And now a word from your elected pooses......

On behalf of all pooses we urge you to help homeless, hungry pooses everywhere by supporting your local animal shelters. This holiday season make a orphan poose happy by adopting it or donating food.

This message has been approved by the newly elected senators and congress-pooses of Pooses for Peace.

Click here to see some nice shelter pooses at www.nsalemerica.org

www.planetcalamari.com

happy birthday bjork!

On behalf of all Pooses... we would like to wish a happy birthday to one of our favorite fashion icons.... BJORK.

Bjork will be performing at the Thanksgiving day Poose Gala to benefit needy homeless pooses. Tickets can be purchased at the Brothel Calamari. For more details please call 1-800-BOO-ZEVO

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shhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shhh!.... i am hiding from Zevo. I borrowed some money from her. She has plenty now that she sold that painting... i can't believe she can be so stingy with it.
I have to start my holiday shopping and stock up on Coronas for Thanksgiving dinner.

remember... i am not here
love
nubi wan kenobi

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Tonight on ET...Oprah's Revenge....

Tonight on ET!
Don't miss the exclusive footage of Tom Cruise being bit by a cat in a bridesmaid's dress during his wedding vows!

Hear Oprah's latest comments on how she was shunned by Tom and Katie ....and how she planned her revenge with the help of her friend, Lucy Fur.

Also on tonight's edition....Madonna adopts another poose-baby from Africa...stay tuned.....

ET brought to you by Planet Calamari

Celebrating the sale of the Goya painting...

I am waiting to hear from Zevo..... Soon we will be celebrating a wonderful business transaction. Those silly FBI agents can be soooo naive. The Goya painting is now in the hands of another famous cat burglar who lives on a remote island. And we now have all the money we need to open the Hamburger Mary's in Salem and buy enough Manolos for the rest of the winter season!

Lucy Fur is in Italy at TomKat's wedding. Oprah is pretty upset she was not invited. Lucy promised to bite Tom for her during the nuptials. That should make a great picture for the cover of PEOPLE.

Happy Saturday... aren't you glad Mercury is no longer retrograde?
ciao
boo
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Famed Cat Burglar Missing

11-17-06 (undisclosed location)
what painting?
love
zevo
ps. extradition is not an option!

Poose-cam live from an unknown island is brought to you by Planet Calamari

Goya Painting Suspected to be in Salem, MA

AP
Salem, MA
The FBI said they have a few leads on the stolen Goya painting. The main suspect is said to live in Salem, MA and may have it hanging in her office. Rumors are that it is the famed cat burglar Zevo Calamari and her pack of wild friends. No names have been released. A press conference will be held tomorrow at noon in front of the Bewitched statue.

Poose-cam live from Salem brought to you by Planet Calamari

and now a word from our sponsor....

25% Off Greeting Cards & Ornaments plus Free Shipping* For The Holidays
Get 25% off meaningful Greeting Cards and Ornaments. Add that to Free Shipping for orders of $50 and more, and you've got yourself one great deal!

My pet human is black-mailing me... if i don't let her post this she may call the FBI about a certain new painting hanging in my office......
So shop with your favorite poose at Planet Calamari....the official sponsor of this blog!

shop until you drop,
love
zevo


* 25% off discount valid through 11/19/2006 and applies to Greeting Cards regularly priced $15 or less, Oval Ornaments regularly priced $10 or less and Round Ornaments regularly priced $10 or less. Free Flat Shipping valid on orders of $50 and more. Orders must exceed the $50 total after any eligible discounts and before adding tax. This Free Shipping promo is valid through 12/20/2006.

Goya 228-year Old Painting Stolen

What painting?.....never saw it....with all this remodeling up in the brothel how can i keep track of a silly little painting?
www.washingtonpost.com

ciao
zevo
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Lucy Fur on MSNBC COUNTDOWN

Senator Lucy Fur was on Countdown last night promoting her new book, "Biting the Enemy: The Truth behind Rummy's Demise"
Asked about the law suit she is facing, Lucy replied she is not worried about it at all and is more concerned about what she will wear to Tom and Katie's wedding this weekend in Italy.
Later on the show Lucy flirted and invited Keith to the grand opening of Hamburger Mary's in Salem, MA on New Year's eve (without his girlfriend)
His reply was Good Night and Good Luck.

Olbermann also declared Rumsfeld the Worst Person in the World as well as K-Fed the most pathetic person on the planet.

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Democrats award Lucy Fur Purple Heart

AP
Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi have awarded Miss Lucy Fur the Purple Heart medal for her courageous act of bravery challenging Donald Rumsfeld to step down. Unconfirmed sources claim that Rumsfeld had to have 10 stitches in an undisclosed area of his body and is taking pain medication. Karl Rove and Darth Cheney have been in protective custody since the incident.

Meanwhile Senator Boo is in Vietnam negotiating the release of Poose POWs, (and searching for cool jewelry)

Poose-cam live from Washington DC brought to you by Planet Calamari

Nancy Pelosi loses earrings at Victory Gala

OK.......Very Funny..... Where are my earrings, Speaker Zevo Calamari? By the way Ted is missing his watch too. Tell Senator Lucy Fur we appreciate her help in eliminating Rummy.

Poose-cam live from Washington D.C. brought to you by Planet Calamari

The day after the Victory Party

Oh........ my head. The room is still spinning. What a hangover. I was out partying all night with Ted Kennedy and Nancy Pelosi.
Somone bring me some asprin and coffee
and a trash can......

zevo

Pooses for Peace Party win control!

AP
It's official. The Pooses for Peace party have won control over both the House and the Senate in sweeping victory over the Republicans. Speaker of the House Zevo Calamari has promised better wages for poose substitutes, healthcare and a home for all homeless pooses. Senator Lucy Fur took responsiblity for biting Donald Rumsfeld on the ankles and other undisclosed areas of his body until he conceded to step down. Senator Boo from CA is working on a law that would give illegal poose aliens amnesty after 5 years of working. Senator Tao along with CongressPooses Nubi Wan Kenobi and Paris have promised to mend the bad reputation of this country with the rest of the world.
All agree that the chimp look alike in the White House should be replaced with a real chimp.

Poose-cam live from Washington D.C. brought to you byPlanet Calamari

Poose Victory Celebration

click here and sing along!

Thank you for voting!

Zevo Calamari and The Pooses for Peace Party

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Zevo Calamari on the Daily Show

If you missed last night's Daily Show make sure you watch the rerun.
Zevo Calamari, spokes-poose for Pooses for Peace pleaded with American Pooses to get out there and vote. She encouraged all pooses to make their pet humans vote for a pawsitive change. She called in the Bite Patrol Squad to guard over the polling places to ensure that this time there would be no cheating or voting irregularities. Poose lawyers are standing by.

Poose-cam live from NY brought to you by Planet Calamari

calling all pooses to vote!

Tomorrow is Election Day. On behalf of the Planet, all Pooses and Humans we beseech all pooses to get out there and vote. If you see humans cheating at the polls, make sure the cheaters are bit. Call in the Bite Patrol Squad.

Urge your Pet Humans to vote for a pawsitive change in this country. Vote for the leaders who care about the planet, nature and a peaceful co-existance with ALL.
Looking forward to a Victory celebration soon!
Love
Zevo Calamari
Pooses for Peace

lunch at the ritz

Our room here at the Ritz in Laguna is spectacular. We are planning a nice quiet weekend of R&R to recover from all the Halloween festivities in the past week. Lots of massages, maybe a mani and a pedi, long walks on the beach and of course some shopping. There are so many nicely dressed ladies here wearing stunning jewelry.................

As our friend Jimmy Buffet would say "The weather is here... I wish you were beautiful."

ciao until monday!
love
zevo, boo & lucy

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Zevo...call me.
My Poose sitter Rachel is on to me. I really like her. She's a great cook and doesn't seem to mind that i drink champagne in bed.
See if you can hire a really good sub for me so we can take off for Laguna. Lucy said that there is really good jewelry in Vietnam..... maybe we should go see my pet human while she is there.
I know she misses me.
Call me....
love
boo

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dr dolittle and zevo calamari

I cannot believe some of the things my pet human makes me do. She really needs to get a life.

I think Miss Lucy is right... we all need some R&R after all the parties this past month. Since we are no longer welcome at the Rancho la Puerta in Mexico, or Johnny Depp's get away in France i think we should stay at the Ritz Carlton in Laguna for a few days.

Then i must get back to remodel the brothel & casino for the holidays. The Hamburger Mary's of Salem needs to be open before New Years Eve.
So rest up girls... we have work to do!
love
zevo

feliz dia de los muertos

Every year on the Feast of the Day of the Dead Frida Kahlo and her Gato de Diablo return to dance and celebrate with the living. In honor of all pooses have departed please light a candle tonight and put out a dish of their favorite food.

happy halloween

Happy Halloween or Samhain as we say in Salem, MA ...the black cat capital of the world!
Here is Salem, cats are known as familars when they live with a witch, so we are very popular bunch of pooses!

Tonight is the Halloween Poose Ball. Hoping to see all our celebrity friends Johnny, George, Nicole,Tim, Oprah, The Dixie Chicks, etc..... (and looking forward to scoring some cool earrings!)
ciao for now
love
zevo & boo & lucy

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ghost of lucille ball's cat

The ghost of Lucille Ball's cat was seen in Hillcest, CA this past Halloween eve. The Ghost Buster team was called in from Salem MA to investigate this para-normal poose event.
Poose-cam live from Hillcrest, CA By Planet Calamari

Ghost Pooses of Salem

AP
SALEM, MA
The Ghost Buster team was sent into Salem last evening to investigate poose ghost sightings at the House of the Seven Gables. Details of this para-normal event are still sketchy at this hour.
Madame Zevo Calamari of the Poose Ghost Tours of Salem claim these ghosts seen are the pooses of Nathaniel Hawthorne.

boooooo!!!!!!! boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Poose Psychic Faire in Salem, MA

Madame Zevo Calamari reading the tarot at the Poose Psychic Faire today in Salem.

"I see tuna in your future, a new birdie toy and a bag of cat nip...."

Mayor loses earrings at Poose Vampire Ball

WHERE ARE MY EARRINGS?

AP Salem, MA
Mayor Driscoll arrived at last night's Poose Vampire Ball wearing a lovely pair of diamond earrings and matching bracelet. Driscoll seemed in good spirits and was said to have a wonderful time most of the night.

After dancing the Time Warp with the cast of the Rocky Horror Show and friends of Zevo Calamari's she was heard screaming "Where are my earrings??????"
Zevo Calamari could not be reached for comments this morning.

Poose-cam live from Salem, MA brought to you by Planet Calamari

Pooses do the Time Warp

AP
SALEM, MA
Unconfirmed sources have reported an influx of hundreds of pooses entering Salem last night and this morning planning to attend the Annual Poose Vampire Ball.

The original cast members of The Rocky Horror Picture Show have rented the gymnasium of Salem High school today to teach pooses the proper way to dance the Time Warp. The ball begins at 9pm at the Hawthorne Hotel and it is by invitation only. The mayor of Salem has brought in extra security for this event. Hosts, Zevo, Boo and Lucy have assured the mayor that it will be a peaceful event for all and even invited Mayor Driscoll to attend.
So far the mayor could not be reached for comment.

Poose-cam live from Salem by Planet Calamari

Poose Vampire Ball

Hordes of pooses and celebrities have been seen wandering through Salem, MA in anticipation of the annual Poose Vampire Ball held at the haunted Hawthorne Hotel this Saturday night. Rumors that the cast of Dark Shadows, the original cast from The Rocky Horror Show will attend, as well as Anne Rice, Stephen King, Brad Pitt with out Angelina & kids, and Tim Burton.

The mayor of Salem has issued a warning to all residents to keep all valuable jewelry in a safe deposit box for the weekend.

Dr Phil is hurt by nasty comment

Miss Lucy,

I am shocked at your comments. I do NOT give out carrots and celery for Halloween. And I am quite hurt that I am not invited to your poose party.

By the way, how about coming on my show and starting a cat fight next week with Naomi Cambell? Think about it.. my people will call your people.

I forgive you,
Dr Phil

Madonna loses earrings on Oprah...

Boo,
Honey........ I think you forgot to give me back the earrings you "borrowed" while we were taping the Oprah Show.

If I can fix this adopted poose-baby mess by the weekend I will be at Zevo's Halloween Bash.
(You can return those earrings then.)

Thanks luv,

Madonna

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happy national acupuncture day

And now a commercial for my pet human!
Happy National Acupuncture Day. Acupuncture is not only for humans. It works even better on all pooses, cats, dogs, horses, pigs, goats, llamas and even a push-you-pull-me!
Enjoy!

love
zevo

Visit Planet Calamari to see more acupuncture and far out art!

Jeanie Marie Kraft, Lic.Ac. is keeping tails wagging on the North Shore of MA with canine acupuncture house-calls. ( and sometimes even feline house-calls!)
For more information please visit Four Paws Acupuncture

Boo and Lucy to Join Madonna on Oprah

Tomorrow Lucy and i will be on Oprah with Madonna. I really wanted to wear this tiara but i do not want to upset Miss Lucy. ....she has been so faithful taking her medication. (Tho i bet she would not mind going back into rehab now that Keith Urban is there.)
I guess i will just have to wear a simple pair of earrings....hmmmmm i wonder which ones Oprah will be wearing?

ciao for now
boo

Poose-cam live from Hillcrest, CA brought to you by Planet Calamari

I am trying to decide what to wear to the Vampire Poose Ball this weekend. I borrowed Nubi's Count Poosula costume. I think with a nice pair of strappy black Manolos and long gloves this might work. If only Boo were here to help me. She and Lucy will not arrive until later this week. They are both with Madonna helping her sort out the messy poose-baby adoption matter.

ciao
zevo

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HELP WANTED

Calling all unemployed pooses! The party season is upon us and we are looking for substitute pooses to work full or part time through out the rest of this year. Experience is a plus. Must have references and a Substitite Poose license.
Please send all resumes to PO BOX POOSE, Salem MA 01970

The Calamari Institute of Substitute Pooses is now offering an Sub-Poose Intensive from November 1-8, 2006 for all pooses looking for a new career. Course will cover all basics and will qualify you to sit for the Substitute Poose Boards. Hurry call now... our admission reps are standing by. Hablamos Espanol!

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tormenting the blog jedi master

Our pet human is so easily amused. I am so glad that she put these Mickey Mouse ears on Nubi instead of me. He deserves to be taunted. Tho... he doesn't seem to care. I will have to find other ways to torment him. Soon Boo and Lucy will be here.. i am sure they know some fun ways we can pick on him. He gets way too much attention from my humans. They should ignore him all the time and think of me...me......me.........

I do hope she buys me a decent witch hat. .....after all we do live in Salem.
Bring me my broomstick.

love
zevo
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zevo's tattoo

I would like to thank everyone for the flowers, cards, balloons, and boxes of get well cat nip. I am feeling so much better. Amazing what a bit of R&R can do for a girl. And since i conned my pet human into taking me to the vet for a free belly wax, i was able to sneak off later and get the tattoo i wanted.

I think it is best if we postpone the opening of Hamburger Mary's in Salem. There is too much to be done and this week is a major party week in Salem. So i will be hosting the Zevo Calamari Celebrity Halloween Bash at Brothel Calamari instead.
Boo and Lucy will be here and we are all waiting for RSVPS from our guests.
ciao for now....
zevo
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The Siamese Cat Song Lyrics

We are Siameeiz if you pleeiz
We are Siameeiz if you don't please
We are former residents of Siam
There are no finer cats than we am
We are Siamese with very dainty claws
Please observing paws containing dainty claws
Now we lookin' over our new domicile
If we like we stay for maybe quite a while

click here to hear the tune

Since i am under the weather i am making my pet human sing this too me. Too bad she sings like Yoko Ono.
love
zevo

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I am taking the day off... feeling a bit under the weather. I think i had way too much champagne last night .Hoping the rest of you continue to keep working so we can get Hamburger Mary's open by Halloween.
ciao ciao
zevo
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The Good Witch responds

"Oh rubbish! You have no power here! Be gone, before somebody drops a house on you!"

Karl Rove threatens liberal pooses....

I'm warning you liberal pooses.....LEAVE MY DOG out of this! ...Or else it is Gitmo for all of you.....
And for the record...he is not gay, never has worn fishnets and there are weapons of mass destruction.

Visit Planet Calamari... a very liberal planet accepting of all alternative lifstyles....

zevo,

please call me... your crazy (and need i say drunk) jedi roomie has tied up the email and internet system..........
we have work to do...bars to build, menus to plan and parties to crash....

love
boo
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jedi blog master drunk

just can't thunk how to type now? the kiyboard is blurrrrrrie

nubi

what earrings part II

I know for a fact that Boo is innocent. I am certain that Barney Bush stole Bab's earrings and that he was in drag....i think i saw Karl Rove's dog with him wearing black fishnets and platforms, very Rocky Horror.

ciao
zevo

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what earrings?

Miss Lucy.... i have NO idea what you are talking about.
love
boo

Babs lashes out

AP
Last night at a private NY performance to benefit homeless pooses Barbra Streisand lashed out at a heckler in the crowd before singing "Pooses, who need Pooses, are the luckiest pooses ... in the world...."

Later she was heard screaming "Where the F#!* are my earrings!"

Famed pooses, Zevo, Boo and Miss Lucy who attended the concert have no comment and could not be found anywhere in NY this morning.

Poose-cam live from NY, NY by Planet Calamari, Planet Calamari

Oprah is IN!

A NYC update for you girls,

Attended last night's Barbra Streisand concert at the Garden with Oprah. She was wearing a beautiful black and White Carolina Herrera gown with her emeralds and thought I'd look stunning draped around her neck and/or lounging in her lap during the concert. (I looked phenomenal).

We had a late supper at Nobu and she agreed to invest in our Salem Hamburger Mary restaurant if she could pick the chef. I said, "Hey, what the hell..." So, she ponied up a cool million.

Rosie O'Donnell was there as well and wanted to get in on the action. She also wanted to adopt some pooses and will be contacting you two for prospective furry ones.

Gotta go, Oprah's chef is on the speaker phone.

Ciao Meow,

Lucy
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Madonna Adopts African Poose Baby

Looks like Kabbalah just increased its devotees by one.

After a week of increasingly implausible denials and "no comments," a Malawi high court judge has managed to do what Madonna would not: confirm that the singer and husband Guy Ritchie have adopted a one-year-old male cat.

Unconfirmed sources report that Boo and Zevo asked Madonna to help out with the Salem Hamburger Mary project and were turned down by the pop diva. Miss Lucy is now said to be negotiating with her dear friend Oprah for more funding.

Poose-cam live from Africa brought to you by
Planet Calamari

elton john helps out

AP
Salem Poose sources have confirmed that Elton John donated an undisclosed amount of money to the building of the Salem Hamburger Mary's. John, a personal friend of Zevo Calamari's will also be a part of the entertainment on the opening night. No word of when the actual opening will be, as Salem City officials and locals are concerned about the influx of drunk pooses and the gay men the joint will attract.

Zevo Calamari and friends are hoping to make Salem into a Hillcrest, San Diego type environment. "You can only take so many tacky witch shops and ghost tours. We need some class and good taste in this town" Zevo was heard saying.
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De Niro Invests in Poose Project

Hey Girls,

I have been in NYC meeting with De Niro and his people about investing in a Salem Hamburger Mary's. Wolfgang and Springsteen got wind of the meeting and are trying to get in on the ground floor. wolfgang wants a pizza oven (I said NO) and Bruce wants a back room for the E St. Band (I said "of course").

Paris Hilton is starting to get annoying. She wants to invest but thinks Hamburger Mary's is a Drive Thru! How does that girl ever get a date???

I'll keep you posted.

Kiss, Kiss,

Lucita

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The real story about Columbus

Happy Columbus Day. The real story behind Columbus discovering America is that his cat, Regina Zevo was actually the one who saw the shore first and bit him until he turned the ships around to land. Legends tell of other cats on the ships as well, Senorita Boolita, Senorita Lucita and a Santa Nubius who played a vital part in the discovering of America.

In honor of Columbus day and my distant relative Regina Zevo, i have decided to discover a place to build the new Hamburger Mary's here in Salem. I have sent Miss Lucyfur out to find investors. Boo will join me soon in the planning. I might even let Nubee help if he is nice. ( I might need a Jedi poose for something)

Enjoy the holiday,

zevo

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