URGENT POOSE NEWS

Well it seems that the Decider Chimp is at it again. Guess that he is not satisfied with all the destruction and mayhem he has caused in Iraq.....so he has decided that soon it will be OK to go out and kill wolves.

Now.... as a rule, we don't hang out with wolves. We don't invite them to our parties and we try to avoid roaming through Yellowstone. We would love to invite them to join our Bite Patrol.....but we are not sure if they would bite us as well! However, they are stunning creatures and do deserve to live their lives without being chased by men with guns as a sport.

Please have your pet humans sign this petition to save the wolves from the Chimp and his gun-toting goons.

Visitwww.nrdconline.org
to learn more and sign the petition.

We are all in this together. Who knows.... soon the Chimp may decide that hunting cats would be a great idea!
Thank you,
The Pooses for Peace

Happy Birthday Ted Kennedy!
xoxoxoxoxo
The Pooses for Peace

We are so sorry we are still here in San Diego recovering at the Golden Door Spa and not able to join our good friend Senator Kennedy for a few shots of scotch in honor of his birthday. We would like to thank him for all his help in the past with Homeland Security, the Fidel Castro incident, and of course his stance to defend our rights lately in Congress against the spying chimp!

We are resting up, catching up on our beauty naps for the Oscars. George Clooney is taking Miss Boo as his guest. Johnny has invited the rest of us to join him on the red carpet.

Oh..... Donnatella is on the other line.......
Ciao bella! Ho bisogno di un abito da indossare per la Oscars!

xoxoxoxo
zevo

Almost Paradise

We are taking a much needed break at The Golden Door Spa in Escondido CA. All that toxicity in our bodies from yesterday's Bite & Run has taken a toll on us.

For the next few days we will rejuvenate with organic tuna juice, massages, acupuncture and yoga. ........ and sun! The Detox specialist has recommended a round of chelation therapy and milk thistle smoothies to rid our bodies of chimp poisoning and tequila.

It is so nice to be back in SoCal. I was born in Escondido. I really miss the sun and the Mexican food, but suburban life was a bit too dull for me. It was way more fun to live in Hillcrest near Boo and Miss Lucy. Oh Aunty Em..... there is no place like San Diego!

Time for yoga!

Namsate
zevo & The Pooses for Peace

Happy President's Day

xoxoxooxox
The Bite Patrol

Calling from San Diego

Zevo..... call me. Thanks to the House Democrats who grew a spine and refused to cave in on the FISA revision, we can now talk on the phone for at least 10 days without the Decider Chimp and his Goons listening in! Before leaving for their Spring break Congress sent a message to the Chimp via Rep. Silvestre Reyes, chair of the House Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence, "We cannot allow ourselves to be scared into suspending the Constitution. If we do that, we might as well call the terrorists and tell them that they have won." (na na na na na!)

We can say words like weapons of mass destruction when we are complaining about Nubi being a poose-head. Now we can discuss a biological warfare attack on your pet human with dander while she is sleeping. And when the Meezers let off a poot bomb, we can finally talk about it!

What do you think about celebrating Presidents Day with a festive Bite The President day? Give me a call......
ciao ciao
boo

Happy Valentine's Day to All!

everyone sing along...

Love, love, love, love,
love, love, love, love, love.
There's nothing you can do that can't be done.
Nothing you can sing that can't be sung.
Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game
It's easy.
There's nothing you can make that can't be made.
No one you can save that can't be saved.
Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be in time
It's easy.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
There's nothing you can know that isn't known.
Nothing you can see that isn't shown.
Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be.
It's easy.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
All you need is love (all together now)
All you need is love (everybody)
All you need is love, love,
love is all you need.
-the beatles

Betrayed

Poose Press
Washington DC

It was a bloody day for those sell-out traitor Senators who voted in favor of allowing US citizens to be illegally spied on the telecom corporations. To condense what really happened today in the Senate we were betrayed. Yes.....Sad to say we lost our battle. Can you believe that the people your pet humans voted for actually think it is OK for the US government to listen in to their phone calls and read their emails. And we are sure they are reading this blog post right now!!!!!!!!!!!!

But.....take heart dear pooses, November is not that far away! Here are the heros who stood for our rights today. These dear souls were not bit! In fact we all made an effort to kiss and purr them when while we attacked everyone else not listed.

Thank you, to the Senators listed below who voted for NO to immunity to those nasty telecom corps who illegally spied on US citizens. (All others are now in critical condition at Walter Reed Hospital for cuts, scratches and allergic reactions. If your Senator is not listed they arte now considered a traitor by the Pooses for Peace!)

OUR HEROS!

Akaka (D-HI)
Baucus (D-MT)
Biden (D-DE)
Bingaman (D-NM)
Boxer (D-CA)
Brown (D-OH)
Byrd (D-WV)
Cantwell (D-WA)
Cardin (D-MD)
Casey (D-PA)
Dodd (D-CT) xoxoxox
Dorgan (D-ND)
Durbin (D-IL)
Feingold (D-WI) xoxoxox
Harkin (D-IA)
Kennedy (D-MA) xoxoxoxo
Kerry (D-MA)
Klobuchar (D-MN)
Lautenberg (D-NJ)
Leahy (D-VT)
Levin (D-MI)
Menendez (D-NJ)
Murray (D-WA)
Obama (D-IL) Lookie... Obama voted for Us! Hillary didn't even bother to show up!
Reed (D-RI)
Reid (D-NV)
Sanders (I-VT)
Schumer (D-NY)
Tester (D-MT)
Whitehouse (D-RI)
Wyden (D-OR)

In other news there is a report that several of the skeletons of the dinosaurs and prehistoric lizards are now missing from the The National Museum of Natural History. Pooses for Peace Spokes-poose has issued a statement. "What lizards? What skeletons? Do you like this dress with the leather jacket?"

Poose-cam live from Washington DC is brought to you by
The Planet Calamari Shop

FISA FIGHT...... again..........

Shhhhh...... i need my beauty rest. So many parties so little rest. Tomorrow i must lead the Bite & Run Special Forces into another battle on Capitol Hill.

As my soon to be boyfriend um, political advisor, Keith Olbermann announced on Friday, "Tuesday we have the FISA vote. If the Democrats cave in, and they create a shield for the telecomms from lawsuits filed by Americans, never mind any prosecution, but just the civil action, does that mean the end of possibly any inquiry in any way, shape, or form into that illegal wiretapping and whatever the next stage might be of monitoring of Internet and phone communications?"

So this means we are all on Bite Alert.
Bite & Run Brigades please report to your posts.
Special Whapping Patrols please report to Generals Miles and Sammy.
Please remember to wear your black leather jackets...fashion is everything when you are starting a revolution!

These Senators listed below are the ones who feel it is OK for US citizens to be spied on ILLEGALLY by telecom corporations. (You would think after that last Bite & Run they would have changed their minds!) Please have your pet humans call them to remind them who votes them in office and NO NO NO on telecom immunity! (Be nice on the phone...leave the biting to us on the floor of Congress!)

Afterwards we will have a special belated birthday celebration for Daisy the Curly Cat... one of our most fashionable biters at the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History, Special Lizard Room. Tequila and Nip-tinis will be served.

Pooses.....Sharpen your claws, teeth and roll in extra dust. We are prepared to take on these traitors!

• Bayh (202) 224-5623 phone, (202) 228-1377 fax
• Byrd (202) 224-3954 phone, (202) 228-0002 fax
• Carper (202) 224-2441 phone, (202) 228-2190 fax
• Feinstein (202) 224-3841 phone, (202) 228-3954 fax Bite extra hard!!!!!!!!
  
• Inouye (202) 224-3934 phone, (202) 224-6747 fax
• Johnson (202) 224-5842 phone, (605) 341-2207 fax
• Kohl (202) 224-5653 (202) 224-9787
• Landrieu (202)224-5824 phone, (202) 224-9735 fax
• Lincoln (202) 224-4843 phone, (202) 228-1371 fax
• McCaskill (202) 224-6154 phone, (202) 228-6326 fax
• Mikulski (202) 224-4654 phone, (202) 224-8858 fax
• Nelson (FL) (202) 224-5274 phone, (202) 228-2183 fax
• Nelson (NE) (202) 224-6551 phone, (202) 228-0012 fax
• Pryor (202) 224-2353 phone, (202) 228-0908 fax
• Rockefeller, (202) 224-6472 phone, (202) 224-7665 fax
• Salazar (202) 224-5852 phone, (202) 228-5036 fax
• Stabenow (202) 224-4822 phone, (202) 228-0325 fax
• Chambliss (202) 224-3521 phone, (202) 224-0103 fax
• Coleman (202) 224-5641 phone, (202) 224-1152 fax
• Collins (202) 224-2523 phone, (202) 224-2693 fax
• Dole (202) 224-6342 phone, (202) 224-1100 fax
• Graham (202) 224-5972 phone, (202) 224-3808 fax
• Lieberman (202) 224-4041 phone, (202) 224-9750 fax
• McCain (202) 224-2235 phone, (202) 228-2862 fax
• Smith (202) 224-3753 phone, (202) 228-3997 fax
• Snowe (202) 224-5344 phone, (202) 224-1946 fax
• Sununu (202) 224-2841 phone, (202) 228-4131 fax
• Warner (202) 224-2023 phone, (202) 224-6295 fax

Could someone please turn the lights out and wake me when it is time to go..........
xoxoxox
zevo

SUSPENDED ?

BREAKING CNN NEWS

Mitt Romney suspended his presidential campaign Thursday, telling a stunned conservative group that continuing his uphill battle against John McCain would hurt the Republican Party and make it more likely that the Pooses for Peace candidate would win the general election in November.

“If I fight on in my campaign, all the way to the convention … I’d forestall the launch of a national campaign and, frankly, I’d be making it easier for Cheysuli to win. Frankly, in this time of war, I simply cannot let my campaign be a part of aiding a surrender to pacifists terrorists.”

Unconfirmed staff members report that Romney was terrified that he would be bit again by the infamous Bite & Run Brigade and wore ankle guards at all times. Another source claims that Romney was also haunted by a ghost dog. Apparently Zevo Calamari, one of the founders of Pooses for Peace had conjured up the ghost of his dead dog Seamus at a seance. Since then Romney has not been able to sleep for fear the ghost dog would bite him. Romney's physician has confirmed that he is allergic to cats and must now take antihistamines as a preventative against the biological dander warfare.

Presidential Candidate Mike Huckabee has confirmed that Zevo Calamari is a witch and practices her magic in Salem. Earlier this year Huckabee's dog, Dude ran off with The Pooses for Peace and was later adopted by Liza Minelli. Huckabee states that Dude was seduced by a cult of heathen cats led by Miss Calamari and her friends.

Miss Zevo Calamari dressed in a red versace dress with matching Jimmy Choo ruby slippers appeared to make a brief statement. "I am very busy and important and have no time for such trivial accusations. Mitt who? How do you like this dress? Have a Happy Year of the Rat! I am late for my party.. Gung Hay Fat Choy!"

Happy Year of the Rat

You are invited to celebrate Chinese New Year
at the Casino Calamari
Thursday 2-7-08
7:00pm-?

In honor of the Year of the Rat we will have an all you can eat Mouse Buffet which includes Moo Goo Mouse, Mouse Fried Rice, General Gua's Mouse, Mongolian Mouse, Kung Pao Mouse, Mouse Chow Mein and Bean Curd Mouse with mixed vegetables.

Open bar includes Ginseng Nip-tini's, Mai Tais, Corona and Jose Cuervo Red.

The Lion Dance will be performed by The Kung Poose Dancing Troupe, mostly made up of Pooses for Peace members.

A special performance by ex-Mouseketeers Justin Timberlake and Christina Aguilera will follow!

Call to reserve your space! 1-800-Rat-Year
Please wear red!

Gung Hay Fat Choy
Wishing you a happy and prosperous Year of the Rat!

VOTE

The Pooses for Peace are reminding everyone to VOTE!
A Vote for Cheysuli is a Pawsitive Vote.
We want change!

Tomorrow we will resume our battle in the Senate fighting against illegal spying on US citizens. Our Bite Patrols will be on alert. Special Forces are standing by!

So many ankles........ so little time.

Associated Press
New Orleans

The infamous Pooses for Peace had several floats in this year's Mardi Gras parade. Cats wearing tiaras were seen throwing pink and purple beads to the crowds. On another float, Dude the Bird Dog danced with a drag queen dressed as Liza Minelli. The Bite Patrol marched beside each float wearing their trademark black leather jackets.

Unconfirmed sources have reported the cats left the festivities early so that they could monitor the FISA hearings today in the Senate. Bite Patrol Brigades are on stand by. The only hope is that their pet humans will call their Senators once again to remind them to vote for NO immunity for the telecom companies that have spied on them. Spookes-poose Zevo Calamari issued a warning statement to the Senate " Either vote in favor of the rights of the USA citizens by voting NO to immunity to these big corporations or prepare to be bit! This time we shall show no mercy!"

Special forces led my Jedi Nubi wan Kenobi will be on the campaign trail today protecting Presidential hopeful Cheysuli. No word on whether they will be at today's Senate brawl session.

ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT

Friday night's Birthday bash for celebrity cat, Miss Lucy Fur at Mo's in Hillcrest was halted at 2:00 am when San Diego police were called in for a disturbance of the peace and reports of a possible riot.

At this time, the facts of the situation remain unclear. Unconfirmed sources claim they witnessed Hillary Clinton taunting rival Presidential Candidate Cheysuli about her hair, when Chey's bodyguard, Jedi Poose Nubi wan Kenobi stepped in and bit her. A fight then broke out between the body guards of Hillary and Chey. Several of Clinton's bodyguards were taken to UCSD Medical Hospital for severe cuts, scratches and light-saber wounds.

In another incident, Keith Olbermann's girlfriend was bit by Zevo Calamari. Miss Calamari has been said to have a huge crush on Keith and felt he should dump his stick insect gal pal for her.

BFF, Miss Boo was seen doing the macarana with Barack Obama while Miss Lucy Fur danced the night away with the Queen's corgis.

Liza Minelli and her adopted son, Dude the Bird Dog were part of the entertainment. All sang happy Birthday to Miss Lucy as Bubba the cat played drums while Bill Clinton joined in with his sax.

No cats were arrested as they fled the scene immediately and were said to have hopped a private jet bound for New Orleans.

No comment has been made by the Clinton Camp.

Coming up next...... Dr Phil miffed he was not invited to Birthday Bash.................

Happy Birthday Miss Lucy Fur!

All pooses invited! See you there..... dress is California Casual!
Please do NOT mention Dr Phil tonight............
ciao ciao
zevo & boo

I hope you can ALL come to help me celebrate tonight! The corgis are coming, along with Keith Olberman. Hillary and Barack will drop by around midnight to take a welcome break from their campaigning in California before Super Tuesday!
love
miss lucy fur

WHAT MONETS?

MISSING MONETS

Associated Press
Washington, DC

The National Gallery of Art in Washington, DC has reported two Monet paintings missing. The original Banks of the Seine and The Houses of Parliament were replaced by paint by number versions. The switch went undetected until last night when a bored security guard examined the paintings close up. Authorities are baffled on how this heist was pulled off. Security cameras had been shut off and appear to have paw prints on the lenses.

Museum custodians were questioned and only reported they noticed a decrease in mice in the past few days.

FOX NEWS UPDATE

FOX
FAIR AND BALANCED NEWS

During yesterdays FISA debate, hundreds of cats wearing black leather jackets appeared and began nipping, biting and scratching those Senators who favored immunity for the telecom companies who are accused of illegally spying on US citizens. No mercy was shown on those Democrats who sided with GW Bush on this issue.

In the end, four Dems crossed over to vote with the Republicans: Sens. Mark Pryor (D-AR), Ben Nelson (D-NE), Blanche Lincoln (D-AR) and Mary Landrieu (D-LA). These Senators were rushed to a nearby hospital and are in stable condition. Mary Landrieu who flopped her vote in the end had to have stitches.

Sen. Arlen Specter (R-PA) was the lone Republican to vote with the Dems. He was spared from attack.

Spookes -Poose of Pooses for Peace, Zevo Calamari issued this statement after the debate "Thanks to these brave cats and their pet humans calling their Senators, we've been successful in preventing the Senate from passing a wiretapping bill that grants retroactive immunity to AT&T and Verizon.

We at FOX NEWS believe that Zevo and her cohorts are Anti-American and are helping the terrorists with their actions. OUCH what the #!*K! Was I just bit? Someone get me a band aide...............

Last night's State of the Union was disrupted with hundreds of screams and sneezing through out the night. Though, no one was able to see what was actually biting them or causing allergic reactions through the Senate, authorities believe it was the work of the Special Forces Division of the Bite Patrol. Several Senators were covered in cat fur following the speech. No reports as of yet whether President Bush or Dick Cheney have been bit. However both were sneezing while being whisked away immediately after the speech to a secure location.

Secret Service is looking into this biological warfare incident.

In other DC news there are unconfirmed rumors of a secret party at the National Gallery of Art.

Sharpen Your Teeth!

Fellow Bite Patrol Volunteers.....today is the day. Will we permit this chimp to take away our freedoms? Sharpen your teeth.... Soon we go into battle. ...........

Thanks to those who nagged urged Senators Clinton and Obama to come back to work and vote against McConnell's cloture vote on the Intelligence Committee's pro-telco amnesty FISA bill, they will make a guest appearance and should be spared from being bit today.

However... our work is cut out for us. Here is the list of Senators who think it is ok for the Chimp to illegally spy on you and your pet humans... and they are willing to give immunity to those telecom companies for helping. Have your pet humans call these folks and demand they vote NO for on McConnell's cloture vote and NO more spying !
These Senators should be warned to wear armor if they do not comply!

• Bayh (202) 224-5623
• Carper (202) 224-2441
• Inouye (202) 224-3934
• Johnson (202) 224-5842
• Landrieu (202)224-5824 BIT EXTRA HARD! SOLD OUT TO THE TELECOMS
• McCaskill (202) 224-6154
• Mikulski (202) 224-4654
• Nelson (FL) (202) 224-5274
• Nelson (NE) (202) 224-6551 BIT! SOLD OUT TO THE TELECOMS
• Pryor (202) 224-2353 BIT! SOLD OUT TO THE TELECOMS
  
• Salazar (202) 224-5852

For up to date info on the battle go to firedoglake.com

Tonight Special Bite and Run Forces will be covering the State of the Union. There will be a party afterwards at the National Gallery of Art with plenty of nip-tinis, tequila and ham!

May the Force be with you!

Nubi wan Kenobi, Chosen Bodyguard for Chey!

Honored i am, chosen i have been. Protect Cheysuli i shall. New Ray-Bans will me she give? The ham enjoy you did?

May the Force with you!
general nubi wan kenobi
jedi poose
New Body Guard to Presidential Candidate Cheysuli

Thanks for taking hiring him Chey! The ham is in the mail. I never thought just offering a ham would be the easiest way to ship him off somewhere else!

Just a reminder to all pooses who have recently volunteered for The Bite Patrol Brigade:
Monday we will need reinforcements.
We have the FISA bill debate and later we will be sending in special forces for the last State of the Union address by the Decider Chimp.

Please be in full uniform. Sharpen your claws and teeth.
Plenty of tequila and Listerine will be provided for that nasty taste!
Party afterwards at the National Gallery of Art.
ciao ciao
zevo calamari

p.s. HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Boo's pet human!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and Happy Birthday to Keith Olbermann ! xoxoxoxo

CNN BREAKING NEWS

Yesterday during the FISA debate in the Senate, hundreds of cats along with a black lab and one shepherd puppy ran through the aisles biting and scratching Senators Harry Reid, Diane Feinstein and numerous other senators who voted to let the government snoop on Americans illegally. (To see if your senator was bit click on www.irregulartimes.com)

Also bit by another patrol of cats in South Carolina were Senators Clinton, Obama and McCain. These cats were hissing "Shame on all of you for not showing up to defend our rights! None of you deserve to be the elected." CNN believes these cats are supporters of Presidential Candidate Cheysuli.

Some of the cats were wearing tiaras, all were wearing black leather jackets with a Bite Patrol logo on the back. Unconfirmed sources saw one cat wearing a jedi robe and swinging a light saber. Others reported seeing Dude the Bird Dog, ex-dog of Mike Huckabee in fishnets and a sequined IMPEACH t-shirt. One aide claims to have seen a black shepherd puppy running with the cats.

All Senators were rushed to an undisclosed hospital and are in stable condition. Several senators are missing earrings, watches and blackberries. Capitol Hill authorities believe this attack was led by the Pooses for Peace, friends of Senators Chris Dodd and Russ Feingold.

Spokes-poose Zevo Calamari released a statement after the attack,"Give us liberty...or you get bit! Don't tread on my tiara!..... What earrings? What is this entry "For a good time call...." in this blackberry?"

Security will be tightened for Mondays'showdown in the Senate over the FISA debate.

The Pooses for Peace are urging everyone to please call their congressmen if they care about this important issue.