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happy halloween

Happy Halloween or Samhain as we say in Salem, MA ...the black cat capital of the world!
Here is Salem, cats are known as familars when they live with a witch, so we are very popular bunch of pooses!

Tonight is the Halloween Poose Ball. Hoping to see all our celebrity friends Johnny, George, Nicole,Tim, Oprah, The Dixie Chicks, etc..... (and looking forward to scoring some cool earrings!)
ciao for now
zevo & boo & lucy

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ghost of lucille ball's cat

The ghost of Lucille Ball's cat was seen in Hillcest, CA this past Halloween eve. The Ghost Buster team was called in from Salem MA to investigate this para-normal poose event.
Poose-cam live from Hillcrest, CA By Planet Calamari

Ghost Pooses of Salem

The Ghost Buster team was sent into Salem last evening to investigate poose ghost sightings at the House of the Seven Gables. Details of this para-normal event are still sketchy at this hour.
Madame Zevo Calamari of the Poose Ghost Tours of Salem claim these ghosts seen are the pooses of Nathaniel Hawthorne.

boooooo!!!!!!! boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!


Poose Psychic Faire in Salem, MA

Madame Zevo Calamari reading the tarot at the Poose Psychic Faire today in Salem.

"I see tuna in your future, a new birdie toy and a bag of cat nip...."

Mayor loses earrings at Poose Vampire Ball


AP Salem, MA
Mayor Driscoll arrived at last night's Poose Vampire Ball wearing a lovely pair of diamond earrings and matching bracelet. Driscoll seemed in good spirits and was said to have a wonderful time most of the night.

After dancing the Time Warp with the cast of the Rocky Horror Show and friends of Zevo Calamari's she was heard screaming "Where are my earrings??????"
Zevo Calamari could not be reached for comments this morning.

Poose-cam live from Salem, MA brought to you by Planet Calamari


Pooses do the Time Warp

Unconfirmed sources have reported an influx of hundreds of pooses entering Salem last night and this morning planning to attend the Annual Poose Vampire Ball.

The original cast members of The Rocky Horror Picture Show have rented the gymnasium of Salem High school today to teach pooses the proper way to dance the Time Warp. The ball begins at 9pm at the Hawthorne Hotel and it is by invitation only. The mayor of Salem has brought in extra security for this event. Hosts, Zevo, Boo and Lucy have assured the mayor that it will be a peaceful event for all and even invited Mayor Driscoll to attend.
So far the mayor could not be reached for comment.

Poose-cam live from Salem by Planet Calamari


Poose Vampire Ball

Hordes of pooses and celebrities have been seen wandering through Salem, MA in anticipation of the annual Poose Vampire Ball held at the haunted Hawthorne Hotel this Saturday night. Rumors that the cast of Dark Shadows, the original cast from The Rocky Horror Show will attend, as well as Anne Rice, Stephen King, Brad Pitt with out Angelina & kids, and Tim Burton.

The mayor of Salem has issued a warning to all residents to keep all valuable jewelry in a safe deposit box for the weekend.


Dr Phil is hurt by nasty comment

Miss Lucy,

I am shocked at your comments. I do NOT give out carrots and celery for Halloween. And I am quite hurt that I am not invited to your poose party.

By the way, how about coming on my show and starting a cat fight next week with Naomi Cambell? Think about it.. my people will call your people.

I forgive you,
Dr Phil


Madonna loses earrings on Oprah...

Honey........ I think you forgot to give me back the earrings you "borrowed" while we were taping the Oprah Show.

If I can fix this adopted poose-baby mess by the weekend I will be at Zevo's Halloween Bash.
(You can return those earrings then.)

Thanks luv,


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happy national acupuncture day

And now a commercial for my pet human!
Happy National Acupuncture Day. Acupuncture is not only for humans. It works even better on all pooses, cats, dogs, horses, pigs, goats, llamas and even a push-you-pull-me!


Visit Planet Calamari to see more acupuncture and far out art!

Jeanie Marie Kraft, Lic.Ac. is keeping tails wagging on the North Shore of MA with canine acupuncture house-calls. ( and sometimes even feline house-calls!)
For more information please visit Four Paws Acupuncture

Boo and Lucy to Join Madonna on Oprah

Tomorrow Lucy and i will be on Oprah with Madonna. I really wanted to wear this tiara but i do not want to upset Miss Lucy. ....she has been so faithful taking her medication. (Tho i bet she would not mind going back into rehab now that Keith Urban is there.)
I guess i will just have to wear a simple pair of earrings....hmmmmm i wonder which ones Oprah will be wearing?

ciao for now

Poose-cam live from Hillcrest, CA brought to you by Planet Calamari


I am trying to decide what to wear to the Vampire Poose Ball this weekend. I borrowed Nubi's Count Poosula costume. I think with a nice pair of strappy black Manolos and long gloves this might work. If only Boo were here to help me. She and Lucy will not arrive until later this week. They are both with Madonna helping her sort out the messy poose-baby adoption matter.


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Calling all unemployed pooses! The party season is upon us and we are looking for substitute pooses to work full or part time through out the rest of this year. Experience is a plus. Must have references and a Substitite Poose license.
Please send all resumes to PO BOX POOSE, Salem MA 01970

The Calamari Institute of Substitute Pooses is now offering an Sub-Poose Intensive from November 1-8, 2006 for all pooses looking for a new career. Course will cover all basics and will qualify you to sit for the Substitute Poose Boards. Hurry call now... our admission reps are standing by. Hablamos Espanol!

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tormenting the blog jedi master

Our pet human is so easily amused. I am so glad that she put these Mickey Mouse ears on Nubi instead of me. He deserves to be taunted. Tho... he doesn't seem to care. I will have to find other ways to torment him. Soon Boo and Lucy will be here.. i am sure they know some fun ways we can pick on him. He gets way too much attention from my humans. They should ignore him all the time and think of

I do hope she buys me a decent witch hat. .....after all we do live in Salem.
Bring me my broomstick.

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zevo's tattoo

I would like to thank everyone for the flowers, cards, balloons, and boxes of get well cat nip. I am feeling so much better. Amazing what a bit of R&R can do for a girl. And since i conned my pet human into taking me to the vet for a free belly wax, i was able to sneak off later and get the tattoo i wanted.

I think it is best if we postpone the opening of Hamburger Mary's in Salem. There is too much to be done and this week is a major party week in Salem. So i will be hosting the Zevo Calamari Celebrity Halloween Bash at Brothel Calamari instead.
Boo and Lucy will be here and we are all waiting for RSVPS from our guests.
ciao for now....
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The Siamese Cat Song Lyrics

We are Siameeiz if you pleeiz
We are Siameeiz if you don't please
We are former residents of Siam
There are no finer cats than we am
We are Siamese with very dainty claws
Please observing paws containing dainty claws
Now we lookin' over our new domicile
If we like we stay for maybe quite a while

click here to hear the tune

Since i am under the weather i am making my pet human sing this too me. Too bad she sings like Yoko Ono.

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I am taking the day off... feeling a bit under the weather. I think i had way too much champagne last night .Hoping the rest of you continue to keep working so we can get Hamburger Mary's open by Halloween.
ciao ciao
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The Good Witch responds

"Oh rubbish! You have no power here! Be gone, before somebody drops a house on you!"

Karl Rove threatens liberal pooses....

I'm warning you liberal pooses.....LEAVE MY DOG out of this! ...Or else it is Gitmo for all of you.....
And for the record...he is not gay, never has worn fishnets and there are weapons of mass destruction.

Visit Planet Calamari... a very liberal planet accepting of all alternative lifstyles....



please call me... your crazy (and need i say drunk) jedi roomie has tied up the email and internet system..........
we have work to do...bars to build, menus to plan and parties to crash....

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jedi blog master drunk

just can't thunk how to type now? the kiyboard is blurrrrrrie



what earrings part II

I know for a fact that Boo is innocent. I am certain that Barney Bush stole Bab's earrings and that he was in drag....i think i saw Karl Rove's dog with him wearing black fishnets and platforms, very Rocky Horror.


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what earrings?

Miss Lucy.... i have NO idea what you are talking about.


Babs lashes out

Last night at a private NY performance to benefit homeless pooses Barbra Streisand lashed out at a heckler in the crowd before singing "Pooses, who need Pooses, are the luckiest pooses ... in the world...."

Later she was heard screaming "Where the F#!* are my earrings!"

Famed pooses, Zevo, Boo and Miss Lucy who attended the concert have no comment and could not be found anywhere in NY this morning.

Poose-cam live from NY, NY by Planet Calamari, Planet Calamari


Oprah is IN!

A NYC update for you girls,

Attended last night's Barbra Streisand concert at the Garden with Oprah. She was wearing a beautiful black and White Carolina Herrera gown with her emeralds and thought I'd look stunning draped around her neck and/or lounging in her lap during the concert. (I looked phenomenal).

We had a late supper at Nobu and she agreed to invest in our Salem Hamburger Mary restaurant if she could pick the chef. I said, "Hey, what the hell..." So, she ponied up a cool million.

Rosie O'Donnell was there as well and wanted to get in on the action. She also wanted to adopt some pooses and will be contacting you two for prospective furry ones.

Gotta go, Oprah's chef is on the speaker phone.

Ciao Meow,

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Madonna Adopts African Poose Baby

Looks like Kabbalah just increased its devotees by one.

After a week of increasingly implausible denials and "no comments," a Malawi high court judge has managed to do what Madonna would not: confirm that the singer and husband Guy Ritchie have adopted a one-year-old male cat.

Unconfirmed sources report that Boo and Zevo asked Madonna to help out with the Salem Hamburger Mary project and were turned down by the pop diva. Miss Lucy is now said to be negotiating with her dear friend Oprah for more funding.

Poose-cam live from Africa brought to you by
Planet Calamari


elton john helps out

Salem Poose sources have confirmed that Elton John donated an undisclosed amount of money to the building of the Salem Hamburger Mary's. John, a personal friend of Zevo Calamari's will also be a part of the entertainment on the opening night. No word of when the actual opening will be, as Salem City officials and locals are concerned about the influx of drunk pooses and the gay men the joint will attract.

Zevo Calamari and friends are hoping to make Salem into a Hillcrest, San Diego type environment. "You can only take so many tacky witch shops and ghost tours. We need some class and good taste in this town" Zevo was heard saying.
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De Niro Invests in Poose Project

Hey Girls,

I have been in NYC meeting with De Niro and his people about investing in a Salem Hamburger Mary's. Wolfgang and Springsteen got wind of the meeting and are trying to get in on the ground floor. wolfgang wants a pizza oven (I said NO) and Bruce wants a back room for the E St. Band (I said "of course").

Paris Hilton is starting to get annoying. She wants to invest but thinks Hamburger Mary's is a Drive Thru! How does that girl ever get a date???

I'll keep you posted.

Kiss, Kiss,


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The real story about Columbus

Happy Columbus Day. The real story behind Columbus discovering America is that his cat, Regina Zevo was actually the one who saw the shore first and bit him until he turned the ships around to land. Legends tell of other cats on the ships as well, Senorita Boolita, Senorita Lucita and a Santa Nubius who played a vital part in the discovering of America.

In honor of Columbus day and my distant relative Regina Zevo, i have decided to discover a place to build the new Hamburger Mary's here in Salem. I have sent Miss Lucyfur out to find investors. Boo will join me soon in the planning. I might even let Nubee help if he is nice. ( I might need a Jedi poose for something)

Enjoy the holiday,


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See no evil... Hear no evil... Bark no evil.....

You think you have problems with those humungous dawgs?!! Take a look. at the ones my pet human brought me home to live with. I was happily ensconced in a palm tree in Balboa Park when she decided to bring me home with her. These guys eat pooses for breakfast, but I have learned how to wrap them around my little paw. they are smart, but not smarter than I am.


Miss Lucy

Jeanie Marie Kraft, Lic.Ac. is keeping tails wagging
on the North Shore of MA with canine acupuncture house-calls.
For more information please visit Four Paws Acupuncture

Leonberger Madness

My pet human met a Leonberger dog yesterday and that is ALL she is talking about. What a traitor.
Though.... if she did get one of those it would be a useful thing for lugging large pieces of out of museums.......... and riding thru town....hmmmmmmmmm
I am too hung over to think about this now.... maybe tomorrow

la de da

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A Message to humans from Dr Dolittle

My pet human watched the old version of the movie Dr Dolittle last night with Nubi and i...... she suggested that i post this song. So true!

Why Do We Treat Animals, Like Animals?
From the movie Dr. Dolittle - Twentieth Century Fox Productions
(The version of Dr Dolittle starring Rex Harrison)

I do not understand the human race... It has so little love for creatures with a different face.
Treating animals like people is no madness or disgrace. I do not understand the human race

I wonder, Why do we treat animals like animals?
Animals treat us so very well. The devoted way they serve us
And protect us when we're nervous Oh, they really don't deserve us
All we give them is hell.

Tell me how else man repays them? Do we ever think to praise them?
No we don't, and this dismays them You can tell.

We're riddled with ingratitude We give no love or latitude
In every way our attitude is ...Well... like animals!

No, no... That's not what I mean.

I mean... Why do we treat animals like animals?
How can people be so inhumane? Cows and chickens work to feed us
Dogs and horses show they need us And though cats don't always heed us
Their affection is plain.

What do we do? We neglect them.
We do nothing to protect them. We reject them, don't expect them to complain.

We ignore them or we beat them. When we're hungry then we eat them.
It's appalling how we treat them. It's insane... like animals!

We humiliate and murder and confine them. We create their retched status,
Then we use it to malign them ....I mean...
Why should we say: "Treat him like a dog?"
Why should we say: "Working like a horse?"
Why should we say: "Eating like a hog?"
When what we mean is: "Eating like a MAN!" Don't we?
Of course!

A man of ill repute is called a weasel or a rat. A woman you dislike becomes a vixen or a cat.
A family that is blessed with healthy reproductive habits, Occasions the remark: "Well you know them, they breed like rabbits!"
He's as stubborn as a mule. He's a stupid as an ox.
He's as slimy as a snake. He's as crafty as a fox.

(Remarks like that really get my goat.)

Why don't we say: "Noble as a frog?"
Or, Why can't we say: "Wealthy as a hen?"
True, we say: "Devoted as a dog."
But what we should say is: "Sheik as a giraffe."
"Pretty as a pig" eh... That'll be the big day
Won't it? But when?

When will we stop treating them like animals?
Is the human race entirely mad?
Women see a baby goat skin or a lamb skin or a stoat skin
And to them it's just a coat skin. Oh it's terribly sad.

When you dress in suede or leather Or some fancy fur or feather
Do you stop to wonder whether for a fad...You have killed some beast or other
That you're wearing someone's brother, Or perhaps it's someone's mother
In which you're clad.
Well, it's true, We do not live in a zoo
But man is an animal, too
So why can't you...Like me

Like animals?

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City of Salem haunted by drunken cats & bikers...

Last night hordes of drunk cats, dogs, skunks and bikers turned the tiny city of Salem upside down after the Haunted Happenings Parade. As one local recalled, "It was like Mardi Gras" Reports of stolen jewelry and other valuables flooded the Salem Police department.

This morning hung-over pooses were found sleeping on the streets, the wharf and on top of cars. Mayor Kim Driscoll said she will use every resource possible to find out who invited these unruly characters. The mayor is still recovering from her fainting spell last night after seeing Captain Jack Sparrow.

Poose-cam live from Salem Planet Calamari


Jack Sparrow appears at Salem Parade

Captain Jack Sparrow rode into Salem with the Gatti della Strega sui Vespas at the Haunted Happenings Parade this evening. His swagger and the glint in his eyes caused women to swoon and faint all over the parade route, creating a stress on the EMT system. Mayor Kimberly Driscoll called for an emergency back-up from the Boston Fire Department to handle the overload.

Poose-cam live from Salem brought to you by Planet Calamari

Mayor of Salem calls in Boston Police on Horses

Mayor Kim Driscoll called for reinforcements for tonight's parade by asking the Boston police to bring in their mounted unit to Salem. The mayor is concerned about the influx of celebrities, paparazzi and hordes of pooses that have invaded the city. Rumors of a secret celebrity party have the town in an uproar.

Tonight's parade will be led by the famed Gatti della Strega sui Vespas ( witch cats on vespas) with celebrity pooses such as Zevo Calamari, Boo, Lucyfur, Nubi Wan Kenobi, Sarge & Tao and a rumored Paris la Chat. Other celebrities such as George Clooney, Julia Roberts, Nicole Kidman, Dr Bombay, David Letterman and the Dixie Chicks, all friends with these cats will be riding as well with them. Unconfirmed sources report that Brad Pitt left Salem early this morning to join Angelina Jolie at an art gallery in London. Paris Hilton tried her best to invite herself only to end up in a cat fight with former Playmate Shanna Moakler.

The theme of tonight's parade is Pirates... and all are hoping that a certain Captain Jack Sparrow makes a special guest appearance on a vespa.....

Poose-cam live from Salem is brought to you by Planet Calamari


George Clooney seen riding bike in Salem....

Paparazzi swarmed the streets of Salem this afternoon in search of George Clooney. Unconfirmed sources have seen him riding up and down Derby Street with his pet pig, Max and two cats wearing tiaras. George outwitted the press with the help of these clever pooses and is now at a secret party.

Brad Pitt was seen again having dinner and drinks with Miss Lucyfur at the local hang out, In a Pig's Eye. Locals are worried about the influx of paparazzi and the hordes of pooses roaming the small town. Authorities are hoping for a peaceful parade tomorrow night.

Poose-cam from Salem brought to you by
Planet Calamari

nicole kidman seen riding vespa in salem

Unconfirmed sources have seen Nicole Kidman riding a vespa this morning in Salem. Rumors are that she is riding in the parade with the Gatti della Strega sui Vespas along with a few other Bewitched cast members. Paparazzi are still on the look-out for George Clooney and his pig.

Meanwhile hordes of cats wearing leather outfits and witch hats have been seen roaming the streets of Salem. The mayor of Salem is concerned that there is not enough law enforcement for the parade tomorrow night. Boston police on horses will be brought in if needed.

Poose-cam live from Salem brought to you by
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Cast of Bewitched to ride in parade......

Dr Bombay from Bewitched will also be in this Thursday's parade riding his magic vespa with the Gatti della Strega sui Vespas. Unconfirmed sources claim that Nicole Kidman, who played Samantha in the movie version of Bewitched will also be riding in this year's parade.

The paparazzi are swarming the streets of Salem looking for celebrities and trying to find the secret location of Zevo & Boo's party. Brad Pitt and Lucyfur have been seen at the Hawthorne Hotel having lunch earlier today. George Clooney and his pig are in seclusion.

Poose-cam live from Salem brought to you by
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Brad Pitt Rides into Salem

Brad Pitt and LucyFur (the cat formerly known by several other names before her rehab stint) rode into Salem, MA early this evening. An unconfirmed source has seen them check in at the Hotel Calamari.

An invitation only party is being held in a secret location for guests of Zevo & Boo tonight and will continue through out the week. Brad will be riding in the parade Thursday with the Gatti della Strega sui Vespas. No word if Angelina and family will join them. Rumors that George Clooney, his pet pig and Julia Roberts will be arriving soon for the festivities as well.

Poose-cam live from the Halloween capital of the world is brought to you by Planet Calamari

Pooses and Vespas invade Salem, MA

Salem, MA
Pooses from all over the world have been flocking into Salem, MA to ride in the annual Haunted Happenings Parade this coming Thursday night as a kick off to the Halloween Season.

This year the Strega Queen, Zevo Calamari will be leading the parade with the Gatti della Strega sui Vespas, ( witch cats on vespas) A party after the parade will be held in Salem's famed Brothel Calamari. Authorities have warned the locals of wearing any valuable jewelry to the parade.

Rumors that Brad Pitt will attend on a hog are rampant through out Salem.

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