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so many little time

I have so much to do before the opening parade this Thursday in Salem. Being the Strega Poose of Salem has so many responsibilities. There are so many pooses are coming in this week to be a part of the Gatti della Strega sui Vespas Brigade (inspired by the dikes on bikes) joining me in the parade. Boo is having her vespa shipped in and i heard Lucy...who has now changed her name (AGAIN) to Lucifer and is riding in on a hog with Brad Pitt. I am wondering if she means a real hog or a motorcycle. ......Hopefully she is still on her meds!

ciao for now....
Strega Zevo Calamari

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Ich wünsche meine Rubine,
die jetzt zurückgebracht werden.

I want my rubies returned now!
Katarina Witt

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What ring???

I think it is just silly that Paris Hilton thinks i took her silly ring... i HAD this ring since my birthday..... anyway..... she deserved to be bit after the things she accused me of. Zevo was right.

I am so over this whole Ocktoberfest thing. What a bore. So i am leaving for Salem today so i can be in the parade this week with Zevo. I am not sure what Lucy will do yet... she is still running around Germany with new ruby earrings. I think she should just sell them, buy a vespa and come to Salem too...


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Next on Entertainment Tonight
Celebrity Pooses Gone Wild in Germany

Stay Tuned ........ We have the latest scoop on Paris Hilton and her new friends, Boo and Lucette famed celebrity pooses who have been seen drinking and dancing in the streets of Germany.

Also this just in...Katarina Witt has reported losing her ruby earrings and Paris Hilton is missing a ring............ More after this commercial break.....

Also coming up in this edition... Zevo Calamari is chosen to be the Strega Queen of the Salem Witch parade this coming Thursday........

This edition of Entertainment Tonight is brought to you byPlanet Calamari


Betrunkene Katzen an Oktoberfest

Translation... Drunk Cats at Oktoberfest

Massen der betrunkenen Katzen waren gesehenes in die Straßen von Deutschland heute tanzen. Paris Hilton und ihre Freunde waren die Mitte der Aufmerksamkeit heute. Viele Besucher beschwerten sich vom Lösen ihres schmucksachen und Mappen.

Translation: Crowds of drunk cats were seen dancing in the streets of Germany today. Paris Hilton and her friends were the center of attention. Many visitors complained of loosing their jewelry and wallets.

Poose-cam live from Germany brought to you by
der Planet Kalmar

Pooses celebrate Oktoberfest with outlaw Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton swills it up at Oktoberfest, and poses for photographers September 25, 2006. Hilton was charged on Tuesday with drunk driving, stemming from an arrest earlier this month she blamed on her rush to get a late-night "In N' Out" burger order for a car load of hungry drunk pooses wearing tiaras.
Unconfirmed sources reports that the famed poose celebrity Boo and her friend Lucette (the poose formerly known as Lucy before her rehab stint) are now in Germany with Hilton for Oktoberfest, dressed as St. Pauli's girls. Hilton allegedly is not too upset about the charges.

Poose-cam live from Germany brought to you by
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Le plus cher zevo,

Ayant un beau temps ici en France. Je suis si heureux vous n'êtes pas ici pour le ruiner.
nubee wan kenobi

Dearest Zevo,
Having a lovely time here in France. I am so happy you are not here to ruin it.

ps...johnny's wife adores na na na na


jedi poose shipped fed-ex to france

Dear Lucette,

I have HAD it with this Jedi nonsense once and for all. I can not get a thing done around here with out Master Nubee Wan Kenobi shaking his light saber at me and threatening me with THE FORCE. So i have decided to ship him overnight fed-ex to France. He can help you work on the Star Tours ride at Poosey Land. He is very good friends with Chewbacca and R2D2. Perhaps they can help you as well.

I have also called my dear friend Martha to help you with the design of the restaurants and menus. We grew very close when we were both serving time. Perhaps after the brothel is remodeled and the crowds in Salem calm down i shall come visit for a rest.

Give Johnny my love. And watch out for his wife. ...she bites back.


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How to torment your pet human....

I was bored the other day. Lucy is in France with Johnny Depp planning Poseyland and Zevo is remodeling the brothel. So i came up with a new game.

Here is a fun and easy way to torment your pet human. Find a it into the house. Play with it. Let it live. Make sure you make lots of noise so your human hears you. As soon as your pet human walks in the room, let the mouse go.

Let the mouse back out of the house later when your pet human is gone. However it is important to pretend you are still looking for the mouse so your pet human thinks it is still there. You can keep this going for days or even weeks.



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Un Messaggio Dal Papa

"Pregare che i gatti della strega presto si convertiranno in chiesa cattolica e daranno tutti i loro soldi esso anche. Amen"
La Papa

Translation: "Pray that the witch cats soon convert to the catholic church and give all their money to it too. Amen"
The Pope

Poose-cam live from the Vatican is brought to you by:
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TODAY ON THE 700 CLUB.......

"The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians." –Pat Robertson

this true quote by pat roberston is brought to you by Planet Calamari A peaceful planet that is accepting of all religions and alternative lifestyles.


Salem Pagan Pooses Celebrate Mabon

Laurie Cabot
The Official Witch of Salem
Laurie Cabot

Mabon, is the Autumn Equinox. This day divides the day and night equally, and as pooses we all take a moment to pay our respects to the impending darkness. We also give thanks to the waning sunlight, as we store our harvest of this year's crops, tequila and jimmy choo shoes. Tonight Pagan Pooses of Salem will be making (and drinking ) wine, gathering dried herbs, cat nip, walking in the woods, scattering offerings in harvested fields, offering libations to trees, adorning burial sites with leaves, acorns, and pine cones to honor those pooses who have passed to the other side.
Tonight's celebrations are hosted by Laurie Cabot's familars.

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Johnny Depp makes a statement......

Hollywood, CA
Johnny Depp has released a statement that it is true he has been with Lucy the Cat at the Beverly Hills Hotel the entire time of the uproar at Disneyland. Depp claims that Lucy is innocent and has been set up by a poose stunt double looking from revenge.

He is asking all pooses to leave Disneyland peacefully. He has promised to open a theme park in the South of France for Pooses...... PooseyLand.

Lucy the Cat will be in charge of this project and will be in France for the next for weeks. Any disturbance in the US is the result of unrully substitutes.

Depp also recommends the Cobb Salad on the menu at the hotel.


News Flash...It's A Small World Take Over....

Anahiem CA
After taking the Johnny Depp Statue hostage in the Pirates of the Caribbean ride, pooses from all over the world stormed Disneyland demanding that the It's a Small World ride have pooses from all over the world in it. Unconfirmed sources have seen two pooses wearing tiaras with a bottle of tequila leading the protest. Other sources claim the protest is led by a Lucy the cat who is once again off her meds and thinks she is really in Hollywood with Johnny Depp.
Johnny Depp could not be reached to comment.

It's a small world song
Live Poose-cam from Disneyland brought to you by Planet Calamari



This just in from Anaheim, CA...... Pooses led by Lucy the cat who is once again off her meds have taken over The Pirates of the Caribbean Ride and have taken the Johnny Depp statue hostage until their demands are met.
One demand is that the song will be changed to the words "Yo ho Yo Ho a Pooses' Life for me" The other demand is that pirate cats must be added to the decor of the ride, since there is a dog in it.
Swat teams and riot police have been called in... we will keep you posted. Now back to more propaganda.
Pirates of the Caribbean Ride Song


Pooses flock to Disneyland today......

Associated Press
Anaheim CA
Droves of Pooses have been flocking to Disneyland all night and today to celebrate Talk Like A Pirate Day. Their intention is to take over the famed Pirates of the Carribean Ride for the entire day.

Disney officials are concerned about the safety of the treasure chests filled with fake jewels in the ride, as well as jewelry worn by tourists attempting to get on the ride.

Unconfirmed sources have heard that they changed the words of the famous song to "Yo Ho Yo Ho a Poose's Life for me........"


boo studies how to talk like a pirate.....

Tomorrow is "talk like a pirate day"......i must prepare at least a few phrases for the day...... arrr arrrrr... maybe i will go to disneyland tomorrow and ride the pirates of the carribean a few times........

yo ho yo ho a pirate's life for me!
shiver me timbers,

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Pirates invade Salem!

I am so excited.... the Pirate Festival is happening this weekend on Winter Island ! I am so hoping Captain Jack Sparrow will be there. ..... hmmm i need to find my wench outfit.

See you there.... yo ho yo ho

p.s. don't forget...this tuesday is talk like a pirate day......arrr arr arr

Pirate Festival at Winter Island

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Happy working grads from the Calamari Institute

Meet some of the happy graduates of The Calamari Institute of Substitute Pooses.
All have gone on to sub for famous celebrity pooses like Boo, Lucy, Tao and Zevo Calamari. Living the good life, being fed, poosed, by pet humans who do not know that their real pooses are off consorting with the glitteratti.

Call our admissions office right now. Don't delay. Operators are standing by.

Hablamos espanol!

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Poose Fashion News Alert

What is the fur-labeling loophole? Current law states that designers can put up to $150 of real fur trim on a garment, but not mention fur on the label - even if the fur is dyed or sheared to look fake. And with fur trim being added to so many garments, even the most conscientious consumer may be led to unknowingly purchase real fur.

Learn to be a substitute poose

The Calamari Institute of Substitute Pooses is now accepting applications for thier fall semester. Join the thousands of happy pooses in a fullfilling exciting career as a Poose-temp, a Poose Substitute or a Poose Stunt Double.

Call our admissions office right now. Don't delay. Operators are standing by to help you start you on your way to success.

Hablamos español !

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Lucy admits to plastic surgery............

I have spent the week getting back to nature and reconnecting with my bahndas, so let's roll! I hear fashion week in NYC is going well, but Calvin and Carolina need some sleek pooses to stroll the runway in the latest trends. I have had a little work done so feel up to the challenge.

And, Boo...stay away from the friggin earrings, alright?

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boo teaches yoga at rancho la puerta

Demonstrating the Simple Stretch Poosehasana Pose.

Boo will be available for private yoga classes today only. She will be returning to San Diego along with her heavily medicated friend Lucy tomorrow.

Poose Yoga taught by Boo will be offered in Balboa Park on Thursday mornings and at the San Diego Zoo on weekends.

Zevo Calamari will be returning to Salem tomorrow as well to attend to business.

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salma hayek joins pooses for peace

Unconfirmed sources report that while staying at the Rancho La Puerta, Selma Hyeck was seen doing shots of organic tequila and herbal margaritas with celebrity founders of Pooses for Peace, Mizz Boo and Zevo Calamari. Convinced that it was a wonderful way to spread peace thru out the planet, Miss Hyeck agreed to be the human spokes-person for this nonprofit club. She also donated a large amount of money.

Miss Hyeck refuses to make any comment on the hangover she had at breakfast or where her earrings have disappeared to.

No sources have yet confirmed on the where abouts of Lucy the poose, who started flinging rasberry smoothies at all the guests after their yoga class. It is rumored that she is once again off her medication.

Poose-cam live from Mexico brought to you bycalamari del planeta

meanwhile back at el rancho del calamari.....

it's all mine... mine ... mine... the balcony... the birdie toys.... the catnip.... my pet humans....the couch...the rug ....mine ... mine.. mine...
nubee wan kenobi
jedi poose

Live Poose-cam from Salem brought to you by Planet Calamari


a noche en rancho la puerta

OLE' ...
They said we could not have booze here but this is organic tequila so i am sure it is ok. I am waiting for Boo and Lucy to bring the free range mice nachos and herbal margaritas.

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breakfast at rancho la puerta

Nothing like a nice mimosa and organic mouse crepes for breakfast. We will be doing the bird tour after our yoga class....then a hot stone poose massage!

It was sweet of Lucy to invite us down. I do hope she takes the calming herbs they recommend.

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Poose Yoga at Rancho La Puerta

Well, all this talk about drinking too much and wild partying has made me decide to go holistic. I'm taking a week off to go to Rancho La Puerta and will spend the time hiking, chasing lizards, practicing yoga, dining on spa food and getting back to nature. I tried to talk Boo and Zevo into coming with me, but they want to spend the time jet setting and party hopping. When will they EVER learn? The poose body is a temple and I plan to worship mine!


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the rath of zevo

Say goodbye to this birdie toy.......... i told you not to post that last picture.


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What earrings....Part II

There are you happy now Mizz Boo?

nubee the blog master jedi poose

Hidden Poose-cam at Casino Calamari..... brought to you by Planet Calamari

What earrings????????????

nicole........thank you so very much for asking me to sing back-up with you!!! i was honored. yes, i was a little drunk, and not quite on key, but you were so gracious about that!

i've been nursing this hangover since the party, but it was so worth it!!! sorry about your earrings.....i haven't a clue what happened to them.


Aussie Party at Casino Calamari a Hit!

I had a lovely time at the Aussie bash in honor of Steve last night. So many old friends to catch up with, Heath, Olivia, Baz, the entire cast from Moulin Rouge, Renee and of course the band Men at Work...

I was so honored that Zevo asked me to sing her favorite song.... Diamonds are a girl's best friend. It was so lovely that Lucy sent Boo fed-ex to the party as well. Such a pity Lucy will not stay on her meds. And what a treat to see Paris the poose as well. Last time I saw her she was doing the can can at the Moulin Rouge.

I did happen to lose my favorite earrings last night. ...oh well, I will just have Keith buy me more.


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Aussie Bash tonight at Casino Calamari

I cannot wear black one more day. I have run out of black Versace and Dolce Gabbana for the week. I will still wear a tiny black arm band under my kimono today and black Jimmy Choo shoes.

My "business" is still closed but we are throwing a small down-under themed get together tonight in honor of Steve at the Casino Calamari. However no crocodiles are invited. Last time they drank all the Fosters beer and ate some of the guests. Russel Crowe is not invited either. I will not elaborate on that story...horrid man. I do hope Nicole shows up, she has some great jewelry. Too bad Boo is stuck in San Diego being a good friend to Lucy who is off her meds again.

ciao ciao for now


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remembering the magic of steve

We are all still very sad about losing our friend Steve. Pooses around the globe are wearing black arm bands and lighting candles in honor of him.

Please take a moment today and shout "CRIKEY" up to the heavens.

zevo & boo & friends


The Dolphins Tribute to Steve Irwin

In Memory of Steve Irwin
So long...and thanks for all the fish!
We will miss you,
the dolphins

Please note that most pooses will be in mourning for another day or two. Most of the pooses in the wild as well as Zevo, Boo and Nubee are wearing black arm bands. All poose businesses are closed until Friday.


In Memory of Steve Irwin,
Friend to all Pooses

Please take a moment of silence for Steve Irwin...
our modern day Dr. Dolittle.

Animals and animal lovers will miss this great soul.
He was an inspiration to all who work and play with animals.

still waiting.....

I am still waiting for my demands to be met and for to fix their problems. My picture will not upload.. i am sure Lucy has something to do with this.

love and birdie toys


still waiting.....

I am still waiting for my demands to be met and for to fix their problems. My picture will not upload.. i am sure Lucy has something to do with this.

love and birdie toys



Zevo & Boo's Blog held hostage by Jedi

As blog-master of this domain i am holding this blog hostage until my demands are met. Bring me 5 new birdie toys, a six pack of Corona and an all you can eat mouse crepe buffet. Then i will go back to posting for you.

May the Force be with you,

nubee wan kenobi jedi poos

ps... And yes the Jedi DO drink Coronas once in awhile.


Boo celebrates her glitteratti-ness

Life it good. I am a celebrity.... la la la la
I wish my pet human would hurry up with those mouse crepes and another bottle of Kristol.
Lucy escaped from the Betty Ford Rehab and we are doing brunch today. I hid the tiara. Hopefully she will be back on her meds......

Sandra Bullock shunned by NCCAOM

By Princess Guacamole
Ole' Times of Southern California

Yes, to all of those who called in, the rumors you heard were correct. Although it was a very difficult decision, the NCCAOM did not choose Sandra Bullock to represent the organization. Rather, it chose Boo from Hillcrest, CA and Zevo Calamari from Salem, MA as the new Stars of NCCAOM. Many have called the national offices, suggeting that these noble souls be allowed to carry the Catnip Torch to the world. Our steering committee realizes that Zevo and Boo are the obvious choice to represent the NCCAOM to the public. Boo and Zevo are known by the papparazzi worldwide, and we have confidence that they will bring acupuncture and oriental medicine the respect it deserves. They are also eager to meet with Harvard Med this Halloween, and take Harvard Square by storm. They plan on dressing up as two very famous pirates, we have heard, and are going to be giving a talk at the alternative medical conference; their paper is entitled, "Rum as a Carrier for Chinese Herbs in Republican Qi/Shen/Jing/Blood/Brain Cell Vacuity Syndrome". Boo and Zevo ask that diplomates email them for a synopsis and free Catnip-Rum cookies.

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