Planet Calamari Zazzle shop

2007-11-30

Breaking News

FOX NEWS
This just in ........

Rudy Giuliani is the latest victim of a Bite & Run attack this morning. Rudy was bit while dodging questions about mob affiliations, travel expenses and illegal immigration. Unconfirmed sources claim to have seen a herd of cats dressed in black, a few wearing tiaras and one sporting a jedi robe running from the scene. Mr. Giuliani is in stable condition at an undisclosed hospital.

We at Fox News... a Fair and Balanced news source, are certain it was the work of those liberal cats known as Pooses for Peace. Most probably they are illegal aliens and have ties with terrorist groups.... as all liberal anti-Americans do.

Coming up next........ Unusual activity at Area 51 in Nevada.

2007-11-25

Home Sweet Home

We had so much fun playing hide and go seek with Homeland Security last week, but that can get so boring. Those guys really need to get a sense of humor.

Though Salem is a funky little town, it is good to be back home. We missed our pet humans, even if they are a little strange. At least they gave us turkey for Thanksgiving..... they had nachos and margaritas instead of the traditional Thanksgiving day feast.

Boo and Lucy Fur are back in San Diego. Bubba spent Thanksgiving in Florida, and Tao and Sarge were forced to babysit this past weekend in Baltimore.

We all need some rest before Nubi's birthday party this weekend........ it is a surprise. shhhhhhhh
I will have the invites ready later this week. Get ready for an OUT of this world party!

Time for a nap
xooxoox
zevo

2007-11-23

Tonight at The Casino Calamari we have few very special guests. .....The Singing Nuns.

The Sisters of Perpetual Holy Cheese in Switzerland arranged for us to travel incognito back to the USA with the Singing Nuns. I must say we all looked very dignified in those habits and veils. Walking by Homeland Security humming Dominique was a breeze! I think these nun costumes may come in handy again.

Mother Superior of the Perpetual Holy Cheese Convent had a long talk with Miss Lucy Fur and advised her not to take vows, as she would have to give up wearing her tiara ..among other things. She also urged her to begin taking her medication as soon as possible.

We would like to thank the Sisters for all their help and the great cheese and wine.

The Pooses for Peace

2007-11-22

The First Thanksgiving

On the first Thanksgiving, stow-away pooses aboard the Mayflower held a feast with the Indian pooses who befriended them when they entered this new land. Together they smoked the peace pipe, drank rum and danced to the beat of the native drums. Unlike their human counterparts, the English pooses remained friends with their new Indian friends and respected their customs and their land.

Today pooses in America celebrate this day with a feast, rum and an occasional toke on the peace-pipe while watching the Macy's Day parade in hopes of seeing the Cat in the Hat balloon.

We wish you and your family a very Happy Thanksgiving!


This season pooses encourage their pet owners to stay home and shop in their pjs at The Planet Calamari Shop

2007-11-21


Entertainment Tonight

Rumors are flying! Is it true that celebrity cat Miss Lucy Fur is once again off her medication and is about to join a convent?

Our sources tell us that Miss Lucy Fur just found out that her pet human is thinking about getting.... a puppy. Not just any puppy, but a German Shepherd. And to make matters worse the pet human has a grandchild who will be staying for Thanksgiving.

Other sources claim that Miss Lucy Fur is grief stricken that her boyfriend the Royal Corgie dumped her last week for a poodle.

CIA agents believe that the celebrity cats known as The Pooses for Peace have been in hiding from Homeland Security at a convent run by The Sisters of Perpetual Holy Cheese, in Switzerland. The convent was searched yesterday by agents and they could not find any trace of the cats. However one agent claims to have seen a short nun wearing a tiara under her habit.

The Sisters of Perpetual Holy Cheese refused to comment on whether the cats are under their protection or if Miss Lucy Fur will soon become Sister Mary Lucy Fur.

Stay tuned for more on this story.

Next after the break.....Britney Spears loses her keys.

2007-11-20

A flibbertijibbet! A will-o'-the wisp! A clown!


Associated Press
Austria

CIA agents attempted to investigate reports of the renegade cats known as The Pooses for Peace wanted by Homeland Security. Authorities believe the cats are hiding at a convent run by The Sisters of Perpetual Holy Cheese.

Unconfirmed sources claim to have heard the nuns singing "How do you solve a problem like Zevo" after the CIA agents left the convent. No cats were found.

Mysteriously the agents' vechicles were unable to start. Someone had stolen the batteries and unplugged the cables. One CIA agent has reported that his sunglasses are now missing.

The whereabouts of these cats remains unknown.

2007-11-19

soft and white... clean and bright.......

Associated Press
Salzburg, Austria

Last night's final performance at the Salzburg Music Festival ended with a standing ovation, a chase scene and the song Edelweiss floating through the mountain air.

Authorities are baffled by the appearance of a group of singing cats, who called themselves The Von Trapp Poose Singers. They were dressed in costumes made from what appeared to be fabric from hotel drapes. Three were also wearing tiaras.

The cats sang Edelweiss as their last song. The audience sang along with tears in their eyes. After the third standing ovation the cats were no where to be found. Unconfirmed sources believe these cats are the infamous Pooses for Peace Bite and Run Brigade and are wanted by US Homeland Security.

The cats were seen fleeing over the mountains to a nearby convent on the border of Switzerland.



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2007-11-16

Climb every mountain.......

Some of you may have heard that The Pooses for Peace have been implicated in the "reporter ham whapping plot " which you can read more about at Cheysuli's blog

We thought this would be a good time to take a vacation to a neutral country and lay low. Besides, this way we can catch up with our bankers and redo this blog. Our blog slave will be adding the kitty blog roll very soon. Please be patient, she has an antique mac.

Have a great weekend!
The Pooses for Peace

p.s. The hills are alive.... with the sound of pooses..........

Senator Lucy Fur Scolds Hillary and Obama




I am Senator Lucy Fur and i am asking.....No.... i am telling you both to knock it off. You will stop the name calling, the blame game, and the mud slinging. And you will both answer the questions directly without dancing around the real answer.

If this childish behavior continues during your campaign i will be forced to send in the Bite and Run Brigade.....and need i remind you what happened to Rummy, Karl Rove and Alberto Gonzales when they met the brigade? You should both know you don't stand a chance to win against the Pooses for Peace favorite candidate Cheysuli

Now in the words of Loretta Castorini, "SNAP OUT OF IT!"

This message by Senator Lucy Fur has been brought to you by The Art for Peace Shop to see peaceful art on clothing and other holiday gifts.


Visit The Planet Calamari Shop

2007-11-15

Poose Alert...Save the Whales!


Pooses for Peace support the Pro-Life for all Whales and sea friends movement.
Please help our large friends by having your pet humans sign this petition.



"Endangered right whales should not have to die for military practice. Please help protect them."

James Taylor


The U.S. Navy wants to put a training range for lethal mid-frequency sonar next to a key migratory route for endangered right whales -- off the coast of Cape Hatteras, North Carolina.

Click www.nrdonline.org here and tell the Navy not to put its proposed sonar range next to the right whale's migratory route.

2007-11-14


Tonight On David Letterman...... Jedi Poose Nubi wan Kenobi! Musical guest Moby.

Tonights Top Ten list by Nubi Wan Kenobi

TOP TEN WAYS TO ANNOY YOUR PET HUMAN

10. SPIT OUT YOUR FOOD INTO THE DRINKING FOUNTAIN

9. RUN AROUND THE HOUSE RINGING ALL THE WIND CHIMES

8. BITE YOUR HUMAN'S CALVES WHILE SHE IS DOING DOWNWARD FACING DOG

7. THROW UP ON THE BED AT 3:00 AM

6. CRAWL INTO THE REFRIGERATOR EVERY TIME IT IS OPENED

5. ANNOY ALL THE OTHER CATS IN THE HOUSE

4. BITE THE LANDLORD

3. DEMAND TO HAVE BIRDIE TOYS THROWN WHILE THEY ARE ON IMPORTANT
PHONE CALLS

2. HIDE THE CAR KEYS

AND THE NUMBER ONE WAY TO ANNOY YOUR PET HUMAN IS:
POOP IN THE CAT BOX RIGHT AFTER THEY CLEAN IT

Coming up next ..... Musical guest Moby ....Stay tuned!

Visit Art for Peace to see peaceful art on clothing and other holiday gifts.


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2007-11-12

Thank you Kitty Limericks!

Wow! Were we all surprised and honored to to be featured on the KittyLimericks.blogspot.com the past few days. Our pet human has been under the weather and not helping us read other blogs all week. We are hoping she makes more time for blogging soon.

Thank you so much Ms. Karen Jo....
What a nice treat! You are now an honorary member of the Pooses for Peace and will have the protection of The Bite Patrol.

Here are the wonderful limericks by Miss Karen Jo


Nubi Wan Kenobi
Nubee Wan Kenobi is a Jedi kitty.
When he waves his light-saber, it's really pretty.
Get out of the way
When he enters the fray,
'Cause he leads the Bite and Run Committee.

Miss Boo
It is so much fun to party with Boo,
But wear cheap earrings whenever you do.
They may disappear,
Right off of your ear,
If you wear diamond earrings to party with Boo.

Zevo Calamari
Zevo Calamari has a lot of class.
She bit Karl Rove right on the -- ask
Karl Rove just where
The teeth laid him bare.
Then three kitties in black ran off through the grass.

Visit Art for Peace to see peaceful art on clothing and other holiday gifts.

2007-11-11

Something to talk about


Associated Press
Pembroke Pines, Florida

Police with military helicopters were called into a small trailer park on Saturday night after several complaints of loud music and drunk cats dancing on mobile-home rooftops. Unconfirmed sources claim that singer Bonnie Raitt and her band showed up at the party unannounced. Raitt will also be performing this week in the area and is said to be BFF with the celebrity cats known as the Pooses for Peace. Miss Raitt performed her famous hit song written by friend John Prine, "Poose Angel From Montgomery" The chorus sung by cats could be heard in the next county.

"Make me an poose angel that flies from montgomery
Make me a poster of an old rodeo
Just give me one thing that I can hold on to
To believe in this living is just a hard way to go"


Florida authorities are also looking for any connection to the mysterious Bite & Run attack during the confirmation of Attorney General Mukasey last week. The Pooses for Peace have not been formally charged or or listed as suspects as there was no evidence left at the scene. All security cameras at the time of the Bite & Run were shut off and all that was left were gloved paw prints.

The only comment Miss Raitt gave to reporters about her association with the rebel cats was "Well there is something to talk about..."

This morning Miss Raitt was seen wearing pajamas, drinking a Bloody Mary sitting on a wicker chair that had been chewed by Bubba the cat. Hung over cats were seen sleeping all over the park.

Poose-cam in Florida brought to you by Visit The Planet Calamari Shop

2007-11-09

CNN NEWS FLASH LIVE

I am Wolf Blitzer and welcome to the Situation Room.

Last night the senate confirmed Michael Mukasey as the new Attorney General.
Mukasey's confirmation came after an emotional debate over his refusal during Senate hearings to call the interrogation technique that simulates drowning 'torture'. Key Democrats, including Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid of Nevada, argued that was enough reason to oppose the nomination.

Immediately after the confirmation of Mr. Mukasey all 53 of the Senators who voted for Mukasey, as well as the new attorney general were simultaneously bit by cats wearing tiaras, jedi robes, flip flops and beach attire. Screams and obscenities were heard several miles away.

All victims of this Bite And Run remain in stable condition at Walter Reed Hospital.

A note was found by police that said "Certainly if water-boarding is not torture, then neither is biting. Shame on all of you."

All cats escaped the scene of the crime immediately and no suspects have been named. Unconfirmed sources claim the cats were on their way to a party in Florida.

Stay tune for more on CNN.
Coming up next... Britney Spears spills her coffee.

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2007-11-08

Party at Bubba's

Hey everyone, Bubba here.....

Since Zevo and Nubi's pet humans still have cooties i have invited them down for the weekend. They could use some Florida sunshine and they need to get away from those infected humans. Carrying trays of chinese herbs and miso soup can really wear a poose out.

Boo and Lucy Fur are tired of breathing burnt ash from the SoCal fires so i invited them too. And since i invited them, i had to invite Tao and Sarge who need to get away from that crying baby with the big feet.

Officially this is a party. Of course since those celebrity pooses will be here we will have to have good beer and margaritas. I will have to think of a way to make sure my pet human goes out this weekend.

Everyone is invited.
B.Y.O.N. bring your own nip

Party on dude,
Bubba

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2007-11-06

And Now A Word From Our Sponsor

Get a jump start on your holiday shopping.
Enjoy $20 off any purchase of $75 or more at
The Planet Calamari CafePress Shop!

Use the offer code HOLIDAYVIP
Valid through November 8, 2007 at 11:59 p.m. (PST).

Visit The Planet Calamari Shop
while you are at the Planet Calamari Shop
visit Zevo Calamari's Kitty Cat Boutique




2007-11-05


Whew.... i am exhausted. Nursing those humans back to health is so much work. Bringing trays of ginger tea, echinacea drops, Wellness formula, stinky Chinese herbs, tissues and miso soup has worn me out.

Nubi was not much help. He decided to nap with the humans instead of pulling his weight, (which is gaining by the day...hint... hint)

I have decided to take the rest of the day off. Please turn the lights out .....and oh could someone cover me.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zevo

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2007-11-04

Casino Calamari will be closed this weekend
due to the nor-easter storm
and the cold cooties our pet humans have been infected with.

2007-11-01

El Dia de los Muertos

AP
Salem, MA

The Ghostbusters have been called into Salem today as complaints flooded the local police department after a seance last night at the Casino Calamari. Unconfirmed sources report that the ghost of Frida Kahlo, Doctor Dolittle and a few cats who claimed to have belonged to Nathaniel Hawthorne have been spotted spooking tourists.

The Casino Calamari, owned by celebrity cats Zevo Calamari, Miss Boo and Lucy Fur, all native San Diegans claim that it is part of the Mexican Day of the Dead celebration and that the spirits mean no harm.

A Dia de los Muertos fiesta will be held tonight and tomorrow to honor all those loved ones who passed on .

For more information on The Day of the Dead traditions please visit spanish.about.com