Planet Calamari Zazzle shop

2010-04-14

Boston Tea Party Bite & Run Attack





BREAKING NEWS


Boston MA..............Home of the Original Tea Party!

Former Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin and wolf murderer criticized the Obama administration and the liberal Snootie pants Congress today at a Tea Party rally on Boston Common, saying the government had been on a "spending spree" and warning of future tax increases.

During Palin's 21-minute you betcha ramblings about the facist, marxist take over by the communist liberals and their muslim leader President Obama, patriotic music played in the background. SUVs with yellow Support our Troops magnets surrounded the area. Flag pins were worn by all in a sea of those wearing red, white and blue.

As Palin was giving her final remarks, a horde of cats, dogs, skunks and possibly a wolf dressed in pirate regalia jumped on stage and into the crowd. Palin was heard screaming as far as the North End of Boston. "What the F*@K? Get off me you varmits. AHhhhhhhhh OUCH that hurts.. you betcha... TODD where the hell ar' ya?
AAAAAAAAAAAchoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo....Oh Lordy is that a wolf there yonder? Where the hell is my rifle?????? HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!"

Boston Police rushed to the scene but were not able to capture any of the so called perpetrators. Palin and several of her Tea Party devotees were rushed to a nearby hospital for bites, cuts, scratches and alleries. All are in stable condition but a few cats wearing nurses uniforms were seen running off with the patients' pain medication. Several of those at the rally have made reports about missing watches, iPhones and credit cards. Sarah Palin's glasses are also reported missing.

Authorities believe this is the work of the infamous liberal domestic terrorist known as the Pooses for Peace. Their headquarters are north of Boston in Salem, MA.

It is not the first time the cats and Sarah Palin have violent encounters. The cats have been accused of attacking Palin a few times while she was on the campaign with John McCain. The Pooses for Peace are also involved in protecting the wolves and keeping Palin off the Discovery Channel. (The cats also have an on going feud with Mayor Kim Driscoll of Salem.)

As of this time the Boston PD has not named the celebrity cats as suspects. Interpol claims that the cats are still in Paris, France celebrating Zevo hussein Calamari's birthday today at a party in the Louvre Museum.

There is speculation the cats involved in today's event could have been those who did not attend the party - or perhaps even a fringe group hired by the Pooses for Peace. Several people attending the event also claim to have seen a wolf roaming through the Boston Commons, however police believe it was possibly just a lost husky.

In other Boston and local news the wolf known as Osa a resident of the Ipswich Wolf Hollow reserve has been reported missing since this morning.

4 comments:

zevo hussein calamari said...

What a lovely birthday gift from all those Boston pooses who could not attend our party in Paris. I am so glad Nubi had the foresight to send them a shipment of tequila and listerine early this morning.
I cannot image the vile taste of hatred, stupidity and bigotry lingering in my mouth!

thank you for for the best birthday ever!

Cheysuli and gemini said...

The irony in the flavor should keep me going all year. After all, the original tea party was AGAINST big business, not run by it...

Miss Lucy Fur said...

Go Pooses, Go!!! I'm so annoyed..my pet humans have been taking care of that 3 year old short person they call "Grand daughter" and there's nothing grand about it!

I am left to get my own caviar and to mix my own drinks. I need to stay in Paris until she leaves!

Miss Lucy Fur

The Meezes or Billy said...

it's interesting that the tea party has no clue what the original tea party was about.

does this nurses uniform make my butt look big? - Miles