Salem Mayor Driscoll calls emergency meeting
An emergency city council meeting was called by Mayor Kimberly Driscoll early Saturday morning to discuss the huge influx of celebrities and drunk cats flooding the streets of Salem following Boston's Gay Pride Parade. A vote will be taken on whether to ask for back up police from Boston. Riot police may be called in as well.
Mayor Driscoll has had several encounters with the celebrity brat pack of cats who are rumored to own Hamburger Mary's, Casino Calamari and Cinema Calamari. Unconfirmed sources claim that they also own Brothel Calamari, however authorities have not been able to locate the exact location.
The mayor has attended several of the parties hosted by the so called Pooses for Peace. She claims that although she had fun, she always seems to lose her earrings at these events. Last summer she accused Zevo Calamari for stealing her earrings and her cellphone, but later was forced to apologize when the suspect turned out to be Barney Bush.
Read more about the mayor's earrings at zevo archives
No comment has been made if the mayor will attend the Nubi wan Kenobi party today at Hamburger Mary's. The mayor is up for re-election and has asked for a $10,000 raise. ...and that could buy lots of earrings.....
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