Planet Calamari Zazzle shop


Its the Zevo Calamari New Years Eve Gala!

Yes... YOU....You Are Invited!

The New Years Eve Extravaganza
at the
Casino Calamari
(our new DC location)
Saturday 12/31/11

7:00 pm - ?

Music by Jimmy Buffet and the Coral Reefer Band
with back up vocals by
Zevo hussein Calamari and the Pooses for Peace

Niptini Fountain
All you can eat buffet... tuna, ham, cheese, chicken and turkey
birdie toys
mouse souffle

Parrothead attire requested

Wishing you the happiest of New Years

Free Parking at our new DC location!
No worries about any mayors in ill fitting black suits calling the police this year!


Surprise Bite & Run Attack
on Capitol Hill Today

WASHINGTON—Congressional leaders reached an agreement Thursday to temporarily extend a payroll-tax cut by two months and begin negotiations on a yearlong extension, aides said. Congress has been deadlocked all week after greedy bastard House Republicans insisted on a one-year extension.

Aides said House Speaker John Boehner (R, Ohio) agreed to hold a new vote Friday on extending the tax cut to end an impasse that threatened to leave workers with a tax increase next year. Sources report the decision came immediately after a horde of cats wearing tiaras and Occupy Wall Street bedazzled shirts attacked many members of Congress in a surprise Bite & Run Attack.

Screams of agony, sneezing and gagging filled the room along with an unknown odor thought to be biological warfare. All injured congressmen were taken to the hospital where it is reported a cat in scrubs and a tiara administered Flintstone vitamins instead of pain medication. Many congressman are reporting that their watches, iPhones and wallets are now missing. A Biohazard unit has been sent into the congressional chambers to eliminate the odor.

Authorities believe this is the work of the infamous domestic tearist group known as the Pooses for Peace. The celebrity cats have been laying low since they moved their headquarters from Salem MA to the DC area. Their legions of the Bite & Run Patrols and Poot & Run have been known to attack dimwitted greedy congressmen in the past. It was reported that the special op forces known as the Poop & Run were also involved in this attack. No proof or evidence was found at the crime scene. All security cameras were taped off with duck tape and toy mice sprinkled with cat nip. A few bottles of tequila and one Manolo shoe were also found at the scene.

Pooses for Peace Spokes-poose Zevo hussein Calamari issued a statement which seemed to be filmed on a pirate ship. "What out for the 99% you bumbling idiots! And what is with John Boehner's hair and fake tan? Ack ack the taste of greed and bad cologne! Pass me that tequila Captain Jack. Does this iPhone make me look fat.... like Dah!... where is my other shoe?"


Merry Zappadan

Tis the season of
Zappadan December 4th through December 21

We pooses are all way to young to remember Frank Zappa. However, Zappadan is a very important holiday according to our pet human.

Frank Zappa was born in the very same hospital as our pet human ...and passed away on her birthday in 1993. (She took it personal...and needless to say she was very excited to hear that others dedicated a season to him that starts on her birthday)

The festival of Zappadan runs from the date of Frank's death, 12/4, through the date of his birth, 12/21. We did not make this up!

We would like to invite everyone to celebrate Zappadan at the Casino Calamari for the entire season.

Bring your own dental floss, and we will provide entertainment, munchies and of course tequila.

Oh... and a happy birthday to our pet human. (We think she would like this quote too!)

“I never set out to be weird. It was always other people who called me weird.”
Frank Zappa

Happy Birthday Nubi wan Kenobi!

It is Nubi wan Kenobi's birthday. ....Famed Jedi Knight,
member of the Pooses for Peace
and bodyguard to Meezer Ex-presidential candidate Cheysuli.

A birthday party will be held on the Forest Moon of Endor tonight.
Music by the Cantina Band

Star Wars attire is required.
Bring your own light saber.

Space shuttle leaves from Dulles Airport at noon.


Celebrate Cyber Monday
on Planet Calamari!

On Planet Calamari there are no long lines, snarky sales clerks snapping their gum while texting, and absolutely no threat of being pepper sprayed! Shop in your pjs while sipping a glass of wine. Your cats will be happy you stayed home with them!

Free shipping on Cyber Monday. Use code CYBERMONDAY11 when checking out.
Click here to visit the Planet Calamari Etsy Shoppe


Happy Thanksgiving !

On the first Thanksgiving, the stow-away cats aboard the Mayflower held a feast with the Indian cats who befriended them when they entered this new land. Together they smoked the peace pipe, drank rum and danced to the beat of the native drums.

Unlike their human counterparts, the English pooses remained friends with their new Indian friends and respected their customs and their land.

Today pooses in America celebrate this day with a feast, rum and an occasional toke on the catnip peace-pipe while watching the Macy's Day parade in hopes of seeing the Cat in the Hat balloon.

We wish you and your family a very Happy Thanksgiving!


Pooses for Peace Yacht Spotted in DC

Associated Press
Washington DC

Unconfirmed sources have reported seeing a yacht commandeered by the infamous Pooses for Peace docked in the DC waters near Alexandria Virginia over the weekend. Rumors are flying that the feline celebrities have moved their headquarters from Salem MA to the DC to monitor upcoming elections and to keep close tabs on the dim-witted congress now in session.

DC Authorities and Homeland Security have been alerted. No one has spotted the cats since they left Salem over a month ago. It has been reported that Mayor Kim Driscoll and her ill fitting black suit threw a party at City Hall when hearing the cats had vacated Salem for good. The mayor's iPhone and watch have been missing since the event. However Salem police believe the goods were stolen by the carnies who worked the tacky Halloween carnival.

Spokes-poose Zevo hussein Calamari issued a statement from what appeared to be a cabin down below in a yacht: "Kim who? What iPhone? Does this watch make me look fat? Pass me the wine please. Oh and could someone get Bo Obama on this iphone for me? "


Tarot Readings by Madam Zevo Calamari

Grand Opening of Madam Zevo Calamari's Psychic Center of DC

Tarot Readings
Palm and Paw Readings
Magic Spells and Potions

Party with the Mistress of Magic & the Pooses for Peace
to celebrate their new headquarters

Halloween Night
7:00 pm - ?

The Casino Calamari of DC
(we moved out of salem for good!)

Costumes mandatory
Margarita Fountain
All you can eat tuna, chicken and ham buffett
cat nip brownies

Music Guest
Jimmy Buffet and the Coral Poose Reefer Band


Adios Salem Fiesta

You are invited to the party of the decade!

Say Good Bye to Salem
with the Pooses for Peace

Adios Salem Fiesta
Casino Calamari
wee Salem
Friday 9/23- Friday 9/30

Special Guests
Jimmy Buffett and the Coral Reefer Band

Margarita Fountain
All you can eat chicken, tuna and ham buffet
Nip brownies

Dress code:
Parrothead attire
Bring your own coconut bra & grass skirt
no black suits allowed!

We are going to party like its 1999!


Arrrgh It's Talk Like A Pirate Day!

It is a Holy Day for all Pastafarians ( devotees of the Flying Spaghetti Monster) today. May you be blessed by his Noodly Appendage. Ramen!

All pooses are invited to our private party at Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Special guest...... Captain Jack Sparrow! Be ready to swoon.

Please wear your patch and pirate attire.

Arrrrrrrrrr Arrrrrrrrrr shiver me timbers.. there will be plenty rum for all.. arrrrrrrrr

Sing along with us!
Lyrics by Xavier Atencio and music by George Bruns

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We pillage, we plunder, we rifle, and loot,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot,
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We extort, we pilfer, we filch, and sack,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
Maraud and embezzle, and even high-jack,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We kindle and char, inflame and ignite,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
We burn up the city, we're really a fright,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

We're rascals, scoundrels, villans, and knaves,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
We're devils and black sheep, really bad eggs,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We kindle and char, inflame and ignite,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
We burn up the city, we're really a fright,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

We're rascals, scoundrels, villans, and knaves,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
We're devils and black sheep, really bad eggs,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We're beggars and blighters, ne'er-do-well cads,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
Aye, but we're loved by our mommies and dads,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.


Security Beefed Up In Salem
Protecting the Friendship

Associated Press
Salem MA

On the eve of Talk Like A Pirate Day , Salem's Mayor Kim Driscoll has requested the city of Boston for extra police coverage for the tall ship known as The Friendship. (Salem police were too busy guarding manholes on Bridge Street this weekend to protect the ship.)

Driscoll along with her ill fitting black suit and city officials are worried that the domestic terrorist cats known as the Pooses for Peace may commandeer the ship (again) along with their BFF, Captain Jack Sparrow. The shipped disappeared last year and the pirate cats were blamed, although no proof was found.

The cats are Pastafarians, devotees of the Flying Spaghetti Monster . Talk Like A Pirate Day is a Pastafarian Holy day and all those who worship the Noodley deity must wear pirate regalia, eat pasta and drink rum or red wine.

In past years the cats and Captain Jack Sparrow walked in the Haunted Happenings Parade causing an uproar and much needed excitement during the boring parade. Driscoll has declared that this year she will not be upstaged (again) by the cats. The word on the street is that the cats will be boycotting this year's parade and are moving to the DC area in order to be closer to the shady politics and lack of action by those pretending to be a part of the weanie congress (both sides!).

Zevo hussein Calamari, mayor of Wee Salem issued a statement " Um... like... Kim who, Where is DC? ? What ship? Does this pirate hat make me look fat? Pass the rum... arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh"


Pooses for Peace Moving Headquarters
to.... DC area?


Unconfirmed sources report that the celebrity feline group known as the Pooses for Peace will be moving their headquarters close to the DC area at the end of this month.

Known as a domestic liberal terrorist group the cats have been laying low for the past year since one of their leaders Miss Boo went into hiding from Homeland Security. Authorities believe she is living on a private island with her lover Captain Jack Sparrow. Their only activities lately seem to be commandeering the tall ship in Salem known as the Friendship and tormenting Mayor Kim Driscoll and her ill fitting black suit whenever possible.

With the 2012 election approaching and the useless members of Congress (greedy bastards and morons on both sides) the cats feel it is necessary to step up Bite & Run activities and play an active role in getting things done.

Moving boxes, vans and limos have been seen frequenting the Casino Calamari this past week located in wee Salem. The cats claimed this territory a self proclaimed country which seceded from the city of Salem and Commonwealth of MA over a dispute during the last mayorial election when Zevo hussein Calamari won over Mayor Kim Driscoll. However the city did not recognize the votes by the animal citizens of Salem and Driscoll declared herself a victorious winner. (Even though the only other candidate was a homeless man who recieved 20% of the votes!)

The citizens of Salem are distraught that the celebrity cats are not only leaving, but will be closing many of their businesses in the area such as the Casino Calamari, Cinema Calamari, The Holy Spaghetti Factory, The church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, A Costume shop, Ice rink , Tarot & Paw reading place and a few other questionable operations such as the rumored Brothel Calamari.

In the past years celebrities and hordes of cats poured into Salem the first week of October for the Haunted Happenings parade to march along side the celebrity cats. This boosted business for every cafe, bar and restaurant in the area and Salem's economy. Celebrities such as Nicole Kidman, George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Oprah, Cher and countless others marched in the parade with the cats and their BFF Captain Jack Sparrow. Later paparazzi and celebrities were seen at local hotspots, shops and having their palms read.

This year there will be no celebrities or Pooses for Peace fans to contribute to the newly raised hotel and restaurant taxes along with the hiked parking rates thus adding more stress to the City of Salem's debt.

The cats were also blamed for the appearance of the Flying Spaghetti Monster in the past few parades and the mayor's craving for pasta since... click here if you don't remember!

Mayor Kim Driscoll and her black suit released a statement this morning: "These cats and their cohorts are a menace to society. The city of Salem will survive without the millions of dollars they bring in each year. I have hired a consultant to research the impact of this situation and taxes will only need to be raised a little bit (50%) more to compensate for this loss. We will be putting an Uber Walmart with a Fiesta Show Carnival in the so called wee Salem territory which will attract the type of citizens we really want living here in this maritime tourist destination. And as I have said in the past, I can only hope that it starts to rain around 8:30 pm on Halloween night. These damn witches are a pain in the ....Ouch....... oh MY gawd what is that smell? OOOOOOOOOO my ankles, my new black suit.. aaaaaah...."


Pooses for Peace Stowaways on
Friendship Bound to NY?

Associate Press
Salem MA


The domestic terrorist group known as the Pooses for Peace are believed to be stowaways on the tall ship known as the Friendship this evening. It's destination is NYC where the famed cat burglars may be planning one more heist at the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

Mayor Kimberly Driscoll attended the ceremony in her predictable ill fitting black suit. Being caught off guard she was not wearing ankle (or shall we say cankle) or knee guards and is said to be nursing an ankle bite by a mysterious cat wearing a tiara that ran onto the ship. Other cats wearing tiaras, pirate hats and a dog wearing a Che Guevara beret were also spotted running up the ramp unto the shp.

The mayor is in stable condition. Her suit however is covered in grey fur and has several tears. No witnesses were available to identify the so called cat. The mayor has lost credibility with many of the locals of Salem except for the ones who unfortunately drank the dreaded Driscoll- laced coffee served at the Chamber of Commerce meetings.

Unconfirmed sources report that the celebrity cats have been laying low for several months planning for this opportunity. The cats are said to be moving their Bite & Run headquarters out of Salem MA soon to an undisclosed area in the Baltimore/DC area. It is said the cats are tired of the shenanigans happening in Congress and on Capitol Hill and plan to have a presence in when congress returns from their vacation. And they are totally bored with the petty small politics of Salem.

Captain Jack Sparrow, friend and accomplis to the celebrity cats was seen walking through Salem yesterday at the Maritime festival. Authorities believe he is also aboard the Friendship this evening. Homeland security and the FBI have been alerted.

Zevo hussein Calamari, spokespoose for the renegade operation issued a press statement from what appeared to be a bunk in a ship: " It was like totally so cool that everyone was waving white hankies today. Kimmie who? I have a foul taste of politiican in my mouth. Please pass that rum, Jack. Thanks hon."


In Memory of Boudreaux the Magi

We are heartbroken to bring you this sad news of our dear friend and comrade, Boudreax the Magi who passed away a few weeks ago while Planet Calamari was in retrograde. We were unable to post on this blog.

A memorial service and wake was held at the Casino Calamari in honor of this Magi and brave member of the Pooses for Peace. He was the Magi who predicted the birth of the komodo dragons to a virgin dragon on St Stephen's Day.

Boudreaux had special psychic abilities, spoke 4 languages ( one of them being the very difficult Giant Pink Snail language) and was also a great dancer. He was employed as a full time greeter at his pet human's acupuncture office. Loved by all, He is survived by his pet human, Padre Don who is also psychic, speaks several languages and also dances. Padre Don will be holding a formal Jazz wake and ceremony in the fall.

Meanwhile Boudreaux is now up to be cannonized as a saint. He has already performed several miracles that the Pope and Vatican refuse to recognize. However we believe that any Pope that wears red Prada shoes is a fake.

Pope Nubius the Jedi of Our Lady of Perpetual Squids will be performing the cannonization this fall. Holy cards, relics and candles will be available to devotees.

St Boudreaux is the patron of compassion, humor and self employed acupuncturists. May he rest in peace. We love you dear boy and may your spirit be with us always. Love to your sweet human, Don.
The Pooses for Peace


Happy Towel Day!

from Wikipedia

"Towel Day is celebrated every May 25 as a tribute by fans of the late author Douglas Adams. The commemoration was first held in 2001, two weeks after his death on May 11, 2001. On this day, fans carry a towel with them during the day to demonstrate their participation and mourning of the author. The towel is a reference to Adams's popular science fiction comedy series The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy."

In honor of Douglas Adams we will be wearing our towels all day and reciting passages from his books.

A Vogon Poetry reading will begin in a sound proof room at 8:00 pm.

Tonight Cinema Calamari will be showing the movie The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. All pooses are invited.

We will be serving Pangalactic Gargleblasters and mice crepes. Please bring your own towel.
So long Douglas and thanks for all the fish!


Feliz Cinco de Mayo


Fiesta de esta noche con los Gatos de la Paz!
(party tonight with the pooses for peace!)


Suarez Family Arrives at
the Casino Calamari

Associated Press
wee Salem MA

The Suarez family arrived at the Casino Calamari today to begin preparations for the Cinco de Mayo Fiesta. The family had so much fun at last year's event they decided to cook for it again.

Ignacio Suarez aka Poppy, father of Betty and Hilda will be cooking for the fiesta. (Ham enchiladas were requested by Cheysuli and her Meezer friends). Other Mexican entrees such as tuna-dillas, flan con nip de gato and pollo tacos will be served at the party.

A margarita fountain has been donated by Jimmy Buffett for the event. Salma Hayek will be loaning costumes from the movie Frida to celebrity cats Zevo Calamari, Smudge and Miss Lucy Fur and several of their close friends.

Che Nikki, Luna Miso Poosie, Monkay Hussein and Nubi wan Kenobi will be singing back up vocals with Jimmy Buffett.

Ugly Betty ponchos will also be available for cats and dogs to wear to the fiesta.

Salem Mayor Kimberly Driscoll has called in for extra police units for back up on Thursday's event. The cats and the mayor have a long history of not seeing eye to eye on holiday festivities. The mayor has been invited to the fiesta on the condition that she dress in traditional Mexican attire, with red lipstick, a uni-brow and she must ditch the black suit. No response has been given by the mayor's office as of today on her plans. Parking is free for all Pooses for Peace members in the underground parking facility at the Casino. ( The mayor will have to find her own parking!)


Pooses for Peace Snubbed by Royal Couple?

Rumors are flying that the celebrity cats known as the Pooses for Peace were not invited to the Royal Wedding. The cats have been a thorn in Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth's side for encouraging her royal corgis to run off to San Diego with them.

Unconfirmed sources believe that the cats and their entourage are already in London and will make a surprise entrance during the ceremony.

We will keep you up to date with the latest news, fashions and more during the Royal Wedding live broadcast.......


Paris Prepares for Zevomas

Associated Press
Paris France

Celebrities and hordes of cats, dogs, skunks and other creatures have been streaming into Paris this week for the extravaganza of the year, Zevo hussein Calamari's 18th birthday.

Celebrations have already begun as the celebrity cats known as the Pooses for Peace rented the entire Ritz Carlton Hotel of Paris for their entourage and friends. Mizz Lucy Fur, Miss Smudge, Nubi wan Kenobi, Luna miso Poosie and Monkay Hussein have been in Paris since the weekend planning the festivities. Other famous felines such as Cheysuli, the Meezers, Miss Daisy along with the infamous Che Nikki the schnauzer (and oh so many more that we just don't have the time or chi to mention or do the html needed) have been spotted sipping wine at cafes along the streets of Paris. Unconfirmed sources have reported seeing the Zevos BFF, Miss Boo snogging with Captain Jack Sparrow at the Ritz. Miss Boo is still wanted by Homeland Security and has been staying in Switzerland for the past year.

The birthday celebration will be held at the Moulin Rouge on Thursday evening. Rumors are flying about that Nicole Kidman and Ewan McGregor will be performing a few musical numbers from the movie that evening.

A pre-birthday party will be held at the Louvre on Wednesday evening by invitation only for all members, legions and friends of the Pooses for Peace. Live coverage of this event will take place with Oprah hosting.

All attendees are asked to wear tiaras and top hats.



Associated Pres
Washington DC


Unconfirmed sources say the attack began as Speaker John Boehner, R-Ohio and the GOP threatened to shut down the government while holding the hostage the Arts, Women's Rights, Healthcare, National Parks and Zoos during the latest meeting on Capitol Hill.

It is reported that cats wearing berets and bedazzled Planned Poosehood t-shirts, dogs in berets donning Pooses for PBS tees and a lone wolf wearing a Yellowstone baseball hat sprang from the rafters, windows, and heating ducts. Sources believe the skunks were naked. As the attack ensued, screams, sneezes and gags were heard all over Washington DC in the early morning waking the Obama children, the homeless of DC and hung over pundits.

Not one republican ankle, knee or private area was spared. A few spineless democrats were also nipped and scratched. All victims have been transported to an undisclosed hospital and are said to be in stable condition. However an unidentified nurse at the hospital claims to have seen a cat wearing a tiara and designer scrubs switch the injured senators' pain meds with Flintstone vitamins. The nurse was given the day off with no pay.

A biohazard team has been brought in to the Capitol building to remove the stench. An order to burn all shoes and stogy suits from the Mens Warehouse has been given since most were covered in an eco friendly gift that keeps on giving. Senators have reported their iPads, iPhones, blackberrys, wallets and rolex watches are missing.

A press conference will be held today at noon. There are no suspects as there is no evidence available. All security cameras at the Capitol building were mysteriously turned off.

Authorities believe this is the work of the infamous liberal feline domestic group, the Pooses for Peace. Known for their legions of Bite & Run brigades as well as the Poop & Run Patrol and lest anyone forget the Poot & Run covert forces.

The cats have been inactive in the past few months, confusing authorities and their fans. Some believe they have been planning a surprise attack for this week to start off the holiday season of Zevomas. It was perfect timing that the GOP decided to hold the government hostage.
Leader of the pack, Zevo hussein Calamari's birthday is next Thursday and is usually celebrated in Paris, France. Her cohorts and entourage are said to be planning a party at the Moulin Rouge.

Miss Calamari released a statement early this morning from what appeared to a dressing room at a Paris boutique. "Ackkkkk the taste of greed and stupidity. Tell me who is the terrorist? That pack of greedy bastards who are holding the government hostage over womens' rights, arts and national parks should be sent to Gitmo with no pay! Pass that Pastis please... accckkk.... Does this tiara make me look fat? More pastis now........Oh yes- i will take this pair of shoes and that rack of Versace. You can use this credit card... Socre blu"


Happy Saint Patty's Day

Come join the Pooses for Peace
at Hamburger O' Marys (located inside Casino O'Calamari's)
in Wee Salem for a St Patty's Day party.

Thursday 3/17/11
5:00 pm-?

Wear Green
Bring your own tiaras and shamrocks

Tickets are still available for this event.
Call 1-800-NIP-ZEVO

Free parking for all Wee Salem Residents and guest of the Casino

May the Tuna dish rise up to meet you,
Zevo O' Calamari and the Pooses O'Peace


Bite & Run Attack in Wisconsin in Progress...

BREAKING NEWS..... Bite & Run Attack In Progress .... Scott Walker & GOP Senators Bit...... Terrorist Liberal Cats Blamed....... Pooses for Peace seen in Wisconsin with Michael Moore..... details to follow................


Happy Year of the Wabbit

ome celebrate the Chinese New Year of the Wabbit with us.
Confucius say "It is good fortune to dance with cat"

Casino Calamari
Thursday 2/3/11
3:00 pm- 3:00 am

Open bar includes Ginseng Nip-tini's, Mai Tais, Corona and Jose Cuervo Red.

Cat nip fortune cookies! Plenty of good take out Chinese Food!

The Lion Dance will be performed by The Kung Poose Dancing Troupe, mostly made up of Pooses for Peace members.

Special Guest
Bugs Bunny

Please wear red for good fortune! Bring your own chop sticks.
We will be playing Bugs Bunny Cartoons all day at Cinema Calamari

Gung Hay Fat Choy


Surprise Birthday Party for Keith O!!!!!!!

It's Keith Theodore (yes Theodore) Olbermann's birthday today! And we are throwing him a surprise party tonight at the Casino Calamari.

You are invited to celebrate with Keith O and the Pooses for Peace tonight. It will be the launch party for the Pooses for Peace Broadcasting network too. Featuring new TV shows for intelligent pooses and people, staring presidential candidate Cheysuli, diva Miss Lucy Fur, Those crazy Meezer boys, Zevo hussein Calamari, Monkay Hussein and many more. (and yes we are way to lazy to html everyone's links in tonight- so sorry.)

And Happy Birthday to Smudge and Miss Boo's Pet human too!!!!!!!!

Party begins at 7:00 pm
shhhh.. it's a surprise!
bring your own tiara
all you can eat buffet and tequila jello shots
Nip-tinis and nip brownies


Pirate Cats Launch TV Network
Debuting Keith Olbermann...

Associated Press

Unconfirmed sources report the the domestic terrorist feline group known as the Pooses for Peace have just launched a pirate TV and radio broadcasting system called PFP, the Pooses for Peace Broadcast Network.

Authorities are uncertain where the origin of the signal could be. Some believe it is coming from Mexico. Others believe Cuba. One official believes it may be coming from the recently defected country known as wee Salem, once a part of the Commonwealth of MA and the city of Salem MA.

Rumors that Keith Olbermann is now preparing to launch his own TV show on the PFP network is circulating. Keith O is said to be friends with the celebrity cats and may be dating the infamous Zevo hussein Calamari.

At this time Keith O and the Pooses for Peace have not returned calls or made any comments. Residents of Salem MA have reported seeing Olbermann and Captain Jack Sparrow walking down Derby Street early today.

More wiki-leaks about the mysterious cat formerly known as Toi and then later leaked as Miss Mao, is really known as Smudge and is not French, despite her smoking habit and pencil skirt. Nor is she Chinese despite her Mao posters. Smudge is a native American shaman cat with healing abilities and magic powers. We can only hope that when Miss Boo returns from her hiding from the authorities, the two will be BFFs.


Keith Olbermann Spotted at Casino Calamari in wee Salem

Associated Press
Salem MA

Unconfirmed sources report that Keith Olbermann has been spotted entering the Casino Calamari of wee Salem MA this morning. Rumors have surfaced that Keith O has sought the comfort of his friends the Pooses for Peace, and perhaps lover...Zevo hussein Calamari after quitting being fired by the greedy right wing neocon bastards of Comcast from MSNBC yesterday.

There is speculation that Olbermann may run as VP with presidential candidate Cheysuli in 2012. The Pooses for Peace, a liberal faction sometimes known as domestic terrorists have already supported this ticket. Nubi wan Kenobi has once again offered his services to Miss Cheysuli as a bodyguard. Rumors that the legions of Bite Patrol are on red alert tonight. Security at Comcast and NBC has been tightened.

A birthday party for Keith O is now in the works at the Casino Calamari. The celebrity cats will be announcing details later in the week. Paparazzi has been flocking to Salem all day. Mayor Kimberley Driscoll has sent out for more police units and asked for assistance from the Boston police. Driscoll is concerned the celebrity cats will take the attention away from her, and her ill fitting black suit this week.

Zevo hussein Calamari has released a statement this evening. " Which party? Or should i say Witch party? We are in Salem!"....
Keith darling, pass the Strega please.


Charo Returns to Casino Calamari

She's back!

Charo will be performing (again) tonight at the Casino Calamari to celebrate her 60th birthday. It will be an evening of tacky entertainment for all thanks to Nubi wan Kenobi who signed a contract with Charo a few years ago! click here if you don't remember

Cuchi Cuchi!
Wear something outrageous
Tapas buffett
Sangria fountain
Plenty of Spanish nip


Wiki Leaks Reveal Toi's Real Name... Miz Mao

Is Toi, the so called French poose who now resides at Miss Boo's home while she is away a Chinese spy? Wiki-leaks has revealed that her real name is Miz Mao aka Smudgey Mao.

No comment has been made from the domestic terrorist group known as the Pooses for Peace as of this latest leak.

Unconfirmed sources report that the cats are busy preparing for (another) blizzard blow out party at their famed Casino Calamari this week. Salem authorities are on alert. The snow emergency ban is on- The celebrity cats have parked their solar powered limos in the Salem Ferry Lot along with their lear jet and Jimmy Buffett's bus. Chinese food has been seen being delivered to the Casino.............



Sending healing thoughts to all those who were brutally shot down on Saturday in AZ. We will be lighting candles tonight for all those who were victims and their families.

This madness needs to stop. We feel that the so called Christians such as Sarah Palin, Glen Beck, Rush, and Bill O need to step back. Stop the fear mongering. Stop the lies. Take back your words of hate. You are all to blame for this shameless act. It is time to start mending this country and stop trying to incite acts of bigotry and hate. Time to play nice. Grow up.

Our dear friend Keith O has eloquently put into words how we feel.

Be nice!
the Pooses for Peace


Rest In Peace, Dearest Princess Guacamole

It is with a heavy heart that we share this very sad news.

Princess Guacamole aka Mary Alice, one of our dearest human friends, supporter and honorary member of the Pooses for Peace has passed away over the rainbow.

We would like to celebrate her life and honor her as the rock star that she really was. It is sad that her extraordinary sense of humor and unique view of life was not appreciated by the masses, muggles and snooty ones of the planet.

Princess Guacamole was a connoisseur of cheesecake, chocolate and of course guacamole. She was a true pastafarian, a devotee of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and a follower of the Dalai Lama. She was an acupuncturist, herbalist, mother, hippie.... and above all she was an enlightened comedian.

She commented regularly on our blog and even gave us tips on who should be featured in a Bite & Run. She was the brilliant mind who introduced the concept of the ever popular Pooses for Peace Poop & Run Brigade. And thanks to her we are now BFF with Captain Jack Sparrow!

Please join us this weekend celebrating the life and laughter of Princess Guacamole.
This is the Wake of all Wakes!

Casino Calamari
Saturday noon- Monday noon

Special guests:
Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
Stevie Nicks
Captain Jack Sparrow
Jon Stewart & Stephen Cobert
Al Gore

Food will be flown in from around the globe!
All you can eat buffet of Cheesecake, Chocolate, Guacamole
Authentic Mexican Comida for all
Indian Curry Buffet
The Holy Spaghetti Factory's Fettucini Alfredo Buffet

and a 12 foot long organic raw veggie and fruit salad bar

Margarita Fountain
Wine, Strega and Carrot Juice
Coconut smoothies

Thank you dear Princess Guacamole for all your love, laughter and snarky comments. May you be at peace and out of pain dearest friend. We are sure you are now sipping rum and nibbling cheesecake with an Angel resembling Captain Jack Sparrow somewhere on a fluffy cloud.

We will miss you.
The Pooses for Peace and all of us at Planet Calamari