The National Enquirer
Kauai Hawaii
Captain Jack Sparrow Seen with Drunk Pirate Cats
Reliable but unconfirmed sources report seeing a colonial vessel commanded by Captain Jack Sparrow with a crew of drunk cats in pirate costumes entering the waters of Kauai. Authorities are not certain if this is the missing ship that mysteriously vanished from the Salem MA Maritime Festival last weekend.
The FBI and Homeland Security are in pursuit of the lost ship and the pirates that stole it. Salem Mayor Kimberly Driscoll believes it is the work of her nemesis, the infamous group of celebrity cats known as The Pooses for Peace and their Bite & Run Brigades.
Zevo Calamari text messaged a statement to the press earlier today..."Mayor who? Yo ho yo ho....What ship? Um do you think this wench costume makes me look fat? Arrr arr arrr please pass the rum Captain dear..... "
3 comments:
We are finally here in the land of rum and coconuts! Boo, where did you put my flip flops? The ones that match my tiara.
Let's hit the beach and then go hang out at the pool at the Princeville Resort. I hear Neil Young, Oprah and George are intown and can't go anywhere because of Hurricane Felicia which is due on Sunday. Batten down the hatches and pile on the rum!
Aloha,
Miss Lucy Fur
Rum and coconuts! Wow!!!
hmmmm...guess we can change into our parrothead grassskirts and coconut bra attire now....pass me another rum and coke please.
hurricane who?
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