Planet Calamari Zazzle shop


Friends and Family Celebrate Ted Kennedy's Life

BOSTON — Hundreds of cats and some dogs, swarmed into Boston yesterday to show their respect for Senator Edward Kennedy. All were wearing the formal dress uniform of the infamous Bite and Run Brigade, commanded by the Pooses for Peace. Marching in a peaceful fashion the animals surrounded the John F Kennedy Presidential Library and saluted as Senator Kennedy's casket was brought in. The cats took shifts in keeping a vigil around the clock.

The Pooses for Peace founders, Zevo Calamari, Miss Boo and Miss Lucy Fur all sobbing and wearing simple black Versace dresses without their signature tiaras carried embroidered hankies and flowers to the library.

The cats have been long time friends with Sen. Kennedy. They referred to him as Papa Lion. He has been known to help bail them out of jail, the Gitmo prison, and he has defended them many times from accusations made by George Bush and Homeland Security. When Kennedy became ill the cats stayed at his home in Cape Cod whenever possible to be with him. He enjoyed the stories of their adventures. They loved his wisdom and sense of humor. They were also good friends with his dogs Splash and Sunny. Rumor has it that Miss Boo postponed her Italian wedding to George Clooney to come back to the USA for the funeral.

Friends, relatives and political comrades, including Vice President Biden, are celebrating Sen. Edward Kennedy in an all-star Irish wake tonight. The cats promise to be on their best behavior.

Due to the security issue the cats will not be permitted to go to Washington for the burial. George Bush is terrified the cats will bite him again and he claims to be allergic to cats.

The Pooses for Peace have opted to hold their own tribute to Papa Lion at the Casino Calamari tomorrow night in Salem, just north of Boston.

In other Boston news, the Mayor of Salem was bit in her office today. The Mayor attended a meeting at City hall to discuss taking a parking lot in downtown Salem and turning it into a winter carnival with kiddie rides. The Mayor immediately recognized the pet humans of Zevo Calamari and excused herself from the meeting. Unconfirmed sources said the mayor was terrified that the couple had brought their cats to the meeting. When the Mayor ran back into her office to hide she was surprised by a Bite and Run attack.

Authorities cannot identify the cats as they ran off before cameras could capture their image. Zevo Calamari and her friends were in Boston mourning at the time of the attack. One of the city clerks claims she saw a tiny black cat wearing a witch hat and extra large black mittens on all four paws. Another clerk saw a cat wearing a jedi robe and carrying a light saber.

Mayor Driscoll is in stable condition and took the rest of the day off. Her charcoal grey suit is in critical condition.

In a statement released by the Mayor she said "AAAAchooooo! I just know that those wretched Pooses for Peace are behind this latest attack. And I do not appreciate that crazy acupuncturist who mocked the idea of having a carnival in the winter. The nerve of her demonstrating the sounds that came off a merry go round. Dam...where is my blackberry?"


Rest in Peace Ted Kennedy

Thank you for all you have done. We will miss you dearly.
The Pooses for Peace


Topaz Engagement Ring?.........

National Enquirer

Unconfirmed sources have report that Miss Boo, celebrity cat of the Pooses for Peace has been given a ring by George Clooney. No word if the ring is an engagement ring or just a gift for her birthday. The two were spotted snogging at a quaint bistro in Tuscany last night.

In other celebrity news Zevo Calamari and Miss Lucy Fur were seen with Donatella Versace shooting for the cover of Vogue's Fall issue. Rumors that Miss Boo will be modeling a wedding dress are spreading all over Italy.


poose-cam live from italy..........

gatti fotocamera da vivere italia
(poose-cam live from italy).

My dearest Boo... Cara mia....Happy Birthday ... You know I adore you...Will you.........

sounds of crashing...
"what the f*^&.... is the camera still on.. what did he say...... oh my god she is crying... quick anyone have a blackberry..............."

Happy Birthday Boo!

Ahhhh... leave it to our dear friend George Clooney to make sure that his sweetheart Miss Boo has a lovely birthday surprise! You are all invited to join us tonight at a small gathering at George's villa in Italy. Shhhhh it is a surprise. No need to bring anything. There will be lots of food, Strega, wine and limoncello

Will George propose to Boo? None of us know...

We lured Boo here with Donatella's help, by telling Boo she will be photographed for the cover of the fall issue of Vogue wearing the latest Versace couture. Of course it is true... but a it will be all of us will be featured on the cover of Vogue this fall.... Boo, Lucy Fur and me- the celebrity pooses of the Pooses for Peace.

The inside pages will also feature other famous Pooses for Peace members such as Cheysuli and all of her entourage, The Meezers, Miss Daisy, Mickey, Luna diPoosalita, Nubi wan Kenobi, Tao and Sarge, Monkay, Che Nikki.. and well way too many for us to mention or even html in.... (so sorry)

Please be on time. The party starts at 8pm.... See you there.
ciao ciao


John Mackey Victim of
a Whole-Body Bite & Run Attack


Hordes of cats dressed in Whole Foods aprons and Che Guevara berets stormed into the Whole Foods Headquarters today during a Board of Directors meeting. John Mackey along with several other greedy bastards members of the whole board were bit, poked and scratched. The board was meeting to discuss Mackey's blunder in revealing his true neo-con right wing colors in his op-ed column in The Wall Street Journal.

His statement read:"Health care is a service that we all need, but just like food and shelter it is best provided through voluntary and mutually beneficial market exchanges. A careful reading of both the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution will not reveal any intrinsic right to health care, food or shelter. That's because there isn't any. This "right" has never existed in America."

Mackey was taken to the hospital for bites on his ankles, knees and private parts only to be turned away at the ER. Unconfirmed sources believe the cats stole his ID and his insurance card and replaced them with a drivers license from Mexico with the name Juan Macarana. Mackey is now at the public clinic waiting to be being treated for bites and allergies. He is hoping to be looked at by a nurse practitioner in a few hours.

Some of the cats threw organic apples and left organic "droppings". A biohazard team was called into the Whole Foods building to rid the room of the stench, droppings and dander. Authorities believe the attack was the work of the Pooses for Peace Bite & Run Brigade. The cats are known for their liberal, socialist ties to the Obama administration.

Zevo hussein Calamari issued a statement today from an undisclosed location. " You should have been bit long ago for making your employees wear these hideous aprons. Healthcare, food and shelter are basic human rights....not that you pay most of your employees enough to afford such things! Oh and you can
take your organic overpriced food and shove it up your whole &%$@! "


Celebrating Steve Martin's Birthday!

It's Steve Martin's Birthday!
Casino Calamari

Special Guest Steve Martin and his Bluegrass Band

A Wild & Crazy time for all!

Friday 8/14/09
7:00pm -?
all you can eat buffett and open bar
cat nip brownies

get small with us tonight!
the pooses for peace & friends


Obama Honors Pooses for Peace
as Agents of Change at White House


America's first black president took a breather from the health care fight to honor the first Hispanic to be confirmed to the Supreme Court and others who have helped create change.

"There are many honors and privileges bestowed on the occupants of this house," the president said. "But few mean as much to me as the chance to award America's highest civilian medal to the recipients that are here today."

The honorees, some American and some not, represent "what we consider to be that most American of beliefs," Obama said, "that our lives are what we make of them, that no barriers of race, gender or physical infirmity can restrain the human spirit, and that the truest test of a person's life is what we do for one another."

White House aides said the recipients had effected or embodied noteworthy changes in society.

Some of the honorees also touched Obama on a deeply personal level:

Actor Sidney Poitier, whose breaking of race barriers on film began preparing America years ago for Obama. Archbishop Desmond Tutu, the South African opponent of apartheid. American civil rights leader the Rev. Joseph E. Lowery, co-founder of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference.

Also, Sen. Edward Kennedy, D-Mass., who was too debilitated from brain cancer to accept the award in person. Obama was tender with Kara Kennedy, who accepted on her father's behalf and struggled to keep her composure. Kennedy passed the Camelot torch to Obama last year with his endorsement, and for decades the liberal icon championed the health care overhaul that Obama is trying to push through Congress. Now the decline of JFK's last brother foreshadows the end of an era.

The infamous Pooses for Peace were given a special award for their bravery and valance in helping to bring awareness and change through the absurd past 8 years of King Chimpie W the Bush. Every member of the Bite Patrol and other patrols were given medals and kissed on the head by Michele Obama. The cats arrived 5 minutes before the ceremony. Rumor has it they were hiding out in Hawaii with Captain Jack Sparrow after a colonial vessel had been stolen from Salem MA a few weeks ago. The celebrity cats were wearing tiaras and Versace grass skirts.


the weather is here.. i wish you were beautiful...


ahhh... why didn't we run off to Hawaii sooner? We have been so happy to be here with our host, Captain Jack Sparrow and his mistress, Princess Guacamole. Yes... it is true some of us were quite put out that he had fallen for Her... but hey se la vie... or WhatEvrrrrrrr. So what if she is a princess who has inherited the Guacamole Valley.

Face it none of us stood a chance with him. Besides Miss Boo is still secretly dating George Clooney and Zevo is still chasing Keith Olbermann. (give it up and move on Zevo) I am still getting over breaking up with that wanker Royal Corgie. Bloody hell. I should have stayed with the 007 actor. I should have kept taking those meds too. Luna diPoosalita is still smitten with that white thumbed cat Monkay. We all think Nubi is gay, but we will pretend he is a Jedi.

Anyway.... these drinks with the little paper umbrellas are to die for. And sitting by the pool at the Princeville Resort flirting with the cute waiter boys is a blast. I hear there is a darling little gift shop that we may um... hit later after dinner, drinks and and karaoke.

Time for another pina colada... oh cabana boy....

miss lucy fur lucy fur


Land Ho!

The National Enquirer
Kauai Hawaii

Captain Jack Sparrow Seen with Drunk Pirate Cats

Reliable but unconfirmed sources report seeing a colonial vessel commanded by Captain Jack Sparrow with a crew of drunk cats in pirate costumes entering the waters of Kauai. Authorities are not certain if this is the missing ship that mysteriously vanished from the Salem MA Maritime Festival last weekend.

The FBI and Homeland Security are in pursuit of the lost ship and the pirates that stole it. Salem Mayor Kimberly Driscoll believes it is the work of her nemesis, the infamous group of celebrity cats known as The Pooses for Peace and their Bite & Run Brigades.

Zevo Calamari text messaged a statement to the press earlier today..."Mayor who? Yo ho yo ho....What ship? Um do you think this wench costume makes me look fat? Arrr arr arrr please pass the rum Captain dear..... "


Captain Jack Sparrow Seen on Missing Ship

Associated Press
Somewhere on the High Seas.....

US Costguards have reported spotting the missing colonial vessel known as the Kalmar Nyckel out on the high seas in route to Hawaii. The ship mysteriously vanished from the Salem Maritime festival sometime Sunday night.

Unconfirmed sources said that the Captain of the Coast Guard ship claims to have seen Captain Jack Sparrow along with several cats in pirate gear drinking rum and dancing on the ship. The Captain has been put on medical leave and is being watched carefully. Other crew members who wish to remain anonymous also claim to have seen cats in pirate costumes. However one reported seeing a cat dressed as a Jedi, but wearing a patch over his eye. Authorities are still not sure if this ship is the Kalmar Nyckel as the name painted on the vessel was The Calamari Nickelodeon.

Salem's Mayor Kimberley Driscoll wearing her trademark black suit released a statement early this morning. "I have no doubt that those wretched cats, the Pooses for Peace have something to do with this latest travesty that has taken place in my beloved city of Salem. We will find this missing ship and punish those who stole it. .... oh by the way did you hear that no one will be running against me in the next election?"


Colonial Ship Disappears in Salem

Associated Press
Salem MA

The colonial ship known as the Kalmar Nyckel has vanished from its docking space at Pickering Wharf, Salem MA. The ship was in town for the Salem Maritime Festival. Authorities are baffled at how the ship could mysteriously vanish in the middle of the night.

An inebriated man arrested for disturbing the peace early Sunday morning claims to have seen cats dressed as pirates boarding the ship and singing " yo ho yo ho a pirate's life for me..." Salem Mayor Kimberly Driscoll was on vacation when the incident occured.

A press conference from Pickering Wharf is scheduled for noon.