Planet Calamari Zazzle shop

2008-05-23

CNN BREAKING NEWS

CNN BREAKING NEWS

Nancy Grace is the latest victim in a string of Bite & Run Attacks that have occurred in the past few days in major news studios. While rambling on in that whiney voice giving her legal opinion during today's show, hordes of cats dressed in black leather jackets descending upon her biting, scratching and spreading dander. CNN broke to a commercial as soon as she began screaming obscenities about the cats.

Miss Grace is in stable condition at an undisclosed hospital and heavily medicated with antihistamines. During the attack she seemed to have lost a pair of earrings, a Rolex watch and her Manolo shoes. Also during the Bite & Run Attack, another group of cats, dogs and skunks invaded CNN. This latest type of invasion is known as a Poop & Run Attack. CNN studios were closed for several hours and fumigated. Wolf Blitzer was seen walking barefoot to his limousine after his show. Authorities are baffled how the cats were able to pull off such an attack.

Zevo Calamari who is currently staying at the Kennedy Compound with her Pooses for Peace partners, Miss Boo and Miss Lucy Fur, was asked by reporters why Nancy Grace was attacked by her special forces. She responded "Who? What attack? What earrings? I am very busy and important and can't be bothered with annoying blonde whiney women who wear pantsuits........ Teddy, would you be a dear and please have one of your staff bring us over another martini?"

3 comments:

meemsnyc said...

Nancy Grace attacked by kitties would be funny. I find her annoying and rude to people.

Cheysuli and gemini said...

Excellent. I think a good bite and run patrol is a great way to memorialize Bonnie Underfoot. She was a feisty girl!

Now, should I be assassinated, please do not let Hillary weasel out of it. I know she'll be behind it.

ML said...

I love your post. That is so funny.
Thank you so much for the birthday wishes and for visiting our blog.

In memory of Miss Bonnie an the Day/ Weekend/ Holiday of HUGS, here’s ours to all of you:
*******hugs******* (KC)
*******hugs******* (Missy)
*******hugs******* (Faith)
*******hugs******* (Sol)
*******hugs******* (Smokey)
*******hugs******* (BJ)
*******hugs******* (Mommy ML)

Love, ML & The Sherwood Bunch