Planet Calamari Zazzle shop




This just in from Salem MA! The celebrity cat known as Zevo Hussein Calamari has announced she will run for mayor of Salem tomorrow against Mayor Kimberly Driscoll. Driscoll is running unopposed and Miss Calamari will only win if enough voters write her in on the ballot. Mayor Driscoll and Miss Calamari have had several run ins in the past. (too numerous to name!)

Zevo Hussein Calamari and her cohorts Miss Boo and Miss Lucy Fur are the liberal founders of the domestic terrorist organization known as the Pooses for Peace. This so called peaceful operation has legions of Bite & Run brigades who have bit several right wing politicians, celebrities who wear fur and political pundints in the past. Among those who have been bit are Dick Cheney, Ann Coulter, Karl Rove, Lindsey Lohan, P.Diddy, most of the Bush administration as well as Sarah Palin. The list of those attacked is too long for our FOX news crew to remember.

The cats also own several businesses that bring revenue into the city of Salem as well as San Diego where Miss Calamari was born. Unconfirmed sources believe they own Brothel Calamari, Casino Calamari, Cinema Calamari and will be opening an all you can eat spaghetti bar soon. They are also devout Pastafarians, heathens who worship the deity know as The Flying Spaghetti Monster.

It is our belief that these terrorist cats are working undercover for the Obama administration. They were part of the grass roots organization to help get him elected. They are also friends with several liberal Hollywood stars such as Oprah, George Clooney, Jon Stewart and David Letterman. The cats were also very close to the late Ted Kennedy who bailed them out of Gitmo a few years ago for partying with Fidel Castro.

We at FOX News will keep you posted as the situation develops.

Next up.... Sarah Palin takes on socialist cats in America!


Cheysuli and gemini said...

I shall be announcing on whatever news channel will have me that I have endorsed Zevo as a candidate. I shall bring all my political might to bear on this cause. All three or four followers of them....

Anonymous said...

Fox, get over your "Balanced" news. Zevo might be a biter, but come on: is it really terrorism to bite people who deserve it? She would be a great Mayor! Just look at her platform! Balanced? Blah!

Zevo for Mayor!!!!!

boo said...

i've convinced george to donate to her campaign.

Anonymous said...

I think we should hook up Mayor Driscoll with Glenn Beck!!How is that for fair and balanced!

The Meezers said...

whap and run and poot and run brigades will be out all night caterwauling their support.