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Bite & Run at Gillette Stadium

ESPN BREAKING NEWS: Bite and Run Attack at Gillette Stadium
Foxborough, MA

In the last few minutes of the New England Patriots vs. San Diego Chargers game, hordes of cats wearing tiaras, one swinging a light saber and a black lab wearing fishnets with a sequined Bridget Moynahan t-shirt ran out onto the field of Gillette Stadium hoping to save the day for the San Diego Chargers. Unfortunately the Chargers still lost.

The victims of this latest Bite & Run attack were Tom Brady and Bill Belichick. In the owner's box, Gisele Bundchen, Brady's stick insect supermodel girlfriend and owner Robert Kraft were also bit. Other bite victims included the Patriot Cheerleaders. All were rushed to the Patriot Medical Center and are being treated for bites and scratches. Patriot fans have been assured that Tom Brady will be healed in time to play in the SuperBowl.

Unconfirmed sources claimed to have seen the cats race out of the stadium to a parked private jet, belonging to George Clooney. However since the witnesses were quite inebriated and had strong Boston accents, ("Dar is a jet paaaked ober da lot wit lots of cats wunning ta it") authorities could not get any useful leads.

Authorities report that several earrings belonging to Gisele and the cheerleaders, as well as a few SuperBowl rings, and Bill Belichick's spying camera are reported missing.

In other breaking news, Dr Phil was also a victim of a Bite & Run attack. Authorities believe it may be the work of Britney Spears.


zevo calamari said...

bleuuuuuuuuuckO...pass the tequila... i have a funky taste in my mouth... stetson cologne???????????????

off to switzerland!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
george is the best

nubi wan kenobi said...

This SuperBowl ring is heavy.. and it fits on my paw......

dude the bird dog said...

Do i look fat in these earrings?

The Meezers said...

and i thought cheerleader flesh would taste better. it tasted kind of like ------ silicone. - Miles

Miss Lucy Fur said...

I'm soooo glad we made it out of Gillette Stadium this evening. those Patriot fans are really scary. they boo, even when they've won.

I'll send Tom Brady some flowers from Bridget right after I gargle some bubbly from George's champagne cellar.

Anyone seen my tiara? What should I do with all these gray hooded sweatshirts with the arms cut off? They really stink!

ciao Baby,

Lucy Fur

Cheysuli and gemini said...

Perhaps it is really Brittney who is doing all the bite and run stuff? Well it could be suggested...

Chen & Ollie said...

Good work, gang! Especially on Dr. Phil!!
Mr. Chen & Ollie

snowforest said...

Way to go kitties you did it again ~ wish we were there to witness it all ;)
Love and purrs from the SnowForest family :)