Graduates of the Calamari Institute for Professional Biting
Looking for a a new career? The Calamari Institute for Professional Biting is now accepting applications for the Fall semester. Learn how to bite ankles, knees and other fun humans party. Study the art of covert biting. Our graduates have gone on to bite celebrities and many politicians, such as Ann Coulter, Dick Cheney, Nicole Richie, P Diddy, and others we are not permitted to mention(or admit to)
Be a part of the prestigious Bite Patrol which has been making headline news. This fall our list of professors include Covert Operations Biter, Lucy Fur, best known for her biting debut with Dick Cheney.
Also teaching celebrity biting will be Zevo Calamari and Miss Boo. Both are famous for biting Paris Hilton, Vanessa Paradis (wife of Johnny Depp), and Toby Keith and the whiney country chick with the red hair.
Other professors include Martial arts instructor Tao and her sidekick Sarge. Nubi wan Kenobi will be teaching Jedi theory on how to use the force during a bite attack.
Hurry... operators are standing by. Call now to sign up before classes are filled. In a few months you to will be a part of THE BITE PATROL
1-800-CAT-BITE se hablo espanol
Be a part of the prestigious Bite Patrol which has been making headline news. This fall our list of professors include Covert Operations Biter, Lucy Fur, best known for her biting debut with Dick Cheney.
Also teaching celebrity biting will be Zevo Calamari and Miss Boo. Both are famous for biting Paris Hilton, Vanessa Paradis (wife of Johnny Depp), and Toby Keith and the whiney country chick with the red hair.
Other professors include Martial arts instructor Tao and her sidekick Sarge. Nubi wan Kenobi will be teaching Jedi theory on how to use the force during a bite attack.
Hurry... operators are standing by. Call now to sign up before classes are filled. In a few months you to will be a part of THE BITE PATROL
1-800-CAT-BITE se hablo espanol
9 comments:
*giggling*! Being part of the Bite Patrol sounds like a lot of fun, and exciting, too! What a wonderful mission!
Purrs and snuggles from Marilyn.
Sign us up, Zevo and Boo! Sounds wonderful. (But, why did you want to bite Vanessa Paradis?)
Purrs,
Mr. Chen & Ollie
Oh my. I think that I should sign my brother, Clyde up for that one. He does not bite, I mean ever. He has been here for two months now and has not even attempted to bite anyone. Not even me. Hmmmm. On second thought, I will not be letting him read your blog today.
Sounds great~!
Wow, that course sounds very interesting. I don't think my humans would like it if I learned how to bite, though.
This sounds like something I would have a head start in - but one can always improve one's technique!
I already know how to give the bitey. And I am very very good at it!
Biiiiiting! OH how fun! Can I be a guest lecturer? I specialize in biting, especially the "didn't see that coming bite" and the educational bite for humans in training!
I'd be more than willing to share my techniques.... Let me know!
Anastasia
I'm pretty good at giving the bitey when necessary, but never such celeb!
Thanks for the info on the probiotics and ear treatments. Mom is definetely going to check it out for Kavan.
Tara
Post a Comment