Planet Calamari Zazzle shop

2010-04-09

A Zevomas Tradition

Ciao Bella!

It's Friday and here we are at the Ritz Carlton! We are still waiting for more of our guests to arrive all week The real fun happens next week. I am sure we will find plenty to occupy our time for the next seven days. So many tourist attractions, shows and ankles to bite.

Since this is the second day of Zevomas i thought i would share how Zevo and i became best friends. I am sure many of you have heard this story... but it is tradition to tell it every year while sipping on expensive Champagne.

Zevo and her sister the Baby Pig were born in Escondido CA, under the bed of their pet human's dear friend Edie who was very ill. Their mother and aunt both gave birth the same night about 10 days before Edie passed away. The pet human already had 3 German Shepherds and 2 birds but decided to adopt Zevo (more like Zevo decided to adopt her!) and the Baby Pig walked up and sat on her lap- so she took both home with her.

A year later they left Escondido and moved to Hillcrest which is where my pet human and i live. (Her pet human and mine are friends. They met in acupuncture school... anyway that is beside the point! Ha! No pun intended!)

Zevo and her sister Baby Pig were working at The Bread & Cie Bakery. They were driving the truck and delivering bread. They hired a big white dog to help push the pedals on the truck. The bread was never delivered. They were all fired the first week. They went on to try other retail jobs. The Pig worked at a Cheese Shop and was fired for eating the profits. Zevo worked at Starbucks in Hillcrest and was accused of stealing tips and was "let go". She tried cutting hair for awhile but it was not a smart career choice for someone with paws. I am not sure what ever happened to the white dog.

One night they went to Hamburger Mary's for a few margaritas. I was there drowning my sorrows over losing my sequined flip flops at the beach that day. It was a warm summer night. Its a gay bar, so cats wearing tiaras drink for free. As fate would have it the magic of the margaritas took effect and by midnight we were all dancing on table tops and the bar. Of course, we immediately bonded under the influence of the Agave God and became the best of friends.

We also discovered that we were very good at "finding" expensive jewelry and other fine items that we were able to sell on the black market um, give away to charity. Thus began our reputation as cat burglars. Such an ugly phrase. We prefer to think of ourselves as modern day Robin Hoods... with tiaras.

I won't bore you with how we became celebrities and friends with Miss Lucy Fur, Madonna, Donatella, Johnny Depp, (bit his nasty French wife), arrested at the Vatican, dated George Clooney, met with Fidel Castro.... ... well i really don't want to brag so i will stop there.

Zevo and Baby Pig were forced moved to New England. Baby Pig who was the original founder for Pigs for Peace (now known as The Pooses for Peace) passed away a few years ago. We miss her dearly and her birthday would also be on Wednesday too. Before her passing they opened Brothel Calamari , Casino Calamari and Cinema Calamari. All successful businesses!

Zevo's pet humans thought she would be lonely so they adopted Nubi wan Kenobi. For the record she was not lonely and is still miffed they did not ask her permission. She tolerates him. They have since tricked Zevo and Nubi and adopted a kitty with thumbs and seven toes whose name is constantly changing. This week her name is Luna miso Poosie.. but we can't promise that it will stay that way.

This week will be the best birthday celebration ever. All pooses are welcome to stay with us at the Ritz. We have the entire hotel to ourselves and a few celebrities. We have invited Nicole Kidman, Ewin McGregor, Audrey Tautou, Gwyneth Paltrow, Johnny Depp and Oprah. (Unfortunately George Clooney is not invited since he has dumped me for a stink insect.) But ce la vie! His loss.

A pre-party will be held at our favorite Paris spot, the Moulin Rouge on Tuesday night. Nicole Kidman and Ewin McGregor will perform a bit from the movie Moulin Rouge. (and i am sure they will ask us to sing along!)

For all you who are attending the Birthday Gala at the The Louvre on Wednesday evening, Donatella Versace will be providing outfits for all. Shoes will be provided by Jimmy Choo, Prada and Manolo. You must bring your own tiaras and top hats.

Room service is here. Champagne anyone?
ciao for now
Miss Boo

1 comment:

Cheysuli and gemini said...

Now, how do I get off this arc?