Planet Calamari Zazzle shop


Security Beefed Up In Salem
Protecting The Friendship

Associated Press
Salem MA

On the eve of Talk Like A Pirate Day , Salem's Mayor Kim Driscoll has requested the city of Boston for extra police coverage for the tall ship known as The Friendship. (Salem police were too busy guarding manholes on Highland Ave this weekend to protect the ship.)

Driscoll and city officials are worried that the domestic terrorist cats known as the Pooses for Peace may commandeer the ship (again) along with their BFF, Captain Jack Sparrow. The shipped disappeared last year and the pirate cats were blamed, although no proof was found.

The cats are Pastafarians, devotees of the Flying Spaghetti Monster . Talk Like A Pirate Day is a Pastafarian Holy day and all those who worship the Noodley deity must wear pirate regalia, eat pasta and drink rum or red wine.

Last year the cats and Captain Jack Sparrow walked in the Haunted Happenings Parade causing an uproar and much needed excitement during the boring parade. Driscoll has declared that this year she will not be upstaged (again) by the cats. No word if they have decided to be in this year's parade.

Zevo hussein Calamari, mayor of Wee Salem issued a statement " Um... like... Kim who? What ship? Does this pirate hat make me look fat? Pass the rum... arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh"


Anonymous said...

Shiver me timbers we hope that pirate day goes well.We are hoping Miss Boo will use her disposable cell phone and text her location ASAP.
We hope all is well-will write soon.
Che Nikki

Cheysuli and gemini said...

Um.. how could she NOT be upstaged?