Planet Calamari Zazzle shop

2009-12-22

Festivus Eve Rantings


Tomorrow is Festivus, which means it is time for me to compose my list of grievances for the Festivus celebration. They are pretty much the same as last years with a few more additions. Obviously the pet humans did not pay attention to them again.

So far this is my list:

Where is the dog you promised me? Luna is not a dog. You were supposed to adopt a dog for me...not another cat who has large feet. I want a dog and i want it now.

I do not like that the female pet human leaves for several hours each day. She should stay home and nap with me.

The male pet human should feed me more and allow me to go outside without supervision.

I do not think it is fair that Zevo has seniority over me. Just because she has been with them for 16.5 years and i have only been with them for 3 is just not right. And it is totally unfair they adopted Luna diPoosalita with out my permission. Oh and her feet are enormous.

Luna should not be allowed near my crunchies. And she needs to stay away from the female pet human. She is mine. I do not like the pet human telling her how poosie she is or complimenting her "twinkle toes", My feet are really cute too.

I think they should buy me some real birds to chase around the house this Christmas instead of the fake birdie toys.

I should be paid $5 every time they scream "Nubi get down off of that_________!"(fill in the blank) Then i could retire and buy my own dog.

I do NOT appreciate the female pet human's singing ...especially when she sings that "Smelly Cat" song while cleaning the cat box. Nor do i appreciate her calling me a "poose-head" when i am causing trouble.

I have many more complaints...but it is my nap time.

Wishing everyone a Happy Festivus for the rest of us.

love,

nubi wan kenobi, Jedi poose

p.s. Join us tomorrow for our annual Festivus party at the Casino Calamari.

1 comment:

Cheysuli and gemini said...

I hate my life. Is that enough ranting? The Woman is ranting that the health department has been paid off by big dairy to try and shut down her raw milk dairy... GRRR.