s first cat, Gato, a watercolor from Picasso’s famed “blue cat” period, nine inherently important Cubist collages worth tens of millions, as well as lithographs, drawings, and various studies.

The curator of the National Picasso Museum in Paris, Anne Baldassari, today described the find as “unprecedented.” Neighbors of Le Guerrec claim to have seen a horde of cats wearing berets and tiaras in and out of the home on several occasions in the past. They did not find it unusual. "Zee French cats de dress with style..no? Wei!"


Authorities are now investigating if the infamous cat burglars known as the Pooses for Peace were involved. Miss Boo, who has been awol for a few months now is the lead suspect.

Zevo hussein Calamari issued a statement from what appeared to be a cave
"What paintings? Do you have any more of that pastis? Does this beret make me look fat? Oh la la! If you want to invest in some unique art please visit the Planet Calamari Etsy Shop Get 10% off if you use the code TH8NKYOU. Offer ends on December 4th.... another round of wine and cheese please!"

Cyber Monday & Birthday Week
10% Off Sale at Planet Calamari


It's my pet human's birthday week...
To celebrate we are having a 10% off sale
at the
Planet Calamari Etsy Shop


One of a kind art to wear for that boho cruchy chic look made with love and magic in our Salem MA studio.

Free shipping on most items too.
Sale ends on December 4th

Enter the code TH8NKYOU when checking out to receive your discount.
thank you!
zevo hussein calamari

2010-11-26

Black Friday Shopping Spree



As CEO of Planet Calamari i invite you and your friends (and if you know any celebrities) to visit the Planet Calamari Art Galleria and shop. Offering handcrafted one of a kind art to wear for those who dare to dance to the beat of a bohemian drummer. Recycled Prayer earrings made from vintage rosary beads and sacred baubles. Magical bracelets embellished with antique buttons from Strega Nonna's button tin. Happy Qi fiber art wrist cuffs. Organic t-shirts and more.

Warning! These pieces are not for those who choose to wear clothing or think like Just Say No Nancy Reagan or Wolf Murderer Sarah Palin.
Our unique baubles and arm candy and tees are worn by free thinkers who sometimes dress like Cyndi Lauper, Stevie Nicks, Bette Midler, and Sheryl Crowe.



We would be honored if Iris Apfel would wear some of our wide Happy Qi Cuffs too.


You can shop in your pajamas, your undies, your ratty sweats, wine stained party dress or even naked. We don't care because we can't see you. Nobody will see you. .. except your cat... or d-o-g.

So please don't go to the mall or worse evil and oh so tacky Wal-Mart. Everyone else will be there... buying the same stuff that everyone else is buying. Crowds of cranky people who ate way too much yesterday. No parking. Gum smacking snarky clerks too busy texting their friends to help you. No annoying Brenda Lee singing Rocking Around the Christmas Tree in the background. You can choose your own music to rock out too. Have a glass of wine or an expresso while you shop.

We invite you to shop on a different planet. And with your help i can buy a new tiara.


thank you
xoxoxoxo
zevo hussein calamari
CEO of Planet Calamari

2010-11-25

The First Thanksgiving

On the first Thanksgiving, the stow-away cats aboard the Mayflower held a feast with the Indian cats who befriended them when they entered this new land. Together they smoked the peace pipe, drank rum and danced to the beat of the native drums.

Unlike their human counterparts, the English pooses remained friends with their new Indian friends and respected their customs and their land.

Today pooses in America celebrate this day with a feast, rum and an occasional toke on the catnip peace-pipe while watching the Macy's Day parade in hopes of seeing the Cat in the Hat balloon.

We wish you and your family a very Happy Thanksgiving!

We apologize for not being able to visit all the wonderful cat blogs and leave comments.
If you are on facebook please let us know so we can comment there!


Zevo hussein Calamari invites you to show until you drop at the Planet Calamari Art Galleria so that she can purchase a new pair of Jimmy Choo Shoes and matching Versace gown.

2010-11-22

BREAKING NEWS.... JUSTIN BIEBER BIT.......

CNN
LA CA

THIS JUST IN.....

Justin Bieber is the latest victim of a Bite & Run attack at the 2010 American Music Awards. Unconfirmed sources are also reporting that Miley Cyrus was also bit and is now missing her earrings. Screams were heard through out LA last night. Reports of celebrities and stick insects wearing fur were also victims of the attacks. All are in stable condition at an undisclosed hospitial. Many are claiming missing iphones, ipods, jewelry and credit cards.

A biohazard team has been brought into the area to help disperse the horrid stench that seemed to have appeared during the attacks.

No suspects are in custody at this time. However those standing by claim to have seen a horde of cats and a few dogs wearing berets running through the crowd right before the commotion began. Authorities believe this attack was perpetrated by the feline domestic terrorist group known as the Pooses for Peace. The celebrity cats are known for their covert Bite and Run tactics mainly targeting annoying celebrities and politicians. This has been the first Bite & Run attack since the disappearance of Miss Boo, one of the co-founders of the group. Many believe that this attack was a training operation for the newest members of the Pooses for Peace.

Zevo hussein Calamari issued a statement from what seemed to be filmed in a cave "Justin Who? What is a Miley Cyrus? Is it a drink? Does this beret make me look fat? Pass me that flask of tequila, i have a horrible taste in my mouth."

This Breaking News has been brought to you by www.planetcalamari.com

2010-11-14

Bon Jour Mademoiselle Toi

Pooses for Peace Breaking News

Hillcrest San Diego, CA

We would like to introduce the newest member of the Pooses for Peace, Mademoiselle Toi, (pronounced twah). This French beauty is now living with Miss Boo's pet human who is still pining for the day when Boo returns home. (We have been assured that Boo's tiaras and clothing will not be given to Toi nor will it even be borrowed.)

Boo's pet human was overheard saying "Toi is French. No need for tiaras. She wears a pencil skirt and a beret and smokes Gauloise. I'd like her to quit, but she's French..... I do hope Boo forgives me when she returns home and must share space now another cat."

Toi has already had an influence on Miss Lucy Fur and Luna Miso Poosie who have been seen wearing a berets and smoking Gauloises at Mo's over the weekend. Vogue magazine is rumored to have the celebrity cats known as the Pooses for Peace wearing berets on the January cover.

A Soiree will be held this coming weekend at the Casino Calamari.
Please bring your own berets.
(Smoking is prohibited at the Casino.)
French cheese, mice and wine will be served.

2010-11-07

Zevo Calamari Promoted to CEO
of Planet Calamari Art Galleria

Associated Press
Wee Salem MA

Unconfirmed rumors are circulating that Zevo hussein Calamari, celebrity jewel thief, and famed entrepreneur has taken over the position of CEO at thePlanet Calamari Art Galleria. Sources are not sure if it was a hostile take over or if her pet human, known as Beta-chic, the owner and artist of the business just handed it over peacefully to Zevo.

Miss Calamari owns several successful businesses with her cohorts, The Pooses for Peace. Among them are The Casino Calamari, Cinema Calamari, The Holy Spaghetti Factory, A Costume shop and a few other questionable operations.

Zevo Calamari issued a statement this morning "As the new CEO of Planet Calamari Art Galleria, i intend to make this business a success. The more money my pet human makes, the more shoes i can buy. By my running this business she will have more time to create one of a kind jewelry and art. Does this bracelet make me look fat? Oh Keith dear, could you pass me that flask please."

Beta-chic was over heard saying "Do we have anymore band aids in the house?"

2010-11-05

Keith Olbermann Spotted
At Salem's Casino Calamari

Associated Press
Salem MA
BREAKING NEWS

Unconfirmed sources report that Keith Olbermann is hiding out at the Casino Calamari in Wee Salem drowning his sorrows camped out near the famed margarita fountain. Rumors are flying that his stick insect girlfriend dumped him now that he does not have a job and that he has sought the comfort of his old flame Zevo Calamari, of the Pooses for Peace.

No comment or statement has been made by Miss Calamari or the Pooses for Peace as of yet. Paparazzi are flooding the city of Salem and the new territory of Wee Salem (which declared its independence from the city of Salem early this year) in hopes of catching a picture of Keith O and the famed celebrity domestic feline terrorist.

Nubi wan Kenobi, Jedi cat and bouncer for the Casino Calamari was heard saying "Could somebody call Mexico for more tequila STAT. Does this Jedi robe make me look fat?"

2010-11-01

Dia de Los Muertos

Salem MA

The Ghost of Frida Kahlo made her traditional appearance today in Salem. As expected, the late artist appeared at the Casino Calamari on first day of Dia de Los Muertos.

Nubi wan Kenobi the Jedi poose helps to channel the messages from Frida to the Pooses for Peace. "Bring more tequila please... and a few more bottles of paint. Throw in some new brushes por favor!"

All are invited to the Dia De Los Muertos Fiesta
at the Casino Calamari tonight and tomorrow night.
Bring your own sombreros an unibrows.
A margarita fountain will be flowing the entire evening with
an all you can eat Tuna Taco and Ham enchilada buffet!