Planet Calamari Zazzle shop


Happy New Years Eve

Hillcrest, CA

The rainbow section of San Diego known as Hillcrest has been flooded with hordes of well dressed cats and celebrities today, coming in from all over the country. Tonight the celebrity cats known as the Pooses for Peace will be holding their New Years Eve gala at Mo's, (formerly known as Hamburger Mary's).

Miss Lucy Fur and Miss Boo who still live in Hillcrest coordinated the last minute party details. Extra tequila has been brought up from Mexico for the party. Unconfirmed sources report that George Clooney may be escorting Miss Boo to the party. Donatella Versace flew in this morning with couture for the cats to wear this evening.

Miss Lucy Fur, BFF with Oprah has brought in Racheal Ray to cook for the evening. Many are concerned that Miss Lucy Fur is once again off her medication. The last time the cats had a party at MO's the San Diego swat team was called in for a cat fight started by Lucy Fur. Dr Phil filed a restraining order against Miss Fur two years ago.

Members of the Bite & Run, Poot and Run and Poop and Run brigades have been invited. There are too many to name. (We apologize for not providing links to all the cats attending or invited since we are typing on an iBook that has been feuding with

Paparazzi are hoping ex presidential canditate Cheysuli will be attending the party this year. Her former bodyguard, Nubi wan Kenobi arrived with roomie Zevo Calamari this morning and prima ballerina Luna diPoosalita aka Twinkle Toes. Monkay the thumbed cat along with Che Nikki the rebel schnauzer is also rumoured to be attending.

Another rumour floating through the poose world is that Zevo's pet human may be getting a newer ibook and will actually be able to visit more cat blogs in the new year.

Wishing all pooses and their loved ones a Happy Healthy Prosperous and Pooserific New Year!


New Years Eve Party Moved to San Diego

Zevo .... please call me!

I hear that another snow storm will be hitting your area tomorrow. Let's move the New Years Party from Casino Calamari to Mo's in San Diego...then afterwards we can have a house-trashing party at my place.

Miss Lucy Fur and i will take care of all the details. Bring your tiara and flip flops! I guess you can bring Nubi and Luna diPoosalita too!!

See you later.
ciao ciao


Ivana Trump Blames Cats
for Mishap on Plane

Just one day after a man attempted to blow up a plane, Ivana Trump blew up at passengers before take-off, launching obscenities at cats wearing tiaras aboard the flight to New York.

The former wife of Donald Trump apparently got angry about her seat assignment in first class when she boarded the Delta-Northwest flight. Trump began screaming "I will not sit near those f--king cats. They are nothing but trouble. I know what they did to Lindsey Lohan." Flight attendants offered her a different seat in first class. But she quickly became infuriated at the cats on the plane who began to taunt her about wearing fur and tacky leather pants.

The tabloid THE POST also spoke with a 10-year-old witness, Vincent Cone, who claims that the 60-year-old woman flipped out at the cute cats. "The reason she got so upset was the cats were laughing at her and she started screaming, 'I want my earrings and iPod back now or you will be made into my next coat,'" said Cone. "I liked the cats. They were very funny and they all looked so cute wearing those tiaras. I wish my cat at home dressed nice too."

When flight attendants told Ivana that she was getting kicked off the plane, Trump rushed toward the cockpit, according to Cone. Pilots told her to leave, but she refused to disembark from the plane and the cats helped to move her out of the plane by biting her ankles and knees. After she was off the plane the cats ordered a bottle of champagne and watched the movie That Darn Cat.

No charges have been filed against Mz Trump. She claims that her iPod, earrings and diamond rings and watch are missing.


Deja Vu... Jimmy Buffett Stranded
at Casino Calamari...

Unconfirmed sources report that Jimmy Buffett is snowed in..again... at the Casino Calamari in Salem, MA. Even though the mandatory No Parking Don't Even Think About Parking Ever Snow ban was not in effect, his tour bus was forced to park in the Salem Ferry Lot, which has not seen a snow plow in days. ( It seems that every time Mr Buffett visits the Casino Calamari he gets stranded there.) Odd coincidence....

Mayor Kimberley Driscoll is not happy that the Salem Police have been called in..again.. due to the loud singing and noise coming from the Casino on Christmas night. A birthday party honoring Mr Buffett was given by his close friends, The Pooses for Peace.

The celebrity cats have been nothing but a thorn in her side since she became the mayor of Salem. (Unconfirmed sources say the Mayor is miffed she was not invited to the party due to her poor fashion sense and her refusal to wear a coconut bra with the mandatory parrot head grass skirt instead of her black suit.)

Cats wearing coconut bras, grass skirts and leis invited the police to join the party. Several of the cats had parrots perched on their tiaras. Mayor Kimberly Driscoll denies all reports of Salem Police drinking margaritas and sporting grass skirts. (The mayor is concerned that the Salem Police have already had enough bad press due to the You-Tube incidents that happened near Halloween a year ago.)

At this time the music and noise continues at the Casino Calamari. Un-manned police cars are still parked outside the Casino. The neighbors who filed the complaint have since been seen wearing orchid leis over their parkas, while drinking margaritas and dancing in the snow,


Merry Buffetmas!

Happy Birthday Jimmy Buffett!
Today is a Pastafarian Holy Day.

Tonight at the Casino Calamari

Jimmy Buffett and the Coral Reefer Pooses

All you can drink margaritas and shots of tequila!
Poose buffet of ham, tuna and cat nip brownies
Bring your own parrothead attire


A Happy Festivus for the Rest of Us!

Happy Festivus!

We invite everyone to our Festivus Celebration at the Casino Calamari tonight. We will be putting up our pole at 5:00 pm followed by the reciting of the List of Grievances and then the Strengths of Feat.

The cast of Seinfeld will be there to party with us! We will be serving a Festivus holiday meal of tuna, ham and turkey with Nip-tinis and margaritas for all,

Wishing everyone a Festivus Miracle!

the pooses for peace


Festivus Eve Rantings

Tomorrow is Festivus, which means it is time for me to compose my list of grievances for the Festivus celebration. They are pretty much the same as last years with a few more additions. Obviously the pet humans did not pay attention to them again.

So far this is my list:

Where is the dog you promised me? Luna is not a dog. You were supposed to adopt a dog for me...not another cat who has large feet. I want a dog and i want it now.

I do not like that the female pet human leaves for several hours each day. She should stay home and nap with me.

The male pet human should feed me more and allow me to go outside without supervision.

I do not think it is fair that Zevo has seniority over me. Just because she has been with them for 16.5 years and i have only been with them for 3 is just not right. And it is totally unfair they adopted Luna diPoosalita with out my permission. Oh and her feet are enormous.

Luna should not be allowed near my crunchies. And she needs to stay away from the female pet human. She is mine. I do not like the pet human telling her how poosie she is or complimenting her "twinkle toes", My feet are really cute too.

I think they should buy me some real birds to chase around the house this Christmas instead of the fake birdie toys.

I should be paid $5 every time they scream "Nubi get down off of that_________!"(fill in the blank) Then i could retire and buy my own dog.

I do NOT appreciate the female pet human's singing ...especially when she sings that "Smelly Cat" song while cleaning the cat box. Nor do i appreciate her calling me a "poose-head" when i am causing trouble.

I have many more complaints...but it is my nap time.

Wishing everyone a Happy Festivus for the rest of us.


nubi wan kenobi, Jedi poose

p.s. Join us tomorrow for our annual Festivus party at the Casino Calamari.


Boston Ballet Welcomes Twinkle Toes Calamari

The Boston Ballet will performing the Nutcracker Ballet tonight at the Wang Theater. Prima Ballerina Twinkle Toes Calamari aka as Luna diPoosalita will make her debut tonight as the Sugar Plum Fairy. Miss Toes was trained by the infamous Mikhail Baryshnikov.

Other Pooses for Peace members will also be dancing in the ballet tonight. Nubi wan Kenobi will play the part of the mean mouse. The Meezer boys will be dancing as toy soldiers. No word yet if Zevo Calamari, Miss Boo or Miss Lucy Fur will be dancing with the ballet. Rumor has it they are still celebrating Zappadan at the Casino Calamari.

Tickets are still available for tonight's performance.


Tiger Photo Leaked by Zevo Calamari

Madam Zevo Calamari, unconfirmed owner of the Brothel Calamari has released a statement today: "This is the picture of Tiger that i keep in my locket, with a strand of his fur. We spent time together when his mate was not in their den. I did not know he had cubs. I am not a hooker. It was true love. My heart is broken........ and um like.. ...does this lycra tiger print make me look fat?.... Pass me a shot of tequila please......"


Paparazzi Camped Outside Casino Calamari

Associated Press
Salem MA

The paparazzi has been camped outside the infamous Casino Calamari since Friday. Camera crews and news hounds have been hoping to catch a glimpse of Madam Zevo Calamari and her friends, Miss Boo and a Miss Lucy Fur after rumors spread about Tiger Woods leaving their so called house of ill repute known as the Brothel Calamari. The domestic terrorist cats have not been seen since the Zappadan party last Friday night.

Authorities are still searching the entire city of Salem for the brothel and have yet to find its location. Mayor Kimberly Driscoll has called for back up detectives and the FBI to help locate the illegal "cat house". "These cats are a menace to society. This is NOT the kind of tourist attraction we want Salem to be known for! ,.... Um.....Where is my iPhone and what is that smell?"

As of tonight at least 8 possibly 10 women have claimed to have had affairs with Tiger Woods. One can only imagine what the number is if it is true he visited the Brothel Calamari.


Tiger Woods Seen Leaving Brothel Calamari


Unconfirmed sources claim to have seen Tiger Woods leaving the famed Brothel Calamari on several occasions this year. No photos have surfaced yet of these claims.The infamous brothel is allegedly run by the domestic terrorist feline Zevo hussein Calamari and her cohorts, the Pooses for Peace. Authorities in Salem have not been able to locate the brothel. Salem's mayor, Kim Driscoll has called for undercover police to search for the house of ill repute and arrest those running it. "Those wretched cats will be prosecuted as soon as we have evidence."

Madam Calamari refused to give an interview on Larry King or to make an appearance on The View. She released a statement this morning: "What brothel? What tigers? Do these golf shoes make me look fat? Pass me a martini please."


Merry Zappadan!

Tis the season of
Zappadan December 4th through December 21

We pooses are all way to young to remember Frank Zappa. However, Zappadan is a very important holiday according to our pet human.

Frank Zappa was born in the very same hospital as our pet human ...and passed away on her birthday in 1993. (She took it personal...and needless to say she was very excited to hear that others dedicated a season to him that starts on her birthday)

The festival of Zappadan runs from the date of Frank's death, 12/4, through the date of his birth, 12/21.

We would like to invite everyone to celebrate Zappadan at the Casino Calamari for the entire season.

Bring your own dental floss, and we will provide entertainment, munchies and of course tequila.

Oh... and a happy birthday to our pet human. (We think she would like this quote too!)

“I never set out to be weird. It was always other people who called me weird.”
Frank Zappa


Happy Birthday Nubi wan Kenobi!

It is Nubi wan Kenobi's birthday. ....Famed Jedi Knight, member of the Pooses for Peace and bodyguard to Meezer Ex-presidential candidate Cheysuli.

A birthday party will be held on the Forest Moon of Endor tonight.
Music by the Cantina Band

Star Wars attire is required.
Bring your own light saber.

Space shuttle leaves from the Salem Ferry lot at noon.

May the Force be with you!


Celebrate the Divine Miss M's Birthday
at the Casino Calamari!

You are invited to celebrate Bette Midler's Birthday
Tonight at the Casino Calamari
7:00 pm - whenever the Salem PD gets here

cat-Nip-tinis and all you can eat sea food buffet

Music by the Divine Miss M
with special back up vocals by the Furettes

bring your own mermaid costume