Planet Calamari Zazzle shop

2010-04-20

Deja Vu.... Supreme Court Attacked Again!

CNN..... BREAKING NEWS.............. BITE & RUN ATTACK......... SUPREME COURT

The U.S. Supreme Court dealt animals a serious blow in upholding a court decision that invalidated the federal law banning the commercial sale of videos showing illegal and extreme acts of animal cruelty.


Only one justice, Samuel Alito dissented, noting that the majority has struck down "a valuable statute that was enacted not to suppress speech, but to prevent horrific acts of animal cruelty—in particular, the creation and commercial exploitation of crush videos, a form of depraved entertainment that has no social value."

Justice Alito explained that "the animals used in crush videos are living creatures that experience excruciating pain. Our society has long banned such cruelty, which is illegal throughout the country."
Alito was out numbered and the Supreme Court once again showed that its members have no compassion, common sense or even the ability to judge.

After the vote, Alito was said to go home to his cat and pet rat. The rest of the judges had a secret party in the back chambers to celebrate and began singing We Have the Power.

In an unexpected turn of events, a horde of cats , dogs, skunks, polar bears and a lone wolf all wearing Che hats, appeared out of nowhere and proceeded to attack every judge in the room. A monkey filmed the entire bite attack.

Security officers in the building heard screams coming from the room but thought the judges had hired hookers again to celebrate. By the time security guards decided to check on the judges, the animals had already disappeared from the building.

All justices suffered severe bite injuries. and scratches. A few had allergy attacks. One fainted at the sight of the polar bears while another screamed "Where is Sarah Palin and her rifle?... There is a wolf in here!" All were taken to an undisclosed hospital and given pain medication and antihistamines and are in stable condition. However later it was discovered that their medication had been replaced by Flintstone Vitamins. There are reports of a cat wearing scrubs and a tiara running down the halls of the hospital. All who attended the party are missing their iphones and watches.

A biohazard unit was brought in to remove the peculiar odor and puddles on the floor. Most o f the robes were burned as no stain remover on the planet could possible save them.

The video of the judges being attacked is now being sold and there are rumors that it will be posted on youtube soon.

Authorities have not named any suspects however it is believed this is the work of the liberal terrorist group known as the Pooses for Peace and their loyal legions of Bite & Run patrols. This is not the first time that the Supreme Court has been attacked by animals. The last attack took place when US Supreme Court justices who ruled that there would not be any campaign finance limits so that big corporations can take over the planet. A press conference will be held later tonight when more information is gathered.

Miss Zevo hussein Calamari, spokes-poose for the Pooses for Peace released a statement "Well who wants to buy this lovely new film we made? What iphones? Does this robe make me look fat? Ack pass the tequila.. the after -taste of stupidity, hatred and greed is so hard to get out of my mouth...ack ack............."

2 comments:

zevo hussein calamari said...

happy 4/20.... those polar bears brought some great nip for us
xoxoxoox

Cheysuli and gemini said...

I have to thank ALITO?! ALITO stood up for me? What is the world coming to?