Planet Calamari Zazzle shop


Thank you for the love...

We would like to thank everyone for their kind words of love and all the calls, emails, facebook and blog comments during this sad time. I am sorry i cannot respond to each comment on your individual blogs at this time as my ibook passed away the same week Zevo left us. I believe she took it to the afterlife with her.

We decided it was for the best to release Zevo's last will and testament concerning the Pooses for Peace, the Bite and Run Brigades, and her various businesses, especially so close to the election. 

We hope to see you at Zevo's memorial service at the Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris and after the party at the Moulin Rouge. Thanks again for all the love.

Zevo's Pet Humans

Zevo Marie hussein Calamari's
 Last Will and Testament

My dear friends,

If you are reading this, then it is certain that i have passed away or faked my death to hide on a remote island. In either case i request the following:

May the Pooses for Peace be overseen by it's original founders, Mizz Boo and Mizz Lucy Fur. I request that Nubi wan Kenobi, Luna miso Poosie, Miss Smudgie, Chez Hussein Monkay, Che Nikki, Quan Yin Kali Wu and Cheysuli be on the board of directors of the Pooses for Peace. You may add more directors as needed.

You will continue to battle corruption, greed, stupidity and expose those who are guilty of such things. The Pooses for Peace will be directly in charge of planning covert Bite & Run attacks whenever necessary. And you will also be in charge of celebrating every holiday in the proper Pooses for Peace manner! (It would be lovely if you continued tormenting the Mayor of Salem, especially during Halloween.) I ask in the name of fashion that Tiaras and Top Hats be worn when possible.

Concerning the Bite & Run Brigades:
Jedi Poose Nubi wan Kenobi and General hussein Monkay will lead all covert activities along with all those special coop agents who we shall not name. You poose spies know who you are! I ask the fashionable Miss Daisy to design new uniforms and berets when needed. 
The Poop and Run and the Poot & Run brigades will be led by the infamous Meezer Boys, Sammy, Miles and Nicholas along with our dear Agent Poopalina.

The Natty Bo Brigade will be lead by Bubba, Sarge, Tao, Stoli, Summer, Max the wonder dog and Miss BeagliEtta. 

The Texas Brigade run by Ethel and Guinness.

The Merry Ole Brigade shall be run by our friends the Royal Corgies and their 007 spies.

The Calamari Business Empire

Brothel Calamari shall be run by Madam Lucy Fur along with Miss Boo. Business as usual girls.

Casino Calamari shall be run by Nubi wan Kenobi and Luna Miso Poosie. I beseech you not to invite Charo back no matter how much she begs. 

Cinema Calamari shall be managed by Miss Smudge and all those pooses who live with Cheysuli, Gemini and Ichiro.

The Zevo Calamari Institute of Professional Biting shall be run by the Bite and Run Brigade members and used as a training camp for young pooses who want to serve.

Planet Calamari Art Galleria 
I have decided to remain the CEO of Planet Calamari Art Galleria and  give my pet human advice from the afterlife (or remote island). She will still remain the in-house artist but will give me full credit for designing the new line of feline jewelry that i designed.

I leave my great fortune to the Pooses for Peace. Although my pet humans need that money,  i worry that the IRS or Homeland Security would snap it up if it were left to them. Forgive me dear pet humans for this blunder. I do leave my pet humans various pieces of art and sculptures which i shall not list and my wine cellar.

My tiara collection will be donated to the Smithsonian Museum. However the emerald tiara really does belong  to Mizz Boo, and the Ruby tiara to Mizz Lucy Fur and so they shall be given back to their rightful owners. You both can split my wardrobe and give a few things to Miss Smudgie and Luna miso Poosie.
I also would like to give Bono back his sunglasses. I never really sold them on ebay. George Clooney, i give you permission to date again.

Thank you all for being such wonderful friends. I love you all so much. You have made my life complete. I promise to send messages from the afterlife. 

With much love always,

zevo marie hussein calamari


Rest In Peace Zevo hussein Calamari

Tears poured out around the world when the news of Zevo hussein Calamari's sudden passing broke this morning. President Obama has ordered the flags to be flown half mast for the rest of the week.

Zevo hussein Calamari, infamous cat burglar, domestic terrorist and one of the
founders of the Pooses for Peace, passed away today at the age of 19.5 years. Born in Escondido California, and was named after Miss Zevo in the movie TOYS, Zevo was a celebrity feline, friend of dignitaries, the Dalai Lama, rock stars and the glitteratti.

She and her cohorts were the force behind the covert Bite & Run brigades known to attack dim witted politicians, stick insect models that wear fur and the Mayor of Salem in her ill fitting black suit. The list of victims attacked during the Bite & Run operations include many of those who served the GW Bush administration, congress, Karl Rove, Dick Cheney, the Bush Twins, FOX NEWS Newscasters, P Diddy, Linsey Lohan, Britney Spears, all of George Clooney's girlfriends, Johnny Depp's ex-wife, and way too many others to list.

Zevo was a successful business poose who owned Brothel Calamari, Casino Calamari, Cimema Calamari along with Planet Calamari Art Galleria.

She is survived by her pet humans, Princess Calamari and the Magician, her bodyguard Jedi knight Nubi wan Kenobi and prima ballerina Luna Miso Poosie and the d-o-g, Quan Yin Kali Wu.

She has requested in her last will and testament that her dear friends Miss Lucy Fur, Nubi wan Kenobi, Luna Miso, take over the Pooses for Peace. The Bite & Run Brigades will be under the direction of her dear friends, M hussein Monkay, Cheysuli, the Meezers gang and Che Nikki.

A private service will be held for the friends and family of Zevo over the weekend. The Dalai Lama will preside over the ceremony. It is her wish that her ashes be spread over the Moulin Rouge in Paris and the Pacific Ocean.

Cinema Calamari will be showing the movie TOYS all week. Casino Calamari will be holding a wake in her honor. Margarita fountains, all you can eat buffet and a star studded celebrity list of musicians will be among the performers.

Thanks to all those pooses who have been friends and rebels with our dear Zevo. She will be missed.



BREAKING NEWS................................

THIS JUST IN .... An exclusive report brought to you by FOX NEWS, the fair and balanced news station that everyone (with an IQ of 50 or below believes.)

Unconfirmed sources have reported that Mitt Romney and his running mate Paul Ryan were victims of a Bite and Run attack an hour ago while on the campaign trail. Hordes of cats, a few dogs, a lone wolf and a few skunks  invaded the Romney Campaign bus and bit all on board while chanting "Show us your tax returns!" A dog wearing a Che Guevara beret bit Romney on the buttocks shouting "That was for Seamus. Next time we will strap you to the roof of our bus!

The bus driver survived with the least amount of injuries. He claims that most of the cats were wearing tiaras, some berets, and one was dressed as a Jedi knight complete with cape and light saber.

Screams and sneezes were heard miles away from the attack. A bio-hazard unit was brought in to remove the stench from the bus. Mrs. Romney reports that not only was her designer blouse that cost a mere $10,000 torn, but her watch, earrings and Gucci handbag are now missing. The most horrifying part of it all was that a cat turd was found in her up-do.
All victims were taken to an undisclosed hospital and are in stable condition. A nurse claims that a cat wearing scrubs and a tiara came into the hospital and switched the pain killer medication with Flintstone vitamins. The nurse and the bus driver are now on medical leave until they pass a psychiatric evaluation.

No comment has been issued by the Romney campaign at this time. Authorities believe this was the work of the infamous liberal domestic terrorist group known as the Pooses for Peace run by feline celebrity Zevo hussein Calamari and her cohorts. This dangerous pack of cats have been laying low for quite some time. Speculation was that the cats retired and were living on a remote island with Captain Jack Sparrow while hiding from the CIA, FBI, IRS and Homeland Security. The rebel cats are known for biting political pundits, mostly Republican politicians, stick insect models that wear fur and for sport, the mayor of Salem MA.

No one has seen Mizz Calamari for quite some time. Some believe she roams the streets of Washington DC in disguise conducting her covert activities and planning for more Bite & Runs closer to the election. Others claim she has retired and passed on the reign of power to her bodyguard and Jedi Knight, Sir Nubi wan Kenobi.

In other news....

Earlier today in Washington DC authorities at the National Gallery of Art reported that several Monet paintings were missing when the museum opened. Security cameras seemed to have been taped up with masking tape and cat hair. The FBI has now taken over the crime investigation and refuses to offer any more details until the paintings are discovered.

The Pooses for Peace have released a tape with Zevo Calamari who appears to on a beach. "Mitt Who? Where is the National Art Gallery? Does this Gucci bag make me look fat? Ack ack someone hand me that bottle of Pastis... the taste of stupidity and greed are making me gag, gag.... ack... Oh Capt Jack could you hang that painting in the bedroom please......"


Happy Towel Day... so long Douglas and thanks for all the fish...

from Wikipedia

"Towel Day is celebrated every May 25 as a tribute by fans of the late author Douglas Adams. The commemoration was first held in 2001, two weeks after his death on May 11, 2001. On this day, fans carry a towel with them during the day to demonstrate their participation and mourning of the author. The towel is a reference to Adams's popular science fiction comedy series The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy."In honor of Douglas Adams we will be wearing our towels all day and reciting passages from his books.

A Vogon Poetry reading will begin in a sound proof room at 8:00 pm.

Tonight Cinema Calamari will be showing the movie The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. All pooses are invited.

We will be serving Pangalactic Gargleblasters and mice crepes. Please bring your own towel.
So long Douglas and thanks for all the fish!
The Pooses for Peace

ps. CEO, Zevo h Calamari of Planet Calamari invites you to shop until you drop at the Planet Calamari Etsy Shop. Out of this world art to wear. The best in the Galaxy....



You Are Invited....

Hola Gatos! 
Estamos teniendo una gran fiesta Cinco de Mayo. Habrá mucho tequila y la comida para todos. Música Mariachi. Por favor, únase a nosotros! 

For all you gringo cats here is the translation! We are having a big party Cinco de Mayo. There will be lots of tequila and food for all. Mariachi Music too. 

Please join us! 
at the
DC Pooses for Peace Secret Headquarters
Saturday 5/5/012 
5:00 pm -? 
Special musical guest: Jimmy Buffett 
with our friends:
Salma Hayek
 Ugly Betty & her familia 
and the ghost of Frida Kahlo! 

All you can eat tuna y pollo tacos
Margarita Fountain!
Nip Flan
Jose Cuervo 

Boys, bring your own sombreros. Uni-brows, red lipstick and traditional Mexican costumes are a must for all girls. Ugly Betty ponchos and blue braces are also acceptable to wear! 

The Pooses for Peace

por favor ... please visit the Planet Calamari Shoppes


Madam Calamari Denies Involvement
in Secret Service Scandal

WASHINGTON -An unfolding investigation shows that 21 Americans representing the U.S. Secret Service and four branches of the military went drinking last Wednesday night and brought prostitutes wearing cat ears and leopard print costumes back to their hotel in Colombia. They were part of a team that was preparing security for President Obama, who attended the Summit of the Americas this past weekend in Cartagena.

FOX News has learned that members of the President's security team in Colombia were partying at a Cartagena strip club less than 48 hours before the President's arrival last Friday.

Unconfirmed sources believe that Pooses for Peace celebrity feline Zevo hussein Calamari and her cohorts own the brothel in Colombia along with several other houses of ill repute known as Brothel Calamari. Although it has never been proven, it is said that the most famous of these brothels was once located in Salem MA. Rumors are still circulating that the brothel in Salem is now being run by a coven of witch felines. The Pooses for Peace have recently moved their operation last fall and set up headquarters for the Pooses for Peace in Washington DC. No proof of a brothel owned by the heathen cats in the DC area has surfaced yet. We at FOX NEWS believe these cats will stop at nothing to cause trouble.

The Pooses for Peace were in Paris over the weekend celebrating Zevo hussein Calamari's birthday. Authorities in Paris are in the process of investigating the recent burglary of art, sculptures and the Medici collection of jewelry from the Louvre. They believe it is not a coincidence that the same type of crime was committed last year during Zevomas.

Zevo hussein Calamari issued a statement from her room at the Ritz Carlton in Switzerland " Um like ... what brothel? Whose Secret Service? but um...unlike the United States, prostitution is legal in Columbia. Boys will be boys and boys just wanna have fun ...Does this old Italian jewelry make me look fat? Please pour me another glass of that wine into this rare Medici glass..."

Celebrate Zevo's 19th birthday! Receive 19% off all items at the Planet Calamari Etsy Shop until April 19th with Code ZEVO19.


Deja Vu! Socre Blu!

Paris, France

French Officials report that several pieces of art, sculpture and jewelry from the Medici collection is now missing from the Louvre. No details of the theft have been released as of this hour. Sources believe that the infamous Pooses for Peace are responsible once again for the theft. A gala for Zevo hussein Calamari and her cohorts was held at the Louvre last night to celebrate the celebrity feline's 19th birthday causing chaos in Paris all week.

On Thursday and Friday evening, Paris Police were called into Montmartre where the Moulin Rouge is located. The police reported that hordes of drunken cats, dogs and a few wolves wearing top hats and tiaras were seen roaming the streets those nights after 3:00 AM singing show tunes from the movie Moulin Rouge. No arrests were made. Rumors that Nicole Kidman and Ewan McGregor were seen singing and dancing with the cats earlier that evening at the club.

In Britian HRM Queen Elizabeth's corgis are still missing. The Queen blames the Pooses for Peace for flirting with her dogs. Authorities believe the dogs are in Paris and are conspiring to run off to the United States... again.

THIS JUST IN: Statement from Zevo hussein Calamari: "Ugh.. I am so hung over.. hand me that basket... ackkkkkk oh so sorry about your shoes..... ....Um... ok.... Oh... yeah... Um...Does this Medici necklace make me look fat? aaaaack ginger ale please... turn those camera lights off paaalease! "


Happy 19th Birthday Zevo hussein Calamari!

Queen of Snark, founder of the Pooses for Peace, CEO of Planet Calamari and infamous cat burglar.... we love you!

Save 19% off all items at the Planet Calamari Etsy Shop by using the code ZEVO19 when checking out.


Zevomas in Paris!

Hordes of cats, dogs, skunks and celebrities have been pouring into Paris over the past few days to celebrate Zevomas. Most of the guest are staying at the Ritz Carlton.

Paparazzi have been hoping for glimpses of Sandra Bullock who is rumored to be staying with the celebrity cats. Johnny Depp sans wife Vanessa Paradis has also been seen drinking wine at a local cafe near the Louvre. The Ex Mrs Depp refused to be a part of the celebration. She claims the cats bit her again while they were staying with the Depps in their French villa.

Other celebrities seen walking the streets of Paris today were Donatella Versace and Gwyenth Paltrow. Versace will be providing the cats with couture to wear at both the Moulin Rouge and Louvre parties.

Feline celebrities have been seen shopping and dining on cheese and tuna pate. Mizz Lucy Fur, Nubi wan Kenobi, Smudgie de San Diego and the infamous Mizz Boo are planning the party details for this Saturday night's celebration. Other famous pooses will be attending such as,
Cheysuli and Gemini, The infamous Meezers and Daisy the Curly cat are just a few. (please forgive us for not html-ing tonight). Rumors are flying that Jewelry designer M hussein Monkay will be arriving with prima ballerina Luna miso Poosie. Rumors that the feisty beret donning Che Nikki will be making a guest appearance as well.

Celebrations will be held the entire week in Paris.

Inviting all Pooses to join us Monday and march in the Zevomas Parade at Arc de Triomphe.

Tuesday join us for fireworks and a gathering at the Eiffel Tower.

Wednesday we will be celebrating at the Latin Quarter with fine cheese, wine and music.

Thursday and Friday we will be partying at the Moulin Rouge! Bring your own Top Hats and Tiaras!

Saturday - Birthday Extravaganza at the Louvre!

Today at a Zevomas Press conference Jimmy Buffett issued this statement: "I am honored to be invited to Zevo's birthday gala. I had so much fun at the Casino Calamari in the past few years. And I am so happy that we will not be stranded in the Salem Ferry Parking Lot during another winter blizzard for this celebration. Fortunately Paris has a very strict fashion code which discourages its government officials to parade in ill fitting black suits!

It will be a pleasure to be with all her friends, too numerous to name and to once again be with those who support the Pooses for Peace Foundation. I have chosen a very special gift for Zevo. The Coral Reefers and I will be playing at her party. Margarita fountains will be provided for all!

The Zevo hussein Calamari Birthday Gala
Saturday 4/14/12
7:00 pm- ?
Louvre Paris France

Please bring your own top hats, tiaras and parrothead regalia!


Happy St Gertrudes Day
Patron of Cats & Herbalists


Gertrude of Nivelles
Feast Day: March 17

Patron of
. Cats & those who love them
. Travelers in Search of Lodging
. Gardeners . Herbalists

Invoked Against
. Rodents . Fear of Rats & Mice
. Fever

We decided to celebrate St Gertude's Day instead of St Pattys this year.. i mean what did he ever do for cats ... plus he ran off all the Druids out of Ireland!

Brought to you by Planet Calamari Art to Wear


George Clooney & Pooses for Peace Felines Arrested...

George Clooney and the Pooses for Peace Spokes-poose Zevo hussein Calamari were arrested today outside of the Sudanese embassy in Washington D.C.

Reports just came in that several Pooses for Peace members, Miss Lucy Fur, Nubi wan Kenobi, Mz Smudge, M. hussein Monkay, Prima Ballerina Luna Miso Poosie and at least 200 other felines along with Rep. Jim Moran (D-Va.), Rep. Jim McGovern (D-Mass.), former Rep. Tom Andrews (D-Maine), Nick Clooney (the actor's father), NAACP President Ben Jealous and Martin Luther King III were also taken into custody at the scene. Reports that a Schuanzer wearing a Che Guevara beret along with a newfie mix with the code name Poopalina were also seen being paw-cuffed.

The arrests were anticipated and part of the actor's effort to draw attention to the humanitarian crisis in Sudan. The actor, his father and politicians were protesting the country's blockade of supplies and humanitarian aide. Clooney was reportedly handcuffed and placed in the back of a police cab. Several cats sat on their laps while others were tossed in a paddy wagon. Later the paddy wagon had to be fumigated and a bio-hazard team brought in to attempt to remove the horrid stench.

"They were protesting the violence committed by the government of Sudan on its own innocent men, women and children," Clooney's publicist said in a statement published by TMZ. "They were demanding they allow humanitarian aid into the country before it becomes the largest humanitarian crisis in the world."

Clooney and the founders of the Pooses for Peace have been friends for years. Rumor has it he dated the infamous Miss Boo and broke her heart. This is said to be the reason why she ran off with Captain Jack Sparrow and now lives on a remote island.

Clooney is in Washington DC to celebrate the season of Zevomas, a month long tribute to Zevo hussein Calamari's birthday. The Pooses for Peace relocated their headquarters to Washington DC this fall from Salem MA which is said to have a dictator mayor who wears an ill-fitting black suit.

No word if Clooney and the cats have been released yet from jail. However an unconfirmed source reports seeing a catering truck with bottles of limoncello, large cans of tuna and salmon being carried into the prison.

This news has been brought to you by Planet Calamari your source for art to wear and unique gifts.


The Season of Zevomas Begins!

Today is March 14th and the very first day of Zevomas.

As you all may know, (or at least pretend you know!) Zevo hussein Calamari's 19th Birthday is April 14th. Years of tradition mandates that the entire month before her birthday, known as Zevomas begins. Inviting all Pooses for Peace members to join us in this celebration.

More details about party locations, events and special Bite & Run covert operations in honor of the Queen of Snark will be posted at the new Pooses for Peace secret headquarters in DC!

Zevo will be posted where she is registered soon!

Happy Zevomas! Let the tequila flow...


Happy Year of the Black Water Dragon!

Come celebrate the Chinese New Year of the Dragon with us.
Confucius say "It is good fortune to dance with cat"

Casino Calamari
(Our new DC location)
Monday January 23, 2012
1:00 pm- 3:00 am

Open bar includes Ginseng Nip-tini's, Mai Tais, Corona and Jose Cuervo Red.

Cat nip fortune cookies! Plenty of good take out Chinese Food!

The Lion Dance will be performed by The Kung Poose Dancing Troupe, mostly made up of Pooses for Peace members.

Gung Hay Fat Choy!
Please wear red for good fortune.
Bring your own chop sticks.