Zevo Calamari Demands Recount!
Zevo hussein Calamari the write in candidate running for Mayor of Salem is demanding a recount of yesterday's vote.
According to Miss Calamari thousands of cats, dogs and skunks came out to vote and were turned away at the polls.
"This is exactly the same thing that happened to presidential candidate Cheysuli . This is discrimination. We are being treated like...like.. animals! The nerve. Oh do i look fat holding this blackberry? Pass me some of that tequila please. "
In other Salem news, Mayor Kimberley Driscoll and her $20,000 raise held a victory party at the Hawthorne Hotel. Extra security was posted around the premises to protect the mayor and her black suit from another Bite & Run attack. Unconfirmed sources claim the mayor wore ankle and knee guards under her suit. Her new blackberry is reported missing.