ESPN BREAKING NEWS: Bite and Run Attack at Gillette Stadium
In the last few minutes of the New England Patriots vs. San Diego Chargers game, hordes of cats wearing tiaras, one swinging a light saber and a black lab wearing fishnets with a sequined Bridget Moynahan t-shirt ran out onto the field of Gillette Stadium hoping to save the day for the San Diego Chargers. Unfortunately the Chargers still lost.
The victims of this latest Bite & Run attack were Tom Brady and Bill Belichick. In the owner's box, Gisele Bundchen, Brady's
Unconfirmed sources claimed to have seen the cats race out of the stadium to a parked private jet, belonging to George Clooney. However since the witnesses were quite inebriated and had strong Boston accents, ("Dar is a jet paaaked ober da lot wit lots of cats wunning ta it") authorities could not get any useful leads.
Authorities report that several earrings belonging to Gisele and the cheerleaders, as well as a few SuperBowl rings, and Bill Belichick's
In other breaking news, Dr Phil was also a victim of a Bite & Run attack. Authorities believe it may be the work of Britney Spears.