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Ivana Trump Blames Cats
for Mishap on Plane

Just one day after a man attempted to blow up a plane, Ivana Trump blew up at passengers before take-off, launching obscenities at cats wearing tiaras aboard the flight to New York.

The former wife of Donald Trump apparently got angry about her seat assignment in first class when she boarded the Delta-Northwest flight. Trump began screaming "I will not sit near those f--king cats. They are nothing but trouble. I know what they did to Lindsey Lohan." Flight attendants offered her a different seat in first class. But she quickly became infuriated at the cats on the plane who began to taunt her about wearing fur and tacky leather pants.

The tabloid THE POST also spoke with a 10-year-old witness, Vincent Cone, who claims that the 60-year-old woman flipped out at the cute cats. "The reason she got so upset was the cats were laughing at her and she started screaming, 'I want my earrings and iPod back now or you will be made into my next coat,'" said Cone. "I liked the cats. They were very funny and they all looked so cute wearing those tiaras. I wish my cat at home dressed nice too."

When flight attendants told Ivana that she was getting kicked off the plane, Trump rushed toward the cockpit, according to Cone. Pilots told her to leave, but she refused to disembark from the plane and the cats helped to move her out of the plane by biting her ankles and knees. After she was off the plane the cats ordered a bottle of champagne and watched the movie That Darn Cat.

No charges have been filed against Mz Trump. She claims that her iPod, earrings and diamond rings and watch are missing.


zevo hussein calamari said...

um like does this diamond ring make me look bloated? pour me some more champagne please.

Cheysuli and gemini said...

I heard about this. I had no idea you were the issue she had. I thought it was some child. Imagine! Confusing the pooseys with a child!!!

Boo said...

grumpy be-ahge of a woman is all i can say. glad i could share my champagne with the kid - when the parents weren't looking, of course!