Happy Halloween To All

Wishing you a happy Halloween and Blessed Samhain!

You are invited to the Pooses for Peace Halloween Ball
Casino Calamari
8:00 pm- ?
All you can eat spookilee-delicious buffet
Spooktini Fountin
Nip Brownies

Special Guests
The Rocky Horror Show Cast
Dr Bombay from Bewitched

The Poose Vampire Ball Tonight!

Salem MA

Hordes of cats, dogs and celebrities have been seen wandering through Salem, MA in anticipation of the annual Poose Vampire Ball held at the haunted Hawthorne Hotel tonight. (not to be confused with The Annual Pooses for Peace Halloween Ball which is held on Halloween Night at the Casino Calamari) All those who attending tonight's gala must wear a vampire costume. Many cats have had their teeth sharpened for the event.

This event is invitation only. Invitees are picked by the celebrity cats known as the Gatti della Strega (the Witch Cats). A few years ago the mayor of Salem was said to have fainted while at the ball, at the sight of Captain Jack Sparrow and claims her earrings were stolen by the cats. The cats and the mayor have been feuding since that event.

Rumors that the cast of Dark Shadows, the cast from Twilight will attend, as well as Anne Rice, Stephen King, the cast of the old BEWITCHED TV series and the new movie. Brad Pitt with-out scary Angelina & the wretched kids.

Rumors are flying that George Clooney will attend in hopes to find the missing Miss Boo and apologize. Clooney dumped Miss Boo for a stick insect underwear model. Boo fled the country and is now MIA. Unconfirmed sources believe Miss Boo is in Salem and has been wearing a disguise and is now dating Captain Jack Sparrow.

Once again, this year the mayor of Salem Kim Driscoll was not invited to the ball. When asked why the mayor was snubbed, Spokes-poose Zevo Hussein Calamari replied "She can go hang out at that tacky carnival in her black suit with those carnies that she forced on the city of Salem. Tomorrow evening she can watch the$20,000 light show over the wrecking yard."

The mayor of Salem has brought in extra security for this event and has issued a warning to all residents to keep all valuable jewelry in a safe deposit box for the weekend. "Those cats are a menace to society. My carnival provides family friendly entertainment and the Fiesta Show people are just the salt of the earth. Not to mention they contribute to my campaign fund It really does take that much away from the other local businesses and food vendors who work so hard all year round. We all need more fried dough in our diet."

Samantha's Costume shop in Salem and the new Calamari Costume Shop of Wee Salem has reported that the top selling costume for female cats is the Miss Boo ensemble along with the Cheysuli Presidential costume. For younger male cats, the "Nubi wan Kenobi Jedi "costume has been flying off the racks. Other costumes such as Bite & Run jackets, Poop & Run jackets and Poot & Run jackets seem to be very popular this year with many of the cat tourists.

More security will be brought into Salem tomorrow night where 100,000 cats, dogs and skunks are expected to roam the city. The Pooses for Peace will hold their annual Halloween Ball tomorrow evening at the famed Casino Calamari located in Wee Salem.

Strega Zevo Calamari Reads the Cards

Wee Salem Haunted Happenings Event

Strega cat Zevo Calamari will be doing tarot readings all week at the Casino Calamari.

Nubi wan Kenobi will be giving Ghost Tours all week through out Salem.

Luna Miso Poosie and Che Nikki will be telling Ghost stories at the House of Seven Gables.

Miss Lucy Fur and Miss Boo um a few unknown cats will be performing the Pirates of Pennzance on the tallship the Friendship on Friday and Saturday evening.

Monkay the thumbed poose with be performing Houdini's tricks at the Casino Calamari at the Pooses for Peace Halloween Ball.

Saturday evening:
The Vampire Poose Ball
Hawthorne Hotel Salem MA
8pm-?
Wear and sharpen your own fangs
Formal vamp attire please

Sunday Halloween:
The Pooses for Peace Halloween Ball
By invite only
Casino Calamari
Special guests :
Dr Bombay
The Rocky Horror Show folks

New Costume Shop Opens in Wee Salem

Wee Salem MA

Another new business has sprung up in the Wee Salem District owned and run by the celebrity cats known as the Pooses for Peace. The cats known for their entrepreneurial talents had the grand opening of The Calamari Costume Shop, right in time for the Halloween season this evening. A party will be held at the Casino Calamari tonight to jump start the Halloween week. Scores of celebrities and hordes of cats have been seen strolling through Salem into Wee Salem all day.

Mayor Zevo hussein Calamari along with friends Miss Lucy Fur, Nubi wan Kenobi, Che Nikki, Monkay and Luna Miso Poosie and an unknown cat in costume celebrated their new enterprise by drinking shots of Strega while cutting the ribbon. Rumors are circulating that the unknown cat is the missing Miss Boo.

Unlike normal costume shops, this unique store offers costumes for cats, dogs, skunks and even humans. This year's best seller is the Miss Boo costume which comes with a Miss Boo Mask, an emerald tiara, Jimmy Choo shoes and Versace strapless gown. Another popular Miss Boo costume include a Miss Boo mask, a pirate hat, wench dress, and bottle of rum. Unconfirmed sources believe many cats will dress as Miss Boo this Halloween so that the real Miss Boo can go undetected in Salem. Boo is currently wanted by the FBI, CIA and Homeland Security. Authorities have not been able to pinpoint her where abouts but believe she marched in the Haunted Happenings Parade with her cohorts and her new lover, Captain Jack Sparrow.

"Costumes of celebrity cats such as Cheysuli, The Meezer Boys, Jedi Nubi wan kenobi have been very popular as well." said Luna Miso Poosie, who has been promoted to sales manager of the shop. "Our least popular is the Mayor Kim Driscoll costume which includes an ill fitting black suit, black wig, black clunky shoes, a clipboard and a chainsaw."

No tax will be charged on goods sold since the store resides in the Wee Salem, (which has been declared the 51 state by the cats after seceding from the city of Salem and the Commonwealth of MA.) The cats also own Casino Calamari, Cinema Calamari, The Holy Spaghetti Factory and a sushi bar. All are located in the Wee Salem borders.

X-Files Agnets Mulder & Scully Spotted in Salem MA

Associated Press
Salem MA

Less than a week ago the small city of Salem MA experienced what is believed to be a UFO close encounter over the Haunted Happenings Parade. Several witnesses believe it was the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Salem has a few devotees of this so called pasta God. They are known as pastafarians. The infamous Pooses for Peace are believed to be part of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and were in the parade when the FSM appeared.

Mayor Driscoll blames the celebrity cats for inviting the FSM to the event and upsetting the warm fuzzy family atmosphere of the parade. CIA, FBI and NASA agents are still investigating the event. Agents have been seen dining at In A Pig's Eye and the Lobster Shanty all week. Others have been spotted having tarot readings at the Oracle Chamber and Laurie Cabot's shop. Mayor Driscoll has been seen every night at Cafe Verona ordering pasta dishes. We can only hope she has an extra black suit in a larger size if this continues.

The US government has issued a statement. "There is no such thing as UFOs or a Flying Spaghetti Monster. We are certain it was a weather balloon passing over the parade.

Fox Mulder and partner Dana Scully refused to comment on the possibility that Salem has been over run by aliens. Fox was over heard saying "I want to believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Where can we get a good plate of pasta in this town?"

No word if the wanted feline Miss Boo was in the parade along with the celebrity cats and Jack Sparrow. A familiar looking cat wearing a blonde wig, sunglasses and an emerald tiara was seen cuddling with Capt Jack Sparrow. When spokes-poose Zevo Calamari was asked if Boo was in Salem for the holiday her response was "Boo who? Does this pirate hat make me look fat. Check out these phone numbers in this iphone i found......... pass me a shot of Strega darlin'...."

BREAKING NEWS FROM SALEM MA.....ALERT......

BREAKING NEWS LIVE FROM SALEM MA ....... This just in.... Commotion and chaos in progress at the Haunted Happenings Parade. Reports of a UFO hovering over the parade dripping spaghetti sauce. Authorities are now at the scene.

Unconfirmed sources believe it is the Flying Spaghetti Monster and was invited by its devotees, the Pooses for Peace who appeared in tonight's parade mysteriously along with several celebrities and Captain Jack Sparrow.

A Press Conference will be held as soon as order has been restored and the crowds dispersed. Mayor Kim Driscoll has reportedly been touched by the Noodley being and her suit is in stable condition with sauce stains.

Stay tune for updates live from Salem. This portion of your local news has been brought to you by Ragu Sauce.

City of Salem Issues Warning For Haunted Happenings Parade

Salem MA

The City of Salem just put out a red alert warning for Thursday night's Haunted Happenings Parade. Authorities are concerned that the city has been unusually quite this week. The so called domestic terrorist group (named by authorities) known as the Pooses for Peace are nowhere to be seen in Salem. In fact since the Friendship disappeared - then mysteriously reappeared with a note and a bottle of rum- nobody has since seen the cats. Unconfirmed sources believe the cats are on a tropical island with Captain Jack Sparrow along with the missing Miss Boo, who is wanted by the FBI, CIA, Homeland Security and Interpol.

In the past years celebrities and hordes of cats poured into Salem the week of the parade to march with the celebrity cats known as The Pooses for Peace. This boosted business for every cafe, bar and restaurant in the area and Salem's economy. Celebrities such as Nicole Kidman, George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Oprah, Cher and countless others marched in the parade with the cats and their BFF Captain Jack Sparrow. Later paparazzi and celebrities were seen at local hotspots, shops and having their palms read.

However, every year the cats have been accused of causing a disturbance. mayhem and unpredictable chaos. Reports of missing watches, earrings and iPods increased during each parade. The cats have been a thorn in Mayor Kim Driscoll's side ever since she tried to upstage the cats at the parade. (However she has yet to succeed.)
If you don't remember here are the links!
parade 2007 click here for memories of 2007 parade!
parade 2008 click here if you forgot about 2008's parade!
parade 2009 click here if you forget 2009

Authorities are worried the cats and their legions of Bite & Run, Poot & Run, Whap & Run and Poop & Run Patrols may make a surprise appearance at the parade on Thursday and cause a rukus. Unconfirmed sources believe that Mayor Driscoll is afraid that the deity known as the Flying Spaghetti Monster will appear at the parade again thus causing her ill fitting black suit to once again be covered in red sauce.

Mayor Driscoll issued a statement: "These cats are a menace to society. They will not rain on my parade. Oh...and I am BFF with Captain Jack Sparrow- he will be with ME this Friday night as I lead the wretched children of Salem around town for free candy. I am craving pasta can someone deliver a plate of spaghetti to City Hall for lunch?"

A video of spokespoose Zevo hussein Calamari was broadcast today with her statement. "Kim who? Jack darlin' could you pour us more rum dear? Does this pirate hat make me look fat?"

Boston Police and Top Secret Air Force officials have been called in case they are needed. Still- nobody seems to know if the cats and their cohorts will even show up.