Planet Calamari Zazzle shop

2009-06-03

President Obama to Give Commencement Speech!


The Calamari Institute of Professional Biting is proud to announce that this year's commencement speech will be delivered by President Obama. The Pooses for Peace and their legions of brigades helped Obama win the presidency. He has remained a loyal friend to the cats. Many believe the cats are now advisors to the White House.

Graduation will take place this Saturday at the campus. A party will follow that evening at the Casino Calamari

For security purposes, the location of this fine university has always been kept a secret. The Secret Service will be present at this event, but are not worried that any wingnut protesters or paparazzi will be able to find the hidden school. Only the cats, dogs and skunks who attended the school or are part of the Pooses for Peace brigades will be allowed in.

The Institute also known as Bite U teaches how to bite ankles, knees and other fun human parts. Accelerated classes include the art of covert biting. Many of the graduates have gone on to bite celebrities and many politicians, such as Mike Huckabee, Mittens Romney, Ann Coulter, Dick Cheney, The Bush twins, Nicole Richie, P Diddy, Karl Rove, Paris Hilton, Dr Phil and countless others.

Unconfirmed sources claim that Bo the First Dog will be among the graduates and will be presented as an honored member of the Pooses for Peace Bite & Run Brigade.

The graduation party details will be announced later this week.

On another note... Miss Zevo Calamari has issued a statement"We regret that we have not been able to visit many other blogs and leave comments. Our pet human still owns a dinosaur mac. We hope that soon part of the government bail out money can be sent to acupuncturists who need new macs! Oh do you think this graduation gown makes me look fat? Pass me that flask please........"

1 comment:

Toni said...

Oh, and for all past graduates, you may wear a French cloche instead of a standard "cap". Gowns, of course, will be provided by our dear friend Donatella.