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Join the Bite & Run Patrol

Graduates of the Calamari Institute for Professional Biting

Looking for a a new career? The Calamari Institute for Professional Biting is now accepting applications for the Summer semester. Learn how to bite ankles, knees and other fun human parts. Study the art of covert biting. Our graduates have gone on to bite celebrities and many politicians, such as Ann Coulter, Dick Cheney, Nicole Richie, P Diddy, Karl Rove, Paris Hilton and others we are not permitted to mention (or admit to)

Be a part of the prestigious Bite & Run Patrol which has been making headline news. This summer our list of professors include Covert Operations Biter, Lucy Fur, best known for her biting debut with Dick Cheney and Dr Phil.

Also teaching celebrity biting will be Zevo Calamari and Miss Boo. Both are famous for biting Paris Hilton, Vanessa Paradis (wife of Johnny Depp), and Toby Keith and the whiney country chick with the red hair.

Other professors include Martial arts instructor Tao and her sidekick Sarge. Nubi wan Kenobi will be teaching Jedi theory on how to use the force during a bite attack.

Our guest professor for this semester, Monkay the thumbed cat will be teaching the fine art of picking locks and opening doors for speedy get-aways.

Hurry... operators are standing by. Call now to sign up before classes are filled. In a few months you to will be a part of THE BITE & RUN PATROL!

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Cheysuli and gemini said...

Do you have brush up classes and continuing ed for those of us who want to further our careers?

The Meezers said...

yes, are there refesher courses or advanced courses in the poot and run, poop and run or whap and run brigades?

Ailurophile said...

That's a pawesome list of instructors. Must be an honour to join such a prestigious group..hope all has been going well. Purrs and hugs to yo guys :)