The Poose Vampire Ball Tonight!

Salem MA

Hordes of cats, dogs and celebrities have been seen wandering through Salem, MA in anticipation of the annual Poose Vampire Ball held at the haunted Hawthorne Hotel tonight. (not to be confused with The Annual Pooses for Peace Halloween Ball which is held on Halloween Night at the Casino Calamari) All those who attending tonight's gala must wear a vampire costume. Many cats have had their teeth sharpened for the event.

This event is invitation only. Invitees are picked by the celebrity cats known as the Gatti della Strega (the Witch Cats). A few years ago the mayor of Salem was said to have fainted while at the ball, at the sight of Captain Jack Sparrow and claims her earrings were stolen by the cats. The cats and the mayor have been feuding since that event.

Rumors that the cast of Dark Shadows, the cast from Twilight will attend, as well as Anne Rice, Stephen King, the cast of the old BEWITCHED TV series and the new movie. Brad Pitt with-out scary Angelina & the wretched kids.

Rumors are flying that George Clooney will attend in hopes to find the missing Miss Boo and apologize. Clooney dumped Miss Boo for a stick insect underwear model. Boo fled the country and is now MIA. Unconfirmed sources believe Miss Boo is in Salem and has been wearing a disguise and is now dating Captain Jack Sparrow.

Once again, this year the mayor of Salem Kim Driscoll was not invited to the ball. When asked why the mayor was snubbed, Spokes-poose Zevo Hussein Calamari replied "She can go hang out at that tacky carnival in her black suit with those carnies that she forced on the city of Salem. Tomorrow evening she can watch the$20,000 light show over the wrecking yard."

The mayor of Salem has brought in extra security for this event and has issued a warning to all residents to keep all valuable jewelry in a safe deposit box for the weekend. "Those cats are a menace to society. My carnival provides family friendly entertainment and the Fiesta Show people are just the salt of the earth. Not to mention they contribute to my campaign fund It really does take that much away from the other local businesses and food vendors who work so hard all year round. We all need more fried dough in our diet."

Samantha's Costume shop in Salem and the new Calamari Costume Shop of Wee Salem has reported that the top selling costume for female cats is the Miss Boo ensemble along with the Cheysuli Presidential costume. For younger male cats, the "Nubi wan Kenobi Jedi "costume has been flying off the racks. Other costumes such as Bite & Run jackets, Poop & Run jackets and Poot & Run jackets seem to be very popular this year with many of the cat tourists.

More security will be brought into Salem tomorrow night where 100,000 cats, dogs and skunks are expected to roam the city. The Pooses for Peace will hold their annual Halloween Ball tomorrow evening at the famed Casino Calamari located in Wee Salem.