Planet Calamari Zazzle shop

2010-01-15

NBC Execs Latest Targets of Bite & Run

Associated Press
NBC Studios

An  NBC  secret meeting for   greedy bastards  executives only, was interrupted unexpectedly today.  Hordes of cats, dogs, a few skunks and a peacock wearing SAVE COCO  shirts stormed into  the room from the windows, beneath tables and out of ceiling ducts to launch the first  Bite & Run attack of 2010. 

NBC executive Dick Ebersol, who trashed Conan O'Brien in an interview with the New York Times, calling Conan an "astounding failure" was heard screaming WHAT THE F&%K is on my leg.... Aaaaaachooooooooooooo.... HELP! Ouch........ 

While Jeff Tucker who threatened Conan "I will keep you off the air for 3.5 years" was bit, scratched by cats, pecked by the peacock and sprayed by a skunk for 3.5 minutes. 

Both men were taken to an undisclosed hospital and reported in stable condition. Unconfirmed sources report that a cat wearing scrubs ran off with their pain medication and antihistamines. All executives in the room have reported missing iPhones, Rolexes, credit cards. A biohazard team was called in to rid the room of the noxious odor left.

Authorities believe this is the work of the infamous domestic terrorist group known as the Pooses for Peace. The group, is led by celebrity cats Zevo hussein Calamari, Boo and Miss Lucy Fur along with their cohorts, too numerous to name. Calamari and her best friends were seen yesterday sipping Pastis with Johnny Depp in the south of France. However the cats command legions of Bite & Run brigades and could have easily ordered an attack from anywhere in the world.

Miss Zevo Calamari released a statement:"Bon Jour! NB see ya!  Do you think these scrubs make me look fat? Could we have another bottle of Pastis... see if this credit cards works....."

3 comments:

zevo hussein calamari said...

Order the next bottle with the Zucker credit card....

Cheysuli and gemini said...

Yawns... not very tasty. I'm thinking of a Mass Spree if Coakly doesn't win.

meemsnyc said...

Save Coco! Save Conan!