Cats and Vespas Invade Salem MA

Associated Press
Salem, MA

Cats and celebrities from around the world have been flocking to Salem , MA during the past few days to participate in the annual Haunted Happenings parade. It is the official kick off to the Halloween Season.

Keeping with tradition, the Strega Queens, Zevo Calamari, Miss Boo and Lucy Fur will be leading the parade with the Gatti della Strega sui Vespas, ( witch cats on vespas). Other celebrity cats will be riding vespas along with the Pooses for Peace cats. The Bite & Run, Poop & Run and Whap & Run Brigades will also be riding along this year. Presidential candidate Cheysuli will be riding in a solar powered Smart convertible with her bodyguard Nubi wan Kenobi.

A party after the parade will be held in Salem's famed Casino Calamari.

Unconfirmed sources report that the cast of the Rocky Horror Show, Bewitched and Practical Magic will also be riding vespas along with the cats. No word if Miss Boo's paramour George Clooney will be riding in the parade this year. Last year Captain Jack Sparrow rode with the cats on a Harley Hog.

Mayor Kimberly Driscoll has issued warnings to the locals of wearing any valuable jewelry to the parade. She still claims that her earrings were stolen by pooses at a past parade.

Extra security have been brought in to prevent a repeat of last years cat fight between Zevo Calamari and Mayor Driscoll. At last year's parade, The commotion began when Mayor Kimberly Driscoll tried to upstage the Gatti della Strega sui Vespas by proclaiming she would lead the parade instead of the cats on vespas.

The mayor dressed in her one and only black suit had not bothered to even wear a costume for the kick off parade. Unconfirmed sources report that she was given a choice by Strega Queen Zevo Calamari, of either wearing a costume and riding with the cats on a vespa or walking behind them in her only suit. A cat fight broke out when the mayor refused.

No charges were filed as there were no witnesses. However the mayor's black suit had several tears in it after the parade.

Mayor Driscoll issued a statement this morning: "These cats are a menace to society. I have asked for backup Police from Boston and surrounding towns for this years parade. The only reason i tolerate these cats is that they bring in celebrities to our small city to spend money. .. which can then be taxed and pay for my $20,000 raise. Then maybe I can buy another black suit."

An anonymous aid to the mayor said that this year, the mayor will be wearing ankle and knee guards under her black suit at the parade.


Rumors that Brad Pitt will attend on a hog are rampant through out Salem.

Ya Ba Da Ba Doooooooooo

Cinema Calamari presents
The Flintstone Film Festival

You know.. we completely forgot about one of our favortie cartoons, The Flintstones until Sarah Palin has declared that dinosaurs and humans roamed the earth 6,000 years ago together. You can read about it at our friends The Huffington Post

Maybe Sara thinks it was a documentary and not a cartoon? Anyway.. we will be showing Flintstone cartoons all day instead of watching the news.

Please join us for a YabaDaba Dooooo time! Of course there will be an all you can eat ham and niptini buffett for all pooses.

Happy Monday!

BLOW UP YOUR TV

The Pooses for Peace invite everyone to follow the advice of John Prine this week.

BLOW UP YOUR TV!

We are tired of watching the nonsense going on in Washington on the news. We are so tired of the propaganda. We don't need no stinking Teeeee Veeee. If we hear that chimp's voice one more time we may puke up all our ham and stinky goodness. If we see that scary woman from Alaska with the weird glasses and the beehive hair do one more time we may have to pull our hair out. And the old man with the lisp and droopy eye gives some of us the "runs".

This is not healthy for pooses or people.

So.... we decided to get unplugged.

Cancel your cable. Save some money. (You will need it to help pay for that $700billion-trillion-zillion bailout for the rich and greedy!)

Rent movies instead. Read books. Meditate. Listen to music. Take lots of naps. Chase birdie toys. Do shots of tequila. Do anything but don't watch TV! Maybe if we ignore them they will all go away!

Have a wonderful weekend. We will be unplugged all weekend waiting for Hurricane Kyle to hit New England.

Sing along with John Prine! ( feel free to substitute the words Buddha, Flying Spaghetti Monster, Bast, Allah, for the word Jesus!)

John Prine Spanish Pipe-dream

She was a level-headed dancer on the road to alcohol
And I was just a soldier on my way to Montreal
Well she pressed her chest against me
About the time the juke box broke
Yeah, she gave me a peck on the back of the neck
And these are the words she spoke

Chorus:
Blow up your T.V. throw away your paper
Go to the country, build you a home
Plant a little garden, eat a lot of peaches
Try an find Jesus on your own

Well, I sat there at the table and I acted real naive
For I knew that topless lady had something up her sleeve
Well, she danced around the bar room and she did the hoochy-coo
Yeah she sang her song all night long, tellin' me what to do

Repeat chorus:
Blow up your T.V. throw away your paper
Go to the country, build you a home
Plant a little garden, eat a lot of peaches
Try an find Jesus on your own

Well, I was young and hungry and about to leave that place
When just as I was leavin', well she looked me in the face
I said You must know the answer.
She said, No but I'll give it a try.
And to this very day we've been livin' our way

And here is the reason why
We blew up our T.V. threw away our paper
Went to the country, built us a home
Had a lot of children, fed 'em on peaches
They all found Jesus on their own

Happy Birthday Bruce Springsteen

Tonight at
Casino Calamari

Birthday Bruce and the E Street Band!

Nip-tini's and all you can eat Thunder Road Buffet

Wear your dancing shoes!

Emergency Session

Once again we have called an emergency session of Poose Congress to alert everyone of the latest blunder of GW the Chimp. We URGE your pet humans to sign this petition. Why should the tax payers bail out the richest, greediest companies of this country. (Instead that money should be used to feed homeless pooses and people and of course pay off our credit card debts!)

Oh... we decided to let Disneyland keep the statue of Johnny Depp at the Pirates of the Caribbean. This was a much more important issue to fight for!



Congress is on the brink of making a one-sided deal to give George W. Bush a blank check to bail out his pals - offering nearly (or perhaps more than) a trillion taxpayer dollars to Wall Street to cover its bad debts. That works out to somewhere between $2000 and $5000 from every American family. So what do the taxpayers get in return?

Nothing. No new regulation or oversight to help avoid this kind of crisis in the future. No public interest givebacks to help people whose homes are in the hands of the banks. Perhaps most shockingly of all, the taxpayers get absolutely no share in the profits if and when these finance giants bounce back, even though we are now assuming a great deal of the risk.

This is worse than a bad deal - this isn't a deal at all. This is a blank check to some of the richest companies in the world.

I just signed a petition calling on key members of Congress to impose a few sensible conditions to this bailout in order to protect the American people -- I hope you will too.

Please have a look and take action.
CLICK HERE!

AP NEWS ALERT

This just in from Anaheim, CA...... Cats dressed as pirates led by Bite & Run Commander, Miss Lucy Fur (the cat who is once again off her meds) have taken over The Pirates of the Caribbean Ride and have taken the Johnny Depp statue hostage until their demands are met.

One demand is that the song will be changed to the words "Yo ho Yo Ho a Pooses' Life for me" The other demand is that pirate cats must be added to the decor of the ride, since there is a dog in it.

The same incident happened in 2006. Doctors feel that the Yo Ho Yo Ho song has a hypnotic effect on cats taking medication. The theory is that there is a subliminal message in the song urging cats to stop taking their anxiety medication. Miss Lucy Fur has been on Oprah several times and even bit Dr Phil the last time she was on his show.
The celebrity cats are friends with Johnny Depp. No comment has been issued by Mr Depp at this time.

Swat teams and riot police have been called in... we will keep you posted.

Now back to more propaganda. Sarah Palin has a new line of lipstick called Pitt Bull Lips available only at Wal-mart.

Happy Talk Like a Pirate Day!

It is a Holy Day for all pastafarians ( devotees of the Flying Spaghetti Monster) today. May you be blessed by his Noodly Appendage. Ramen!

All pooses are invited to our private party at Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Special guest...... Captain Jack Sparrow! Be ready to swoon.

Please wear your patch and pirate attire.

Arrrrrrrrrr Arrrrrrrrrr shiver me timbers.. there will be plenty rum for all.. arrrrrrrrr

Sing along with us!

YO HO (A PIRATE'S LIFE FOR ME)
Lyrics by Xavier Atencio and music by George Bruns

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We pillage, we plunder, we rifle, and loot,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot,
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We extort, we pilfer, we filch, and sack,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
Maraud and embezzle, and even high-jack,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We kindle and char, inflame and ignite,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
We burn up the city, we're really a fright,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

We're rascals, scoundrels, villans, and knaves,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
We're devils and black sheep, really bad eggs,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We kindle and char, inflame and ignite,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
We burn up the city, we're really a fright,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

We're rascals, scoundrels, villans, and knaves,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
We're devils and black sheep, really bad eggs,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We're beggars and blighters, ne'er-do-well cads,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
Aye, but we're loved by our mommies and dads,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

Cats Help Invent Post-its

AP
Breaking News

Not only did John McCain invent the Blackberry (even though he cannot use the internet or knows how to email) unconfirmed sources have reported that the celebrity cats of The Pooses for Peace helped create Post-its along with Romy and Michele.

Miss Zevo Hussein Calamari issued a statement early this morning; " I believe that John McCain invented blackberries, strawberries and blueberries since he is older than God. I personally chose the color Blue to match my eyes when designing Post-its. Miss Boo chose pink, Miss Lucy Fur chose yellow and Nubi chose that funky lime green. Post-its are
one of the most important inventions of this century. Now pass me a Cosmo please. "

Poose for Peace Alert

We just heard the sad news about Daisy the Curly cats sister, Pixie who went over the rainbow this weekend. We are sending our love and healing purrs to her and her family. Eat a banana in honor of Pixie. It was her favorite. Her spirit lives on.



Hi everyone,

We want to thank all of you for the get well purrs and thoughts for Nubi. He is recovering and starting to be his old poose-head self. (peeing in the fireplace where the Buddha alter is in protest of his new cat food!)

Our pet human is working extra long hours and hopes to have a normal schedule in place soon. Maybe then we can visit you all regularly.

Miss Boo and all of us at the Pooses for Peace Headquaters have just heard about this latest evil plot by John McCain. Here are the details and a petition your pet humans can sign. We will be so happy when this election is over!

Thanks
zevo hussein calamari



Dear Friend:

John McCain is actively working to stop people who have lost their homes to foreclosure from voting this November.

McCain and the Republican Party in Macomb County are using foreclosure lists to suppress voters and deny them from exercising their constitutional right (Michigan Messenger, 9/10/08).

McCain stood with the Bush administration on economic policies that have led to our catastrophic foreclosure crisis, which has forced countless families in Michigan and across the nation out of their homes.

Please go to progressmichigan.org/nohomenovote and join me in signing a petition calling on McCain to stop his campaign to suppress voters who have lost their homes.

Thanks!

we are thankful!

I'm home! Oh Aunty Em! There is no place like home... my birdie toys, my pillow... my pet humans!

Thank you so much for all your prayers, purrs and get well wishes. The trip back from the hospital was uneventful.... no tow trucks or blue meanies. My pet human was happy about that!

I would not allow her to put a recent picture of me up on the post. The vets gave me a poodle haircut. It is very embarrassing. Zevo keeps calling me Poodle Boy.

I do want to thank all the vets and staff at the Atlantic Veterinary Hospital in Marblehead. I was treated like a celebrity. Everyone is so nice there. I got so many kisses from all the girls there.

My pet human is working lots of long hours and she apologizes for not being able to help us visit other blogs. Since Zevo will not help pay the vet bill the humans will have to work it off. Zevo is not too happy to have me home. She said i stink. I missed her anyway!

Thank you all so much. Love is all around!
may the force be with you
love
nubi wan kenobi
ps i am hoping to return to working for Chey very soon.

Back to the hospital............

Wednesday morning

Nubi is back in the hospital. He had another rough night last night . We are all hoping he will be released tomorrow. Thank you all for your prayers and purrs.

I am sorry i cannot visit other blogs and thank everyone personally.

Thank you
nubi's pet humans

i'm home!

Hi Everyone,

Thanks so much for all the get well wishes and purrs. I am finally home. I am still kind of groggy.

It was a rough ride home from the vet. My pet human was driving her little vw bug when she got pulled over by a large car with blue flashing lights and a very mean man in blue. He yelled at her for stopping at a yellow light and her tires were touching the pedestrian walk. She apologized and asked that he please be nice as she had a very sick cat in the car.

NO...... he was not nice. He then told her that the car registration had expired in August. (WHAT? no? what? Wait... no i didn't get anything in the mail.) AND that she had the choice of either being towed by the cops or finding someone to tow it home. He did not care that she had me in a crate. He did not care it was hotter than hell and we had to wait for a tow truck for 45 minutes. He could have written a fix it ticket. NO... she had to call AAA and we had to ride home in a tow truck.

I am sure this cop was at the RNC. It can be the only reason he glared at me in my crate with such disdain. My pet human is trying very hard to forgive him and she hopes that he learns some compassion.

However... we would like to say thank you soooo much to all those who helped us yesterday.... the very nice tow truck driver, our neighbors, and friends and the nice people at the Atlantic Vet hospital.

Since the pet human is working double to pay for these past few days we will not be posting or visiting much.
Thank you all for the love and healing prayers.
Spread some compassion today!

love
nubi

Jedi Poose Hospitalized

NEWS ALERT

Nubi wan Kenobi was rushed to the hospital early Friday morning. He had a repeat episode of crystals blocking his urethra. (OUCH!) Nubi is doing fine and we hope to have him home on Monday.

We feel that the cause of this must have been due to the toxicity of those nasty people at the RNC. His outstanding bravery in the latest Bite & Run should merit him a purple heart from the Pooses for Peace.

We will keep you posted on how he is doing. Thank you for keeping him in your purrs.

I am sorry that we will not be able to visit many blogs this week. The pet human is having a meltdown.

ciao ciao
zevo

NEWS ALERT... BREAKING NEWS FROM THE REPUBLICAN CONVENTION..............

CNN
THIS BREAKING NEWS JUST IN....

Sarah Palin, VP nominee along with several other prominent republicans have just been attacked by what appears to be a pack of cats wearing "Save the Polar Bears" t-shirts under leather jackets. Some wore tiaras. One was in a Jedi robe carrying a light saber.

During the Bite & Run there were also cats, dogs and some wolves leading Whap & Run brigades, Poot & Run patrols and and the most appalling of all .... the Poop & Run teams stormed the convention hall.

Delegates fled the convention gagging. Cindy McCain's designer yellow shoes had to be thrown away. Secret service protected John McCain from an attack but he was seen having a temper tantrum after it. (After all, incase you have not heard by now, he was a POW.)

Unconfirmed witnesses also claim to have seen Bullwinkle Moose and Rocket J Squirrel with the cats. An inebriated delegate who wished to remain anonymous claims to also have seen Dino the dinosaur, from the Flintstones running with the cats. He also saw a dog in drag wearing fishnets and a glitter tee that said "save the wolves" who claimed to be Mike Huckabee's ex-bird dog.

The attack came unexpectedly while Palin was delivering her speech and stressing the importance of educating our youth that the earth is flat and this should be taught in schools.

She was about to give her recipe for moose and wolf stew when the cats appeared from nowhere and attacked. Palin was rushed to an undisclosed hospital and is in stable condition. Unlike other Bite & Runs, Palin did not loose any jewelry. Tom Delay did lose his toupee.

Karl Rove aka "turd blossom" was also attacked especially hard by the Poop & Run patrol. He blamed the liberal media for making the cats, known as the Pooses for Peace, celebrities and planning this commotion. He is also in stable condition but lost his blackberry in the attack. His shoes and suit had to be burned.

Crews are now at the scene of the attack lighting incense and fumigating the hall.

Extra security such as BLACKWATER was hired to be on the look-out for an attack by the cats. Authorities are baffled how they were able to pull off such a stunt. No cats were captured or arrested. Security cameras were turned off during the attack, thus there is no evidence at this time.

Spokes-poose Zevo Hussein Calamari issued a statement via satellite : " Bleeeee eeeeew uck..... cough.. what Bite and Run? ack ack ....hand me that tequila would you please. Who would vote for a gun toting woman that wears Wal-mart plastic bangles? ack ack... more tequila please."


Stay tuned to CNN for more coverage at the Republican Convention.
Coming up next... Bristol Palin gets mommy lessons from Britney Spears.

Nothing up my sleeve.........presto

FOX NEWS ALERT

Unconfirmed sources have reported that Bullwinkle the Moose and Rock J Squirrel have joined the Bite and Run Brigade of the infamous liberal terrorist heathen group known as The Pooses for Peace.

No word of why these two famous characters would want to be associated with the celebrity cats. Internet rumors claim that Bullwinkle wants revenge for the death of his cousin Ralph the Moose who was hunted and killed by Republican VP pick Sarah Palin.

Republicans are concerned that the cats and their cohorts may show up some time this week at the convention and cause trouble. Delegates and candidates are urged to wear ankle guards. Please leave your valuables locked in a safe place. Blackwater has been brought in for extra security.

Stay tuned for more FOX NEWS..... Next up... Sarah Palin talks about why the earth really is flat and dinosaurs are fictional...................


shhhhh! Zevo here.. just wanted to tell you that the Bite and Run Brigades are on Red Alert. Report to your commanding officers....

OH... and the pet human is working extra (AGAIN) this week. .. so we are really sorry if we cannot visit everyone. Plus she is still blaming the heat and the ghosts for not being able to be on the computer so much.

Still In Switzerland

Ciao ciao!

We are still in Switzerland, recovering from some plastic surgery and tummy tucks ..um ...i mean the stress of life. We all are going to look fabulous when we return to the states!

Everyone had such a wonderful time at Boo's party. We would like to thank all of you. If you did not attend please do read the posts below for details.

My pet human does not seem concerned about my blog. I feel it should be her most important priority...however she feels that working as much as she can is more important. And that is all she has been doing... well she worries a lot too, so there is not much time for anything else. I think she needs to re-watch The Secret, or take a vacation.

Also there is the small dilemma that the iMac is now in the "office" in the attic and it has been very hot up there. It is not good for the computer and we have been unable to visit blogs that have lots of stuff on them.

The pet human also claims there are ghost in the attic and is scared to be up there after 7:00pm. I think we have been living in Salem too long!

Have a wonderful weekend. We will try to visit. ... if we do not please understand!

xoxoxoxo
ciao ciao
zevo & the pooses for peace

We are experiencing technical difficulties and are unable to visit many blogs or post the latest updates on The Pooses for Peace (who are all still in Switzerland).

We are sorry we cannot visit your sites. Our old iMac does not have enough umph to open some of the more elaborate sites with videos, cool graphics, etc.

We are asking everyone NOT to send us any emails with attachments, forwarded emails with other peoples' email addresses stacked up in the cc box.

Have a wonderful week and we hope to remedy this situation soon.
xoxoxoxoxo
zevo & nubi's pet human

The Day After....

BBC
Monaco

Unconfirmed sources have reported that celebrity cat , Miss Boo of the infamous Pooses for Peace was given a topaz ring by George Clooney, last night at her surprise birthday gala No one knows if it was a generous friendship ring.... or something more serious. Clooney and Miss Boo were seen kissing and cuddling most of the night.

Dignitaries, diplomats and celebrities joined in the festivities for Miss Boo along with hundreds of her cat friends, and members of The Pooses for Peace.

Princess Caroline of Monaco hosted the gala at the Monaco Castle. Entertainment was provided by U2, Bette Midler and The Eagles and other musical friends of the cats.

An "all you can eat ham, cheese and chicken and catnip buffet" was provided by Rachel Ray. Al Gore gave the birthday speech and thanked Miss Boo and her partners Zevo Calamari and Miss Lucy Fur for the fine work the Pooses for Peace had done.

Presidential candidate Cheysuli was there with her bodyguard Jedi cat, Nubi wan Kenobi. Fashion icon Daisy the Curly Cat was seen dancing with Lux and later with Mickey. Kaze, Latte and Chase dined with Jennifer Aniston and consoled her all night as she was distraught about her break up with that John Mayer.

House of Versace provided couture for the cats. A dart game with Karl Rove's face on the board was given as a gift by Mr Hendrix and his twin Bendrix. Bendrix was asked by The Eagles to sing Happy Birthday to Boo. This was their way of forgiving him for trashing a guitar at their last concert.

Sammy, Miles and Billy all part of the Bite and Run & Poot and Run Brigades gave a Special Forces demonstration. Incense had to be lit after the Poot demonstration by Billie. A few glasses of champagne were whapped across the dance floor. No one was injured.

Newlyweds Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi flew in to Monaco after their wedding this past weekend to wish Boo and happy birthday. " I would not miss Boo's birthday for the world!" said DeGeneres. Later Kilroy , Adan and Fat Eric were seen dancing with the newly weds. Karen Jo was spotted with Tao and Sarge doing tequila shots. Bubba the cat brought Bonnie Raitt as his date.

There were so many cats present we apologize if we have not mentioned them all. Other cats seen were Zippy, Sadie, Zoey, Moki, Mrs Oz, Karl, the Topcats, The Hotcats, and too many more to remember.

The party lasted until dawn and there were hung over cats seen all over Monaco in the early morning. Monaco authorities report that some of the dignitaries invited by Princess Caroline reported missing earrings and bracelets. "Too much alcohol is to blame for this, not those dear cats." said Princess Caroline.

In unrelated news a few pieces of art and statues were said to be missing from the castle.

Miss Boo, Lucy Fur and Zevo Calamari have been seen checking into a clinic in Switzerland known for tummy tucks and youth serum treatments this morning. The cats deny the claim.

from monaco.....

happy birthday miss boo!

with love,
from all your friends

p.s. Thank you all for coming to the party tonight. The Castle at Monaco does not have DSL so we will not be able to post on other blogs until later this week. Enjoy the party!
xoxoxoxoo
the pooses for peace

You are invited to...

shhhh... it is a surprise party!

All pooses are invited to celebrate Miss Boo's 10th birthday given by the royalty of Monaco.

Tuesday August 19, 2008

Hors d'oeuvres at 7;00 pm
Dinner at 8:00 pm
Dancing and frivolity 9:00 pm -?

Please bring your own tiaras and top hats.
House of Versace will generously provide couture for all those pooses who attend.
All pooses are invited to stay at the castle.

We will be leaving for Italy tonight. George Clooney has invited us to stay with him this weekend. This will give
Miss Lucy Fur and myself time to prepare for the party. Boo will be too busy with George to notice. We will not be able to visit many blogs over the weekend.

Hope to see you all in Monaco! Just think of all the wonderful jewelry we can pilfer um, cough... i mean see.

ciao ciao
zevo