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Secret Session of the Poose Congress

Asscociated Press
Undisclosed location

An emergency session of the Poose Congress is meeting today in a secret location. Topics to be debated will be:
  • Raising the minimum wage for substitute pooses
  • Legalizing Cuban catnip
  • Endorsing candidate Chey for President
  • Planning of the St Patty's Party at Hamburger Mary's. (Should Ted Kennedy be invited?)
  • Choosing who in Washington will be the next target of an ankle biting.....Dick Cheney? Condalezza Rice? The Chimp? The Bush Twins?

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Poose Flu

blaaaaa ackkkkkkkk

I am back in Salem today recovering from the wild weekend. I think all that partying has given me a touch of poose flu.

There is so much to do. Pooses for Peace has decided to back Chey for President We have the concert tour starting with Al Gore. Boo lost her Jimmy Choo shoes (or were they Manolos?) at the party. Lucy Fur is still negotiating with Hillary and Obama to kiss and make up and support Chey instead.

I have to prepare for the big St Patty's party at Hamburger Mary's. It is a wild human holiday in Boston. I am sure Ted Kennedy and his friends will be there. We will be inviting all the new pooses we met at the Oscars.
Tara who can really down those shots! And of Gemini who is quite the dancer. I think we will invite Bono & U2 to perform that night.

Nubi is here with my catnip tea and herbal poose flu remedy. He can be a great nurse sometimes. He took care of my pet human last week when she had cooties. (I was much too busy)

so much to do
i will worry about it tomorrow
la de da
scarlett o'calamari

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Celebrity Pooses at the Oscars


Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth won an Oscar for best documentary last night. President Gore thanked the celebrity trio of Pooses for Peace for their efforts in helping to save the planet. He invited the trio Zevo Calamari, Miss Boo and Lucy Fur to join him on the Concert Series for Climate Change.

Later the Pooses for Peace were seen dancing on table tops at Ellen's Oscar Party. Also seen with the celebrity poose pack was Poose Presidental candidate Cheysuli. Hoping to get the Pooses for Peace endorsement. (Unless of course Al Gore decides to run!)
Chey's sister Gemini was there with her friend Tara. Both are devotees of Feline Empress Kukka-Maria.

Other Oscar news
Unconfirmed sources claim that Beyonce and Jennifer Lopez were seen fleeing the Oscar after party with bleeding ankles. Both claim to have lost their earrings. Beyonce and J-Lo are both fans of wearing fur and had fur coats in their limos.

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The Oscars

Join Ellen and Celebrity Pooses Miss Lucy Fur, Miss Boo and Zevo Calamari at the tonight!

Don't miss the Barbara Walters interview the girls on the Red Carpet. It is going to be an exciting night for all.

Join guest pooses, Tao and Sarge without Joan and Melissa Rivers for the Pre-Oscar Fashion show on the Red Carpet.

Warning: Attendees have been warned not to wear fur. All violators will be bit.
The Bite Patrol tonight will be led by Nubi Wan Kenobi and the Jedi Poose Force.

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Warning to all Oscar Attendees

Celebrity pooses Zevo Calamari, Miss Boo and Lucy Fur have issued a warning to all Oscar attendees :

A special bite patrol will be on duty at the Oscars. Anyone wearing fur will be bit.


Hillary & Obama Cat Fight

Senator Lucy Fur has been called in by the Pooses for Peace to mediate the cat fight between

Unconfirmed sources taped this conference call of Miss Lucy Fur and the Pooses for Peace board members.

"Well, girls. I've been on the phone all day with Obama, Speilberg, Bill and Hilary. I swear, it's worse that the United Nations with this crowd! I finally got Obama and Hil to settle down for a few weeks. Barbara Walters has asked me be sure she can interview all of us on the red carpet before the awards ceremony.

I still can't find my tiara, Boo. You really need to give it back to me! NOW. Gotta go and get my bikini waxing done before my facial."

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So much to do before the Oscars. Zevo left me in charge of rounding up new gowns for all of us. Donatella is not returning my calls. I guess i will have to call the boys at Dolce & Gabbana.

Zevo had to fly back to Salem to run the biz. She will meet us back in LA on Saturday night. Nubi is back in Salem and is trying out for the poose ice skating competition for the olympics.

Lucy Fur has been busy trying to get Hilary and Obama to kiss and make up. I think Lucy Fur should run for President.

Oh gotta run.... Ellen in on the phone....
ciao ciao


Spike Lee and Pooses for Peace

New Orleans
The Controversial organization known as Pooses for Peace awarded the victims of Hurricane Katrina with a million dollar check last night at the Spike Lee party. Director Spike Lee was named Tuesday as a winner of the annual George Polk Awards for his documentary on life in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina.

Unconfirmed sources claim that the pooses robbed the rich to give to the poor. Spokes-poose Zevo Calamari claims the money was donated by anonymous patrons.

The staff of Pooses for Peace will accompany Spike Lee this year at the Oscars.

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happy fat pooseday

Happy Fat Tuesday! We are having so much fun hanging with Harry Connick Jr, Brandon Marsalis and Spike Lee! Tonight we are invited to a grand ball with them.

Time to get in costume and prepare for our debut in the parade!
Pooses de Voodoo

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Mardi Gras

Bonjour de la Nouvelle-Orléans!

We decided to close the brothel, the casino and Hamburger Mary's for a few days and come down to New Orleans for . It has been way too cold and icy in Salem to hang out.

Boo and Lucy Fur met Nubi and i this morning in the French Quarter. Tao and Sarge will be here in time for Fat Tuesday. Bordreaux the Magi is also here. He made us the most stunning costumes. We have our own float, Pooses de Voodoo for tomorrow's big parade.

Time for some gumbo!
au revoir

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Happy Year of the Pig

Gung Hay Fat Choy. It is the Year of the Pig.

We would like to dedicate this day to our favorite Pig....Miss Baby Pig Calamari. A wonderous poose who began Pigs for Peace which later became Pooses for Peace. In honor of this Pig, there will be an all you can eat cheese and turkey poose buffet at the Casino Calamari.

The lion dance will be performed tonight by the Poose Fu Dragon Troupe. Fireworks begin at ten.

Happy Year of the Pig!



Reports are in that left rehab last night and after arriving in Los Angeles, headed for a LA salon, demanded that a stylist cut off all her hair. When the stylist refused, Spears grabbed the clippers and did it herself.

She then wound up at the tattoo parlor, where she spent $80 to have three tattoos applied -- a black-white-and-pink cat on her lower hip and two sets of pink and blue cat paws on her wrist.

Hughes said that when someone asked the singer why her head was shaved, Spears replied: "I was advised by three cats wearing tiaras that the look would be perfect for my comeback album."

Unconfirmed sources saw 3 cats wearing tiaras running from the tatoo palor laughing. Those sources were also admitted to rehab today.

Lion Dance performed by Pooses

The Traditional Lion Dance will be performed before the Pooses on Ice tonight at the Nubi Wan Kenobi Ice Park to celebrate the beginning of Chinese New Year's. Participants of this dance will be from the Poose Dragon School of Poose Fu.

Fireworks will start at midnight.

Visit the Acu-Punk Cafe for unique wearables for acupuncturists and cool stuff for the acupuncture office.


Ice Rink Opens in Salem, MA

Welcome to the Nubi Wan Kenobi Ice Park! It has been so cold here in Salem, i thought i would open an ice rink for pooses. Warm milk and shots of tequila are now being served at the snack bar.

Polar bears and penguins skate for free every Monday night.

Try outs for the ice hockey team will be tomorrow night at 6pm.

The show Pooses on Ice opens this Saturday night.
Tickets are still available. Call 1-800-ice-poos


Not ready to make nice...

Entertainment Tonight!

Unconfirmed sources claim that Reba McEntire and Toby Keith were both seen fleeing the Grammys last night with bleeding ankles and knees right after the Dixie Chicks won the
best country album.

"A particularly ironic triumph given the fury of the country community over their Bush comment, and the fact that they do not even consider themselves country artists any more."

"I'm ready to make nice," Maines said as the group accepted the best record trophy. Apparently a few pooses wearing cowboy boots and hats were not ready to make nice with the country stars who bashed the Chicks at the Country Music Awards in the past. In the confusion Reba claims to have lost her earrings.

Both Reba and Toby are in stable condition in a hospital that plays Dixie Chick Muzak all day and night.

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Chicks, Pooses and The Grammys

The Dixie Chicks have invited celebrity pooses Zevo Calamari and Miss Boo to perform with them tonight at the Grammys. Both cats have been on tour in the past with the Chicks singing back-up vocals. Zevo Calamari is the chair poose for Pooses for Peace and has been supportive of the Dixie Chicks during their "incident" with the pro-war country music fans. (Reba has been warned to wear boots or ankle guards tonight.)

Miss Lucy Fur will be a guest host of the Grammys and will also be singing with The Police. Rumor has it that Miss Lucy Fur is a dear friend of Sting's wife, Trudi.

Other guest performers include Boudreaux the Magi, Nubi Wan Kenobi and John Prine singing "Your Flag Decal Won't Get You Into Heaven"

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Hotel Del Coronado hit by thieves

San Diego, CA

The Hotel del Coronado has reported several pieces of expensive jewelry and artifacts missing from the hotel shop this morning. Authorities are confused on how such a robbery could take place with all the security cameras and guards in the hotel. No suspects are known at this time.
Hotel maids reported seeing a few cats roaming the halls wearing tiaras, ("Eu vi 3 gatos desgastar tiaras nos salões") a spokesperson for the hotel said that the maids do not speak English and therefore the translation must be wrong as they do not have cats with tiaras in the hotel.

Celebrities staying at the hotel have been warned to keep a close watch on their valuables.

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Watching THE SECRET at the Hotel Del.....

OK Girls...I have rented the Crown Room at the Hotel Del for the Oprah watching party tomorrow. I hear royalty staying there and a few Hollywood celebs are coming to town for the weekend.

Zevo, Boo and I should stay over at the Del and see which parties we want to attend. And, the jewelry store at the hotel is looking VERRRRRRRY attractive right now.

Lucy Fur
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Freezing in Salem

It is freezing here. I am going to San Diego and stay with Boo until this cold snap is over. There are penguins and polar bears hanging out in the casino. There is not enough beer for all of them. Nubi invited them. If i didn't need to leave he would be sooo fired.

We are having a party tomorrow at Lucy Fur's house to watch Oprah. Her guests are the people from that great movie . The law of attraction always works for pooses.

ciao for now,
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Today on Oprah

On today's Oprah....

Miss Lucy Fur takes a day off from The View to visit her gal pal Oprah.

Hear what Miss Lucy Fur has to say about her co-workers on The View..especially Barbara Walter's dancing.

She will also talk about the ordeal her celebrity friends Zevo Calamari and Miss Boo endured during their arrest by Homeland Security and share Fidel Castro's Mojito recipe.

Later in the show Miss Lucy will model the latest spring fashions.

Today's musical guest Barry Manilow.

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Ted Kennedy Saves Cats

Live from Boston
Press Conference with Ted Kennedy

Yesterday Ted Kennedy came to the resuce of accused communist pooses Zevo Calamari and Miss Boo, who were arrested by Homeland Security at Logan Airport. Senator Kennedy helped bail them out of jail with the help of Nacy Pelosi and claims this is a communication problem.

"These cats are not communists. No self respecting communist would wear a tiara. These cats were on a peace seeking mission to restore good relations with Cuba. Once again this is an example of the misuse of our civil liberties by this current administration."

Kennedy was later seen smoking a Cuban cigar at the Hamburger Mary's Super Bowl party in Salem, MA.

Unconfirmed sources report that Gisele the super-model attended with Tom Brady but was later seen running out of the party with bleeding ankles.

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Arrested in Boston

Boston, MA

Celebrity Cats Zevo Calamari and Miss Boo were arrested by Homeland Security this morning at Boston's Logan Airport. Both are suspected of revolutionary activities while visiting Fidel Castro and Hugo Chavez in Cuba this week. They were both found carrying illegal Cuban cigars, bottles of rum, a picture of Che Guevara's cat and a light brite toy.

Spokespoose for both claim that they are part of Pooses for Peace and were on a peaceful mission. Unconfirmed sources report that their one phone call was made to Senator Kennedy to have the cats released in time for the SuperBowl party at Hamburger Marys.

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Super Bowl Madness in Salem

Salem, MA

Unconfirmed sources claim that Tom Brady has been invited to the Hamburger Mary's Super Bowl Party by Miss Lucy Fur. All are waiting to see if he will bring Gisele his new model girlfriend.

Other rumored guests are the rest of the New England Patriots, Cameron Diaz, Tom Hanks, Rita Wilson, Meg Ryan, Drew Barrymore, Bruce Willis and of course...Ted Kennedy.
The Patriot Cheerleaders were not invited.

The mayor of Salem has been invited but has not issued a comment either way if she will attend. She did issue a warning to all those attending to wear cheap earrings and leave all valuables elsewhere.

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shakira at casino calamari

Zevo and Boo are in Cuba drinking mojitos with Fidel and Hugo. She left me in charge of booking entertainment for the Casino. I invited Shakira since it is her birthday. We finally convinced Charo to leave. I hope she stays in Vegas for awhile. I am so over hearing "cuchi cuchi".

Lucy Fur is on The View all week and i have to do all this by myself. It is really not fair those girls have all the fun. I invited Tao and Sarge to stay and help out. At least they will bring natty Boh's!

I hope she flies in this weekend for the Super Bowl party at Hamburger Mary's. She is the only one besides Sarge who understands football.

nubi wan kenobi


the mojitos are here... the weather is beautiful

Mojito de Hamburguesa Maria
1 teaspoon powdered sugar
Juice from 1 lime (2 ounces)
4 mint leaves

1 sprig of mint
Havana Club white Rum (2 ounces)
2 ounces club soda

Boo and i are having a lovely time in Cuba. Fidel is an excellent host. We have been dancing non-stop to the Buena Vista Social Club. What a life.

We will be staying until Sunday morning then we must return for the Hamburger Mary's Super Bowl Party. I do wish Lucy Fur would have joined us. These mojitos are wonderful!


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