Planet Calamari Zazzle shop

2009-01-10

White House Beefs Up Security

Associated Press
Washington DC

The White House has increased its security for the final ten days of George W Bush's presidency. Extra secret service, swat teams and undercover agents have been brought in to be on guard of a possible last Bite & Run attack by the infamous Pooses for Peace. The celebrity cats have been on Homeland Security's list of wanted terrorists for some time now, and a menace to the Bush administration.

In the last four years the cats have allegedly lead attacks on Donald Rumsfield, Condi Rice, Karl Rove, Dick Cheney, Laura Bush and the Bush twins, most of the Republicans in the House and Senate and several FOX NEWS anchors. In all instances there was not enough proof to hold the cats on charges. Senator Kennedy has bailed the cats out of jail more than once after Homeland Security arrested them.

The cats are rumored to be coming to Barack Obama's inauguration via a personal invitation from the president-elect himself. Miss Lucy Fur is BFF with Oprah and the cats will be at her gala event. No word if George Clooney will be escorting Miss Boo to the ball. Zevo Calamari will be attending with her roomie, Jedi cat, Nubi wan Kenobi. Other members of the Pooses for Peace and the Bite & Run brigades are also invited. All will be staying as guests of Oprah. Donatella Versace has will be designing couture for the cats to wear.

Zevo Calamari issued a statement today in regards to the potential Bite & Run attack predicted in the next week.: " What attack? There is not enough tequila on the planet to go in and bite that chimp and his cronies. Oh.. do you think the blue strapless Versace makes me look fat? Have you heard that Keith Olbermann will be there? Should i wear blue or silver Jimmy Choos? Pass me that flask please.............."

7 comments:

meemsnyc said...

Ooooh beefed up security eh? If only cats could attack the white house!

Lux said...

I like your statement, Zevo. Deny, deny, deny ... :)

Toni said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Boo said...

I'm too busy with mani, pedi, hair, dress fittings and lunches with George to bother biting that disgusting Chimp. Besides, I don't want bad breath for the inauguration.

But I LOVE the fact that they're worried....

Black Cat said...

Wow, they must be running scairt at the White House, hee hee! Blue with silver accents... Best of both worlds, eh? :) xxx

Cheysuli and gemini said...

Nubi simply must come as my person body guard and I of course, as a chief contender in the presidential race will be there...

Daisy said...

Oh! I just realized! Will you still need the Pooses for Peace after Jan. 20? Biting and Running is one of my favorite activities. I would hate to give it up.