DES MOINES, Iowa
On Friday, Iowa Congressman Steve King announced that terrorists would celebrate if Democratic candidate Barack Obama won the presidency.
King, a Republican, bases his prediction on Obama's pledge to pull troops out of Iraq, his Kenyan heritage and his middle name Hussein. The congressman added "They'll be dancing in the streets because of his middle name, they'll be dancing in the streets because of who his father was."
Yesterday during a radio talk show Congressman King was attacked and bit by several cats wearing black leather jackets and tiaras. One cat was wearing a jedi robe and swinging a light saber. Unconfirmed sources claim to have seen Mike Huckabee's ex dog, Dude wearing fishnets and a sequined t-shirt that said DANCE, running off with the cats.
Congressman King is listed in stable condition at an undisclosed location. The bite marks however formed a permanent scar that reads 1-20-09 Let's Dance!
Authorities have no leads on who the cats are. However we believe it is the work of the infamous Pooses for Peace Bite & Run Brigade. Members of this brigade have all changed their middle names to Hussein to show solidarity. Is this proof they are muslim cats? We at Fox News, a fair and balanced source of all information are sure they are.
Spokes-poose Zevo Hussein Calamari issued a statement this morning. "Congressman King is a buffoon and a bigot. He is absolutely wrong that the terrorists will dance in the streets on 1-20-09. If they did .... that means you could actually find them. No, Congressman King, it will be the citizens of this country who will be dancing in the streets when the Chimp-Decider and his gang of thugs are booted out of Washington. We invite everyone to dance with us on 1-20-09!"