ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT
Joan Rivers, the dreaded snarker of Oscar red carpet fashion, did not appear on television this year, so the many fans who wanted to watch the comedian dish out the fashion gossip had to go online. Rivers and her
Unconfirmed sources claim that the mother-daughter team were terrified of a repeat of last year's Bite & Run attack by the infamous celebrity cats who attend the Oscars. In 2007 both Joan and Melissa suffered severe bites, scratches and allergy attacks after calling celebrity cat Miss Lucy Fur a psycho-cat and saying that Zevo Calamari looked dumpy in her Versace. Later the duo called Miss Boo a slut for wearing a strapless, backless Versace a la J-Lo.
Joan Rivers released a statement from an undisclosed place. "My daughter and I were not hiding from those nasty cats. We felt that by reporting on-line instead, our fans would not have to worry about our ankles this year. And I would like to add that those wretched cats are all sluts..... OUCH!!!!!!!!! What the $!*K was that!!!!!!!!!!!! Someone get me a bandage ........Aaaaaaaaaaachoooooooo"
The celebrity cats, also referred to as the Pooses for Peace walked the red carpet with George Clooney and Johnny Depp. All were wearing diamond tiaras, Versace couture with Jimmy Choo shoes, except for Nubi wan Kenobi who wore his traditional Jedi robe. Dude the Bird Dog (ex-dog of Mike Huckabee and newly adopted by Liza Minelli ) was later seen dancing with Michael Moore at one of the after parties.
In other Oscar News...... Angelina Jolie was seen sporting a baby bump, but had reported her diamond earrings on loan for the Oscars were missing. Authorities have not named a suspect.
Several Bite & Run Attacks were reported by all those who wore fur to the event. Most of these celebrities are said to be in stable condition at a near by hospital. All have filed reports of missing jewelry.
Next on Entertainment Tonight...... Miss Boo and George Clooney??????????????????
5 comments:
Just because i run a successful brothel doesn't make me a slut!
bleeeuuuck..... i have this odd plastic like taste in my mouth...... tequila por favor.
So you got them anyway!
How ugly can melissa rivers' dress be??? yuck!
but--i actually think joan's dress would look great on a cat. neck-tiara, you know? are there any plans for obtaining it and donating it to homeless cats in hollywood?
princess guacamole
Yeah! They can't escape you!
*giggle*! The Pooses for Peace are on the Prowl!
Purrs and snuggles from Marilyn!
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