Fire at Casino Calamari

AP
Salem, MA
A small fire broke out at the famed Casino Calamari last night. (Casino Calamari is also known as Brothel Calamari in undisclosed circles) A wake for Max the Pig was being held. Unconfirmed sources say the fire was started by a certain celebrity who was smoking a cigar and drinking limoncello.

Madame Zevo Calamari said that there is a no smoking policy however this celebrity was so grief-struck by the loss of his pig she allowed him to smoke.

The fire was contained and there was no damage. The party continued after the smoke was cleared and it is said that a few firemen stayed as well.

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