Planet Calamari Zazzle shop

2006-08-31

Zevo call San Diego please!

Zeevs...

Call me when you get home..... so much is happening at the Betty Ford Rehab with Lucy. She started another riot. I have so much gossip to tell you!

I am going over to Hamburger Mary's later. Hope the rest of the flight went ok with you... that pilot was cute and he is MINE.
ok?

love

Boo

ANDERSON COOPER 360


LIVE FROM ARUBA:

An unconfirmed source who seemed to be drunk has claimed that he witnessed 2 pooses wearing trench-coats and tiaras boarding a private lear jet last night at Hangar 13. No other details have surfaced about the stolen jewelry and other property of those at the casino the night of the theft.


Breaking News from San Diego: CAT FIGHT AT THE BETTY FORD REHAB FOR POOSES.....STAY TUNED FOR MORE......... ALERT......... SWAT TEAMS ON THE SCENE.........

360 IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY Planet Calamari

2006-08-30

Keith Olbermann defends Zevo & Boo

".....and today's WORST person in the world is.... YOU guessed it ....... Bill O' Rielly ....for blaming Zevo and Boo for being AL Qaeda.... Yes they are liberals... BILL.... ALL pooses are. (Ok... there may be a few pit bulls who are neocons.).. BUT Zevo and Boo are not terrorists. Fashionistas.... perhaps

BUT you Bill are the worst person in the world for blaming these girls for having fun. By the way... I heard your ratings are dropping. Maybe you could interview Barney the dog soon...."

Coming up next.... Red Sox Flu and Yankee Fever...........

Countdown brought to you by Planet Calamari

Fox News and the Jewel Thieves of Aruba

From FOX NEWS.....
Mr. O' Reilly reports that the pooses in question are know liberals AND Al Qaeda pooses.... the WORST kind. Armed with a sense of humor and intelligence these are the trickiest to deal with. Proceed with caution. These pooses will laugh right in your face when you threaten eternal damnation or homeland security.
FOX NEWS ...Fair and Balanced News direct from the mouth of Karl Rove & Co.....

Planet Calamari would not sponser this latest report.

BREAKING NEWS....... JEWEL THIEVES IN ARUBA

AP
BREAKING NEWS: Jewel thieves are said to be running loose in Aruba. Sources confirm several sapphires, diamonds and precious stoned jewelry, flip flops and cell phones to be missing. Unconfirmed sources claim Al Queda Pooses are to blame. Other sources reported seeing two pooses wearing tiaras running while wearing Jimmy Choo flip flops down the beach from armed police. No details on their where abouts have been confirmed.

This report is brought to you by Planet Calamari

Hangovers in Aruba

Well it is another beautiful day on the beach and we still have horrid hangovers. Boo and i hit the casinos last night. Emily was too busy with her human friends to come play with us and she would not lend us any money. ....so we borrowed some........ kind of...
We also borrowed some cool jewelry to wear to the beach. Sapphires go so well with our eyes and our new Jimmy Choo flip flops.

I do hope we are nominatied to be the celebrity spokesperson for the NCCAOM. Any publicity we can get really helps us to score more cool stuff.

uh oh................ why are there men in uniforms with guns on the beach?
gotta run
xoxoxox
zevo

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2006-08-29

Star Search for a acupuncture celebrity

Searching for a Star

The NCCAOM (National Certification Commitee for Acupuncture and Oriental Medicine) is looking for a celebrity spokesperson who is a consumer of acupuncture to be the public representative for the profession for AOM Day and the upcoming 25th Anniversary celebration. We are asking our Diplomates us find the right person to reach out to the public and explain the benefits of acupuncture and Oriental medicine treatment. We hope to be able to shine the spotlight on AOM. However, in order to get media and the public’s attention, we need the right person and we know that we can’t find this person without you!
click here to read more

Zevo and Boo make it to Aruba!

After many threats to steal his birdie toy we finally got Nubee to give us our tickets to Aruba. We are so looking forward to laying on the beach to nurse these dreadful hangovers. Princess Stephanie is quite the party girl.

Emily should meet us here sometime today. I hope she brought extra money. Boo and i would like to go to the casinos later.
oh.. our margaritas are here...
later

zevo

2006-08-28

Who bit Joan Rivers at the Emmys?


"Oh my God....did I really bite Joan Rivers? Is it true what that green eyed poose in my therapy group told me?

I really don't remember that...In fact, I don't remember even going to the Emmys last night..... Someone get me my medication please." Robin Williams


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Cat Fight at the Emmy's

That's Entertainment has reported that last night at the Emmy's the cast of CATS and a group of cats from Hillcrest CA joined forces to subdue a hysterical cat named Lucy who was said to be off her medication . The rumble began during the Emmy's when Joan Rivers would not allow Lucy to add her comments on the air. Lucy then bit Joan Rivers, Melissa Rivers and then went on a rampage biting every starlette who was wearing Jimmy Choo shoes.

Police and Swat teams were called to the scene. After Lucy was tranquilized, the cast of cats and her Hillcrest friends held an intervention and talked Lucy into taking her medication again.

Lucy has checked herself into the Betty Ford Rehab Center for Pooses and will remain there for a month.

This edition of Entertainment Tonight is brought to you by Planet Calamari

2006-08-27

Dr Phil steps in ....


Ok girls...now this is quite enough.

Lucy, I want you to go back on your medication. Tom and Katie will understand. If not, I will deal with them.

Zevo and Boo, I want you to stop tormenting her.

Paris, I want you to control your drinking.

Nubee, I think you are doing a great job as the Blog Master.

As for the rest of you, I would like to hear that you all bought at least $50 from Planet Calamari.

Please don't make me call Oprah.
Love,
Dr. Phil
ps.... Would love to have you all on the show fighting some time soon.

Poose-cam at the Church of Scientology

Sources confirm that Lucy has joined the Church of Scientology, thanks to Tom and Katie's advice. She has promised to donate all of her pet human's belongings to the church. She has also promised to donate the Tiara which she claims Boo has stolen, if it is ever returned. Rumor has it that Lucy has been off her medication and is not thinking quite clearly.

Zevo and Boo could not be reached for comments. Unconfirmed sources have seen them in Monaco along with Princess Stephanie dancing on table tops at the discos there.

They are boycotting the Emmys until all actors & starlettes refuse to wear fur.


Poose-cam live brought to you by Planet Calamari which is not as far out as Planet Scientology.

Lucy joins forces with Tom and Katie


While you two air heads were lollyggging around Monaco looking for Kevin Federline, I was invited over to Tom and Katie's for brunch and to see the baby. And...I have Suri pictures! And. that tiara needs to be in my jewelry box by this afternoon or there WILL be trouble. I need it to wear to the Emmys.

Lucy

Poose-cam live from the Moulin Rouge


Paris le chat dort outre de trop de champagne et de danser à dans les salles de bains du fard à joues de Moulin Rouge.

Translation :Paris the cat sleeps off too much champagne and dancing in the bathrooms of the Moulin Rouge.





Poose-cam live brought to you by calamari de planète

2006-08-26

The Revenge of Lucy begins.....

Dear Zevo and Boo,

I am so incensed at the endless drivel you've been posting on your web site about the stooopid birthday trip to Europe without me. Just know that I cannot stand idly by while you humiliate me and taunt me and withhold me tiara from me. Beware, I am watching you!

Miss Lucy

Poose-cam live from San Diego brought to you by Planet Calamari

What Tiara?


Poose-cam live from Monaco brought to you by Planet Calamari

A Message from a miffed Lucy


BOO!!!!! I WANT MY TIARA BACK!

This is a warning to Boo and Zevo... you did not invite me to your bash and now you have my tiara. Give it back or i will call homeland security. Karl Rove and i are buddies.

SO there....na na na na na

Lucy

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2006-08-25

Off to Monaco...


Hard to believe we were actually thrown out of the Depp residence. Poor Johnny was still asleep when that nasty woman kicked us out... literally. We "borrowed" her car and decided to visit our friends in Monaco. Princess Stephanie is a blast to hang out with. She has a sense of humor unlike Ms Paradise.

We will stay here until we leave for Aruba on Tuesday. Emily said she mailed the tickets... hope we get them.

Planète Calamari de visite

Quote by Vanessa Paradise by French Press

"J'ai fait ces chats méchants partir de ce matin. Mes chevilles saignent. Les enfants pleurent. Ils ne sont plus bienvenus ici. "

Vanessa Paradise

Translation: I made those nasty cats leave this morning. My ankles are bleeding. The children are crying. They are no longer welcome here.

2006-08-24

Off to Southern France to visit Johnny


The photo shoot went well with Donatella. We were able to shoot Boo for the Italian Vogue and me for the French Vogue. Those issues do not come out until September. I do hope they air brush those extra pounds i put on at the party.

We are off now to visit with Johnny in Southern France. Unfortunately his wife and children will be there so it will be a short visit. His wife does not like us. I have no idea why. I didn't mean to bite her ankle at the Oscars...... Those French can not take a joke.

We are still waiting to hear from Emily if she is paying for our flight to Aruba with her. I hear she has been riding my Vespa around town. The least she could do is spring for a couple of tickets...oh First Class ones please.

Ciao for now
love zevo

2006-08-23

More of the Vogue Photo Shoot with Boo and Donatella



Ring given to Boo by Johnny Depp.
Pearl necklace from George Clooney.

Directed by Donatella Versace









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The photo shoot in Milan begins


Grazie per i lotti d'acquisto delle cose al calamari del pianeta,
amore,
Donatella
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Boo's Gift Registry





well, it was supposed to be private, with no paparazzi, but somehow these photos got out.............


The amberish and yellowish necklace is from Gwyneth.....more photos soon to be in the Fall issue of Italian Vogue.

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2006-08-22

Max the Pig

Eat your heart out girls... He is all mine!

Love
Max

ps...Love the cool stuff on Planet Calamari

Wine Tasting with George Clooney


Today we are going wine tasting with George and some of his friends, Julia, Matt, Leonardo... Later he is having a party for us. Such a sweet man. Tho....he is obsessed with his pet pig.... I am not sure any of us can compete with THAT..
....humans!

Tomorrow we are going up to Milan to visit Donnatella and try on a few more dresses. I have to do the Vogue photo shoot for the Fall edition. I promised Donatella i would... and after all i get to keep all the dresses i wear. I talked her into letting Boo pose too. (She could use a few more outfits and then she won't "borow" mine)

Lucy has gone back to San Diego. She is still fighting with Boo over some silly tiara. And Boo was quite upset with her nasty comments on Letterman about us. Paris has gone back to the Moulin Rouge to meet some friends.

Oh....... my breakfast is being served...
ciao ciao
zevo

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2006-08-21

Off to Italy with George


We had a fabulous time at Madonna's, despite the accusations of Karl Rove that we were AL Quaeda Pooses. Wonder what the Bush twins are doing today?

We are now staying with George at his lovely estate on the lake. What a gracious host. He has allowed Boo and i to invite Paris and even Lucy to stay for a few days. The we are off to Johnny Depp's in the South of France.

My pet owner begged to come but enough is enough. She can stay home and treat those nasty dogs. Traitor.

Oh....my breakfast is being served....later
ciao ciao
zevo

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2006-08-20

Nubee has his revenge










While Zevo was in London partying with the glitterati ... i drank all of her champagne and ate all of the tuna pate. And now the balcony is all mine... mine... mine....................

May the Force be with you,

Nubee Wan Kenobi

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2006-08-19

Happy Birthday Boo!


We would like to thank all who made Boo's Birthday Bash a success..... Madonna, Gwyeneth Paltrow, Cold Play, Donnatella, Jimmy Choo, Manolo, George Clooney, Padre Don, Jennifer Aniston, Jimmy Buffett, The Dixie Chicks, Neil Young, Michael Moore, David Letterman, Jon Stewart, Steven Colbert, Cyndi Lauper, Paris the Poos, Lucy, Valerie Plame, Princess Gaucamole, John Kerry, John Prine, all the good Johns, and even Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth....and our pet humans, toni, princess calamari and normie. And anyone we left out since we are kind of drunk....

Love
zevo and boo

Planet Calamari a Pro-Peace, Pro-Poose Planet

Barney Bush Caught with Stolen Crown


Associated Press
News Alert.
Barney Bush, dog of George W Bush has been caught wearing the Queen's stolen crown. Trying to crash Madonna's party uninvited, Barney was said to be drunk and staggering.

Unconfirmed sources say that the Bush twins were miffed they were not invited to Boo's Birthday Bash at Madonna's and tried to frame Zevo and Boo for the stolen crown. Valerie Plame, ex CIA agent said that Karl Rove helped in the staging of the theft and then claimed they were AL Queda Pooses.

No word on how the authorities will deal with Barney and the Bush twins. All are being flown back to Texas on AirForce One.

The terror alert is now down to purple and rumor has it that Madonna and guests are having a lovely Birthday supper.

This News Alert brought to you by Planet Calamari

AP report ...Crown Still Missing.... AL Queda Pooses?


Associated Press
8-19-06
As of Saturday morning Queen Elizabeth's crown is still missing. The Terror Alert has been raised to the highest level in the US and in Great Britain. Speculation that Al Queda pooses have been linked to this theft as well as other strange incidents in London last night. Karl Rove released a statement saying these pooses have been seen with weapons of mass destruction.

An unidentified source claims these pooses are visiting London for a birthday party given by Madonna. Sources claim these pooses are anti-bush, and with an organization called Pigs for Peace. Authorities are not sure whether they are looking for cats or pigs.

Madonna has refused all interviews. George Clooney released a statement saying that the pooses in question are being targeted for their politics and they are innocent. The Dixie Chicks, Neli Young and Michael Moore have flown into London to lend support for Pigs for Peace.

As of Saturday morning no arrests have been made.

This article courtesy of Planet Calamari

2006-08-17

Peaceful Back to School Clothing


Before i leave for Europe i would like to do a mini commercial for Peace. My sister, Baby Pig Calamari started the Pigs for Peace movement a few years ago. ( May the Poose Goddess bless her poosie soul.) As the current director for Pigs for Peace and Pooses for Peace, i implore the humans on this planet to knock it off and start treating everyone and thing with respect and love. There is no need to blow things up. Just be nice. Now how hard is that? Really?

Please support world peace and my collection of Jimmy Choo shoes by buying some of these cool new Pro-peace tees and gifts from Planet Calamari. Most of these will be in the gift bags given to the guests at Boo's Birthday Bash. I think George Clooney will look so buff in the men's sleeveless tee and Madonna wants the skinny baby doll top....

peace and love

zevo

Back to School sale. Free Shipping on orders over $50
Coupon Code: BTS2006
Expires August 31, 2006
Gnome designs
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2006-08-16

Happy Birthday Madonna!














STRIKE A POSE! Happy Birthday Madonna!

love
boo & zevo


P.S. Madonna would a love a few gifts from the
The Planet Calamari Store

2006-08-15

Jedi Poose Rejected at Boo's Bash




Shocking that i was not invited... after all i do for Zevo around here. I would rather stay home with my new bear than hob nob with the glitterati.

So there!

Nubee Wan Kenobi

2006-08-14

Paris does back-up vocals for Madonna



This is our new friend Paris. She saved us from those nasty French police at the Moulin Rouge the night we bought french cat nip. She will at Boo's bash and singing back up vocals for Madonna. She wears the coolest platform shoes too. I do hope she brings a few pairs for Boo and i to wear.

ciao for now,

zevo




Please support Zevo by shopping at! The Planet Calamari Store Poose friendly gifts for all.

2006-08-13

George Clooney RSVPs






Ladies,

Thanks so much for the invite. Looking forward to dancing with you both at the bash.

How about visiting my estate in Italy instead of that tiny villa in Tuscany the following week?

la mia casa è la vostra casa!

Ciao

George

Anyone who wears fur deserves to be bit

I did not bite Gwyen. Tho rumor has it she was wearing most of my family on her shoulders that night. And if that is true I would like to thank whoever bit her.

On behalf of all pooses. Please do not wear fur. It is tacky. It is murder. And humans look so silly in it. Stick to cotton.




Michael Mink
Save the Minks Foundation


By the way.... The Planet Calamari Store is poose friendly. !
The Planet Calamari Store

I DID NOT BITE GWYENETH

Come on now girls.. I was not even at Madonna's wedding.
So, I did not bite Gwyeneth and yes I do wish that someone would bite Brad.

I heard from the grapevine that a mink bit Gwyenth to protest her wearing fur at that party.

Would it be ok if I came to Boo's Birthday Bash?



Love

Jen



p.s I just bought a ton of great stuff from The Planet Calamari Store

2006-08-12

Gwyenth Paltrow RSVPs

Dearest Boo and Zevo,

I so look forward to this party. What a joyous occasion it shall be.

Alas, I shall have Apple and Moses stay with the nanny for the evening. If there is anything I can bring please let me know. I do not want you to fret about carry on luggage.

Chris and his band are so happy that they can perform for this bash.
See you oh so soon,

Love,

Gwyneth
鞋采取一切可以携带 好幸福 吉米.

Translation:
Take all the shoes you can carry!
good fortune,
Jimmy
My Darlings,

Take all the shoes you can carry! Any friend of Donatella's is a friend of mine.
See you at the Bash...

Ciao Ciao my Bellas!

Manolo

Party dresses courtesy of Donatella


Ciao Bella!

Please-a don't-a botha to a pack-a da clothes. I will-a give-a you girl-as all-a da dresses you a like to wear for-a la party! I make-a you look-a bella! Si? Oo kaa

Ciao ciao
Donatella