Cat Fight at the Oscars?

Associated Press

Hollywood CA

Unconfirmed rumors are circulating through Tinsel Town today on why George Clooney looked so angry last night at the Oscars. Is George Clooney feuding with Alec Baldwin or did something else take place before the show began?

Clooney was thought to be engaged to celebrity feline Miss Boo, of the Pooses for Peace last year, however no one has confirmed if the couple had a tiff or separated. Last night Clooney showed up at the Oscars with Elilsabetta Canalis.

The Pooses for Peace Celebrity cats co-hosted the event along with Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin. Sources to terrified to be identified claim that when the cats realized Clooney was shunning Miss Boo by bringing a stink insect as a date, a cat fight ensued between Canalis and the Miss Lucy Fur, BFF to Miss Boo and Zevo Calamari. (Miss Lucy Fur is infamous for her temper. In the past restraining orders were filed against her by Dr Phil and a few republican pundits. She is said to be taking medication that is not effective when mixed with alcohol.)

Fortunately for Canalis, security (accustomed to celebrity fighting on the red carpet) broke up the fight and she had a spare gown in Clooney's limo. Her make up and hair was redone before the show. Her earrings are reported to be missing. Reports are being filed that celebrities who wore fur to the show were bit or scratched last night. No charges have been filed.

Last night Sandra Bullock lost her earrings. Other starlets are reporting lost bracelets, earrings and watches. Authorities are not concerned as most of the celebrities were drunk and dancing the night away. Anyone could have lost what they were wearing reported a security guard wearing what seemed to be a Jedi robe.

Pooses for Peace spokes-poose Zevo hussein Calamari was overheard this morning saying "Ooh my head..... ack ack the taste of stick insect is still in my mouth. um like.... What earrings? Pass that ginger ale please......... oh and watch where you step......... turn out the light too. Does this bracelet make me look fat?"