Planet Calamari Zazzle shop

2008-09-04

NEWS ALERT... BREAKING NEWS FROM THE REPUBLICAN CONVENTION..............

CNN
THIS BREAKING NEWS JUST IN....

Sarah Palin, VP nominee along with several other prominent republicans have just been attacked by what appears to be a pack of cats wearing "Save the Polar Bears" t-shirts under leather jackets. Some wore tiaras. One was in a Jedi robe carrying a light saber.

During the Bite & Run there were also cats, dogs and some wolves leading Whap & Run brigades, Poot & Run patrols and and the most appalling of all .... the Poop & Run teams stormed the convention hall.

Delegates fled the convention gagging. Cindy McCain's designer yellow shoes had to be thrown away. Secret service protected John McCain from an attack but he was seen having a temper tantrum after it. (After all, incase you have not heard by now, he was a POW.)

Unconfirmed witnesses also claim to have seen Bullwinkle Moose and Rocket J Squirrel with the cats. An inebriated delegate who wished to remain anonymous claims to also have seen Dino the dinosaur, from the Flintstones running with the cats. He also saw a dog in drag wearing fishnets and a glitter tee that said "save the wolves" who claimed to be Mike Huckabee's ex-bird dog.

The attack came unexpectedly while Palin was delivering her speech and stressing the importance of educating our youth that the earth is flat and this should be taught in schools.

She was about to give her recipe for moose and wolf stew when the cats appeared from nowhere and attacked. Palin was rushed to an undisclosed hospital and is in stable condition. Unlike other Bite & Runs, Palin did not loose any jewelry. Tom Delay did lose his toupee.

Karl Rove aka "turd blossom" was also attacked especially hard by the Poop & Run patrol. He blamed the liberal media for making the cats, known as the Pooses for Peace, celebrities and planning this commotion. He is also in stable condition but lost his blackberry in the attack. His shoes and suit had to be burned.

Crews are now at the scene of the attack lighting incense and fumigating the hall.

Extra security such as BLACKWATER was hired to be on the look-out for an attack by the cats. Authorities are baffled how they were able to pull off such a stunt. No cats were captured or arrested. Security cameras were turned off during the attack, thus there is no evidence at this time.

Spokes-poose Zevo Hussein Calamari issued a statement via satellite : " Bleeeee eeeeew uck..... cough.. what Bite and Run? ack ack ....hand me that tequila would you please. Who would vote for a gun toting woman that wears Wal-mart plastic bangles? ack ack... more tequila please."


Stay tuned to CNN for more coverage at the Republican Convention.
Coming up next... Bristol Palin gets mommy lessons from Britney Spears.

6 comments:

The Meezers said...

hey, someone named W keeps texting me on my blackberry wanting to know "do we have any evidence YET on Hill and Bill that we could use to send them to jail?". - Miles

WHEW, ME feels so much less bloated now! - Billy

Cheysuli and gemini said...

You guys do go above and beyond. I'm giving you an official presidential commendation once I get elected. I could never have brought myself to get close to that horrid, vapid, creature they have as a VP. (Calling her a woman is far too nice).

Daisy said...

Woohoo! I bited HARD! I hope she will stop the practice of "denning" right away.

Lux said...

I did, too, and I confess, did a little scratching also ...

Derby said...

WTG! Keep up the good work.

Cats said...

Wow that was some attack ~ pooses for peace are pawesome!